74 Comments

• hindy

  how do you know it was a jewish kid?

• halila!

  omg! this is why we’re not supposed to have goyshe babysitters!

• No surprised.

  Don’t blame the goyishe babysitter, blame the parents for leaving their precious yiddishe Neshama with a goy. There is no problem in hiring a babysitter for your child, many women have to work and have no choice, but to save a few bucks (or combine cleaning with babytsitting, or whatever), you are playing with fire. There are plenty of Jewish women who need jobs and would babysit. Don’t think that this doesn’t happen all the time.

• sad but true

  this is not the first time have seen it happen before its really sad

• Henny Chanina

  To “No surprise”
  Thumbs up to you and your outward statement-I couldnt say it any better!
  Henny Chanina

• unfortunately nothing new

  Sadly, I see it all the time. Be it in Lefferts Park or some other local park, or taking kids off the school bus or in the pizza store…
  Besides who knows what they give these kids to eat, some also sing Yoshke songs to the kids,
  and I have VERY VERY VERY OFTEN seen how many of these non-jewish nannies/babysitters sit there together shmoozing with each other or with others taht are not even taking care of other kids, and the kid(s) they are supposed to be watching just sit/s there in the stroller or in the park swing crying or bored out of their mind, and every now and then the kid gets some cheerio or bottle stuffed in their mouth to try and keep them happy or even worse the kid/s get screamed at or roughly handled.
  I cringe every time I see it.
  People need to wake up about this…

• father

  think about this:
  a farshtunkene bottle of milk we cannot drink if there are no yidden overseeing the milking etc…
  and a yiddeshe child we leave with a goy…?!?

• take a look at yourself

  to unfortunately nothing new ive seen alot of frum women neglect their children too!

• mother

  And don’t forget, we worry about leaving valuables (jewelry etc) with a goy, but have no problem leaving our most precious valuables, our children, with a shiksa. Maybe we should lock up our children & leave the diamond ring in full view. As my late father said, it’s only money & it can be replaced.

  To not surprised…very well said.

• AG

  to all of you “screamimg” not to leave your children with a goya….show me 10 frum, jewish women willing to babysit 1-2 kids plus do light housekeeping for 5-7 or even 10 dollars an hour.

  I doubt you will be able to come up with a list of available sitters.

  • Free babysitting

    How many people pay $400 for an esrog and complain about a $10 an hour babysitter. You have to get the goyishe babysitter out of your list of choices. For instance leaving your baby alone is not a choice but that is free. So its not about the money.

• to father

  what a thought!
  you are 100% right!!!

• omg

  DISGUSTING!!!…

• m.r.

  i totally agree with “father” if we are so careful about only eating things if someone jewish inspected it. how can we leave our children in goyishe hands? jewish people should only have jewish babysitters!!!!!!!

• awacs

  I’m horrified. When my wife gave birth (and we needed night help) I searched up and down for Jewish night nurses, and paid a fortune for some nice ladies from BP, with all my friends telling me what a meshugeneh I was for doing so.

  Wow. Shudder.

• The scary reality of today-s life.

  First, we have to rethink ALL of our priorities.

  As a teacher for many years in one of our local schools, I see way too many mothers going to work and/or to school in order to provide their children (and, let’s not kid ourselves – themselves) with an unneccesarily lavish lifestyle.

  The pressure to have, to wear, to drive, to vacation, to decorate, etc., ad nauseum and ad exhaustion convinces families to hire cheap labor in order to work to support a lifestyle which has become ridiculously extravagant. Unless we can rethink and change our priorities, it is impossible to expect people to understand what they are sacrificing for a new and better__________.

  But maybe we can brainstorm some ways to protect our children using the ideas that the Shulchan Aruch gave us to safeguard our children, including unexpected checking up on our babysitters and sending friends or relatives into our homes at odd times or to the park to see what is going on.

  Unfortunately, while a few families may read these posts and rethink their priorities and babysitting options, the reality is that most cannot fully understand the repercussions of what they are doing nor envision a serious lifestyle change. So let’s come up with some viable and realistic options.

