Mrs. Lapine was stabbed to death “al kedush Hashem.” The Rebbe was broken and devastated. But, 19 years later, few leaders showed up to give her honor.
Op-Ed: Where were the Leaders?
Mrs. Lapine was stabbed to death “al kedush Hashem.” The Rebbe was broken and devastated. But, 19 years later, few leaders showed up to give her honor.
Nineteen years ago, on 2 Adar 1, 1992, Crown Heights quaked in horror as the news spread of the barbaric murder of Pesha Leah Lapine, a young woman, wife and mother of four young children. Returning from routine grocery shopping to her home on Lefferts Avenue, she was attacked and stabbed to death in front of one of her children.
The following day, thousands of Chassidic Jews, headed by the Rebbe, escorted her on her final journey. The Rebbe stood on Kingston Avenue for a very long time, long after the coffin had passed, his face expressing profound anguish and deep pain. Upon returning to “770” following the funeral, the Rebbe strongly threw down the “kvort” when he finished washing his hands.
Seven days later, at the end of the Shivah for Mrs. Lapine, Lubavitch trembled as the Rebbe spoke with unforgettable distress about her death and of the orphans she left. The Rebbe spoke of her choice to die “al kidush Hashem,” knowing that someone else would have to raise her children. For a mother,” the Rebbe said,” “this is an even greater mesiras nefesh than giving up her own life.”
The following day, on Friday after Mincha, the Rebbe again devoted a sudden Sicha to Mrs. Lapine. Yet again on Shabbos at the Farbrengen, the Rebbe spoke of her a third time. This tragic murder affected the Rebbe in the profoundest of ways.
A few days later, on 27 Adar 1, the Rebbe suffered a stroke.
19 years later, on the day of her Yartzeit—this past Sunday—the Lapine family completed a Sefer Torah written in her memory and honor. The Torah was completed at the Lapine home, presently on Malbone Street. The Parade then marched to 770, where the Hakafos were performed, followed by a Seudas Mitzva at the Maple St. Shul. These were special moments, engraved with heavenly fire and joy, that will remain etched in the memories of all those of us who attended the celebration.
Thank you Lapine family for giving us the privilege of being part of this extraordinary event. What a beautiful tribute it was to your unforgettable mother and what a demonstration it was of the spark of live, love and commitment that your holy mother—and your father may he be well—inculcated in each and every one of you.
It seemed simply obvious that every capable member of the community, especially those who remember the events of 1992, particularly people of leadership positions in Chabad and in Crown Heights, would feel the urge to be present at such a monumental occasion—honoring the woman, the young mother, killed “al kidush Hashem” in our neighborhood, paying tribute to her memory and showing respect to Mr. Lapine and his four beautiful children.
I was stunned to discover a different, disturbing reality. I looked around at the Seudas Mitzvah and saw a few friends of the Lapine family and a few old neighbors from Lefferts Avenue. The showing at the Parade and Hakofos was not much better. Besides a few noted individuals from the following organizations, there was virtually no representation (at least not mass and conspicuous presentation) of such prominent and important organizations as Agudas Chasidei Chabad, the Beis Din Tzedek of Crown Heights, the Va’ad Hakahal of Crown Heights, Merkaz Le’inyanei Chinuch, Machane Yisroel, Mazkirus, Va’ad Rabanei Lubavitch, Tzeirei Agudas Chabad, the Netzigim of the Shuls, Rabbis and spiritual leaders of Shuls in Crown Heights, Mashpi’im and Roshei Yeshivas of the prominent yeshivas in the neighborhood, etc.
Just for the four orphans who—as the Rebbe predicted—struggled heavily growing up without their mother, we should have all been there. Just to honor a woman, a Ba’alas Teshuva, who was murdered in Crown Heights “al kidush Hashem,” we should have all been present. Just as a gesture to Mr. Lapine who endured so much suffering, we should have all been there. Just to honor a Sefer Torah written for such a special and holy woman, we should have all come out. Just to pay tribute to the Rebbe, who dedicated so much of his heart and soul to this woman and her tragic death, we should have all been present.
