Op-Ed: Let’s Take Phones Out of Our Schools, No Not Just For the Kids

by anonymous

There are movements worldwide to take phones out of schools for students and rightfully so.

The effects of technology are already evident. With all time low attention spans, all time high mental health issues, children and teens wasting endless amounts of time instead of using their talents and time wisely and more. However, today, I’m here to discuss a different side to taking phones out of our classrooms and our children’s days.

Our Children’s days are filled with constantly distracted adults. They often wait for the bus with a scrolling parent, hop onto the bus to a scrolling bus driver and monitor, and head to school where Rabbeim and teachers often are holding , wearing , using devices or have them out on the desk. Therapists are seen scrolling as they walk the hallways and even during sessions. Program directors, principals, secretaries and all sorts of school personnel are all seen the same. With ear pieces or hand held devices often distracting them.

Don’t our children deserve to have the full attention of those that are paid to help and care for them. We know so much about the brain and connection. Yes, we may be sparing the rod and talk more kindly. However, our children feeling like there’s always something more important or more exciting than them can be just as damaging or worse. We all want to be seen, noticed and to be given undivided attention. There is no greater human need than the feeling of self worth.

Teachers. How does having a phone on hand help our children in the classroom? A phone is a personal device and should be used as such. Running a classroom and trying to help each child takes so much skill. It’s a most rewarding and incredible job when done well. A good teacher can truly change a child for life. However, our children need fully present adults. Adults that notice them, talk to them, help them. Adults that model healthy behaviors ( taking out a phone and scrolling every time we have an extra second is not healthy). Even during recess, students need the teachers to talk to them and engage with them on a personal level. To notice social issues, notice changes in the children and to revel in their successes, joys and new Mazel Tovs. After handing out work or a test, notice the kids that need help. If no one truly does pull out a Tehillim, grade some papers, model using our time wisely. Their loved ones can and should have the number to the front desk to get a message to them in the case of an emergency. And cameras can take pictures, so that we don’t become distracted when taking out a phone for pictures. No pictures is ok too, children will come home excited to share, when things are done in a special way. Several schools have instituted classroom and hallway phone free zones. Asking their staff to only check their phones only in the teachers rooms.

Therapists. There is absolutely no reason for a therapist to be on their phone during any session. They are there to support our children and our schools. Their phones should stay out of sight and sound in our halls and classrooms. As guests in our mosdos, it’s vital they model the values of our institution. If one is paid, paid well, to support our children, there is no reason for a phone to be in sight and sound when helping our children. On the contrary, it’s damaging to our children to be in the presence of adults that they know are there to help them, however they are distracted by their personal needs or needs for distraction. If your child has therapy it’s vital you are aware of what truly happens during those sessions and that the school has clear policies and oversight for fully present therapists.

Principals, Secretaries and all school personnel. Our children ( just like us) want to be seen and heard. For the job we are paid for, the people that we really need to be there for are in the building. They are not calling us on our personal devices. Parents can and should call the school lines so we can focus on their children. kids want us to notice them and wish them mazel tov on their new baby brother, to notice them crying when they feel they were unfairly kicked out of class, they want us to notice them for making it on the chidon trip and to give them a high five. They want us to call them into our office and offer them a snack, a listening ear, but with no devices in sight or sound. Giving them the feeling that there is nothing more important than them at that moment. The feeling is priceless.

Parents. Chinuch starts and ends with you. We are so attached to our phones today we are more likely to leave our child in the car than our phone. How can that make our children feel? At home, and wherever you go, your children need your presence. Most children today wish their parents were on their phone less. That we listened fully and are there relishing in their successes or hugging away sadness with no distractions. When you come into our schools, put away your phones. Spend the time wishing your child off to a most successful day. Be there for your child, be a good role model for others. At events, plays, or just dropping off your child at school. Truly just be there. There is no call or message more important than that. Let your children catch your eyes smiling at them and not looking down. One school personnel that doesn’t have to care for the children can be asked to take a photo/video so the kids have present adults truly seeing them, instead of looking out to a sea of phones.

Our children grow fast. It’s a lot easier to build a beautiful vessel than to repair a broken one. Chinuch is so much more than just chumash and math. If tatty is driving and texting, Rebbe is sauntering across the street to yeshiva scrolling, Morahs phone purse lights up all her questionable apps, therapist is scrolling instagram or watching youtube, what chinuch messages are our children getting then? If our mosdos are not making proper technology guidelines for our children, what kind of chinuch is that? Instead of running around outside, building, creating, socializing and doing their school work. We have children (even babies) watching videos, playing on phones, playing video games and just wasting time and doing questionable things on social media. Teens are posing for countless selfies, the perfect pose for their status and being pulled into Tik Tok trends. We quickly sign up kids with attention challenges for therapy but do their adults have the ability to stay on task without checking their phone every 90 seconds. If our children are given endless amounts of time to be on screens, their brains are being wired for a minimal attention span. Per scientists, that of the least smart fish.

Many in our generation feel we are doing a much better job than our ancestors. Unfortunately, the data shows otherwise. In 20 years, do we want our children to tell their therapists that their parents, siblings, teachers, uncles….phones were always more important than them. Let’s show our students and children this is not the case. Let’s truly be a generation that will wire our children differently. We would be really upset if our cleaning lady or contractor was constantly distracted. Why does it not bother us the same when it’s those hired for our children? Everyone, no matter their job, should be honest with their time. However, we can not allow anyone from babysitter ( a whole other article, poor babies are in the park in the stroller while babysitter babbles to friends or watches videos) to bnos chabad heads, that are hired to help and be a role model for our children, be distracted and do personal things while entrusted with our precious children.

This holds true for our camps, we are paying for present, healthy role models for our children. Phones on hand don’t help create more chassidishkeit, a better davening experience, chayos in the lunchroom, or success at sports. The same goes for their music classes, sports classes, bar mitzvah lessons and everything in between. If we are paid to do a job, especially one involving children, it’s vital we are truly there for them fully. As parents, we should do the same and advocate for it wherever our children are.