73 Comments

• disgusted

  Did your neighbors get HER license plate? Track her down. This is disgusting, same thing happened to me. The only nechamo I can give is that G-d fixes things. I know it’s trite, but it’s only $, at least you & your children are safe. Things can be replaced, people can’t. Neither can midos.

• Hub Rachmones

  Maybe that is what Judaism is all about. Where one can steal and get away with it. Because the Shulchan Orech is old fashioned. To which G-D do these people pray to. Dont they believe that God rules. Well Chasidus explains that the reason you had the damage, is because that is what Hashem wanted. Why that person did it, is another reason. But if not him than it would have come from somewhere else. It doesnt mean that he or she is not responsible. Lets go everybody write your comments and stories you had with other religious people. I am not saying that Goyim are better. But we expect more from “Frum people”. Just wait till my book comes out.

• farce

  You had money to get a brand new minivan, and you “can’t afford to fix it”?

  What a farce!

  (The woman is still wrong and should pay, but still, don’t go around saying that you have no money, when you JUST bought or leased a shiny new minivan!)

• WHAT??????

  BRAND NEW Honda Oddisey and can’t afford to repait a dent???

  C’mon, give me a break!!

• Feel lucky

  Yes she was wrong BUT that is why they have insurance so it won’t burden you with an expense you cannot afford.

  AND buying a new car in NYC especially in CH and parking it on a narrow street like Union and expecting it to stay in pristine condition is having a faith that only a zadick could have.

  Dents and scratches are the logos of CH cars just belucky you still have it with its airbags and wheels intact.

• leib

  not every white person is jewish and you should not believe everything our neighbor tells you

• bangedupcar

  I dont know how bad the damage was to this person, but on the car before the one I had now I came to my car once and it had a massive deep scratch along the door. It was not a key, it was a car scraping against it as someone tried to squish past it or something.

  On the car I have now, both my front and back bumpers are so smashed up. I know it’s a given this happens in NY, but it’s not right or mentchlich. Banging into cars for parkign is not ok, just because people think it is in NY, trust me it’s NOT ok.

• Not Convinced

  Are the goyish neighbors telling the truth, and if so why didn’t the goyim take down her license plate?

• serious???!??!

  You expect to have a car in New York and not get it dented?? WOW…no words.

• Mendy

  I’m all for paying for the damage caused, but what’s with the guilt-inducing “will burden us with an expense we cannot afford” when you admittedly got a “brand new minivan”? If you can’t afford it, why did you buy it?

• Mendel

  What about filing a comprehensive insurance claim? (it will not make your insurance go up at all)

  If you leased or financed the car, it’s a mandatory from the bank.

  If you bought it in cash (and were able to forfeit comprehensive) 1. big mistake 2. please don’t cry poverty if you can afford to buy in cash.

  Put it this way, if this mistake was done by a family member, you would be doing them a big favor with no loss to you….

• Yisroel 1

  You people are unbelievable. Somebody dented another’s car and your rebuking them? This is absurd and insane! Is that your response to every victim and to every perpetrator? If somebody hit another car THEY should pay, not the one who was damaged.

  This is really unbelievable. I’m truly shocked by these comments.

• #3, 4, 10: Typical comments..

  #3,4,10: Typical Crown Heightser comments…. every time I read comments like these I remember why I packed up my stuff and moved away. Why is everybody so nosy and involved in everybody else’s finances, marriages etc. Don’t you have your own issues to worry about? Why jump to conclusions? Car repairs can be very pricey.. And not everybody has the extra room in their budget to cover them. I lease a car because I budgeted properly and couldn’t afford to buy anything but a used car (which in my past experiences usually turned out to be money pits..). So, I can afford my lease, but I don’t have money for extras. it’s also detrimental to claim insurance on every dent and scratch -most people have deductibles and insurance premiums can go up..

• to the author

  your neighbor is a liar, check the camera it was a black person who did this and she is just trying to make the jews look bad

• JJ

  some of the comments here are quite despicable.

  Instead of standing up for justice in the hopes that the person who caused the damage will come forward and take responsibility, the comments seem to vilify the owner of the damaged car and say things like how dare you make sacrifices for your family and buy a new car so that you can have reliable transportation to get to work and to run errands.

  It seems that people are saying the owner of the damaged minivan deserves to have damage because they had the nerve to buy a new car.

  Seriously, is this what we have come to as a community.

  Be ashamed. Be very ashamed.

• CHer

  Author,

  I’m so sorry this happened to you. May it be a kapara. (I’m not the culprit!)