But somehow, very very few felt the same.
We know that most of the above-mentioned individuals and organizations were engaged in important work this past Sunday afternoon. They were not preparing for the Super Bowl. I am sure some of them were unaware of the event or were out of town. This is not, heaven forbid, an accusation against any individual or organization. But perhaps at least some of us ought to ask ourselves this question: How have we so profoundly lost our way as to neglect such an occasion, which should have attracted two thousand members of the community and every single rabbinic and organizational leader?
This Op-Ed reflects the views of its author. It does not necessarily reflect the views of CrownHeights.info or its Editors.
Any reader that wishes to make his or her voice heard, on any topic of their desire, is welcome to submit his or her Op-Ed to News@CrownHeights.info.
Concerned Parent
Why did Oholei Torah not end seder hayeshiva early the way that it did for BROINS hachtora?
Please ask Rabbi Shmerel Roitblat he was the one that ended the seder for the hachtora.
Mendy in pain
Wow! What powerful words! How true, where are our sensitivities? Someting that caused the rebbe so much pain!
Sorry
To # 1 you are a profound idiot.
And to the writer … I wish you would gave posted the importance of the event befor Sunday not after
Be a mensche
I agree. Anash has “lost our way”. I think our priorities are all mixed up. A lot of people say we Chabad are better than all other circles of yiddishkeit. its time to open our eyes. Just be a mensche. Be considerate of one another. Mashichist or not, lubavitch or not, black or white,male or female, young or old. Alpine family should be protected and only have revealed good.
to #3
#1 has a very valid point. And Rabbi Jacobson obviously didn’t write about the event BEFORE since it was so obvious to him that everyone would go.
dunno
There was a facebook group about this event but i don’t think everyone new about it… maybe they should have posted fliers or made an announcement on that car that goes around talking on a loudspeaker
number 3 is right.
agree with number 3, keep your mouth shut, or post it before the event next time.
#3
Thats a sorry excuse! To call #1 an idiot, you must understand the idiocy of your comment as well.
Bottom line, CH seems to gather at such events that gain importance or sight of the individuals (sadly). A dedication to such an Aishes Chayil SHOULD have been attributed and given much more attention to before the event, but still no excuse to blame a news site.
sad but true
the harsh reality is that they are not from a ‘big yichus’ family nor are they wealthy therefore people did not feel it important to go…how sad sad sad the people of crown heights are these days because if they would have the ‘last name’ or the money there would have been an enormous crowd! crown heightsers should be ashamed of themselves!!
TO #3
Is that a way to comment on #1? Explain intelligently WHY you are calling him/her a “profound idiot” – and if you can’t explain yourself properly, then YOU are the idiot.
steve
if it was a guy with a million dollars behind his name all the “choshuve” people would be there!! this is life
ceo
you are writing within a holy article of a special woman a”h and her family. Watch your words. If not here, then where.
Everyone can be a mensch sometime
COMMENT #1 WELL PUT!!
To you in # 1 I absolutely agree, very well put!
And to you in #3 the SAIFA is absolutely correct, the RAISHA however leaves me thinking of you being a PROFOUND IDIOT!
SADLY ONLY ONE RABBINIC LEADER SHOWED
INDEED, WHERE WERE THE LEADERS….?
THE ONLY LEADER OF THE COMMUNITY THAT I SAW AT THE LAPINE HOME WAS RABBI OSDOBA.
I THINK IT IS VERY UNFORTUNATE THAT OTHER RABBINIC LEADERS FAILED TO HONOR THE LAPINE FAMILY, MAY THEY KNOW OF ONLY SIMCHAS FROM NOW ON.
chaim
1. what took crown heights 19 years to complete a sefer torah??>
2. we all are at fault, not just the leaders
3. what can we do now?? donate more money>? we all are strapped for tution and shluchim who want are money for the mosdos. Thats why i never showed up, money!!!
4. mazel and bracha to the family
Balance
On the other hand:
A levaya is chesed shel emes, for which all else is dropped to give kovod to the meis. A Sefer Torah written 19 years later is a commemoration of the person, not in memory of the pain felt in the past.
