Who the Rebbe Was Thinking About?

by Rabbi Asher Zeilingold, Clear Vision

Once at a farbrengen with the Rebbe, in the early 1970s, he called me over, and gave me a slice of cake to give to a young woman with special needs in St. Paul. The woman’s family were members of the Conservative Temple of Aaron and had nothing to do with Adath Israel. However, other Chabad emissaries in St. Paul were in touch with the family, and the young woman enjoyed their visits and joined their events.

When I arrived back home, I went to the family, and gave the piece of cake to her mother, telling her that the Rebbe had sent it to her daughter. A few days later she called me all frantic, telling me that her daughter did not want to eat the cake. “Rabbi Schneerson is a very, very holy man,” the daughter said, “I am not holy and cannot touch food from a very holy man.”

I was not sure what to say and suggested that perhaps she should ask her daughter’s psychiatrist what to do. A few days later she called me back, and she said that the psychiatrist gave several suggestions, but they did not work.

Instinctively I said that I would ask the Rebbe what to do. Later I thought: Why had I said that? Did I really need to bother myself with a person with special needs who did not want to eat a piece of cake? The entire thing made no sense to me. The Rebbe knew who she was and how she was challenged, why was he even sending her a piece of cake? And why with me, who had nothing to do with the family? 

I didn’t know the answers, but I wrote to the Rebbe about several things, including how she did not want to touch the cake. The Rebbe responded to the other questions, and with regard to the young woman, he wrote, “She should hold it with a glove.” It worked, and she ate it.

In the 1970s, the mentally challenged were just that. We did not reckon with their feelings or their needs. They were regarded as a burden on society. But who was the Rebbe thinking about in the middle of a grand farbrengen – not the professor at Adath Israel, not the local senator who helped us, nor the philanthropist who supported our activities – just a young woman with challenges in St. Paul. I took this lesson to heart, that I needed to view every person – even the mentally challenged – the same.

An excerpt from the forthcoming book Clear Vision: Living by the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s Guidance, available at ClearVisionBook.com