Rabbi Dovid Morgenstern, the menahel of the fourth and fifth grades, himself a trained grief counselor, said the yeshiva immediately sought guidance from Chai Lifeline’s bereavement and crisis intervention team, led by Dr. Norman Blumenthal and Mrs. Zahava Farbman.
Blumenthal met that night with administrators and teachers, Rabbi Morgenstern said. The next night “we had a meeting…in the yeshiva for parents specifically of the fourth grade,” though it was open for all who wished to attend.
When school resumed on Tuesday following the snow storm, Dr. Blumenthal, a psychologist, and Mrs. Farbman, a licensed clinical social worker, planned to spend the day at Darchei offering counseling.
Helping classmates cope with tragedy; Flu was the apparent cause of death
When word got out Saturday night of the shocking loss of Levi Yitzchok Wolowick, administrators of Yeshiva Darchei Torah, where he was a fourth grader, had to prepare their staff and their students to deal with his death.
Rabbi Dovid Morgenstern, the menahel of the fourth and fifth grades, himself a trained grief counselor, said the yeshiva immediately sought guidance from Chai Lifeline’s bereavement and crisis intervention team, led by Dr. Norman Blumenthal and Mrs. Zahava Farbman.
Blumenthal met that night with administrators and teachers, Rabbi Morgenstern said. The next night “we had a meeting…in the yeshiva for parents specifically of the fourth grade,” though it was open for all who wished to attend.
When school resumed on Tuesday following the snow storm, Dr. Blumenthal, a psychologist, and Mrs. Farbman, a licensed clinical social worker, planned to spend the day at Darchei offering counseling.
Parents of children who don’t attend that yeshiva but who knew Levi or otherwise learn of his passing should “not fish” for a reaction, Dr. Blumenthal advised.
“Don’t ask kids aggressively ‘are you sure you’re not upset.’ Don’t tell your child how to respond. Respect who your child is and how your child copes, like we would with adults,” he said.
Also, he advised, “don’t give your child more information than they need. Don’t try to explain [Levi’s death] theologically or medically if they’re not asking.”
“There is no normal reaction to an abnormal situation,” Mrs. Farbman said. “Kids, like adults, will react differently. How children will react will also depend, in large part, on their age.”
Preschoolers often act out their feelings in their play. “After the Chanukah Wonderland accident we had kids playing crashes,” she said, “while “school-aged kids are very focused on the facts, the details, what happened, how it happened. They’ll listen to every rumor possible. You want to be as clear as you can on their age level. In their thinking, if they understand how it happened, why it happened, then it won’t happen to them.”
Some children will have a delayed reaction, perhaps a week later.
“Parents should validate whatever they’re seeing,” she said. “Whatever you’re seeing, especially in the first week, is fine and normal.”
Parents often ask if it’s OK to cry in front of their children. Yes, Blumenthal and Farbman both said, but…
“Make sure you as the parent are clear yourself about how you’re reacting,” said Blumenthal. “There’s nothing wrong with being sad or even crying in front of your child as long as you’re in control.”
“A rule of thumb is…if you can cry for a minute and then stop, then it’s OK. It’s OK for children to see their parents cry but if you feel yourself getting hysterical, then walk away,” Farbman advised. “It’s scary for children to see their parents not in control.”
Finally, if you are planning to bring a classmate for a shiva visit, “prepare your child,” said Dr. Blumenthal.
“If they know what they’re going to see they handle it well. Try to paint a picture for them ahead of time. Often children’s fantasies are worse than reality.”
A news release from the Nassau County Dept. of Health said the “presumptive cause of death in a 9-year-old student in Woodmere” is influenza A — the flu. A final confirmation from the medical examiner’s office is not expected before the end of the week, pending laboratory results.
A spokeswoman for the health department, Cynthia Nixon, wouldn’t confirm that the press refers to Levi Yitzchok Wolowick, but no other similar cases are reported.
Just two pediatric deaths have been blamed on the flu in Nassau County since such cases became reportable in 2004. The only other one occurred several weeks ago in Levittown, where a 10-year-old student died.
“There have in the past been [cases of a] very … rapid course of the disease reported to us but more often it takes a normal course where you come down first with a sniffle and runny nose, then you come down with a high fever and aches — and with children you can also have nausea, vomiting and diarrhea,” Nixon said.
She recommended that anyone with symptoms of the flu contact their doctor since medications to treat the flu are available. Flu season runs through May, she noted, so there is still time to be vaccinated. Anyone who has not had a flu shot is advised to see their doctor. Doctors who do not have any more doses of the vaccine can call the Health Dept. she said; the vaccine is still available. While vaccination does not guarantee that someone will not contact the flu, Nixon said vaccination does offer the likelihood of a lighter dose of the flu and more rapid recuperation.
