Left: Australian Royal Commission on CSA. Right: Rabbi Danny Yaffe.

Letter: Community Must Unite to Heal

As the Royal Commission Hearings on Child Abuse rip through the heart of Australia’s Orthodox-Jewish community, one Sydney Chabad Shliach – Rabbi Danny Yaffe – wrote the following heartfelt open letter, which was published in the local Jewish Media outlet J-Wire:

Dear Reader,

Although I am one of the Rabbi’s in your community, I have decided to keep silent until now. I have been debating with myself and somewhat lost for words as to the appropriate comments to say in such trying times. For those who know me personally, I do not often involve myself or volunteer my opinions on controversial community issues.

During the past few turbulent weeks, I have felt an overflow of varying emotions often sending me in to a state of internal battle; bewilderment, confusion, frustration, anger, sadness and guilt to name but a few that I have managed to recognise, many others I struggle to find a defining name for.

In the past two weeks, I have spent much time turning inwards, and taking the opportunity for self-introspection; as we call it, a ‘calculation of the soul’, a pidyon nefesh, in order to better understand my place, role and purpose in not only the Sydney Jewish Community, but within the wider Australian Jewish and Global Community.

Before I embark on this outpouring, I present you a disclaimer. This is not a political statement, a defence nor an excuse. It is merely a collection of expressed thoughts from my heart and mind, with insight into how these feelings can help me to refine myself and my future actions.

I grew up in what one might call a mixed home; some members of the family were more observant, and others less involved. Despite these differing levels of observance, all my siblings pursued academic degrees in the Arts, IT and Graphic Design, all with flying colours. Being the youngest of the siblings and being exposed to the chosen pathways of my elders, this gave me the necessary exposure and opportunity  to decide my own life’s career path. Thankfully, my parents did not pressure me to make a particular decision based on my siblings’ decisions, but rather supported me every step of the way on my own journey of self-discovery.

I chose to pursue the Rabbinate path; to become a Rabbi. Yes, I was well aware that there were tens of thousands of Rabbis in the world, and only a limited amount of communities worldwide. Yes, I was aware that it was not a job that guaranteed financial success and sometimes even stability. I was also aware that in order to become a qualified and recognised Rabbi, it would take me at least eight years of intensive study, beginning early morning to late at night, with minimal breaks. It would require high levels of concentration and advanced cognitive skills, as well as sacrificing all creature comforts particularly good, nutritious food and personal privacy. I would need to travel across four countries spanning the globe in order to qualify and even once qualified, I might never receive recognition, respect or honour!

So then what was behind my motivation to pursue such a career? What was it about this gruelling, seemingly out-dated, unprofitable title that drove me to leave home at thirteen and still be pursuing it until today?

For the last fifteen years of this journey, I have had the opportunity to learn, to teach, to experience, to guide, to lead, to influence and in turn to be influenced by thousands of unique and special individuals, each one an entire world, each one an infinite soul.

This, if it is even possible to summarise, is the reason why I became a Rabbi. I believed back then, and even more so today, that I was created and placed in this world for a reason. After all, why would G-d waste time creating and forming each of us if we didn’t have a specific and unique mission?!

While I do not know G-d’s ultimate plan, I must do whatever I can do within my power to make this world a better place. Throughout my years working as a Rabbi here in Sydney, I have often discovered that each person I come across finds themself at some point in a challenging situation where they need an ear to listen to or a shoulder to cry on. They may need a sounding board or a friend, they may need advice or guidance. They may want to be heard, understood and validated. They may want to learn about the depths of our precious heritage for the purpose of intellectual stimulation or personal guidance. They may need somewhere to sleep or somewhere to eat on Shabbat, or simply they may just need to feel accepted.

I decided fifteen years ago and counting that I wanted to be that friend, that ear, that shoulder, that hand, that guide, that mentor, that teacher, that support and that host. Why? Because hundreds and thousands, if not millions, don’t have access to at least one or several of those support systems. Therefore, I chose to fill as many of those roles as I could. As the days, months and years pass, I am developing my skills in order to successfully fill each role, one step at a time. Of course, I am aware that throughout my life, I will only have a limited effect on a limited number of people, but to be able to affect, help or support just one person, who in turn might be able to affect another, fulfils the purpose and reason I was created for.

By the mere fact that I have chosen to serve as a Rabbi, means that I must follow higher moral standards and conduct, and that I must be scrupulous in adhering to these standards constantly without failure. Because I am held to a higher degree of responsibility, my actions, therefore, are judged accordingly. With each of my actions, and with what I say, I must first analyse its appropriateness, what effect it will have on those around me, the Sydney and wider Jewish community, and of course, on my own development. It is a tedious process, but a necessary one.