• dee dee

  does a goy have yiras shomaim? why in the world do you think a goy would care to be as careful with kashrus or with the chinuch of a child as much as you would?

• A Mexican Macho

  Mothers need to be Women and is time for Mens to really show why we deserve pants. It’s true tons of this women have to provide for their family to make sure their Wise and Holy husbands are wearing their hat and kappotah davening late and farbrengen all night because of their fervor to Tora and chassidus, Shameless people get a JOB and provide for your family and have your wife cleaning and watching the children. In other countries we call this exploiting and abusing our beloved wifes that Hashem trust for us not to your neighbor , forget about wealthy givers they are BK. Have dignity and open your eyes no goy cares for your well being is a challenge for them to show that jew is no different.
  Create jobs and stop to save you 5 to 7 bucks otherwise you don’t believe that parnosso comes from Hashem, the chinuch of your child and your kosher food is on Hashem account just tell him where to deposit and he will…..
  Love

• chaim

  keep your neshomos that were chotev MTACHAS KISAY HAKOVOD in hands of yidin and with we should be zocheh to the geulah when evrysingle person will have 2800 servants

• Careful

  Besides the RUCHNIYUS proplems
  There are many safty problems leaving chirldren with Goshe babysiters

  1- There have been cases intentioly hurt or even kidnap the kid (many of them you dont have their ID or adderesses)

  2- Some of them are Irresponsible and dont care much about the kids

  much more problems

• Let-s try not to judge each other!!!!

  To nothing new:
  “Al tadin et chavercha ad shetagia limkoma” – if you would like to impart advice because YOU CARE about the yiddishe neshama of this child (and others) it would be nice to do so without placing blame, or using a “holier than thou” tone. Suggest something concrete and be “dan l’kaf zchut”.
  The teachers did it right: Informed without judging.
  We all make mistakes and all have a lot to learn. The Bais Hamikdash was destroyed because of sinat chinam – not eating treif or dressing in a non-tznius manner. We weren’t told which mitzvah is more important, so we have to try our best to keep all. Some excel in one and not the other, therefore, we should try to be encouraging and positively help our neighbors and friends bgu”r.
  To the scary reality: You wrote that you teach. I imagine that is working out of the home. If you were in the position to work without being concerned about leaving children at home, lucky you.
  Your ideas are good ones – not to aspire for too much gashmius. Remember, though, that America still worships the green dollar, including the difference of attention paid to the student whose parents pay full tuition, give lavish gifts, etc. The gorgeous l’chaims, overcrowded weddings (you pay the caterer per person), expensive shabbos clothing for young children, etc., can all be cut back on, but it’s much easier to do that as a community vs. an individual. Furthermore, some mothers are bringing in income needed to pay tuition and other basic expenses.

• Sad story

  This is nothing new. I have heard these sort of stories first hand from yidden who have left their children with non-Jewish babysitters. I know that they are cheaper than hiring yidden but would you rather have your children eating treif or paying a few more dollars to protect their neshomas.

• Laura

  Before generalizing and casting aspersions on all gentile baby sitters, please take a moment to consider the heroic and selfless acts of Sandra who, less than a year ago, risked her life to save Moshe in the horror in Mumbai. The problem is that parents may not take the time to teach non-jewish baby sitters about kashrut and some may be underpaying their sitters and not treating them with respect and dignity. As for the criticism of mothers going off to work to fund an expensive lifestyle, remember that in many, many families both parents must work to pay for the basics. NYC is a very expensive place to live. Add in tuition and very few families can make do on one salary. And yes, husbands not getting the training and education to get high paying jobs can also be a problem.

• I CAN I MPROVE THE WORLD

  the kosher story is long and the stories of moshe rabeinu and Reb avrohom abush and reb meir could pick a cow as a child and butchers and schochets testing each other
  food and drink are to give a person life and strength to live a good life beinei elokim vadom
  the distinction of the seprations and connections of life are the work of the father the mother and the torah
  so if there are to MANY HECHSHERS IT MEANS THE KOSHER BUSINESS ISNT THAT CONNECTED

• Be careful!!!!!!

