Op-Ed: The Warped Perspective on Tznius
It seems that there has been much written about Tznius over the years and, in most cases, it has to do with skirt length, head covering and various rabbis professing to know the thoughts of G-d. And yet, with all that has been written, so few seem to fully “get” what Tznius is.
I know, that sounds a little disjointed, but if you will bear with me for a moment, you will see what I mean.
The prophet Micha says in Chapter 6: והצנע לכת, עם-אלוהיך, meaning that we are to “walk humbly with your G-d.” In the only usage in TaNaCh of the root צ-נ-ע it is critical to understand what the Navi is telling us in this Pasuk.
Tznius is about a way of life. Tznius is about how we relate to G-d and how we go through this world attempting to emulate his ways. Tznzius is about acting in concert with how Hashem has commanded us to act: humbly and modestly.
Yes, of course, we are to dress in a modest fashion–women AND men. But besides the obvious point of dressing in a modest fashion, the underlying message is that we are not to draw attention to ourselves. By doing so, we not only divert another’s attention, we then shift that person’s attention from his proper purpose in the world: service of Hashem.
Which leads to a very different perspective on tznius. Besides clothing, tznius extends to all that we have. People who throw lavish parties, weddings, Bar and Bat Mitzva celebrations that run into the tens of thousands of dollars –and hundreds of thousands of dollars; the cars that, in some cases, dwarf small boats; clothing that costs months’ salaries–and the list goes on and on–would be hard-pressed to refer to that as an act that is tzanua. A home that is large but is used as a place for constant hachnassat orchim or for Torah events indeed fulfills a purpose; but a home that is massive in order to “keep up with the Jonses” is the antithesis of tznius. When a person lives a lifestyle that is lavish and/or drawing attention to himself, that is not in concert with living a life of tznius.
And then, the inevitable happens: in the face of tragedy or emergency, so many profess to understand how G-d works in this world and blame all natural and unnatural disaster on the length of a woman’s skirt. A tsunami kills thousands? Must be because a woman in Monsey had a skirt too short! A child (G-d forbid) died? Must be that a little hair was sticking out from her sheitel over there in Dimona. And the list goes on and on. People make statements like this and presume to know WHY G-d does anything. And it is wrong to do so because רבות מחשבות בלב איש ועצת ה’ היא תקום. (“Man has many thoughts, but, ultimately, it is the ideas of Hashem that will come to fruition”)
And then there are the so-called Tznius Police in various communities. How about a Bein Adam L’Chavero Police? Or perhaps an Achdus Police? A Lashon Hara Police?
We need to re-think our priorities to help us ALL determine what is a definition of Tznius. Then again, perhaps all we need to do is to live a life based on the words of the Prophet Micha above: והצנע לכת, עם-אלוהיך.
yisroel hamag
Very right Shkoyech!
just explaining
This Rabbi is writing very well however it need a bit of clarification. That one should not be mistaken that he meens that tznius isn’t important rather we need to bring tznius in our etzem way of life their by permeating all aspects of life including our clothing.
agree, but..
it doesn’t mean we should relax on the tznius dress.
for Example: growing up as a kid we were told the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because of lack of Ahavas Yisroel and will be rebuilt when we increase in Ahavas Yisroel,, or the song “just one Shabbos, and we will all be free”,
Bottom line, there are many things that need increased observance, and tznius is on list as well.
well said
Well said, and at the right time too. We don’t want any tznius maniacs killing any woman or girls when they arrive in crown heights this week from shlichus, because she accidentally bought a skirt one size too small from Victorias Secret. (Victorias Secret?! Chas Veshalom!!!) By the way, “tznius patrol”, next time you go about bludgeoning a short skirted woman with an umbrella, remember that you were the one who went scouting for mini skirts, and that you were the one who was deliberately staring at her body, that poking her with a walking stick is a non tznius act in itself, something which I heard happened from a friend. Of course, they definitely should be more tznius, but you don’t go lifnim meshuras hadin to such an extent, and if you do, you simply portray that you are suffering from an inner perversion or retardation. There are many other quieter, more efficient ways to solve such a problem. I didn’t say everyone does this, or even that many do this, I’m just telling those who do, don’t be a sinner and a fool. See a Psychiatrist.
Stay modest!
May we merit the ultimate redemption speedily in OUR days. Amen.
girly girl 1000
just for the record victoria secret doesnt sell skirts
V'es Tzneem Chucma
Some confused writer, even if the roots of a word is the same, the concepts for the usage of the word can differ completely
What he writes about Hatzna Leches has noting to do the importance of Tznius, if you want to make a point do it on its own merits,
There must Be a hidden agenda for this writer to deliberately confuse the logic and the guidelines of Tznius
OUTRAGEOUS
The author is mixing up Issues. Living in a large home or extravagantly is more an issue of Midas Chassidus. Clearly according to Halacha there is no Issur in that type of indulgence. However NOT DRESSING according to Halacha is forbidden, no different than keeping Shabbos or Kashrus. Which also would mean that it’s questionable if one can eat in a home where the women doesn’t abide completely by the laws of Tznius! This is especially important for people who regularly are guests at different homes. Ask your local Rabbi.
author is confused
Rebbe said clearly that our tznius dress impact the safety of yidden in eretz yisroel.
in general every act of a yid can have an effect on a yid across the world- both positive and negative.
he expounds on etzem of tzius but then totally downplays the importance of halacha in dress….doesnt make sense.