While the hergesh of Rabbi Jacobson is admirable, it remains only that – a hergesh. Halevay he will protest other travesties of leadership in Crown Heights with the same hergesh.
true, but one point...
true, but one point should be mentioned:
it wasn’t that well publicized to everyone
just because you knew about it, doesn’t mean everyone did…
last minute reminders, including on our local websites, would have been helpful….
there are many, many who do not know the story behind this tzadeikes,
had the sichos of the Rebbe about her and the fact that the Rebbe went out to her levaya, been publicized properly BEFORE the event, I think more people would have shown up.
I didn’t even know about any seudas mitzvah that the public was invited to-
the hakofos were very beautiful and emotional, especially since they took place right near where her young sons would stand near our Rebbe…
Either way, more could have been there…
Moshiach NOW!! Ad mosai?????????????
did they invite the rov?
Did R’ Jacobson consider that perhaps these people may not have been personaly invited.
When I made a siyun sefer torah last year I made sure to personally invite all the rabbonim I wated to attend. I even sent a car to pick up one particular rov that couldn’t walk.
Many balei simcha are uncomfortable when a rov shows up uninvited since it can present a problem when it comes to kibudim.
I am sure that R’ jacobson would not have been there had he not been personally invited.
Read the News
The event WAS posted before hand: http://www.crownheights.inf…
Shlome Seldowwitz
Being a proud relative-by-marriage to the wonderful Lapine family, I commend http://www.Crown Heights.info for the extensive coverage of the Hachnosas Sefer Torah. (Though I would have very much appreciated coverage of seudas mitzvah as well…)
I commend also Rabbi Yossi Jacobson for his heartfelt article here (although his father a”h would have been even more fiery).
Perhaps, next year, these leaders and mosdos will correct their past shortcomings on Mrs. Lapine’s next (I think 20th) yahrzeit
Shchunah
To all who were wondering: there was flyers sent to every door in crow heights! i know i got it!
to # 9
I dont think it has at all to do with the name or the yichus, thats not the right way to put it.
Why do you say that?
I personally didnt go and really regret it deeply, but iv’e always heard what a holy women she was… im not @ all thinking about the yichus. It’s too shallow for people to think that way… there were hundreds who heard the way the Rebbe spoke about her.
Im so so sorry that i didnt go, nothing had to do with yichus.
Yesef
Let’s face it;
The crowd was small because she was a BT. Should her last name had been Slonim, Lipsker or Shemtov, it would have been a completely different story.
to # 3
You dont expalin why you think #1 is an idiot. Personally, I think he is right on target.
In regards to your second comments, no Tachanun was said in any of the CH shuls, so everyone knew what was happening.
MOSHIACH NOW!!
so sad..may her neshama have an Aliyah
shventiyaner
It is not too late. All those who were too “busy” to attend should make a point of personally visiting the family and asking mechilleh. It would show that there are still yidn with a Yiddishe neshomeh in this shechuneh. If you missed a shmoneh esreh-wouldn’t you daven an extra shmoneh-esreh at the next davening?The rabbonim should lead by example.
to number 18
every single rav and leader of crown heights got a PERSONAL invitation in the mail, (and stamps are not cheap these days either…)
Think about it
The chances of her family reading these comments should be a good enough reason for everyone to stop bickering over who didnt do this or who didnt do that.
Enough!
Moshiach now!
just wondering
Just wondering if this article was aproved by the family
although the article was straight from the heart there were a few underlying sentences that may not have been as sensitive to the family as could have been
2 were there
#23 is right!
