Wrong Turn Leads to Connection with Jewish Roots

That must be something Jewish, Ben Hadden thought, recognizing the five-foot-tall golden menorah in front of the brick building from childhood holidays at his grandmother’s house.

The Jewish worship center had been at Hadden’s back each time he turned down Bettis Drive near the end of his running route, so he never saw it. Tired that day last fall, he ran one block too far, bringing him past Chabad of Uptown Houston.

Hadden, who grew up with little exposure to his Jewish heritage, thought about the menorah as he neared his house.

“I’ve been wanting to connect for a while now,” he thought. “Here’s something right around the corner from my place.”

A year later, Hadden is preparing for Saturday, when he will attend his first service for Yom Kippur, or the Day of Atonement. It is the holiest day of the Jewish calendar, marking an end to the Days of Awe that began last week with celebrations of Rosh Hashana, the new year. Jews typically reserve these 10 days for reflecting on the year’s sins and joys, seeking forgiveness for mistakes and planning for “a good and sweet” year. It is a time for Teshuvah, returning to God and beginning anew.

Hadden, wearing a crumpled blue plaid shirt, took a break from his work as a University of Houston graduate student in social psychology to look back on the first year he dedicated to learning his faith. Smiling, he leaned against the table.

“I kind of stumble into things a lot,” Hadden, 25, said.

Parents’ faith

His father was Episcopalian. His Jewish mother became a Southern Baptist. Their Connecticut home, and later the Hillel chapter at the University of Delaware run by lifelong faithful, were not easy places to explore an interest in his heritage.

Hadden recognized the menorah outside Chabad of Uptown because of casual holiday dinners with his grandmother. She did not attend services regularly, or teach him many details of the holidays. Shortly after he moved to Houston in 2011, his grandmother mailed him honey and an apple, a traditional Rosh Hashana treat.

The night after he made a wrong turn on his run, Hadden found a website for Chabad of Uptown and emailed Rabbi Chaim Lazaroff.

“I am looking for a place that would be a good fit for someone in my position – specifically someone who does not know Hebrew and is relatively unversed in Jewish traditions,” he wrote.

Chabad of Uptown is part of a Hasidic movement that focuses on outreach, an intellectual approach to the faith and Orthodox traditions. The worship center near the Galleria puts an emphasis on networking between young professionals.

“The best thing would be to meet personally and go from there,” Lazaroff wrote back the next morning. “When would you like to meet?”

That evening, they sat on couches in the room behind the downstairs synagogue.

Least-observant age

Lazaroff said he meets many Jewish young adults like Hadden. Numerous national surveys have noted the age group is among the least observant.

Chabad of Uptown programs hope to create a connection before it becomes too comfortable to be “Jew-ish” rather than Jewish.

First Rosh Hashana

“Most people don’t change much in that way once they pass the 30-year mark,” Lazaroff said.

Hadden started attending Wednesday dinners and occasional Friday night services with about a dozen others. Lazaroff’s first lessons prepared them for the approaching High Holy Days.

Hadden said he felt overwhelmed by the nearly 100 people at his first Rosh Hashana service last year, but enjoyed learning the meaning behind eating “new fruits” – often pomegranates – that are coming into season, and sought out traditions he recognized, such as apples and honey.

“Now, I understand more about what’s going on,” Hadden said, listing other firsts: celebrating a belated bar mitzvah with a “Star Wars” and “Doctor Who” theme; wrapping his arm and head with the tefillin, a strap connecting two black leather boxes that contain Torah verses; and practicing enough Hebrew to read from the haftarah, religious texts that follow the Torah.

Friday night he begins his first Yom Kippur fast.

“I continue to seek out new things this year,” he said. “New ways I can connect.”