Andrea Schonberger
A very interesting article that really defines tznius in all areas of our lives and not just modest dress. I really liked #4’s response–why aren’t there ladies who go in search of men who may be dressed immodestly? It has never occurred to me and probably most women to hunt down men with extremely loose trousers and bop them on the head. Are these men blaming women for their own moral failures or mental issues?
Green
Was it truly necessary to undermine the well-known importance of Tznius as it applies to modest dressing, to bring across the message that Tznius extends beyond it?
It makes the reader question the overall sincerity of the author’s desire to proliferate Tznius.
I agree with #2 but also with #7
Both have good points…
Being tznius mitzad clothing is VERY important, and unfortunately this is a big problem nowadays!!!
But yes, tznius does not only apply to clothing, it includes speech, thought, and actions(machshava dibbur and maaseh) as well as the points included in this article.
Ikar
To me, the most fundamental aspect of tznius is that it’s a personal thing and it’s no one’s business to tell anyone else how they should or shouldn’t act or dress. Unless you’re another’s appointed mashpia, keep your critical, well-meaning, opinion about another’s behavior in shmiras hamitzvos to yourself.
The only mitzvah/tznius police there should be is the mirror.
Find only something positive about another to tell them, or keep your mouth shut and fingers still.
Very impressed
I could not agree more
Answer To Length
Forget about the length of the skirt, just have girls wear loose fitting pants. Knees and ankles will be covered.
Those who know what the Rebbe and ChaZal said re tznius
It seems that those who believe our sages re the positive impact tznius adherence has ones family and community, those ppl don’t seem to struggle as much.
Those who are less aware or less trusting of the literalness of our sages predictions are more inclined to resort to superficial attention as a crutch for underlying self esteem compensation
to # 4
You must be one of those that always have accidents when you wear clothes that’s almost not there. Any woman calling herself shlucho who can make the so called mistake of buying a skirt (in the most risque store possible) that’s girdle tight should not be a shlucho!!!! The fact is (and I am a woman – just a simple one at that, not a fanatical type at all) there is a very large group of women in Crown Heights who walk the streets freely with no one as much as saying anything to them about their shameful prostitute style of dressing. Yes, they wear these shaitelach down to their backsides with everything else uncovered. They would do well to cut off ten inches from their shaitel and ? most likely, not like jews. and this guy sounds totally confused.
Wrong wrong wrong!
Two different issues.
Dressing tznius is halacha and absolutely has an effect on the physical well being of others – vhoyo machanecho kodosh (or else…).
Not living an extravagant lifestyle is midas chasidus and is a PERSONAL goal for each of us to try and achieve.
It is none of my business if you live in a fancy house. It is my business (because it effects me)if you are dressed immodestly.
drayt a kup
A very disjointed article.
His point, although perfectly true, has lead to disastrous results.
It is a first cousin to the famous line “I’m a Jew in my heart”
Just yesterday, a very serious, and Lubavitch appreciating friend said to me ” but in chabad you are much less makpid in most things right? Like tzniuss?”
Growing up, we were told of the excesses of the “hungarians” in BP and Williamsburg. They apparently had chandeliers in the bathrooms etc.
As to his point, that tzniuss is a way of life:
CH (and Chabad in general) was a poor community then, now that we can afford it we have outdone them all in ugly excess.
with the old breed
wow, you guys have “issues”. How about giving up your cell phones for one week so you can clear up your brains and do the right thing.
CH mom
That was an interesting article, and thank you for sharing your opinions. However the Rebbe did stress the importance of Tznius over and over. Even going so far as to say that modesty is our weapon to protect Eretz Yisrael. It is like a fortress. It does protect us all, including the person who chooses to dress/act/speak modestly. He was also not afraid to speak up and tell an young lady or woman, that the next time she comes for a dollar, she should be dressed tzniusdik. It takes A LOT of courage to stand up to someone and say to them, “I’m uncomfortable with what you are wearing. Would you please consider dressing more modestly when you are around me? I’d really appreciate it. Thank you.” Suddenly that person gets labeled a fanatic, just because they were trying to protect themselves from seeing something immodest. That is not right…
Joey
Totally ridiculous article. If you’re a Jew, you follow the rules of Judaism, Halacha, plain and simple. And frankly, the rules say that women have to dress modestly. That may be hard with the pathetic social norms that we see today regarding modesty (or lack thereof) in today’s society, but the minute we start rebranding Jewish laws to fit social norms, we have removed ourselves from Judaism. Facts are facts, and laws are laws. Our laws say we have to dress a certain way; there’s no room to negotiate them to fit what makes sense to us personally. Additionally, Judaism says that the bayis sheini was destroyed because of Sinas chinam, and during the story of Purim because they acted improperly at the feast of achashverosh. How are those instances any different than Jews being punished nowadays because of tznius related aveiras? If you believe in Judaism, you believe in its laws, and they are quite clear in this area: Jewish men and women have to dress modestly. If you don’t like it, don’t bend Judaism to what makes you feel better