SATIRE: Nine Things Only A Lubavitcher Might Say, and Understand
These statements probably will sound weird to almost everyone except Lubavitchers (and will make sense especially to those who have spent time in Crown Heights):
1) He plans to lein Megillah at least 14 times this year.
2) I saw your picture at dollars.
3) The boys got 17 tefillins, including one karkafta.
4) She only uses shmaltz, but her sister uses spices.
5) He was in the washing machine.
6) They’re leaving Crown Heights before Shabbos Hagadol and will miss the tank parade.
7) The girls gave out 20 licht and 30 Good Cards.
8) The group left early from 770 to walk to the Bronx.
9) Their family has three Snorkelers as tenants.*
(*Snorkelers are girls who formerly attended the Snorkel & Study program, run by Bais Chana International.)
(Have your own “Lubavitcher Only” statements to add? write them in the comments below or on our social media platforms, and maybe you will win a prize!)
Yossi Feldman
See here, I made my own list:
https://twitter.com/Badchonews/status/1621253744162705409?s=20
Sayings
He doesn’t go to the ohel
Statement
We’re going to jail on chanukah
Yossi A.
Better yet.
We got our FBI clearance to go to jail.
Statements
Seder wasn’t good enough enough
He didn’t get shlichus
Statement
“zug lchaim”
“I already said 4”
Tishabav
Mom, I’m going to maariv soon tonight (on tisha b’av)
Is it OK if I take these bags of beans?
yup
these r way toooo good!!