I believe Rav Osdoba and Rabbi Groner were there.
schmelke
it is time to change the words to the nigun “ahsreinu ma tov chelkeinu” to “oy me haya lanu”
Thank you for posting this important article. What an absolute disgrace!
ch chutzpa
crown heights you all have a chutzpa, i knew the second i saw the words“op ed” this would lead to trouble,,,for sure you people would turn this into an argument, but to accuse the family themself of not publisizing enough, or waiting too many years to make the event????? do u think that after such a tragedy occured a single father had time to abandon his children and get a sefer torah campaign going????? does it even occur to you brilliant people how long the family must have been working on this event? do yoou think they didnt spend hundreds of dollars on publicity??? they most certainly did. all the work and time they spent raising this money, and getting everything together you think they forgot to email all teh sites and send out invitations????? wrong again. and for the idiot that didnt get invited to the familys personal seudah, , the lapines are probably in debt now because of this torah, and you wnat they should spend 20 dollars on you who is complaining for a piece of chicken?????? a chutzpa
Chezky
Rabbi, how right you are! This is literally heartbreaking. But we need to look to the future. How sad is it that yyj is the only rabbi who hasn’t sold every bit of his soul to the almighty dollar. Next year byes shmuel the the oasis for authentic chabad will hold a large kiddush inviting the family of course in honor of the 20th yahrtziet. And we will see that the rebbes frustration and pain won’t go to the tubes
what matters
last name matters, $ matters, connections matter
sadly………………
Chaim Tovim
This is indeed sad…
Our Society here in Chabad
The last line is the most poignant indictment of Chabad.
Sad.
Thank you for speaking up.
Donate Now
You can do something!!! The Lapine children raised the money themselves and they are still short. Please feel free to donate more money http://www.pesyaleahtorah.com
Didn-t see you there!
Sorry Rabbi but i didn’t see you dancing, i didn’t see anyone from your shul dancing and i didn’t see any of your family dancing :(
If she came from a Gezhe family...
How different would it be if she came from a Gezhe family or a family with lots of money?
Suddenly all the important / heavy hitters of CH would have found the time to be present.
Shame of Crown Heights!
Messianism...
to #1
Well said.
to #2
What does the pain it caused the Rebbe have to do with it? A Jewish woman was killed – and what concerns you is the Rebbe’s feelings?
Had the Rebbe not expressed his pain – would it be any different?
You guys have to stop thinking of everything in terms of “Rebbe Rebbe Rebbe”.
The Rebbe’s first words were “I’m not here to do the work for you – be your own people and I’ll try to help”.
So stop pinning everything to the Rebbe.
The Rebbe is not the protagonist over here. The Lapines are. Get it straight. (Of course the Rebbe’s pain pains us as his chassidim, but that better be very secondary to the Lapines’ pain and the murder itself, or else you need to check yourself…).
Wanda Ring
To the idiot who called the other idiot an idiot:
You’re an idiot!!!
guilty as charged
mea culpa!!!
so 50% of crown heights did not know about it Highly unlikely!
But were were the other 50%
Unfortunately status does make a difference. Just look back so recently.
We tragically lost a shlicach and a shluchah. Both left behind young chidren ,parents etc.Both were moser nefesh in their shlichus Compare the coverage,during their illness and their passing.
Nobody wants or needs that publicty,so to the families it makes very little difference.
But are we telling our children some people matter more then others.
Mrs. Lapine obviously mattered,the Rebbe let us know thru his pain.
(Mrs. Lapine left a beautiful legacy i.e.her son Avremy ,We hurt ourselves more then we hurt the family when we did not show up to give the due kavod.
May we all show up to greet Moshiach and Mrs Lapine bekorav mamosh
Resident
I did not hear about it! and i do read the sites
i do agree with this article and its upsetting that ppl didnt show
However i do believe ppl did not realize of the importance especially the young
Surely had this article been written before the event alot more ppl wouldve come
stop the yichus and money baloney
I highly doubt that people did not come because of lack of yichus and/or money by the family,
this is an excuse that is used so often-
it is a lame excuse,
it is a baloney excuse,
I have been to several siyum sifrei torah in Crown Heights
made by people from all “backgrounds” and “means”
and in general they are NOT JAMMED packed
this one siyum should have been MUCH more full
for a very simple reason:
The Rebbe, who’s schedule was busier than any of ours, and who’s holy insight and knowledge was far greater than ours, found/made the time to go out for Mrs. Lapine hy“d, and told us that she died by choosing to die ‘al kiddush Hashem’.
Mrs Lapine hy”d gave up her life as a tzadeikess and it is for her kovod and OUR ZECHUS that we should all attend a special event in her name.
