OP-ED: Is It Time To Speak Openly About Summer Camps?
by Rabbi Gershon Avtzon, Cincinnati, Ohio
A frelichen Chanuka and good Chodesh! I know that it is still in the middle of the winter, but this is the time that parents begin thinking about, and quickly registering, into various overnight camps. While there is much to write about the whole registration process, the anxieties of waiting for answers and the exorbitant cost of camps, it will not be the focus of this article.
We are all aware, and many of us have personally experienced, the profound positive effects that a camp can have on a child. The child is in a loving and warm atmosphere twenty-four hours a day and many times receiving the attention that they may not receive in school (or at home). There is a reason that our holy Rebbe declared camp as the place that produces Chassidim.
Notwithstanding the above; As a parent, educator and and after spending close to fifteen years as a camp Rabbi in an excellent and mainstream chabad overnight camp, I would like to bring something important to your attention: The lack of proper – on the grounds – Chinuch guidance in overnight camps, that (can) have detrimental effects on the future of your child.
The heroes of camp are the overworked, and underpaid (staff and) headstaff. They work tirelessly before the summer to hire the staff and create the best program for the campers that will be under their care. They need to deal with young, and inexperienced, staff members and the multiple issues that arise between programs, between staff themselves and between the campers themselves. They are often sleep-deprived, emotionally drained and dealing with hundreds of moving parts all at once.
While their dedication and devotion is admirable, one thing is certain: They do not have the experience (in Chinuch of life),or the right frame of mind, to be making serious Chinuch decisions that can have long-term effects on our children.
Please ask yourself the following question: Would you send your child to a Cheder that is run by a group of young adults that have no true Chinuch experience? How about an out-of-town Cheder, where you do not see your child every day and have no real way to know how they truly are adjusting and coping? If the answer to the above is (as I hope) “No”, then ask yourself the following: Is camp any different?
Many camps have “Camp Rabbis” or a “Vaad Hachinuch”, but instead of being the first, and final, say on a particular Chinuch issue or standard – they end up acting as an advisory board to the head staff. If a head-staff member seeks their opinion or advice, they are helpful and available, but the head staff member does not feel obligated to seek their advice, or oblige by their decisions.
The following are three events that happened last summer, in which I had to get involved, which prompted me to finally write about this important issue. These are just some of the real-life stories that I had gotten involved with, and there are obviously so many more:
- A young girl (Disclaimer: A relative) was sent to a particular overnight camp. She was so excited to spend the summer time with her classmates and friends. When the bunks were divided, she found herself in a totally separate bunk then her entire class. She was told that it is fine and “she will settle and get used to it”. When her mother called to discuss with the head-staff, she (who is an accomplished educator herself) was told that it was her negative attitude that is ruining the summer of her child! The “Vaad Hachinuch” of the camp told the mother that they don’t have the authority to mix into these decision.The girl had a miserable summer and it took much work to help her emotionally prepare for school this year.
- I was with my family in a bungalow colony for a few days last summer to refresh and spend time with my younger children. I received a phone-call from a camp director asking my opinion about expelling a child (from a broken home) from camp. After hearing the details, I felt that with certain guidelines in place the child would be able to stay. I then had to spend a long time (until 2:00am) convincing the head-counselor (whom I personally like very much) to accept the logic of my decision. It was clear to me, and the dedicated director, that the head-counselor had been given too much say and power.
- There was a particular camp play that I watched a video of recently. The play was completely toichen-less and was obviously based on a movie that the writer of the play had seen at some point. When I confronted the camp director about it, I was told that the head-staff were told to consult with the camp Mashpia about their plays. Did they consult? No. Was the play shown anyways? Yes. Would you allow your child to digest food without a proper hechsher? Obviously not.
The bottom line: For the sake of all our children, I ask that all camps employ professional mechanchim in their camps that have real authority. No Chinuch policy (learning curriculum, discipline policies, types of trips and extra-curricular activities) should be allowed to be implemented without their authorization. As parents, we should demand to know the names of these Mechanchim – in advance of our registration – so that we can be assured that the Chinuch decisions of our children are being made thoughtfully, responsibly and with the right Hashkafa.
Certainly the young-adults which are approached to be head-staff should condition their acceptance of the position on there being an active, functional and responsible Vaad Hachinuch. They should realize the responsibility that their position entails as well as their own ovous chinuch limitations.