• Arieh

  This woman is required to pay for her damages. And yes, HaKadosh Baruch Hu keeps track of everything (and I mean everything!) [Every nuance of thought, action, etc…]. To deny this is one of the purest forms of Idolatry! And unfortunately many people subscribe to this denial mentality. To the woman who was affected: Please do not despair, in the end everything works out.

• honda

  what a joke!
  Every car in CH get dented sooner or later,
  You cant have a new Honda oddissey in CH ,unless you own a garage
  if you dont have money and knowing how in NY every car gets damaged, why did u buy NEW?
  Woman maybe wanted to leave her number and was in a hurry, maybe this happened to her many times, bc its something commun,therefore she does not realize that she is is responsible
  U r lucky that The guy who smashes cars did not find your minivan yet ,specially Hondas that have a great market for airbags, parts

• Moishie

  To most of the commentors above. WHy arte you going after the owner and NOT the woman who is clearly liable both from a halachic AND legal standpoint!

• to all negative comments

  I see blaming the victim remains popular.

• If you have the exact time it happened,

  look for camera’s in the area, there always are cameras somewhere. Then track her down.
  And to all those comments, about he can afford to fix it, it’s not the point, this woman is liable and should pay for the damages, even if he is a millionaire, it’s nobody’s business, the woman is STILL responsible.

• Typical Crown Heighters

  People living in Crown Heights are starting to take on the habits of Sedom & Amora! They are BLAMING the victim in this case and justifying the criminal!. “You should not have parked your car there. You have money for a new car you can afford to fix it” what’s next? someone getting beaten up and having to pay the aggressor for “blood letting”?

• rachamonni

  To Number 3. That’s not the pobeblem. Who cheres if the person has monney for the mini van. U R WONG!

• leave this poor lady alone!

  WOW!! And then you wonder why Moshiach hasn’t come. I bet all you posters who are bashing the victims are the fahrfrumpte do-gooders who tell everyone what to do and how to live. What hypocrites!

  I’m with the victim on this one. I don’t care if she can or can’t afford the repairs. It’s not your business if she buys new or used. The other driver is an amoral creep.

• Shocked!!!

  Shocked at the comments and reactions!! Or maybe I shouldn’t be actually
  Its becoming the norm on this website, to ridicule, criticise and find fault with; How sad is it!!
  I wish the woman involved here hatzlocha in gutting this put right, and can I adjust say, try and ignore all the negative feedback thats going to be pouring in, as I said, it comes as no surprise, unfortunately

• j ezaqui

  i, for sure, didn’t do it…………from experience, just fix it the best you can aford to….

• Listen, (just for a min:)

  Dearest Fellow Yidden,
  I am the owner of this Honda vehicle. I read all your comments and I can definitely try to understand each one of your directives. Some of you are definitely more intelligent and know how to view the whole picture and some of you don’t. Well here are MORE details to clarify to you all. First of all, I submitted the details of what happened to this website who so kindly put it into a story format and published it for me.
  Second, we saved 10 years for buying a car because with having 5 children and living far from everything in CH we opted to use our money for that.
  We bought new because we did not want to buy a used vehicle which would definitely cost us repairs every year.
  We could not afford to lease one and then relinquish the car after 3 years and shelling out around $16,000 and left with no car. So we financed it and pay a monthly fee.
  We know the woman was Jewish and frum because on the note she put down “bes samech daled”.
  If you are curious, the first digits are 953—–the rest are completely illegible.
  Yes, it’s from Shomayim- we are not angry. BUT IT’S ALSO FROM SHOMAYIM to PAY. Even if we were Millionairs.Even if we can afford it that has nothing to do with HER responsibility.
  According to your ‘girsa’ dont visit the doctor, because if you are sick it’s from Shomayim, dont bother yourself with trying to get well and just accept the illness with love. C’mon open your eyes-just a bit will do lots of good! Eh?
  And you will be totally ashamed to hear that the non Jewish neighbors told me that they did not even think to write down her number too and license plate ‘BECAUSE SHE WAS A JEWISH WOMAN, WE TRUSTED HER THAT SHE WOULD PUT HER NAME AND NUMBER“
  Yes bh noone was injured. That’s totally IRRELEVANT. Noone here is comparing losses c’v.
  ANd yes, if every Honda is damaged ok, we have no problem and we understand in the city it is that way, we are not arguing that. But if you damage, YOU PAY! City, suburb or driveway!
  And if you hit someone you are exempt from payment because ‘its normal to happen in the city??????”
  You really need to have some sense into your understanding of everything around you and open your minds to the truth of what the Torah wants from you and the law.
  (Number 13, you are truly a respectful and knowledgeable individual!-and some others as well:)

  Thanks to you all for listening and taking the time to read this all,
  Gut Shabbos,

• concerned

  If you need a shaister lawyer. Contact Paul Huebner.

