Posted to Op-Ed on
by Hanna Y.

Op-Ed: No Ceasefire

Before I go to sleep I check the news, and the first thing I do upon waking is check to see what happened in Israel while I slept. I see I am not the only one because peoples Facebook/ twitter statuses have changed- as Jews we are worried. I am hyperaware of everything.  As I am shopping I notice every ‘off’ glance and I hear a toy ambulance from the toy store…The siren. I’m sweating… This is no comparison…

The word ‘tznius’ makes me nauseous. As does ‘mashpia.’

Maybe they were overused when I was growing up. No, I take it back- they were definitely overused. I can’t read articles about being tznius- most of them are ridiculous and too idealistic, or the articles are threatening and the like. I find them cold and unemotional- or too emotional and passionate and needing much patience to get through.

I’ll read about many other topics faster than tznius. I’ll read about teeth decay, 7 things moms do in 2014, something about the parsha if I’m trying to feel Jewish…but tznius – spare me.

I want to go on about the woes of shopping for a second. You get up and chances are you want to look good. Everyone has another opinion of that but the consensus is – we want to feel good, comfortable, somewhat effortlessly well dressed

It’s not easy spending on a budget (or without).

Tznius is often about convenience, time and comfort level. Anyone who argues is not a female or not a female I can relate to…

I can go on about the tragedy that is pantyhose for many hours. Pointless, hot, painful at times, and expensive. I persevere but it’s no easy feat..

Yet. Yet. I try anyway. There was a point this hot summer I really felt like giving up on some things. I’ll refrain from giving examples because I don’t want to nauseate (If it’s too idealistic for you) or scare (the horror of stopping) you.

It’s really easy to give up. Very little effort needed and less money spent. Liberating at times. If you need pointers on how to give up I can definitely help out in that arena. Stopping to do things is literally easy…

And then there were rockets. My heart broke and I felt empty. What am I doing for my people? I don’t know. I’m not in Israel. I can’t be in the army. I watch the news which doesn’t help them; I can give a pro Israel speech and update my Facebook page with the hypocrisy that is our world but I still feel useless.

…And then there’s my own struggle, battle, war, that never leaves. Never a ceasefire.

So I decide I’m going to continue. Continue being modest for my nation because I’m not like the rest of the world – which I’m starting to see doesn’t really like us too much.

I can wear my fedora but I know I look like an idiot- because I am different, and I am Jewish.. I am Lubavitch. I have something special to offer to the world…

And I really don’t pull off the fedora look…

It’s not just my clothes, it’s my life.

I need to show the world I am Jewish and I’m proud. Whether its  getting along and not fighting in public or private (with a husband or family and friends), choosing to look for the good in people,  being nice to the cashier, a smile to the neighbor…

G-d is making miracles; I want to have a part in this story.

So if it’s pantyhose for you, or pants, or not snapping at someone when you first wake up, or giving charity that you’re struggling with, or kosher- I don’t care. I’m just trying to make a small tiny difference because we are a small tiny nation…and I won’t give up.

Am Yisroel Chai.

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26 Comments

  • Tznius

    Lubavitcher chasidim have standards. Pantyhose are one such standard. If you truly believe they’re pointless, please don’t say so in the name of the Rebbe. If you’re not dedicated to fulfilling the Rebbe’s horas, don’t call yourself a Lubavitcher. No outpouring of internet sympathy can solve this problem.

    • Dear Sir

      Please wear them for a few days and get back to me. Put a sheltil on too. And learn to converse with people, and not talk down at them.

      For the record, chabad rabbonim said it is forbidden to have sites that allow comments, certainly without names. I’m sure you will immediately cease visiting these sites.

      ySl

    • Milhouse

      I think you totally missed the point of the article. It’s about kabolas ol, which is most definitely a Lubavitcher standard.

    • Perspective?

      What perspective? She’s confused, happy, angry, passive-agressive, bitter, determined all rolled into one. It’s a pitiful article. I feel badly for her anguish but I suppose that’s exactly what she wanted.

    • Milhouse

      “Perspective”, the article is about kabolas ol. Doing what you know is right even if it’s hard, even if you don’t really understand why you should be doing it, even if it seems completely pointless.