  One of my employees once felt unwell and left work early. She arrived home to find the non Jewish babysitter reading the new testament from a bible, to her one year old child.

• mn

  “As a teacher for many years in one of our local schools, I see way too many mothers going to work and/or to school in order to provide their children (and, let’s not kid ourselves – themselves) with an unneccesarily lavish lifestyle”

  as a teacher, I’m sure you’d like to get paid.

  many mothers who work do so just so they can pay their tuition bills, not for any ‘unncecessary’ things.

• awacs

  As discussed with a Shomrim guy today, if see something like this, CALL SHOMRIM – at the very least, they can identify the child, and (G-d forbid) if the child is missing, they can reunite him/her with the parents.

• Adverse effects

  I have once seen an African American nanny sit on a bench of a local church here in CH, singing Christian hymns to the little Jewish child in her care. When I spoke to the child’s parents about this, the both claimed that the child is young and does’nt understand anyways. Today, this child is a 14 year old girl, with an African American boyfriend… Is she still too little to understand? …

• awacs

  AG said:

  “to all of you “screamimg” not to leave your children with a goya….show me 10 frum, jewish women willing to babysit 1-2 kids plus do light housekeeping for 5-7 or even 10 dollars an hour.”

  And, if it costs more, isn’t it worth it?

  You wouldn’t leave your CAR with one of these people, and you can always get a new car – can’t get a new kid (at least, not always), can you?

  I think the best solution (for those who can’t/won’t handle on their own) is to hire TWO ppl: the goya to do the dishes, and the babysitter to watch the kid. This is a good idea anyway (apart from religious considerations) as it’s often too much for a $7/hour goya to do.

  We pay our goya $10, and child care is NOT part of her duties.

• TZIVIA PEKKAR. [CROWN HEIGHTS].

  As a babysitter in Crown Heights for more than twenty years, I have seen this happen many, many times, that goyishe baby sitters are giving treife food to our prescious Yiddishe Kinderlach, even the non frum Russian Jewish baby sitters that I have met in the streets are feeding your children with triefe cookies, and leaving your children unattended outside stores whilst shopping. So my suggestion is, keep the goyim for cleaning only, and the frum Yiddishe Bubby’s for babysitting. Aren’t your Kinderlach worth a dollar or two an hour more to pay a Yiddishe babysitter, and to know that your children are being cared for with Chinuk.

• From My Experience

  I once had a cleaning lady/babysitter who came home from the park and told me she gave my toddler some doritos.

  Another cleaning lady/babysitter I had convinced me that she could not eat the food in my house since she was on a special diet, so she would bring her own food and eat it out of her own container inside a shopping bag with a plastic fork and wash her hands in the bathroom after. After some time, it dawned on me…would I let someone come into my house with their McDonalds cheeseburger at eat it at my table? No way! So I told her she can no longer do so. She stopped working for us and ever since it has been eating me up (no pun intended) inside. What if she fed some to my baby when I wasn’t home? what if she spritzed it on my table, poured it down my sink? what if she had no utensils and “borrowed” mine? I have since kashered all my cutlery but it plagues me all the time…she actually called me to ask if I needed someone (which I did) and I told her no because I cannot live down that I let someone bring treif near my children and my kosher home.

  Also, at the time that she worked for me, I had a lot of questions about what food she could prepare for my baby to eat. Could she warm up frozen food in the toaster, boil up water, prepare oatmeal? My point is, there should be a class detailing what is/is not allowed when hiring goyishe help. Too many people do it to ignore it and make believe it isn’t happening. What you are all suggesting is very nice and all but its not PRACTICAL. Frum babysitters are hard to come by and extremely expensive. The only realistic approach is having rabbonim set up gedarim or simply explain to us what needs to be done al pi halacha to safeguard ourselves.

• AshMan

  AG is right. Can you find *frum* women to do this work for the going rate? And it’s not a matter of extravagance; does the husband’s pay even cover rent, tuition, and groceries? Let alone utilities, tzedoko, and saving for retirement? It costs a lot to be frum, and Brooklyn is one of the most expensive places to live.

