Letter: Five Thoughts on Death

Following the tragic passing of Shliach Rabbi Moshe Muller, OBM, and another local member of Anash, Rabbi Mendel Gorman, OBM, a wave of sadness and mourning has filled the Lubavitch community of London. Seeking to break through this sorrow and bring light to the subject, Rabbi Levi Sudak of Edgeware, may he live and be well, wrote the following open letter to his fellow Shluchim and Anash in London – and around the world as well:

To my fellow Shluchim, and fellow Members of Anash,
May Hashem be with you.

Sholom uBrocho.

It is without any doubt nor any comparison that this week had been a most difficult one for each and every one of us, and in particular for the members of the family, for the colleagues, and for the Talmidim of Rabbi Dovid Moshe o.h. Muller.

As hard as the effect of the passing of any young person is on the rest of the community, and as much more severe it is when that person is a beloved person, and as how much more difficult that it becomes when that person is truly a goodly and righteous person, which all compound together to make this blow extremely severe.

But, when this comes just six weeks after the passing of another of our finest, also a beloved person, also a very goodly and righteous person, also a person whose life was lived with love and reverence of Hashem, also a person who was totally devoted to the Rebbe and to carrying out his instructions, Rabbi Mendel o.h. Gorman, one could be forgiven for crying out in pain. One could be forgiven for not finding solace or comfort in our everyday experiences of faith.

And these painful events have not come in isolation. As a community, we have in recent years faced a host of other very painful moments, each of which has left a high number of ‘victims’ in its wake.

So, we have each been ‘seeking answers’; we have been looking at each other without any words, hoping that ‘the other’ will have a wise word to say; and, we (may) have been too timid to say anything to that longing face of our friend or neighbour for fear of saying something that is taken by the other with ridicule.

For the sake of promoting discussion by those that can and should, and for the sake of bringing some comfort in the face of this disturbingly painful moment, I will begin the discussion by sharing some of my thoughts with you at this time.

Namely, I will share five thoughts, in no particular order, as they are each interlinked with the other four.

The first is the word that we need to remove from our lexicon, death.

We do not die, animals do.

We transition, we move on; as we write of the Matzeivoh: Niftar – which means ‘departed’. The soul has been departed from the flesh. The soul has been liberated from the body. The soul is free.

As Rabbi Tucaczinski of Yerusholayim wrote in his Sefer Gesher HaChayim, we are born twice! We are born from the womb into this world, and we are born from this world to the next.

The second is the Posuk from Koheless (7:2) that the Rebbe Ziy”a repeatedly referred to during the week of Shiva after the Rebetzen Chaya Mushka: VehaChai Yitein Ell Liboi – the living shall take to heart. The fact that we have been caused by Hashem to experience this ‘event’, is because we are to improve ourselves as a result. Each of these people that have been taken from our midst have lived exemplary lives and touched and improved so many by their shear gentleness and purity. We can and should adopt one of their attributes and improve our own lives, we must improve the manner in which we serve our Master.

The third is a statement of Rabbi Chiya the son of Abba, who gave this over in the name of Rabbi Yochanan (Talmud, Shabbos 105b): When one member of the Congregation passes on, the entire Congregation must be concerned. To which I ask myself, concerned about what? Death is not contagious, disease is.

Our years on earth are predetermined for us by Hashem at the moment of our conception, at that moment He selects our Neshomoh and sends it down to this world, and He promises the Soul that it will be here for exactly so many years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds. And then Hashem promises that He will collect it (see on in point five).

Clearly, the ‘concern’ is not over something negative happening to us, rather it is a reminder that we check ourselves. We owe it to the beloved and departed, and to the good example that he or she led, that we each check ourselves against our ‘moral compass’. And to make sure that we are serving our Creator to the very best of our abilities.

The fourth is on a Posuk that we say on Tisha b’Av in Eicho (3:34): From the Mouth of the Supreme does not come forth anything evil. Whilst there are various translations to this Posuk, Chabad Chassidus, and particularly the Rebbe, teaches us that this is telling us that it is impossible for Hashem to command an evil event to a person or to any thing within His Creation.
Whilst something very sad may appear to us to be harmful and painful, that pain is only temporary. It is upon each of us to do our best to alleviate that temporary pain from our neighbour who is suffering it worse, because we both live and experience on the human plane. Perhaps, we are sharing in the other person’s pain, so that we should know that we must do something about the person that is really suffering.

The fifth and final thought is based on the third Brocho that we recite in the morning Brochos, in which we declare: My G-d, the soul that you gave into me . . . and you will in the future take it from me. We confidently declare that Hashem Himself retrieves the Neshomoh from our body.

Hashem, the King of all Kings, who is so concerned about the entirety of Creation and all of existence, take it upon Himself to personally collect His ‘only child’ and to bring it back to His ‘home’.

