It's 3:30, the bell rings. All the children in the hall are running to get out. It's the end of the school year and summer holidays are about to begin. Waiting outside, all the children are eager to get home. One boy is waiting quietly for his father to pick him up. Slowly, all his friends leave. A strange man approaches the young boy, “Hey Shmulli! Your father is stuck at work, so he asked me to pick you up.”
Op-Ed: Bad People Can Read Hebrew Too
It’s 3:30, the bell rings. All the children in the hall are running to get out. It’s the end of the school year and summer holidays are about to begin. Waiting outside, all the children are eager to get home. One boy is waiting quietly for his father to pick him up. Slowly, all his friends leave. A strange man approaches the young boy, “Hey Shmulli! Your father is stuck at work, so he asked me to pick you up.”
Young Shmuli stares the man up and down; he looks at his white shirt, black pants and of course that black yarmulke on his head.
Shmuli’s parents had spoken about talking to strangers, but this man wasn’t a “stranger” he was a Yid and he knew Shmuli’s name!
After little thought, Shmuli picks up his school bag and walks off with the man.
The above story is fictional, but it might as well be true.
As adults we constantly try and reinforce the “stranger danger” talks, but is it all talk? Do we do anything about it?
Klal Yisroel has recently dealt with a lot concerning this issue. The Leiby Kletzky horror from last summer is fresh in our memory.
Children’s perception of Jews is, sadly, the same as that of a policeman (not to say that this can’t happen as well). They perceive a Jew as “someone you can trust.” A young child knows it’s against the Torah to lie, or Chas Vesholom hurt someone.
After reading the story, you may ask: “how did the strange man know Shmuli’s name?” Was he a regular at the same shul? Maybe he met Shmuli’s family at the local pizza store?
The answer to this question is very simple: Shmuli’s yarmulke had his name on it.
Remember, bad people can read Hebrew too…
The author can be reached at rebachdus@gmail.com
very true
thank you for posting, especially with summer coming up
Yossi
Reb Achdus, perhaps your time would be better spent actually living up to your name instead of fear mongering anonymously… Seriously, am I missing something or are you really peddling sound advice on how to raise children? If so, where is it? My advice to you: Instead of using a Jewish website to drive a wedge through the community, why don’t you take a good look in the mirror before thinking out loud again. My advice to parents: Teach your kids how to recognize and react to strangers – specifically, give them the tools to recognize who they should trust and who they should avoid. Just like yarmulke and peyos doesn’t necessarily equal friend, brown skin and kinky hair doesn’t necessarily spell trouble. Teach your kids how to live in the world, not how to be afraid of it!
shlomo
I agree 100 percent my kids don’t and never will wear a yarmulka with their name on it.
marg
Many years ago my friend instructed her children never to go with anyone,especially after school, if it should happen that she were late or unable to collect them,if that stranger did not have a siman,eg.something of hers that was agreed beforehand with the children.Of course she would warn the school of any change of plan,but the siman was a secret between her and the children.
please
Lets not make as if this happens every day!
abe montreal
to yossi
what’s your point?
it’s better to be careful than to be SORRY!!
Get this in Shuls, Basei Medrash!
BS”D
Amazing, true, PUBLICIZE THIS
Thank you!
to number 5
It doesnt have to happen every day!! Its just a warning to be careful!!
shlomo as always with bad English
it not only in yarmulke. it on backpack too. i see even phone # and address
other side i speak with one guy in rehovot, that use same trick to call students leaniah tfilin. usual name on backpack.
Reb Achdus
Dearest yossi,
i do not give advice on how to raise children, yet i am a teacher.
this concern first arose when walking through a new school, i asked “Yossi” to pick up the trash he just threw on the floor. yossi was so calm never seeing me,
point is we tell kids not to trust strangers but we give the strangers everything they need.
Idea...
Here’s an idea….put a different name on your kids Kippah, and see who calls him by that name! No friend reads your name off a Kippah….
Yossi
Abe, I agree with you 100% that it’s better to be careful than chas v’shalom sorry. My point is that parents need to personally assume responsibility for teaching their children how to manage and avoid a potentially dangerous situation – taking away a yarmulke with their name on it or other identifiable object (or fear mongering, as HaRav Achdus advocates) won’t solve their ignorance in dealing with strangers or the world in general.
Mr. Achdus, the only reason I’d respond to your comment is so that others can see the danger and foolishness of your ways. The fact that you’ve revealed yourself to be a teacher of our youth makes your position all the more troubling. I’d be terrified to learn that you were my son’s or daughter’s teacher knowing that you, out of allegiance to some nonsensical principle, “do not give advice on how to raise children” while creepily boasting of how you tested your theories on unsuspecting kinderlach in the hallways of our moisdos. You are clearly in sync with the criminal mind and since all you’ve really done here is state “look what I know about your kids,” I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that you were a pedophile yourself.
Thank you
thanks for the reminder. I noticed some parents on Facebook mentioning that they were on vacation without their kids…very dangerous too…for similar reasons.