  AG: “to all of you “screamimg” not to leave your children with a goya….show me 10 frum, jewish women willing to babysit 1-2 kids plus do light housekeeping for 5-7 or even 10 dollars an hour.”

• Concerned Parent

  This behavior by parents is showing up in the behavior of thier children and breaks a precious bond between parent and child.

• very happy with my non jewish babysitter

  This why its important to have planty of food in the house for your babysitter or cleaning lady, so they dont have to go and buy take out.
  I have seen many loving and wonderful non-jewish babysitters.

• CH Shiksa

  I’m a CH shiksa and as a teen, I babysat for a Jewish family and kept their children to their kosher diet which was made even more strict due to food allergies.

  Don’t base the actions of one person on a whole group. The babysitter is clearly insensitive, immature, reckless and should be fired.

  To “mother”: Theft is not a Goy vs. Jew issue, it happens to everybody. You should to get out more.

• You get what you give

  $5-$7 an hour? Is that all your kids are worth to you? How sad.

• hunh?

  “A Mexican Macho wrote: …”

  English much?

• TOTALLY ABSURD!

  i bet no parent would leave that goyoh with her diamond ring or gold neckalace. so why in the world would you leave your most preicous child with a stranger a goyoh, i saw countless times things like this happening, plus i even saw a goyoh hit a child, and you know what i heard once i told the parent, they said he probably deserved it.
  it is absurd that we cant eat bishul akum, we can drink cholov akum, we cant eat pas akum, but to have akum mechanech and raise them at a precious age, TOTALLY ABSURD!

• Anonymous

  All the complaining and ethnic this and ethnic that doesn’t accomplish anything. You want solutions?

  1. Instead of buying your precious jewelry, invest that money into getting a quality babysitter through a reputable agency or stay home and do it yourself.

  2. Go through the dietary needs carefully with the babysitter and don’t stop at being kosher – cut out sugary snacks because if your kid is eating junk food, they’re not going to be obedient.

  3. Get a nanny cam – indoor cameras installed so you can watch from work.

  4. Give a list of what the child should eat that day. If you don’t see the amount of food going down, then something isn’t right.

  5. STOP comparing children with jewelry! Your precious jewels are just rocks with man-made value. I also know of two frummies who knowingly supplied non-kosher foods at a kosher event. Frummies are not without fault, people.

• AINE MISHPOCHA

  The Bnos Menachem teacher who notified this website should be praised for caring enough to get involved !! Perhaps if we looked out for EACH OTHER in a more open way, those babysitters that are not careful by nature would have some “yirah” – at least in public places !!

• awacs

  “Before generalizing and casting aspersions on all gentile baby sitters, please take a moment to consider the heroic and selfless acts of Sandra who, less than a year ago, risked her life to save Moshe in the horror in Mumbai.”

  Yes, but you’re missing the point.

  It isn’t that non-Jews are evil, or morally inferior, or anything like that. (Maybe they are, or maybe they aren’t – I don’t know – but that’s not relevant to the discussion here.) It’s that they are incapable – either because of biology (one view) or because of lack of experience and training – of enforcing our moral values. They just don’t have our priorities.

  The babysitter in the story can’t drive a tractor-trailer, either – you wouldn’t trust her with an 18 wheeler just because there was a story somewhere where a lady heroically stopped a truck, right?

• Playgroup Morah

  I have worked outside the home over the years & never have I hired a non-Jew to babysit for my kids. Is it really so difficult to take your child to the home of one of the many CH women who babysit in their homes? Yes, they don’t get individual attention, but you can be sure they won’t be fed treif or have the bible read to them.

• let me shed some light

  The issue is not good vs bad babysitters. A non Jewish babysitter can truly be a good and upstanding individual. But they do not realize the spiritual implications of traife food. And they are not to blame for that – they dont understand Yiddishkeit and its ramifications.
  Therefore, Jewish babysitters are the answer. And yes they cost more. But there are options of sharing sitters, etc.
  To all those putting down these mothers: ppl work very hard these days to pay for the basics, no luxuries included. Yes, an extra few dollars for the Jewish sitter is worth it (so stop accusing them of not caring enough about their kids ) but an extra few dollars is sometimes more money than ppl can afford – because they are struggling to just live and cover expenses. Be nice. MOthers care about their children.

