“We need Tznuis role models who look nice, classy and yes ‘with it,'” says a Bnos Menachem mother in this op-ed response after receiving a controversial letter from the school requiring all parents to agree to strict Tznius guidelines, including no long shaitels, dark nail polish, or denim:
Dear Crown Heights Community,
I don’t have a problem with the letter, as I believe a school has the liberty to make any rules they’d like, and they can and should enforce the rules they come up with so that they have credibility.
However, I believe that some people would enjoy a different perspective on this topic, and it is my hope to bring attention to this urgent problem.
We need Tznuis Role Models who look nice, classy and yes “with it.” I want my daughter to “want” to be like me and her teachers. I want my daughter to feel pretty and confident and not to be embarrassed of her mother who looks like a “nerd.”
So how should I dress? In a sheitel that is both elegant , tznuis and beautiful. That is not defined by the ruler but better by the “look.” My sheitel will be long, but not too long, so it fits nicely with my body frame. It will be nicely styled and not look messy. It will not be “attracting” but rather attractive.
My clothes will fit me; they won’t be to loose/big so I don’t resemble a walking garbage bag, nor will they be so tight that one needs “sunglasses” to walk by me. I will make sure to buy clothes with colors, clothes with style, but most importantly – clothes that are tznius (as defined by the Shulchan Aruch). My elbows will be covered even when I lift my hands up, my knees will be covered even when I sit down (this does not require my skirts to be mid-calf, rather, I buy skirts that are not the “pencil” style to achieve this).
My nail polish will be classy, using light colors only, as that is what I feel is Aidel, dignified, and most importantly – beautiful.
I truly want my daughter to proud of her mother who look beautiful and Tznius, and hope that she will then want to continue that path.
A Bnos Menachem Mother