Posted to Op-Ed on
by Rabbi Chaim Lazaroff

Letter: As A Father, I Refuse to Babysit

Texas Shliach Rabbi Chaim Lazaroff explains why he refuses to babysit his children, this with his wife Chanie attending the International Kinus Hashluchos this week.

As a father, I strongly feel that it is not my job to babysit. I know, fathers should be involved with their kids, but, babysit? Absolutely not.

Just because my wife, Chanie Lazaroff, has a conference of Chabad Lubavitch Shluchos (Women Emissaries) to attend yearly in NY does not mean I have to be stuck babysitting the kiddos.

OK, I will pack their lunches, take them to school, shuttle them to after-school activities, make dinner and tuck them into bed at night with a nice story. Perhaps it will include potty breaks (or accidents) and cleaning up the messy floor artistically created by an unexpected stomach bug. But, babysit? No way.

Studies have consistently shown that involved fathers create happy, healthy and responsible kids and thereby adults. The effects have been proven in many areas including school grades, emotional health, incarceration and poverty.

The difference of babysitting versus fathering is not only in language semantics, as may be the difference between educating to teaching.

Babysitters can also teach skills. Hey, parents would not get any respite nor would high school kids have pocket change if it were not for babysitters. But, the Hebrew word for education is Chinuch. The etymology of the word connotes dedication as in the word Chanukah. The upbringing of a child goes beyond teaching life skills. A babysitter can skillfully bring a storybook to life. The bonding that a nurturing parent provides goes way beyond the appreciation of a storybook to an appreciation for the provider of life itself.

Babysitting is not a job for a father. For that we hire people when the parents are not available. Fathers take care of their kids and so do the mothers.

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7 Comments

  • A proud mom

    When I attended school at night people always asked me- who is babysitting and I always said “no one” they are home with their father bonding!!! When a parent watches their own child/ren, it should never be called babysitting- that is something you get paid for!!!!

  • WELL SAID!!

    All Fathers should be reading this!!!! it is true, that when FATHERS take an interest in their children, the children grow up to be ,confident,secure,happy and healthy! So all Fathers make an effort to show an interest,talk ,play,study with your shildren and put down your phone!!!

  • well said

    Fantastic! Your wife is a lucky woman.
    Knowing the kids are in good hands will only allow her to enjoy the convention so much more.
    Where were you 20 years ago?