• i have a dented minivan too

  hey minivan lady: it’s a kapara. the person who dented your car is going through her own spiritual stuff right now too. just know this is hashgocho protis and move forward. don’t let it upset you too much.

• Dovber Z

  I am amazed that so many people are critical of the person that owns the damaged car. The car being new is not relevant. Someone damaged her property and should pay for the damages. Sadly this and much worse had happened to me. A few years ago, a woman (likely Jewish) hit me with her mini-van and drove off. At first, I thought I was ok and just glad that I was not hurt. The next day I was in the ER with back pain. People need to drive slower and more carefully. Yes, there is a certain amount of nicks and dents you expect to get just living in the city, but that does not make it right.

• to all the jealous people

  The people who are being nasty, get a life. Are you jealous that you don’t have a car? do you not forgin the person with a car? shame on you. Your frumkeit is the same as the person who did not leave her number. I am so surprised at the nastiness of our community. Please think about it and ask forgiveness from the person whose car was damaged and from her for being so nasty and so so so jealous of her car.

• uchh

  ridiculous!!! its just a dent!!!

• Avrahom

  Hi, with the first 3 digits and make of car it is very easy to find the owner. Any police officer can find it in their computer. As well as any car insurance agent

• DaasTorah

  Yeah it sucks. Welcome to owning a car in a densely population city.

• Dont judge

  Maybe he was saving up for years to get a new car. And therefore, no , he cannot afford to pay to fix up because all the money he was saving was for the car, which he needed to get to work ect.

• You people need help!

  Just because someone leased or financed a brand new spanking shiny minivan does not mean they have the extra money for repairs. and if you have a cheaper insurance you have a $1000 deductible out of your pocket. If you dent even a billionaires car u must pay. You people have no clue whats in someone elses pocket.

• A new car? What-s THAT???

  We just got rid of our 19 year old car – sold it for $250. Took out a loan for $2,500 to buy another old car. Yes, we, too, keep on saving, but all it pays for are car repairs, not new cars. We feel bad for the owner of the new van, but feel bad for ourselves too, when we wake the whole neighborhood trying to start our car every morning…dunno what to say…may Hashem be the judge. We just needed to vent.

• don-t worry be happy

  If you can pay for a new car, you can pay to fix it, if you gave a bit more to charity things like this would not happen.

• Pain

  Perhaps she doesn’t have money either.

• mentchlichkeit!!!

  menthlichkeit is what counts!!!! just because someone doesn’t own something does not give him/her the ability to be carefree… one should be responsible for his actions. it is the principal that must not be overlooked, not how much it cost to fix the van!

• Father of van owner-no name

  Whoever answers the negative comments is as big a fool as they are.
  King Solomon

• MMB

  Even if this woman is tracked down or comes forward, she’s not liable to pay any monies. All she needs to do is exchange insurance information. That’s good legally and halachically too.

• Disgusted

  I find the comments more troubling then the damage itself. For whatever reason the lady decided to drive off which itself is a problem, but then to see so many people come out in support of such poor behavior is appalling and shows a certain lack of derech eretz in the community.

  If you can’t afford to pay for your accidents then don’t drive a car!

  It doesn’t really matter that she has insurance because why should her premiums go up and why should she pay a deductible.

• Chana

  So sad that the owner of this van feels she has to even justify to these morons why she can afford a car, new or old. That is not the point. If you damage another person’s property then you must pay for the damages. Period.

• Embarrassed

  I’m so embarrassed that the people who comment here are fellow Lubavitchers. You are the reason so many I know have moved away from Chabad. You have to criticize and attack even the innocent and those who do good.

  My parents bought us a new large passenger van. It was 4 months old having been used exclusively by a manufacturer employee….so they paid a ‘used’ price.
  How do you all make assumptions so easily? How do you know it wasn’t a gift, as mine was. How do you know they didn’t win it in some sweepstakes? Why do you make cheshbonois for others at all? How dare you all assume that one piece of info gives you the right to pass judgement?

• dented

  HELP!!!! I couldn’t bear to read more than the first few of these insane comments. But will say this. When something bad happens to YOU you can say it says in chasidus it was meant to happen! But when something bad happens to someone else you should feel TERRIBLE! and try to help the person if you can (this is the Rebbe’s attitude btw). Secondly, all you big bad minded people, how do you know how he got his nice car. I personally drive a very nice luxury car, yet barely manage to survive on my earnings. Am I rich? I wish, I inherited the car from a well to do relative. What would bug the heck out of me if it happened to me chas vesholom is the fact that the person didn’t and doesn’t have the decency to do the right thing.