At the same time, there are many who did not know WHO this siyum sefer Torah was for. They did not know the story of her passing. The Rebbe’s sichos about her, the fact that the Rebbe went out to her levaya, the fact that the Rebbe kept her sons right near him in shul, probably should have been better publicized BEFORE the event.
This yichus and money baloney has got to stop-stop blaming so much on that, it is such a cheap and untrue excuse in almost all situations…
May Moshiach come right NOW!!!
to #21
Your door is NOT every door in CH.
Because YOU got something, is not a guarantee that others did.
We actually did NOT get ANY flyer about this event,
nor did we usually get any flyers to our door.
We also didn’t get anything brought home from the kids at school…
I was lucky to have seen it posted several days before the event on CH.info
Not everyone checks the local newssites and some only check them every few days, so if they missed the postings the day it was posted, they would not have even seen it…
please think outside your own door
Sadness
#9, the harsh reality is that they are not from a ‘big yichus’ family nor are they wealthy therefore people did not feel it important to go…how sad
The fact is you have a point, However we are as much to blame, we tend to respect people with money or a name, that unfortunately is society, even Rabbonim turn halochos and ignore wrong doings of people with money or a name, so where should we learn from.
The Lapin family deserve better from us, the has come for the Rabbonim to learn from us as they have issues
Why take away her dignity?
Very true articale and this has to be rectified.
Big mistake to put her picture, it takes away her dignity and goes against the reason for what she gave her life.
Practice what you preach!
Dear Rabbi Yosef Jacobson,
Your words regarding the siyum Sefer Torah in honor of Mrs. Lapine took to my heart and I agree with everything you said. There is however something in your article that bothers me.
As far as I know you are the rabbi of Bais Shmuel and a member of han-hu-lu of Chovivay Torah Zal. Besides for these powerful positions you have a tremendous talent to inspire people, as we see from this article.
I have no doubt that had to voiced your concern with your Eser Kochos prior to the event you would have had a major impact on the outcome. As you admit, the first time you showed up was by the seudas mitzvah which perhaps you where personally invited to speak.
What is even more bothersome is that by the siyum, parade and hakafos I did not see a major contingent of your mushpu-im (those who you influence).
Did you express your feelings the day before the siyum at Bais Shmuel? Did you request from you fellow hanhulu members that Zal miss an hour of learning to dance at the parade? Did you stand up in Zal at 2pm when seder ended to encourage bucherim to join hakafos in 770 which continued till the Rabbe’s minyan at 3:15pm? Perhaps you did and no one listened!
I don’t know what you did to encourage participation so I can’t make any direct accusation, but the fact that your Op-ed didn’t mention your efforts to encourage attendance indicates that you could have done better.
If your letter was written as an apology from yourself that included your amazement at the lack of effort by others, I would have no issue. But you seem to excuse yourself by simply showing up to speak at the meal.
To sum it up; besides for being a great inspirational speaker you are one of the most influential leaders in Crown Heights. Take responsibility and make sure you don’t make a similar mistake again.
far away
frar away
Unfortunately, Rabbi J is right. Lets try to put our personal feelings aside, and hear what he is saying without getting defensive. I live far off, in another country, and I knew about the siyum sefer Torah, so although there may have been a handful of people that didnt, I am sure most did.
Rabbi J should have posted this BEFORE the event? Perhaps, but maybe he was SURE that everyone would show up, given the importance of the situation?
Lets learn from our mistakes, a golden opportunity has been missed out on, but lets show the precious Lapine family, that we as a community regret our mistake, feel their pain and want to participate in this beautiful gesture. Perhaps if each one of us make a donation (be it big or small), they will feel that we are truly with them, even if we mistakenly werent present on Sunday.