[While many of us are just grateful to receive an “acceptance” letter from the camp of our choice, I am hoping that at the very least the subject will be brought up to the directors by multiple parents and some movement in the right direction will be made.]
May we all merit to be led by our children – Called “Meshichoi” (“My anointed ones) by Chazal – to greet Moshiach Tzidkeinu!
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below, or by sending me a personal email at: Rabbiavtzon@gmail.com
Anonymous
Agreed!
Many of the head staff are inexperienced and cause much trauma to our children
Yup
And the experienced mechanchim out there cause zero trauma.
Goldberg
There are two sides to every story. You clearly have a very narrow perspective. These young adults you are bashing are running a more professional camp then some of your well established camp institutions. As well being young they have humility to seek advice and work with professionals. It’s interesting that you call yourself a mechanech and yet you jusy made some very broad assumptions.
AH
Did you read the article? Because first of all, there’s no “bashing,” and second of all, the problem is that they don’t always “seek advice,” as in the examples given.
Goldberg
It’s unfortunate that your relative had a difficult summer. But the majority of kids and staff in the camp run by young adults had an amazing experience. And you clearly don’t know these young adults. They put many adults to shame and by far are More capable then most adults running camps. You would be wise to have a conversation with them. You will be pleasantly surprised and blown away.
Mendy
Dear Mr. Goldberg, I do not understand your opposition to this article.
As a parent, I had a child in camp that had a difficult time. I simply reached out to the head staff to change something. After conversing back-and-forth I simply realized that they don’t have experience of parenting etc to deal with it.
Yes they were great at arranging trips but lacked the interpersonal skills needed.
Zalman
Young Head staff may have the experience of arranging trips and bog war…
BUT They are not parents, and naturally they lack the skill to relate to the subtle needs of children.
It appears from your logic that you are pivoting the advantage of young fun head staff with The disadvantage of their inexperienced.
Curious
How does the author know for a fact that the camp play was based on a movie?
Biased
Set aside your personal grievances about camp If you have specific concerns about a particular camp, I recommend contacting the camp directly to address your concerns and ask any questions you may have. It’s always important to do your research and carefully consider all options before making a decision about your child’s summer activities.
Vaad Hachinuch
Beloved Mechanchim,
Dont betray our trust and let camps use your name if you are not really involved.
We as parents assume you are part of the decision making in camp- and not just in name alone.
Wondering
How old were you when you started running your yeshiva?
Everyone’s gotta start somewhere and it sounds like these youngsters are less arrogant than many and know that they’re young and have a chinuch board to ask questions to.
They’re doing their best. If you have a problem, give them feedback. Don’t close them down, we need new moisdos without old people.
No one is trying to close anyone downs
No one is trying to close anyone down- read the article.. He is just asking young head counselors and directors to seek advise and camps have true mechanchim on site and involved
Anonymous
It has to do with the structure of the way that camps are run. In professional camps, they hire a much larger staff that is trained with many scenarios.
Thanks for speaking up
I can list some examples of things that go on in camp that are way worse than this.
1. Kids being shamed on stage as a form of entertainment for night activity
2. Scary traumatic ‘camp stories’
3. Counselors who don’t know how to discipline and use intimidation instead
4. Cruel punishments such as waiting on the cold in pajamas
Maybe camps have changed for the better since I was a kid?
Mushkie
We can learn from the Litvish camps that only hire for head counsellors married rebbeim that work in chinuch. They bring maturity and experience plus professionalism.
The Litvish camps never allow bochurim to be head counsellors or even learning directors. That job requires a married mechanech!!!
The other side
There’s always another side to every story. I have been on the backend of creating groups and bunks for many years. It is impossible to make everybody happy.
There is usually a reason why a girl wasn’t placed with her friends. Unfortunately, sometimes the reason is because the “friends” requested specifically that they don’t want this girl in their bunk.
The other side
sometimes it’s because another bunk needs that one good girl, or for the simple reason that you can only put so many kids in the bunk!
With regard to expelling a child from camp- do you have any idea what it takes for a kid to get that consideration? I can only imagine the level of difficulty the child reached.
If you send your kids to camp-trust their judgment. if you don’t trust, don’t send!
Grateful we left
The pluses of camp outweigh the negatives
Hanging around during the summer esp in CH is boring at best and dangerous at worse. No one can keep active kids busy for 8-10 weeks. My kids love Chabad because of living every day with the Rebbe
Do your research and send your kids to
Camp
Btw. Thank you Haylei Hamelech. !