Op-Ed: From Baal Teshuva Roots, Seeking Belonging and Acceptant’
by Anonymous
As we pass Tisha B’Av, a time to strengthen our Ahavas Yisrael, I feel it’s important to share an incident that recently happened to me, one that reflects the need for greater inclusivity and understanding within the Chabad community.
Being raised in a Baal Teshuva family has profoundly shaped my identity as a Jew. My parents’ journey of rediscovering and embracing Orthodox Judaism brought a beautiful richness and diversity into our home. So, when I received an invitation to a Shabbos meal hosted by a well-known Chabad family, I was excited, anticipating a warm and welcoming atmosphere that celebrates unity.
Arriving at the Chabad family’s home, I was immediately greeted by the aroma of freshly baked challah and the enchanting melodies of Shabbos songs. I had met the hostess before, and I assumed she would warmly greet me as was to the other guests. But instead, I was met with an unexpected comment that pierced my heart – “Oh, you’re the only guest here who’s family I’ve never heard of.”
In that moment, I felt like an outsider. Despite my background and passion for Chabad teachings, I was made to feel like I didn’t quite belong. It was a disheartening experience, and it made me realize the importance of addressing assumptions and prejudices that can alienate individuals within any community.
Chabad is renowned for its outreach and love for every Jew. The Rebbe’s teachings emphasized embracing every soul, regardless of their background or level of observance. As Chabad members, we must actively work to create an inclusive atmosphere where every Jew feels valued and respected.
My own family is a Chabad family, though not as widely known within the community. Still, we wholeheartedly embrace Chabad teachings and traditions. My parents’ journey of return to Judaism is a testament to their deep faith and love for Chassidic teachings. Like any other Jewish family, we observe Shabbos, celebrate holidays, and strive to embody the principles of loving-kindness and compassion.
Through my experience, I believe it’s crucial for Chabad communities to reflect on their attitudes toward those who may not be as familiar or well-known in their circles. True Judaism lies in our shared heritage and the unity that binds us together as one family. By welcoming and embracing every Jew, regardless of their background, we embody the true spirit of Chabad and honor the Rebbe’s vision of a unified Jewish people.
Communication plays a significant role in fostering understanding and empathy. Engaging in meaningful conversations and learning about each other’s unique journeys can bridge the gaps and create an environment where all Jews can thrive within the Chabad community.
In conclusion, my experience at the Chabad Shabbos meal has been a catalyst for reflection and growth. While my family may not be as widely recognized in Chabad circles, our commitment to Judaism is unwavering.
Let us work together to build a Chabad community that exemplifies unity, inclusivity, and love, embracing every soul that seeks connection with open hearts and open arms. By doing so, we honor the spirit of Chabad, creating a brighter future for ourselves and the generations to come.
Through strengthening our Ahavas Yisrael may we merit the ultimate redemption with the coming of MOSHIACH NOW!
S
Sounds like the person meant no harm. Maybe trying to say he didn’t know anyione in the person’s family. Good to have a sense of humor in such situations.
Mushkie
Making a mountain from an ant hill because of a chip on shoulder and missed taking the morning chill pill. Really? A bit over sensitive, no?
Anonymous
when they ask every other person by the table what there name is and how they know there family, then they turn to you infront of everyone and tell you “hey your the only person here i dont know'” i think we can all agree that, that is singling someone out and can feel pretty degrading.
Mushkie
“hey you’re the only person here I don’t know” would be slung at an FFB from an unknown Litvish or other chassidic family (e.g. Breslov) and it WOULDN”T be said to a BT from a famous family (like a child of Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, Billy Joel, Larry King).It has NOTHING to do with being a BT but everything to do with being from a family/background that the host can’t apply “Jewish Geography!!!!!!!!!
anonymous
1. its still not a nice thing to say. 2. if it has nothing to do with BT or FFB then why in lubavitch which is “the most welcoming of any jewish backround” are there such comments being made? apparently the guy with tattoos on mivtzoim on the street who is completely fry for whatever reason we smile at him and make him feel at home but a frum yid who is “not gezh” we have no problem pointing itout
As a young women from BT parents myself
I can already see responses from FFBs. Question I would love to ask them is: are YOU jewish?
My reply to the author is: expect to encounter those situations amongst the FFB. It goes even worse then that sometimes. What I could recommend as from experience with “them” is REMEMBER they are human (or some of them inhuman) but you became FRUM because for HASHEM and His Torah and our REBBE!
Anonymous
Maybe, but this sentiment is felt by many from BT families. We have a culture which puts great emphasis on stories of the eltere chassidim. Those with yochus are proud to point it out. It doesn’t hurt to be mindful that there are people within our community who feel like they don’t fit in as well without the Lubavitch yichus.
Ari
As a BT of 30 years and now a shaliach, totally relate to this.
For years I would go to shluchim -including those who were mekarev me and all good people – and they’d sit around the shabbos or yomtov table and all everyone ever discussed was family, connections, who was related to whom.
I always felt very left out.
It is something to be aware of.