Sometimes we need to be reminded simple things, bc we’re not thinking form the vintage point of an evil person.
concerned parent
thank you for posting this warning. It is a real danger and parents should be aware that these things happen and should teach their children who to trust and who not to trust. About the names: I see children every day walking to school with their names embroidered in ENGLISH for all to see on their breifcases! Parents please don’t put your childs info on the front of the breifcases. If you need to label them do so inside.
name
you guys are all laughing but my son decided to wear his brothers yarmulka for a few days and guess what pple would call him by the name on the yarmulka which is not his, and since then he decided not to wear a yarmulka with a name on it cuz he realized himself it can be dangerous
CHER
Dear Yossi:
Take a chill pill.
The danger is out there and it’s real.
Why are you so jumpy? Perhaps your accusations are all but rejections (of yourself)?
Consistency
Children’s backpacks should have their names on the inside, same goes for anything that a child needs to label.
Children must know that there can never be a change in plans unless one of the parents tell the child of the change of plans. Children must know to never get into a car even with their parents friends unless the arrangements were made prior or the child calls a parent from school first to make sure that it is okay.
Parents need to remain consistent with their rules, whether it is with friends or not, the consistency will never confuse the child. They will know the rules!
Keep Safe.
Yarmulke
Just say on the Yarmulke- AD MOSAI?
Israeli and cannot sleep
I am Israeli and live in CH. Every night I dream in clear Hebrew. I can never ever sleep.
1234
Yossi your a whack.
Concerned Parent
Scarey but totally realistic. Thanx for posting.
OTOH, shouldn’t there be a teacher/monitor on the school grounds until every last child is picked up? No child should ever be left alone in an empty school building or on school grounds.
Parent
I’ve had similar experience where people spoke to my son using his name and my confusion on how they knew his name until they told me they read it off the yarlmulka. It is a real danger! In addition, have your son/daughter have a secret code word or number with you that if anyone says they are there to pick them up on behalf of their parents, they must know the code or come in the school to call the parents with the child.
Stranger danger
THis line is ridulous (As adults we constantly try and reinforce the “stranger danger” talks, but is it all talk? Do we do anything about it?)
So are u saying that banning yamulkas with kids names will save them from preditors? This isnt a safty fix. I agree with the comments that call for real parenting and not handing over the job to teachers, rabbis, school admins. The writer seems to just trying to scare people and comes out as sort of a weirdo.
take a deep breath
I was informed that the perpetrator of the crime against Leiby was not technically Jewish.
While this detail about names on Yarmulkahs is noteworthy, it is so unlikely to ever be an issue that inventing a fictional horror story to pump the issue up, and citing the one known exception in a hundred years (Leiby), and offering no other advice on child protection in general, is fear mongering of the highest order, and worse, it corrodes bitachon in Hashem.
Parents, keep up the good job of protecting your children, and DO NOT allow fear to cloud your thought.
You think clearly when you’re calm not when panicing.
Take it easy.
#24 should have written this column
Very well said. Reading most of the comments before yours proves once again that the masses are generally unwilling to think for themselves.
People use your yiddishe kops instead of siding with a fear monger. A tall order me thinks but not an impossible one.
this is nuts
FACEBOOK is way more dangerous with ppl publicizing their lives, and believing that “only their friends” can see it….
Rara
Make a secret password with your children and instruct them that it is a family secret. Tell them if someone ever has to pick them up, they will say the password. Otherwise don’t go with anyone! It worked for my family over the years and now B’H they laugh about it. It also makes them feels special like there is a secret family code.
serel maness
all this is true but in an em ,the child should be told what to do,em happens
C V
I want to share a real life version of this op-ed. I have two boys, KAH. They are 11 months apart, and little, and I guess the little girl in me that never grew up, loves to dress them up just so, and matching them is a personal enjoyment. As such they do command attention when they walk into a room. After the Leiby Kletzky A”H story, a friend pointed out to me, that unfortunately there are frum people who do bad things, and read personalizations the same way they can read anything else. Truth be told, I forgot about my boys knapsacks.. but for the most part, my kids dont wear their name yarmulkas anymore. I dont have to tell you that as a mom who is straight up scared of the dangers out there, I talk to my kids plenty about not talking to strangers. I came to the Ohel early one morning with my boys, and there was a frum guy who called out my sons name, and gave him 5. My little boy is only 4, and I asked him, who that man was. He said, he is my uncle. I said no, he is not. So my son said he is my cousin. I said no he is not. I went over to the guy who called my kids name out,, he was only being friendly, and he read my sons name off his yarmulka. He really wasn’t being anything more than friendly. I could see it when I was talking to him. He seemed a bit concerned when he asked me if I had a problem with it. I told him not him personally, but I am trying to teach my kid not to talk to strangers, and he just proved a strong point to me. My kids dont talk to strangers that dont look like us, (ie people that are not jewish, or not frum) but a guy who looked frum, that called his name out, didnt seem to be a stranger,,, I beg Hashem to give us siyata dishmaya, and I could not agree with this op ed more.
moti
#24it’s not once in 100 years there are many more cases of molestation or near-tragedies.
i agree
i totally agree with comment #21. no child should ever had to stand alone after school without some school supervision.
Yup!!!!
Good point!!!!