• saw something

  I once saw a child recieve traif gum from her spanish babysitter and I asked my friend if I should call and tell the mother and my friend told me to mind my own business. also I am a teacher and a couple of times one of my students came in with traif and when I told the Mother she just brushed it off saying “no she has been with me many years she knows better” I know what I took away from that child.

• CH Mom

  To Ashman:
  You write: “does the husband’s pay even cover rent, tuition, and groceries? Let alone utilities, tzedoko, and saving for retirement?”
  The problem of husbands (especially in our community) not earning enough for basics is a real issue. However, some food for thought:
  About saving for Tzedakah and retirement: Tzedokah begins at home!!!! Your responsibility to give tzedakah comes after your responsibility for your children’s chinuch. And about retirement funds, yes, it’s important – but where are your priorities?!!!!! Can one possibly have menuchas hanefesh in retirement with the knowledge that their children may have been eating treif as they earned their nest egg?!!!!!!

• miriam

  When people are calling me and they ask me for a babysitter I tell them straight I don’t do babysitters and they get mad at me but this is the answer…unless I know the person very well I would not let them babysit and even If I know them you have to be watchful,especially if you don’t speak the language.Once I found a hispanic woman on a shabbos sitting with a jewish baby in a stroller on the lefferts park and i asked her,with whom do you work for?,and she had no clue of the name of the baby or the name of the family and she couldn’t even remember the address,and unfortunately I see it quite often,I spend hours on the phone telling woman why they shouldn’t hire them as babysitters until they finally realized.
  There are plenty of good amazing help out there,it is just a matter of taking the time and effort to look for the right resources and find exactly what you need.PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH WHOM YOU BRING IN TO YOUR HOUSE!,THEY MUST BRING YOU A DOCUMENT OR SOME PAPERS,YOU MUST KNOW THERE FULL NAME AND ADDRESS AND HAVE A COPY OF THEM FOR YOUR OWN SECURITY.THIS IS NOT A JOKE AND WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT THIS SITUATION SHOULD GET UNDER CONTROL.

  thank you so much CH.INFO for posting this real situation .

• happy

  and the cleaning lady mixing dairy with meat stuff or useing your stuff to eat her traif in you house is better.that life what are you going to do hashem made life hard you got to work hard i got no time to clean my toilets.

• awacs

  We have, lo aleiynu, a record number of kids going off the derech.(I daven at A.L.I.Y.A. so I see the tip of the iceberg.) We also have a growing Tznius problem, amongst us.

  Now, we’ll never know – until after 120 – what the cause is, but doesn’t it behoove us to be as careful as we can, in every way we can? This (proper babysitters) would seem to be an important factor in the development of the child – and the Rebbe told us time and time again how important the child’s formative years are – and shouldn’t we do our best in this field?

• they-re not all bad!

  I have had non-Jewish workers from the city for years. I have always trained them well enuf so that they do not feed or read non-Jewish things to my son. If I didn’t trust them even a little, I got a new one immediately – no cameras or spying to give them a chance to do wrong! One of them was looking for a snack for my son when he was small @ Koshertown & asked Shimmy if it had the right hecksher. Shimmy asked her if she was suddenly Jewish now & she told him it was for my son & she just wanted to be sure to only give him the right thing. You can trust some non-Jews, if you train them right – and if their job depends on it!

• grandmother

  There have been numerous books and articles written about what non-Jewish domestic help is allowed to do. Rabbonim have already addressed this issue several times. I personally stayed home with my children because of one incident where a non-Jewish babysitter who watched my child for only an hour fed him a cholav akum cookie. She thought it was kosher because it had an OU-d but did not realize that we don’t hold by it. There were no Jewish babysitters in that community.
  Every family must try to do what they can to get their children frum caretakers but we also must not judge those who must rely on non-Jews because they don’t make enough to afford Jewish babysitters.