• Her Insurance Must Pay.

  Call your insurance agency and say it was a hit and run. Give them as much info so that they can go after her. We did that and it worked. The frum guy who damaged our car had to pay up. Don’t get your hopes up that this lady will come forward. She probably won’t.
  Good Luck. This won’t be the first time this happens to you. This same thing has happened to us twice and we got out car in September!

• This article ia not based on fact

  It is based on the input of parties who were eager to tell a Jew that another Jew damaged his car. Without any proof other than trouble-making slander from a society that time and again has encouraged far worse than damage to a car, you are mighty quick to take their word as Toras Moshe and set the whole slander, bad-mouthing-another-Jew machinery in motion. I don’t believe this article would have been written if you thought a non-Jew was the perpetrator. The fact is, while there are non Jews that have integrity, Crown Heights history would have to encourage any realistic Jew to be very cautious about the intentions of their non-Jewish neighbors. If you find out who actually did the damage and are sure that no third party Added to the damage.. contact the person and take any necessary action. I’m so sorry this story was published at all. I don’t think it’s a constructive or dignified way of resolving the issue.

• #30 -likely Jewish-

  He is sure that the person who dented his car was.. ‘likely Jewish’ (what does that mean?)and that’s a necessary part of his story.

• So sorry

  I was rushing to the newly redone sweet expressions, I heard that the Ice Cream is mamosh a picnic!

  By mistake I hit your car but the store was about to close so I zoomed off to get the Ice cream, I even bought an extra one for you.

  By the time I came back your car was gone.

• Hevei don

  If the person was trying to get away with it they would not have written bs’d identifying themselves as a Jew. There’s a fair chance the person simply has terrible handwriting. I completely empathize with your damaged car but your accusation may have scared the person from ever coming forward. You may have been Dan lkaf zchus and simply posted asking who it was because you can’t read your handwriting…

  I could be wrong just thinking here…

• answer to 3, 4 & 10

  Maybe it was a leased minivan
  A leased minivan
  is Tax deductible
  is cheaper than buying a new car
  must have all the dents and scratches fixed before the end of the lease whereas your own car doesn’t have to have the scrathces and dents fixed

• 3 and 4 and 10

  It’s possible that the company that he works for bought the car for him to use as part of his job and his boss will force him to fix every dent and scratch

• cher

  i do not own a car.i use public transportation to get around but if i would find it necessary to own a car this is what i would do if i would find it necessary to own a car.i would make sure that i have a driveway & park my car there.this is one of the many problems of parking a car on the street.unless you have a garage or driveway it does not pay to own a car unless you have a garage or drivewway.but on the other hand the person that damaged the car should still pay for the damages.

  if i would find it necessary to own a car i would first make sure that i have a driveway or garage to park it there but if i would cause damage to somebodie,s car i would take full resposibility for it.

  you can not park your car at the curb & expect never to have damages done to it but on the other hand if i would do damage to somebodie,s car i would take resposibility for the damage that i caused.this is the way that i look at it.

  cher

• to the commenters

  THE COMMENTS article is a true reflection of the Uncommunity of crown heights… TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELVES IN THE MIRROR! SEE WHAT KIND OF A WORLD YOU ARE CREATING FOR YOUR KIDS.

• Goody goody two shoes no news is

  Were sure it’s a kapparah, so stay out of go-ds business with your customs and “Halacha” !
  Not by law alone does man live……!?!?

• I-m stoopod also !

  The Japanese helped the Germans fight the allies during WWII ,, you most likely voted for Obama !

• Kma

  Shoulda gotten a loan fora rolls Royce ,

• Benny

  I am on shlichus in a small town and one night I backed up into a van and scratched it bumper. I debated if I should leave my info or not as no one was around then I thought to myself I would want the person to leave their info if it would of been my car. So I left my CORRECT info and the person NEVER called. Sometimes all they want is to show you care. Just my opionion

• This is a disgrace of comments

  BH, I dont live in Crown heights!!! All of these negative responses are terrible. If this was your car you would also want the person who hit you to pay for it. Especially if you saved your money to buy something for many years and this happens. she didnt say anything negative, she asked if the person can step forward, thats it!! unbelievable! Sometimes I wonder why I stay Lubavitch after all of this jealousy and hate!

• hmm

  To the owner- a tiny dent, no offense that’s what happens in Brooklyn, move out if you want a pristine car. You are not being realistic.

  But yes she should have left her info, on her part.

• Owner of car To 50

  YUM! where is the ice cream? I wanna come pick it up!