I have been given a gift. That gift is the trust of my community; a trust that I will act, and react accordingly, in the best interest of those around me. If an individual approaches me, and shares with me something untold from their youth, painful, tragic or perhaps a secret which they have feared may cause them or their families abandonment, perhaps they have been bullied into keeping quiet, and have, therefore struggled and agonised over this burden for many years, then it is my duty, obligation and responsibility to relieve them of these struggles, in whatever way I can. The pain and guilt that they carry, is not, and should not, be theirs alone. It is also mine.

As a Rabbi, it is my responsibility to assist those who have gone through ‘hell and back’ to find solace, peace and comfort. It is my responsibility to take action for those who fear acting. And it is my responsibility to speak out for those whose voices cannot or will not be heard.

We, the Jewish people are one nation. From Sinai, the moment we became a nation, we stood as “Am Echad, B’Leiv Echad”, one nation with one heart. This is the dictum we have lived by for thousands of years and will continue to live by. Just as if one of our limbs is injured, the whole body is in pain, so too with the Jewish people. If one individual is injured, physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually, we are all injured. Whilst one is in pain, we are incomplete.

But why do we need to be complete? What benefit is it to us as individuals? For the very reason why we are here today; why I am here today writing this, and while you are here today reading this letter. When our children see that we are a unified, connected and strong people, devoted to truly helping one another in every sense, then our children will feel safe, supported and confident. This, in turn, will create a ripple effect throughout the generations, promoting a stronger, unified and proud community!

So let us heal from our fractured past, deal with the present accordingly and in unison, so that we will have a stronger and safer tomorrow!

Rabbi Danny Yaffe

13 Comments

  • moishe

    Nice article, a fair bit about yourself – and is inspiring,
    but I don’t get the point, what are you saying?
    Tachlis?!

  • Rabbi

    What chabad down under needs is retraining rabbonim. Yes you can give a great shabbos drasha or a shiur. But really what do you understand about humans and emtions. What is a true ravs direction in yiddishkeit?? what is the job of a community rabbi??? be together with your community, understand their needs and offer advise…who talk a rabbi advise? a tosfos? or a shicha?

  • Ruth Pinsky Krevsky

    I completely fail to see what it is that you are trying to say aside from the fact that you made many sacrifices to become a Rabbi. Please explain what you are trying to say.

  • Rabbi Danny

    Thank you everyone for taking the time and effort to make comments. Since there seems to be some confusion, and only a couple of comments I’ll be happy to clear the air;

    1. The point of talking about myself was to bring to the last 3 paragraphs which contain the Tachlis, Simply; A Rabbi is there to serve his community both in the way he feels is required of him as well as what is entrusted. Also to bring about the fact that I an only talking on my behalf and these are my reasons. In no way was the article written out of egotistical fantasies.

    2. I do not know you or who you have met, but those issues are not connected to the Chabad Rabbi’s I have met and know. Those issues relate to any Rabbi and any community leader! Cognitive dissonance is a very commen issue amongst many indivuals in our era.

    3. This has nothing to do with me making a sacrifice, as I don’t see that i have lost out. But see my first comment for further clarification of your confusion.

    4 and 5: Thank You

    6. Both similar concepts, Both similar outcomes, feel free to swap the words.

    The idea of the letter isn’t to try to read between the lines, it’s a very simple straight forward letter. I am happy to answer more questions at rabbidannyy@gmail.com if there is still confusion.

  • sounds nice

    too bad it isn’t realistic.
    Chabad rabbis are really not interested in am echud belaiv echad. if they were they whole debacle wouldn’t have happened.
    Instead of hiding it they would have immediately reported the molesters and removed them.
    I’m troubled at the fact that they felt that these people needed to be protected instead of the children that were in their specific care.
    Unfortunately, this mentality is not just found in Australia. Pity the person /persons that say anything negative about the chabad establishment. They are immediately segregated , whispered about , and there families are labled and held in the deepest contempt. If drinking the coolaid and shutting your mouth and not making any waves is what a person wants from religion they can join a commune for that.
    Did the author of this letter speak up when he was told about the abuse or things that were causing pain , immediately or is this an after the fact because well the walls tumbling down now and he doesn’t have to worry about the backlash. true not all rabbis were apart of this , but the general community had to know what was going on since so many children were involved in the abuse. This doesn’t speak well of the group as they were being intimidated into not saying anything or just didn’t care as long as it wasn’t their child.
    Is the author trying to smooth the waters here?
    There are genuine people that care , but its very hard to see or find them anymore.

    • Able to count

      You do realize that when the molestation was happening Rabbi Danny was still the child mentioned in the beginning of the article?

      only an idiot would hold today’s leaders responsible for yesterdays mistakes and only and idiot would hold yesterdays leaders to today’s standards.

      Moshiach now

  • well said

    One constantly reads how the Rabbonim are bashed and criticised. No one is perfect, but they are trying their best. I sometimes wonder how the ‘bashers’ lead their own lives, How perfect are they? Yes, the Rabbonim could easily train for another job, yet they have chosen an occupation which does not make you rich, nor popular. They have chosen to spend their lives helping others to the best of their ability.