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Humor: Matza Baking to be Outsourced to India

Jewish Nooz articles are drawn from different sources and most are fictitious. It uses invented names in many of its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The reader should suspend belief for the sake of enjoyment.

New York, NY – Taking its queue from Corporate America, the matza baking industry will be following in the footsteps such mammoth corporations as Dell, Microsoft, and American Express.

Matt Saaven, president of the American Matza Bakeries Association (AMBA) explained the reason behind the move. “Due to the annual rise – no pun intended – in the costs of producing shmura matza, we are forced to find ways to lower our costs. Those savings will, in turn, be passed over – again, no pun intended – to our customers.”

Saaven added that while inflation and rising costs were forcing the price of matza to reach exorbitant heights, Jewish families are only growing, increasing the demand. At the same time, salaries are not being adjusted accordingly.

The massive matza baking plant is currently under construction in the Indian town of Lachmaanya, and will employ a large number of local residents who, otherwise, live in poverty and destitution. Many will be contracted to construct and maintain the enormous plant, while others will be employed as custodians.

Lachmaanya resident Ayteen Minnitz is applauding the move. “I am just glad to finally have a source of steady income to support my family,” he said.

In the United States, however, the move has been met with both praise and caution, dividing both the Jewish community as a whole, as well as couples and families who have differing opinions on the matter.

New York City resident Lois Pryce believes that AMBA is making the right move. “The cost of a pound of matza has become so unaffordable.” she said. “Any move that will bring the prices down is the right move.”

Her husband disagrees.

“It is extremely important that the jobs stay here in the United States, even if it means that the additional cost is coming from the consumer’s pocket,” said her husband, Hy Pryce. “The good news is that the price of matza makes gas look cheap.”

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5 Comments

  • 1. East C.H. Resident wrote:

    I am happy to see Purim is around
    a WHOLE year!
    On a more serious note after the whole
    “balagan” in the local Matza Bakery I believe this is inappropriate.

    A Kosher & freilichen Pesach

  • 2. Shtam a Yid wrote:

    as long as it is title under humerous news it is totally okay in my book. I had a nice laff this morning thanks to you :)

  • 5. Indian Humour wrote:

    Enjoyed every bit of this article. Wish you good luck for your future endeavors.

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