• common sense is not so common

  i never doubted the “crown heights” mentality and its tipshus and this just furthers it. to all those who have tainos on the owner: who do you think you are to judge this family for the purchases they have made? could it be because they saved up,worked day and night, and counted their money carefully to be able to go out and purchase this car? maybe the reason its new is because the cost of repair on a used is always an issue? or maybe a lot of other things took place.. the point is that its shoites like the comments above that make problems by snooping into other peoples business, and getting involved where they should not be. instead of showing this family support, you are attacking him for asking to be compensated for his damages. and if this car was yours? tell me, maybe if someone took a bat to your car, they shouldn’t pay either, because vandalism is so common in new York and you should have expected it to happen anyway! how dare you just assume that he is lying when he says that he has nothing to pay it with….. such shallow tipshus its unbelievable…. a yid reaches out in a shchunah asking only to get what he deserves and this is the response… you who attacked him should be ashamed! what a bushah to lubavitch. and even if he does have money to pay, does that change the fact that this woman is responsible? NO! so what difference does it make????!!!!!! to the owner, I wish you and your family much success and happiness, and chassidishe nachas from your kids.

• grow up

  cmon people, seriously is this what yidishkiet is all about? after reading some of these comments you sound like a bunch of children grow up!!!

• Be responsible

  Hope my story can encourage the person responsible to come forward, which is no easy task. A few years ago, I accidently smashed the passenger side’s mirror. I had no idea who the car belonged to so I left a note. Not too much later, I got a phone call from a lady who was so thankful that I was honest about it. We in the end paid for the damage. What I remember about it was how thankful the person was about honesty. For my part of it, I would feel guilty not leaving the info.

• Meh Its New York

  No one has manners there.

• I leave it up to G-D

  A certain frum person damaged my car in my presence and swore he didn’t do it. I paid $700 to fix it and figured that Hashem will repay me.
  Yes I was angree but the alternative was to arrest him, which I refused to do.

• Not So Simple

  The vehicle that caused the damage should have been honest enough to admit it clearly. However, not knowing who’s minivan it was, you should be aware that many owners would demand an exorbitant amount of money to fix the scratch, tantamount to a new paint job. I hit the rear of a huge SUV which didn’t have any damage (we inspected his bumper and underframe to verify). The owner wanted $4500 “damages” for not reporting the accident to the insurance company, to which I told him that I’d report it and not give him a cent “under the table.”

  So it is very possible that the owner who did the damage was afraid of getting shaken down. Still, the correct thing to do is be honest. You never know what a kiddush Hashem accomplishes…

• Really Bad

  BS“D
  I do feel bad for the owner of the car,& his/her second comment shows him to be an understanding and patient Yid. Hopefully,this plea to the one who knocked his car is posted in a more cental place where more people will see it. Let’s remember that we still (Ad Masai?) live in ”The world of lies“. Nothing is real as we see it.
  Rabbi Manis Friedman in one of his recorded Shiyurim says about judging other people this extreme example of an astounded Yid:
  ”My,I knew he was BAD,but this bad I had no idea“.
  The only one who knows the facts is the one who hit the car(maybe) ,but only H” sees all.

• Karma exists

  Karma exists !

• Yisroel 1

  I have two comments:

  1) The comments criticizing the owner of the minivan are so off the wall that I’m not sure if they’re meant seriously or in humor.
  2) To judge the whole Crown Heights based on posters is the same as being one of these judging posters. People who post are very often just venting and displacing their resentments and lack of happiness, it’s in EVERY community. Wherever you go people have their style of issues, there’s no place without them.
  Don’t judge all people based on the ones that stick out, you end up being just like them.

• Stop the madness

  The lesson here is- never buy a brand new vehicle if you live in the city.Buy used,it comes with dents.

• Oy!

  I find it hard to believe I am reading comments from Jews. Most negative comments sound sarcastic, rude, heartless, mean, ignorant, narrow-minded, distasteful, obnoxious, disrespectful, no rachmonas, or even mean-spirited. What is going on? Do you feel deprived? Have you been treated poorly? Do you use time but not thought or feeling when you daven? Do you drink too much alcohol? Do you eat too much junk? Are you unhappy or frustrated with your circumstances? Are you over- worked? Are you really a chasid/Lubavitch, or are you one in name only? It sounds like the material mentality has taken over the spiritual mentality. How is that Chabad? I’m not officially Chabad, but I read a lot about the Rebbe’s words and the tenets of the basic elements in practice and belief. Not once have I read that crass, unkind communication is the way of the Lubavitche. Not once have I read that unkind or unsupportive communication to a fellow Jew (or any human being) is representative of a people whose desire is to have a close relationship with G-d. Something is not kosher in this market! I am saddened.