• WHO SAYS IT WAS TREIF?

  WHO TOLD YOU IT WAS HER FOOD AND NOT SOMETHING THE MOTHER PREPARED??????????

• The scary reality of.. life responds

  I did not return to teaching until my children were all in school. When my children were younger, I was a stay at home mom and we managed, more or less. And I realize that the basic lifestyle of today is more expensive than it was in my day. I am definitely not questioning those who must work to pay for necessities, but so many people do manage with all of the government benefits if they only have the one income that it isn’t worth it to have a second income. And so people should carefully make a cheshbon if they will come out ahead in the first place. Don’t forget all of the meals from take-out, extra clothing, more cleaning help, shortcut foods, and the effects of exhaustion add up, too.

  If you read my entire article, my point was actually that since we are living with the reality of goyishe help, let’s figure out ways to go to work, provide for our kids and not endanger their neshomas, chas v’shalom at the same time. Can we organize groups of babysitting, or as I suggested before, make sure to follow the Shulchan Aruch and see that someone “pops in” on a regular basis to provide proper shmira?

  Halevai people should be able to change over the mind set of our world. In lieu of that, let’s try to work with the matzev that we have. Hatzlacha Raba to all who are trying to cope with these challenges. Please remember that your child will not remember how many dresses or pairs of shoes that they had when they were 4 years old. And if your friends judge you by that, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your friendships.

• from the parent of the baby!

  i am utterly disgusted by what my babysitter did- i can not sleep. many thanks to a caring staff at bnos menachem; you have true ahavs yisroel in taking the time to make sure i found ou about this via the internet.to everyone else- i never leave my child with a goy, this was a one time thing, this babysitter usually just cleans. i sent her with lunch , and luch for my child. i trusted this woman to no end, she is aidel, kind, and smart- but the bottom line is that with all my bases covered, and she only taking my baby to the park one or two times since i hired her, this still happened. the lesson is – i will never leave my child with a goy again, unless i absolutely must and the goy is warned and drilled in what she can or can not do, and is told people are watching her.this babysitter/cleaning lady was the most honest and upstanding woman who ever worked for me, but it just goes to show that a goy can never truly be trusted, nor many Jewish babysitters for that matter. children, should be cared for by parents when at all possible. the cleaning lady/ babysitter was fired last night. thank you again bnos menachem. all i can do now is give some extra tzedakkah, and hope others take a lesson from my misfortune!

• stop judging

  to The scary reality of today-s life how can u write something like that. Most mothers go to work to provide the basics for there family and do not have time for the lavish lifestyle that u describe.
  It is sickening what people write and I just stopped reading but AL TODIN ES CHAVERECHA AD SHETAGIA LIMKOMO Learn this phrase which means DON’T JUDGE A PERSON UNTIL YOU ARE IN HIS OR HER PLACE then maybe u will think twice about posting nasty comments that don’t even apply to most people

• ck

  you are arrogant! and racist! Torah says if there is NO other food and the child is hungry he may eat

• a teenager

  we have a cleaning lady i told her maby a million and one times dont mix meat and milk together she told me ok tons of time but i always saw her mixing the pots w/ the sink of milk and dairy dont just assume that ur cleaning help knows the diffrence btw. it keep an eye on her when she washes ur dishes it will take 5 min untile she sees u realy care then she will master the act ..

• Women Need To Work

  What’s wrong with all of you bashing women working do you have any idea what it takes to SURVIVE in Crown Heights not to live the life with out a house with out shopping for fancy clothing well I do and I have 4 kids and I live penny to penny and yes me & my wife work 2 jobs and yes I have a “GOYISHE” nanny and yes I trust her you have to train them properly and you won’t have these problems and these thing can happen anywhere anytime look at all the kashrus story’s if you think that every one should hire a Jewish nanny then why doesn’t any one open a day care like the GOYISHE ones they open at 7:00am to 6:30pm for say $4 to $5 a hour it will never happen you know why because even the day cares that are run under ACS don’t keep to the rules oh and about kashrus start at home first I’m sure if the nanny would have seen it often enough she would have known better

• Mommy

  Unfortunately, today, to have a large family and a functional home, a person needs help. Even the Rebbe encouraged help (I know this personally) and he never mentioned that it had to be Jewish.
  You just have to be savvy.

