Born again Jews come later in life to Torah observance

Morristown, NJ — Say “born again Christian” and people generally know what you’re talking about. They know you’re referring to people who, while they might have been born into the Christian faith, have since accepted God into their lives in a way they consider both life-altering and life-affirming.

But is there such a thing as a “born again” Jew? Do Jews step back and carefully consider their Jewish practice, life and values? Do they, like many of their Christian neighbors, take the mental, emotional and practical steps to change their lives in search of a deeper meaning and purpose?

The answer is yes, and the term commonly used to describe such Jews is “Baal Teshuva.”

“This is technically a misnomer,” says Rabbi Yaacov Zirkind of Congregation Ahavas Israel of Morristown. “A ‘Baal Teshuva’ is somebody that has transgressed and returned; someone who has stopped observing some or many of the laws in the Torah but has repented and is back on track. It is not someone who is observing laws for the first time.

”When people say ‘Baal Teshuva,’ they’re really talking about ‘tinoke she neeshba,’ literally ‘a baby that was lost,’“ Zirkind says. ”It doesn’t mean these people weren’t raised Jewish. It means that they were raised without learning how to keep the Torah, the mitzvahs (good deeds) and how to live an observant Jewish life.“

Torah observant Jews believe that the 613 laws included in the Torah were written by God himself and given to the Jews at Mount Sinai. While they may ponder the ”whys and wherefores“ of the laws, they never question whether or not they should follow them. Many say that the ”doing precedes the faith.“

”Most of the people who are becoming more observant never had the chance to grow up in a totally Jewish environment where the laws are being observed on a daily basis,“ says Rabbi Avrahom Bechor of Chabad of Randolph. ”No one, regardless of how unobservant they are, is ever thought of as not being Jewish by anyone.“

Bechor stresses that if Jews become Torah observant, they are simply returning to their roots and heritage.

”They’re not ‘born again’ or changing their identity,“ Bechor adds. ”They’re not separating from their past. It’s more like they’re going back to who they really are.“

Robert Lichtman, executive director for The Partnership for Jewish Learning and Life, United Jewish Communities of MetroWest NJ, estimates that the percentage of families who are affiliated with synagogues in Morris County is upward of 60 percent, but feels that the emphasis should be on participation, not affiliation.

”It’s like registering to vote. What’s the use of registering if you’re not going to show up on Election Day? It’s the same thing with synagogue affiliation. How involved congregants are is more important than counting sheer numbers of members.

“Re-embracing Torah observance provides an opportunity for the whole family to enrich their lives,” Lichtman says. “There are also people who are becoming more observant according to their reform or conservative traditions.”

It was only in the last few generations that Jews in such large numbers have become more “secular” and less observant of Torah law. Along with the secularization came the casting off of strict observance of the Sabbath and adherence to the laws of Kashrut or “keeping kosher.”

For thousands of years, following the dietary laws, attending synagogue on a regular basis and strictly observing the Sabbath didn’t make Jews particularly religious, it just made them Jews. Much of that changed in the past few generations as Jews, like other immigrant groups in America, found themselves assimilating, sometimes without realizing it, and sometimes by choice.

“I once heard a Holocaust survivor tell of how he was caught in the concentration camp by a Nazi guard as he put on his tefillin (phylacteries) to pray,” Rabbi Bechor says. “The guard threw him and the tefillin on the ground and said, ‘We will take care of the Jews of Europe. The Arabs will take care of the Jews in the Middle East. The American Jews will take care of themselves.’

”What the guard meant was that Jewish non-observance in America will do as much to compromise our future as any outside enemy. This survivor, like most Jews, feels that we have an obligation to keep our heritage alive and thriving because God requires us to do so.“

Even with the perpetuation of the Jewish people top of mind and deep in heart, many American Jewish adults who grew up in the conservative or reform traditions never even met Torah observant Jews until they moved out of their hometowns or home states and into the larger world.

A change to a ”frum“ (from German: religious) lifestyle is often a product of widening horizons that can occurs during time spent in the Jewish world, perhaps at a Jewish summer camp or on a trip to Israel.

Many young people are exposed to more observant people at colleges and universities that attract a broad spectrum of students and offer courses in Judaic studies. Adults may come to it through additional coursework, travel to Israel, close friends who have become observant, a religious experience or a desire to truly ponder the meaning of life and how to live it.

Shoshana Isenberg of Morristown is one of those people. Raised in Buffalo, N.Y., she lived a culturally Jewish life with her family in the Reform tradition, but does not consider her upbringing observant.

”We observed the laws and mitzvahs that we wanted to observe,“ Isenberg says. ”When I was 12-years old, I read Chaim Potok’s ‘The Chosen’ and realized that there was a whole world out there that I hadn’t been exposed to. In my last year in high school I had a Jewish history seminar, which began to open things up for me.“

As a teen, Isenberg spent time at a reform summer camp in Indiana, which she considers the first time she experienced Judaism as ”something you do rather than something you talk about.“

Isenberg went on to Yale, met her future husband, and together they began looking more seriously into Judaism. They also began calling themselves by their Hebrew names, Shoshana and Moshe, rather than their American names, Susan and Mark.

”At Yale I started really acting on what I’d learned,“ Isenberg says. ”I could no longer use the excuse, ‘Well, this is how I was raised.’ Now it was my life. My very first Shabbat gave me pause as I thought, ‘How will I handle this?’“

She handled it by embracing a Torah observant life since college. Now in her early 40s, she has spent much more of her life as an observant Jew than not. She and her husband enjoy their eight children and busy, rewarding, meaningful lives.

”I feel I was chosen for this role. As Jews, we’re supposed to be ‘the light to the nations,’“ Isenberg says. ”People misinterpret what that and the idea of Jews being ‘The Chosen People’ actually means. It doesn’t mean special; it simply means chosen to be a role model; to bring holiness to others.“

While a stereotype exists and persists that observant women aren’t career-minded and stay at home minding large families, Isenberg belies that assumption. She has a Ph.D. and works what she calls ”three-quarter-time“ in the Pediatric Rehab Department of Children’s Specialized Hospital in Mountainside.

As fulfilled as she is with her life and choices, Isenberg admits that becoming observant can sometimes cause stress within families, as parents or other family members may feel that their own values are being rejected when a loved one becomes frum.

”I try hard to be sensitive to any tension,“ Isenberg says. ”My parents were idealistic, ’60s social worker types. I found more of that idealism being acted upon in the observant community than anywhere else. I also remind my father that those very values he cherishes were a product of the Jewish values that have been passed down to him from generations past.“

At the Randolph Chabad House on a recent Friday afternoon, Abigail Schoenberg, 17, helps Chava Bechor (the rabbi’s wife and local educator) get ready for the Sabbath.

Her new journey to observance began with her work with a blind child at Chabad’s Hebrew School.

”I began learning why we do things and the more I learned the better I felt,“ Schoenberg says. The Randolph High School student can be described as a teen who doesn’t place a priority on fitting in ‘by any means necessary.’”

“Some of the ways people dress and act these days has become socially acceptable just because everybody does it,” Schoenberg says. “The lifestyle I’m seeing here is more like what I want my kids to have someday. It focuses on the right things and on making the right choices.”

Meanwhile, Isenberg thinks back to her own childhood and the path she took long ago in an effort to be a part of something larger than herself.

“On a family vacation when I was 9 years old, I got out of the car in the Canadian Rockies, and saw the beauty around me,” Isenberg says. “ I said, Yup, ‘Hashem (God) is here.’ That was the first step. The rest came naturally.”