Published Anonymously by the Authors Request
What is it that really makes teenagers lose faith and rebel against their upbringing? Once upon a time, this problem was non-existent compared to what it is today. It was there, yes, but today it has shot through the ceiling and needs to be dealt with. The question is, how? Before we can fix the problem though, we need to take a break from our everyday lives and think. How did it have a chance to get this far?
The answer to the above question is fairly simple. We have been denying reality, not wanting to face what is really right in front of us. We have been saying: “well, it isn’t my child” “My kid would never do that” “Oh that is how teenagers act”. Wait, let’s pause for a moment and think. What do these expressions mean, what do they teach our children?
Time and again, I have heard it used, whether in a classroom and the teacher is saying to the class: “I know you didn’t mean to do it, you are teenagers, it’s natural” or by a parent saying to their child: “I know, I know, you are a teenager, and you are going to act out sometimes, but did you have to do that?” Thanks to us, the adults, the line has been turned into an excuse. Nowadays, if you walk into a rowdy class in time to hear the teacher tell a kid off for misbehaving, you are likely to hear: “well I am a teenager, how else am I supposed to act?” It is an invalid excuse that is unfortunately accepted by those who would rather put the blame on the kids ‘just being teenagers’ and ‘it will pass’ rather than face the crisis. In truth, we have been acting as irresponsibly as some teenagers and young adults ourselves when it comes to this blatant denial of a very real problem. the risks however are very different. The risk for us is losing some of our connection with the child. The risk for them is losing themselves.