Rabbi Yosef Karo, author of the Shulchan Oruch, describes in his Sefer Magid Meishorim, that Hashem waits until the last moment of our life, and appears to the Jew, at that moment the soul can no longer stay in the body, it jumps out of the body, and life that we know comes to an end. The Neshomoh however, lives forever, in Hashem’s embrace.

Can we improve our Middos? Sure!

Should we behave better? Of course!

Are we to be better Chassidim that we are? No question!

But above all, we need to acknowledge that there is a grieving family, who have lost their breadwinner. We must join together and help, not just once during Shiva, because this is a task that will be borne for life.

A fund has been set up for the family to cope with their immediate expenses, but more importantly, to see themselves able to manage for the future. Please visit this page https://www.youcaring.com/the-muller-family-567418 and contribute, not just once, but set up a monthly standing order, or contact Rabbi Aryeh Sufrin at Chabad Lubavitch Centre, Ilford, on 020 8554 1624 to see how you can help the family.

We must acknowledge that a void has resulted, The Niftar’s infrastructure needs to be reinforced so that his colleagues do not become overburdened.

Chabad Lubavitch Centre, Ilford, is now going to have to shoulder the burden of replacing the efforts of Rabbi Muller to the wider community. This is going to add an enormous burden on the finances of the Centre, and they now need our help. Please visit https://www.youcaring.com/the-muller-family-567418 and make a donation, or better yet, set up a monthly standing order, or contact Rabbi Aryeh Sufrin on 020 8554 1624 to see how you can help the Centre.

We must see to it that the Niftar’s students do not suffer, by teaching those that will seek a replacement for their teacher. One of Rabbi Muller’s strengths was in having a volunteer programme. Please call Rabbi Aryeh Sufrin, and ask how YOU can join the volunteer programme to help fill this enormous void to these many Talmidim.

But above all, we must each embrace an especially unique quality that Rabbi Moshe epitomized. He was a Man of Peace, had enormous Ahavas Yisroel for everyone – yes, even people that had annoyed him. His, was a good example, we must carry out a deep introspection.

The Life of a Jew is compared with the Life of the Torah, which is why we light a candle for a person who has passed on; we learn Mishnayos for one that has passed on; we try to make a Siyum on a quantity of learning for one that has passed on.

Rabbi Yehudah HaNossi chose to conclude the Shisho Sidrei Mishnah with a teaching from Rabbi Shimon ben Chalafta: Hakodosh Boruch Hoo did not find for the Jewish People any vessel that could contain His Blessing other than Peace, as the Verse says: Hashem gives Strength to His People, Hashem blesses His People through Peace.

We must begin to stand for Peace. We must foster Peace in our Homes. We must foster Peace in our Workplace. We must foster Peace in our Community. We must become Standard Bearers of Peace. We must remove quarrel from our midst. We must become forbearing and forgiving. And together, we will attract Hashem’s benevolent blessings.

May we all be blessed. May we all be strengthened. May we strengthen one another.

May Hashem bless the souls of Rabbi Moshe and of Rabbi Mendel, and all those others who have ‘gone on’. And, may He bless and protect their families.

May Hashem strengthen us all, and bring us Moshiach, Now.

Bivrocho, Bakol Mikol Kol.
Leivi Sudak
leivi@loe.org.uk, 020 8905 4141, 0794 380 8967

P.S. The process of bereavement is a very long one, it is fused with pangs of loneliness, and at the same time frustration causing the person not to want too much company. An occasional phone call, leaving a voicemail message, text message, or even a little card or note, can go a long way. You do not need to receive a response from the Aveilim. Your message will have done the job by itself.

P.P.S. It is also time for each of us to look at our own personal financial situation, not to leave a situation where our families are not looked after. Areivim are registering now, registration closes on Lag B’Omer, call 020 3137 6575 or email info@areivim.co.uk. Check that you have Life Insurance, and that your Will is up to date, and your Burial Society dues are paid up. The Hanholoh of Beis Lubavitch has commissioned someone to look into Life Insurance Policies for the Shluchim, which will hopefully be presented at the forthcoming Kinus Be”H. Please contact me if you have any positive ideas on 0794 380 8967. May Hashem spare us and our families from any harm; Hamokom Yigdor Pirtzos Amoi Yisroel BeGeuloh HoAmitis VehaShleimoh.

6 Comments

  • Health topics

    The Kinnus should also have health lectures for the shluchim. Preventing heart attacks warning signs and other topics.

  • 2 links

    Both links go the same fund… is one for the family and one for chabad? Should it be a different link?

  • chaim

    Please fellow Shluchem learn again the Shlichus that the Rebbe gave us on Shabbos Parshas Mishpotim 5752 & lets DO IT NOW & not be ashamed of anyone (outside or inside) & then we won’t have to address these things anymore.