I just bought a letter…. it took ONE MINUTE
http://www.pesyaleahtorah.c…
(2/10/2011 2:22:12 AM)
SHOW THE LAPINES THAT YOU CARE
Instead of justifying ourselves for our mistake, or just feeling bad and guilty, SHOW THE LAPINE FAMILY THAT YOU CARE AND WANT TO BE A PART OF THIS BEAUTIFUL MITZVAH
BUY A LETTER, it takes a second
http://www.pesyaleahtorah.c…
montgomery st resident
I did not know about it nor did we get a flier. We would have gone. I remember the Levaye and seeing the Rebbe walk on Kingston Ave. It was a tragic and awful day but the whole community was there. May the family only know Simchas.
Right
#9 and #23 Comments right on the money. This is not a holy, righteous community that some want to pretend it is, unless that is you have the right last name, money and are definately not a B.T
Moshiach Now!
A gutta better
The LaPines’ dedication of this Torah in their mother’s honor was a great and holy thing, no matter who or how many people attended.
It is an everlasting zechus for her Neshama and for the entire community.
True, We all should have attended but I am sure that she does not hold it against us.
May this lofty Neshama be given the oppportunity to beg HaShem to finally end this bitter Golus.
Bett Mechilah
I regret not going and hope the family forgives me.
LYR
i was substituting at ULY. i dont know why we didnt attend ….
friend
I was at the Hachnasoses Sefer Torah, the hakafos, and dinner. Mr. LaPine’s face was shining so much-it seemed like looking at the Cohen Gadol (Mr. LaPine is a cohen.).
Maybe the low turnout is also somehow a sign of Moshiach’s coming.
take the life of Pesha Leah to heart
The writer had a good point but I feel it takes away from Pesha Leah and her family.I felt the same way when the community sponsored a crime prevention event on her first yortzeit.It was horribly degrading.
Please- some sensitivity and cavod for this incredible neshama.
enuf with the bt syndrome
why do bts feel so compelled to blame everything in their life on their bt status? it is an overused excuse for everything!!! its time to look passed it- ppl view you the way you view yourself…
Avid col reader
I never thought I would be surprised by comments on col ( since I myself right shocking things sometimes) but this is weird & funny & disturbing all at the same time. A women who is obviously holy & sacred passes away 19 years ago & the way the Rebbe spoke about the tragedy is no secret. To those commentators stating that the leaders should have been reminded & urged to come, is that not the most embarrassing thing you have to say about the leaders. How can they be leaders if they don’t indeed lead? Lets all just do what we need to do. And yes we do have a right to demand more from community leaders & complain when they lower the bar. Always have and always will have that right.
Girl
I don’t feel anyone has any right whatsoever to criticize this article. It was right on spot and the least we can do is apologize and learn from our mistake.
A HUMAN BEING
One has to question much of Jacobson’s article.He himself only showed up because he was either paid to speak or spoke by invitation without pay.The rov (Rabbi Osdoba) was by the actual siyum in the House.Rabbi Groner was by the parade& was photographed holding & dancing with the Torah.They took time out of their schedules to be by the Ikur zachin.Jacobson in typical fashion couldn’t be bothered as many others could not very possibly for some of the above reasons.I myself was by the Hakofos for a while & had to leave. Perhaps if our so called leaders would actually lead & set good examples we would be better off.Where were the Bochurim? why weren’t they allowed or encouraged to attend? Seder supposedly ends @ 2PM THERE WAS PLRNTY OF TIME TO ATTEND THE HAKOFOS WHY DIDN’T THEY? To those who complain they didn’t know no excuse you don’t live a thousand miles away! there were numerous posters flyers spread around the neighborhood put in every shul.It’s all dumb excuses & hindsight which is always 20/20
bon-bon
wow that is so amazing
Not enough publicity
So sorry to read this after the event. Had no idea it occurred. Please publicize all over, fliers in stores, kids schools would gladly distribute, news sites. Did not see anything anywhere about it. Would have def gone!
To #46
Rabbi YY hasn’t been the Rav of Beis Shmuel or a member of Hanhala in Chovevei for a while now.
shvigerx7
I live down the block from the Lapine family and was totally unaware of the event. Never received a flier, did not see it publicized online. I get a lot of fliers left on my porch or thrown in my mail slot, the publicity of this event was greatly lacking. I would’ve definitely walked to my corner to participate had I known about it. I really think that a large part of the community did not know about it.