Op-Ed: A Chassidishe Simcha—Not a Nightclub
by Anonymous
A troubling trend has emerged at some L’chaims in Crown Heights—one that has no place in the Rebbe’s schuna. Mixed dancing, disco-style lighting, and an atmosphere more suited to a club than a Chassidishe simcha have somehow crept into what should be a simcha shel mitzvah. This isn’t just a matter of taste; it’s a breach in the geder of tznius and kedusha, and the fact that it’s happening in our community should concern us all.
We must ask ourselves: How are parents allowing their simcha to take such a turn? How are halls permitting this under their roof? And how did we reach a point where something so foreign to Chassidishe values is being normalized?
A L’chaim is meant to be a gathering celebrating a chosson and kallah as they prepare to build a bayis ne’eman b’Yisroel, al taharas hakodesh. It should be filled with joy, but joy that is infused with pnimius and a Chassidishe taam. Instead, we are witnessing events that encourage an atmosphere completely at odds with bitul and hachna’ah.
This shift did not happen in a vacuum. The music, heavily influenced by secular beats and nightclub energy, has opened the door to a different kind of hislahavus—one that has no connection to avodas Hashem. When the music and the setting imitate a mokom shel pritzus, is it any wonder that the behavior follows suit?
Parents must wake up and take responsibility. This is their simcha, their achrayus. Just because “this is how people do it these days” doesn’t mean it’s l’fi darkeinu. Is this what it means to build a Chassidishe home? Are these the values we want to instill in our children?
Halls, too, bear responsibility. A simcha hall is not just a rental space; it’s a place that facilitates simchas shel mitzvah. No hall in Crown Heights would allow a treif caterer to serve food at a Bar Mitzvah. So why is this any different? A hall that permits such an event under its roof is complicit in allowing something completely hefkeirusdik to take place in the Rebbe’s schuna.
The Rebbe constantly emphasized that simcha must be infused with kedusha. Yes, a wedding is a time of simcha poretz geder—but not the geder of tznius and Chassidishe hanhagos! If we allow our simchos to become hefker, what kind of Chassidishe doros can we expect to emerge from them?
It’s time for parents, halls, and the tzibbur to draw a clear line. A simcha b’geulah ho’amitis v’hashleima is one that brings nachas ruach to the Rebbe—not one that distorts the true meaning of simcha shel mitzvah. Let’s ensure that every simcha in our schuna is a gilui of ohr v’kedusha, not the flashing lights of a nightclub.
AH
Dance the night away! Don’t worry about the old timers
Another AH
Agree!
nuuu!!
Disgusting that this website even allowed this comment to up
Were talking about halacha here
Yet another AH
The other AH’s here are trolling, as is sadly typical. (I have a feeling I know why, and why they use this particular abbreviation, but no matter.) Yes, we do need to worry, and we do need to put a stop to it.
Mendy Hecht
Any l’chaim of such an atmosphere is merely a “symptom” (if we can even call it that) of where the young couple is holding–so really addressing it begins years earlier. These are just a young man and woman being honest about “where I’m holding” or “not holding.” Insisting they be more frum now, at least on the outside, will only backfire.
YY Jacobson
Yes, I completely agree
Mushkie
Huh? “Insisting they be more frum now, at least on the outside, will only backfire.” Really? The chosson recites a maamar, even if he isn’t “holding” there. Because that’s WHAT IS DONE! The chosson usually wears a hat, even if he needs to buy one specially because he never wears one, because that’s WHAT IS DONE. It is silly to say it will only backfire! Keep standards! Even if not “holding” there!
Mushkie
You know, when a goy, lhavdil, comes into a shul, he puts on a yarmalka. It’s called “respect” to behave as expected in that environment. Like wearing a tuxedo to the opera. Let’s learn a bit of manners and respect. In a Chassidic hall, we don’t do nightclub style. It doesn’t matter where you are holding, you just don’t. Why is that a chiddush? Every goy understands it!
AH
האדם נפעל כפי פעולותיו. If they follow the external standards even if they’re not yet “holding by them,” then that itself will have an effect on them. Also, what Mushkie said.
Anonymous
I agree that the club atmosphere is a little overdue with the mixed dancing, the music blame the artists that create it. As for the level of chassidishness at the lchaim its the chosson and Kallahs simcha that your partaking in if you don’t enjoy it you can walk out same with a wedding bris or restaurant if the standard isn’t up to yours you don’t have to be there. Why does it bother you?
Tomim
The invite needs a warning, like a nude beach has a warning, that unclothed people are up ahead. Then you can choose to go or leave. Movies have ratings to warn the audience of violence or mature themes. But to invite and suddenly find ourselves in a nightclub is a problem.
AH
So should we apply this to other areas of halachah? If they bring in a big statue and offer food to it, should we also say that if you don’t like it, then just leave?
Old News
We had these kvetchers 25 years ago as well. They thing Judaism is about bidder depressing atmosphere the second anyone actually starts enjoying their Judaism it becomes traif. This is the old misnagdim culture. Even the litvish got past it. These phony chassidim want to reintroduce this vile culture.
hanan
There are sichos about how a chasidishe simcha should look.
Let’s not start calling the rebbe’s Hadracha, “Misnagdish”
TY
AH
And we also had your types 25 years ago, and 2500 years ago, who say “fo whatever you want and have fun, and hang the consequences for Yiddishkeit.” No, it doesn’t work that way; there are standards. The real chassidim knew well how to have simcha without hollelus.
Kivis
I totally agree. Nothing but shmuss.
Hindy
We all want the best for our children. We want them to build strong, happy, values-driven homes. That starts with the way we celebrate their milestones. Let’s work together—parents, halls, and the community—to make sure that every L’chaim reflects the joy, warmth, and meaning that a simcha should have. When we do that, we’re not just planning a party—we’re shaping the future of our families.
Moshe
Blaming the hall is like blaming the bakery that provided cookies for the Simcha. the Hall has no way of controlling what people do while the space is rented, it would require a full time mashgiach to make sure people behave according to Halacha.
Parent, on the other hand, DO have a say in how they want to celebrate their SImcha
Mushkie
Is there a policy at the simcha halls not to allow belly-dancers for entertainment? And if so, why? If nightclub music is allowed, why not belly dancers?!
G.Singh
Old customs, never die. They just fade away.
Finally
Thank you for writing this up.
Reality
Like someone told me: just make sure you aren’t doing it.
And if you want to change someone to recognize the truth-start with improving yourself in a area that you have no intention to improve. Everyone has their thing. This is theirs, yours is something else. When bochurim who are chassidish watch movies with women in it, I dont think it’s better.
AH
That’s necessary but not sufficient. There is also a mitzvah of הוכח תוכיח, and that one who has the ability to protest something wrong and doesn’t is also held responsible, and so forth. Saying “no one is perfect, therefore people can do whatever they want” is a copout.