  Personally I only hire Spanish women b/c I feel they are trustworthy. They usually go to church – which makes them G-d fearing, they are very gentle… Jewish babysitters? Where I live – they are all not religious anyhow, cost 5 times as much, and anyone who pulls up in a french manicure and pedicure with a nicer car than mine… probably – I can’t afford them.

  Problems happen – as I said, you have to be street smart. Advocating tht a woman should not take help b/c of all the hype generated in these responses is extremely irresponsible. The repercusions of a mother not managing, chaos, etc are just not worth it and cause far more psychological damage to a child.

  The reality is women take help not most often not b/c they are rich 5th avenue moms, but b/c they have over 8 children, have to work, need to come home with some sort of paycheck at the end of the day to a quiet, clean happy household. And any extra time? Better to spend it with your child than scrubbing toilets.

  And one last thing – you really never know who is reading these responses. SPEAK NICELY. Tznius ahin tznius aher – those who yell the most – that is a warning flag that tznius starts from the inside – your heart. Be mentchlich and polite when talking about non Jewish people.

• unfair to sitter

  its not the sitters fault how is she to know better!!

• truth teller

  Three things to remember when dealing with goyshe: 1.They can’t be trusted. 2. They can’t be trusted. 3. They can’t be trusted.

• Rifka Drelich

  B’h
  Dear Parents
  I don’t blame the sitter as much as i say it is awake up call to us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  She didn’t want probably to eat by herself in front of the kid and prob doesn’t realize nor appreciate the ramifications of giving trief and it prob was not the first time too.

  Hello, please do not have non Jews watching your kids everything else yes but the neshamas and ultimate achrayos of these children are entrusted in our yiddishe hands not theirs!!!!!!!!!!

• GoyMama

  To “ The Sad Reality…and Women Need to work” Those are good suggestions. To everyone else. It’s not that the sitters are goyishe. It’s that they blatantly disregarded the parents request. Wise Goyishe mamas would not want this kind of sitter either. If the sitter is older than the parent she may fell she knows what is better for the child. If she is a “devout X-ian”, Then she may “love” the child so much she feels the need to “save his soul”(ugh). Please screen them carefully keeping in mind what cultural influences they are coming from (some are better than others) and keep brainstorming for other childcare ideas like the ones mentioned above.

• Food For Thought

  Rather then bashing the women who unfortunately have to work to help pay the high Yeshiva tuitions and high rents we need to pay, we should look at the alternative.

  There are many Frum women in Crown Heights that open their homes during the day for babysitting or playgoup where we can send our kids for a nominal fee. There they can interract with other Frum children, build self esteem, learn some Yiddishkeit, etc.. By doing this, we are investing in our children as well as reinvesting in our owm community.

• Be careful

  On the topic of learning the halochos, for all those who leave a goy in the house to babbysit or just cleaning, you should find out the halochos of your food(specificaly fish and meat),dishes,left in a goys care. It is not so simple.

• Daas Torah @ Bais Medrash Govoha

  People! What is the big deal? Get back to basics – halacha!

  The child is a kotton, and even below the age of chinuch. A Yid cannot feed such a child nevelos but there is no chiyuv n Yidden (aside from the parents) to prevent the child from eating such ‘treif’ foods.

  That is what Torah says – so why are you becoming frummer then Torah and going ballistic over this nothing of an incident? Your hergeshim don’t matter unless they are guided by Halach and Torah. You can’t just follow your hergeshim until you become a ba’al madreyga.
  Besides, everything is min hashomayim, and there must be a cheshbon – maybe these parents need to be mehader more in the kashrus of their home: Pas Yisroel? Bishul Yisroel? Yoshon? Cholov stam?

  If the parents have agmas nefesh, nu, do what all Torah Yidden do – Yifash’pesh b’ma’asov!