Mussie
Very, very sad. This why if a child is sick parents should never wait for the end of a Yuntiv or Shabbos to seek medical care.
I am not saying this is what happened but it does show how fast a disease can kill.
Hashem protects us and also gives us the wisdom to be vigilante when caring for our most valuable thing our children.
Y, PA-S
I hear the vaccine this year is ineffective, as is the drug Tamiflu (this year’s strain is “almost 100% resistant”). The best treatment is old-fasioned GARLIC- fresh is best. Stay healthy.
Presumptive...
Notice the use of the word presumptive…
confused
why did the original reports say it was sAds? a heart condition?
irrisponsible reporting
to confused, that was thanks to irrisponsible reporting by some other websites. crownheightsinfo didnt report any causes, just a simple boruch dayan emes.
Flu?
ask his mother i don’t think Levi was sick or had any symptoms of the flu….
Someone in the know
as there was no autopsy, it is not possible to know for sure what was the cause….. as someone in the know, I can tell you, he was not Majorly sick, he had a slight fever, for which he took tylenol and WAS AT THE TABLE FRIDAY NIGHT, if he was noticeably sicker than something small, of course his parents would go to a doctor or call the doctor…
please, lets not blame loving grieving parents!
Milhouse
SADS isn’t a diagnosis, it just means “his heart stopped suddenly and we don’t know why”. Remember that EVERY death involves “heart failure”; when you die your heart stops. That’s a description, not a reason.
The same applies to SIDS, which just means “a baby died suddenly and we don’t know why”.
to milhouse
Sudden arrhythmia death syndromes (SADS) are genetic heart conditions that can cause sudden death in young, apparently healthy people. These conditions can be treated and deaths can be prevented. Warning Signs: family history of unexpected, unexplained sudden death; fainting or seizure during exercise, excitement or startle; consistent or unusual chest pain &/or shortness of breath during exercise.
...
to Mussie
How can you say such a thing?
How can you judge?
He was alright the night before… The boy nebach didn’t wake up… he wasnt sick enough to warrant medical help
Be very careful of how you talk and judge others…
TO SOMEONE IN THE KNOW
WELL WRITTEN.
Shmuli
We do not do autopsies and it is therefore impossible to know the cause of death.
I assume that someone decided to use the boys passing in order to push their own agenda (of ensuring that children receive vaccine shots). This is very unfortunate and is disrespectful to the family.
Hamokem Yenachem Eschem Besoch Shaarei Yerusholayim.
Shamed
To Mussie(comment #1): SHAME ON YOU!! How dare you badmouth & place blame on his grieving parents! Your comment is pure conjecture and clearly not based on facts. Please everyone, THINK before you post, this is a very well known & widely read website!
annonomys
the truth is that its no one to judge !!!! its hashem doing .
we should not eaven be giving comments about this situation .
we should let the family grieve .and may hashem soften there hearts and stenghten there emouna ,to beat this ordeal ,so people there are other things to do then to comment .
im only writting this to stop the next person from writting something silly and to give people lashon hara to talk about .baruh dayin emet.thats all should be said.
Me
Is everyone forgetting? Hashem decides how long people will live, and nobody can know for sure why he passed away. Before he came down to this world, Hashem, our G-d, decided that this righteous and precious boy will live for 9 years, and then it will be time for him to leave this world and go straight to Gan Eden (Children are pure and do not sin until they have taken the mitzvot upon themselves at 12/13). He passed away on a shabbos, and that goes even more to show. Nobody is to be blamed. The boy has fulfilled his mission and this is what Hashem wanted.
To Mussie
HOW DARE YOU?!?! Go back to the cave that you crawled out of. The Wolowiks are better parents than you can ever dream to be.
What kind of parents do you have? Apparently not very good ones as they failed to teach you the meaning of tact. Here’s a link that you may want to review: http://dictionary.reference…
One last thing – the Wolowiks vaccinate their children like all good parents do. They also call the doctor and/or hatzolo at any time that they feel that something may be wrong with one of their children. Seriously, you are just as brain dead as the editors of the websites that posted pics of the father as the coffin was being lowered (no disrespect meant to those that are in a vegetative state). I hear that they are doing lobotomies in Africa, you may want to sign up for one.
moishie
I believe Mussie wrote “I am not saying this is what happened”
I do not think Mussie was blaming anybody. Reminding concerned parents how vulnerable a sick child could be is not a shame it’s a Mitsvah.
to those that are blasting Mussie
Mussie did not badmouth or place blame CH”V on the parents. AND she specifically said that she’s not seeking to place blame.
She was just making a blanket statement for parents to take caution, and trust their sixth sense when a child complains that they aren’t feeling well – and act on it.
so cut her some slack!!