SATIRE: Nine Things Only A Lubavitcher Might Say, and Understand

These statements probably will sound weird to almost everyone except Lubavitchers (and will make sense especially to those who have spent time in Crown Heights):

1) He plans to lein Megillah at least 14 times this year.
2) I saw your picture at dollars.
3) The boys got 17 tefillins, including one karkafta.
4) She only uses shmaltz, but her sister uses spices.
5) He was in the washing machine.
6) They’re leaving Crown Heights before Shabbos Hagadol and will miss the tank parade.
7) The girls gave out 20 licht and 30 Good Cards.
8) The group left early from 770 to walk to the Bronx.
9) Their family has three Snorkelers as tenants.*

(*Snorkelers are girls who formerly attended the Snorkel & Study program, run by Bais Chana International.)

(Have your own “Lubavitcher Only” statements to add? write them in the comments below or on our social media platforms, and maybe you will win a prize!)


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