• simon says

  Thank you to the Bnos Menachem staff member for being so caring.

• Rochel

  This is why you dont leave your most precious with a GOY. a GOY is a GOY. Would you leave a million dollars with your Shiksa? So dont leave you children with them. I cant speak for you, but my daughters are priceless and i dont leave them with anyone.

• convert

  Reading such generalizations really makes me wonder why I associate with you.

• soul

  The comments on this posting are a chilul Hashem. Feeding the child treif food should not have happened, even frum babysitters may treat your child in a way you might not want them to. Judge each person on their own actions. The overt prejudice is appalling.

• Sarah

  TO: AG $5-7 a that is LESS then the FEDERAL MINIMUM WAGE. I would say $10 maybe resonable for just babysitting. But money should not be the issue. Can you put a price on your children?

• SHULAMIS ADELMAN(JENKELOWITZ)

  YEARS AGO MY DAUGHTER NEEDED AN EYE OPERATION, I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO TAKE MY CLEANING LADY AT NIGHT TO BABYSIT MY NEWBORN SON, ONLY A FEW MONTHS OLD THEN, WHEN I CAME HOME I LOOKED IN ON HIM, PUT ON THE LIGHT AND WAS HORRIFIED AT WHAT I SAW. A CROSS HAD BEEN EMBEDDED IN ON HIS FOREHEAD. I IMMEDIATELY CALLED THE POLICE AND WENT TO THE HOSPITAL WITH HIM. THEY SAY SHE USED DRUGS AND IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS DONE WITH NEEDLES. TO MAKE THIS STORY SHORT, SHE CLAIMED HE FELL ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR AND THE SMALL WHITE TILES CAUSED THIS EFFECT, THE POLICE BECAUSE I DID NOT HAVE ENOUGH INFORMATION ON THIS LADY HAD SOCIAL SERVICES IN OUR HOME FOR WEEKS. THEY SAY SHE GAVE HIM LIKE A SACRIFICE. MY HUSBAND TOOK HIM TO THE REBBE THE NEXT DAY, THE REBBE INSTRUCTED NO ONE SHOULD USE HER AND NOT TO USE A GOY TO BABYSIT AT ANY TIME. SINCE THEN WHEN I SEE GOYIM BABYSITTING OUR CHILDREN IT MAKES ME SICK. WHEN ARE WE ALL GOING TO WAKE UP AND REALIZE WHAT THESE GOYIM ARE REALLY DOING TO OUR CHILDREN. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THE EFFECT IS HAVING ON THEM LATER. I HOPE ALL LEARN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE, NON KOSHER FOOD, MILD FROM WHAT I WENT THROUGH!

• Kreine

  There are Jewish women who need jobs. Why aren’t you hiring them?
  When I was little, my neighbors (Irish-Arab) gave me saltines and said, “you guys are just not allowed to eat sweet”. Being naive, I believed them & ate.
  We can’t watch every moment but we really ought to at least hire a trustworthy babysitter if we believe in the sanctity of neshama and food. You can’t expect someone to abide by kosher rules and you probably never even tested them out. And what about church? that happens too, GF.

• non jewish nanny

  Im very saddened by some of the comments about non jewish nannies.
  I for one am not jewish and i currently care for a beautiful jewish boy. I have and never will give the child treif food and know how to cook in a kosher household. The mother trained me on the kashrut food laws and am very aware of their strong beliefs and i respect that. please dont judge all non jewish nannies in the same category, thats just plane ignorance and racism. I take my job very seriously and find it very insulting, plus nannies and au pairs are very different. nannies SHOULD have the right experience qualifications and documentation, as au pairs have no recognised child qualification.

• TO #9

  UR 1000000% CORREECT – OUR CHILDREN (ESPECIALY WHEN THEYRE YOUNG) ARE TOO SPECIAL & PRECIOUS TO BE LEFT ALONE!! WE SHOULD MAKE SURE THEYRE OK – LIKE WE WORRY ABOUT OUR JEWELERY & MONEY ETC.