  • refreshing

    I am pleased to see this refreshing article,
    this young woman describes it as it is.Our young women are challenged with this mitzva ,that’s the reality.this approach is real and actual and applicable to today’s young girls and women.Our women do mean to be good.Most of them,when i speak to them about this(family members,friends) don’t seem to realize how off the mark they are .and definitely not aware how detrimental it is to their family.Each one thinks,no matter how inappropriate they are,that THEY are the ones we mean.Because,I think, that they dont want to be outrageous,they just are really challenged by it and think that it’s not so terrible as all the rebbetizn and do-gooders say and pontificate.those speeches actually turn them off.
    Now ,this young women writes it as it is, but with a sense of maturity, that no matter how ‘cool’ you think you look ,out there clearly they don’t like you anyways.So ,she feels a pride ,almost suddenly, to proudly be and show who she really is.To fight her inner struggle,as the young soldiers give their all and go to battle for klal yisroel.
    So proud of you and so thrilled that you wrote this.
    May we all find the strength to fight our ‘inner battles’ and come out winners.
    kol hakavod to you

    ‘s

  • tznius with a shturm

    Lets not fprget by us Chabad people hal\acha rules.We will keep halacha forever.

  • New to laws

    Please forgive my ignorance but are women expected to wear panty hose all the time?If her skirt is long enough why would she need them?Aren’t panty hose a fairly modern invention anyway?

    • it's okay

      we try to aim the best way that we can to please Hashem, it would be the best to wear panty hose all the time.The reason is: panty hose is guaranteed full coverage at all times. when the wind blows even when u have a long skirt or that there is not one chance your socks will fall down. since men can’t see women’s feet…

    • Citizen Berel

      I don’t believe that is correct, save for perhaps young children and woman who simply must wear halachic minimum length skirts.

      The grown ups in my family are tzenua beyond reproach in every way imaginable, and they wear long skirts and sometimes long socks and nothing ever is exposed. The point is that there be no exposure.

      Of course, in light of a valid source, I’ll stand corrected.

  • CH resident

    I can’t believe this spoiled girl/woman. So it is hard. There is a shulchon aruch. This girl is looking for attention. Even negative attention is attention. Get a job. Do mitzvos. Volunteer in bikur cholim. Compare yourself to soldiers fighting and giving up their life for your selfish petty discomfort. Shame on you. Please apologize to the frum crowd of crown heights. Get a life. You are a spoiled kid without any responsibility. Very immature and not too bright.

    • Milhouse

      The Tanya says you have to sympathise with someone’s struggle, and imagine how you would do if you had that person’s yetzer horo. That’s what this is about: the struggle with a strong yetzer horo, and the ultimate weapon against it, which is pure kabolas ol. When all else fails, when you can’t even explain to yourself why you’re doing this, kabolas ol can pull you through.

  • Bravo!

    That she is making the right decision for the sake of the safety of her nation.
    Here is one hero who although she struggles with this mitzva is putting aside her personal wishes and not being selfish- makes the right decision so that she can make a difference.
    Good for her.
    May we all learn from her and improve in this mitzva- we can all do better one way or another.
    Hashem has shown us many miracles recently but we gotta keep up the zechusim for Him to continue protecting our people.
    Its the least we can do- so lets each do our part…

  • Mother

    I like this article – the author says exactly what’s in the heart of many young women and girls. I’m from a different generation but I get her struggle! She should be commended for expressing her awareness of her ongoing battle and deciding that this is her ‘sacrifice ‘ to subdue the desires of the Nefesh haBahamis for the greater good of Am Yisroel. Kol HaKovod and may everyone learn from her to take on a Hachlota that they are challenged by to improve as the author suggests – we want to be part of the ultimate miracle – the Geula Now !

  • Thank you!

    Thank you for this beautiful and real down to earth article!!

    Don’t ceasefire! You are an inspiration!!
    – a sister you inspired

  • Agree with #1

    Here in the heat of Israel it’s a challenge. So is wearing a sheitel, but I do & so do others. Please – can we take this particular discussion (panty hose) OFF a public forum – that in itself is not tzanuah. Think about it.

  • tznius with a shturm

    The issue of having to cover your legs is a machlokes haposkim which Chabad Rabbaim have always been machimir so let us follow their ruling.

  • New to laws

    One last comment. I did a little research and found out
    ——hose were invented in the 1960’s. I was very surprised by this. I knew they were fairly recent but I thought more like the 1940’s.So my question is how could something be so pleasing to Hashem if it is such a recent invention?

  • New to laws

    Whoops-invented in the 1950’s but not widely available until the ’60’s.