INBOX: My Davening, A Personal Story

by Levi Maximov

Over the past couple of years I’ve been searching for what Chassidus terms “Avodas Hatefilah”. When I learn Chassidus, the text always points to the primacy of Davening, and so I ask myself “what is Davening”. I know from learning Chassidus, especially in Torah Ohr/Likkutei Torah, that the Avodah of Davening is like a Ladder, where one starts off from their physical self, and uplifts themselves all the way up, being completely subsumed into HaShem’s infinite light. (This can be seen in “Adnai Sfosai Tiftach” before Shmoneh Esrei. One of the reasons we say it, is because once we reach the space of the Amidah, we are so bound with Hashem, that we are like HaShem’s plaything, that he controls. We speak, because he wants us to speak).

But the way to go through davening, knowing what I was doing, was seemingly beyond my reach. I have no mesorah of how to Daven, and Mashpiim, I feel, are out of reach and out of touch. And those that are relevant, and down to earth, seldom speak about Davening. When they do, it is always glossed over. 

I want to know “what in the world am I doing?! Every day, three times a day, I’m wasting an hour plus on saying random words!” I know the Pirush Hamilos, but that’s not enough. The toichen is inspiring, but why am I saying this and then that. What is the order and meaning?! 

I start looking outside Lubavitch, and I find podcasts discussing Davening, but it’s so impersonal and doesn’t speak of the “ladder” aspect of davening. I learn that “adon olam”s origin is unknown, and I say to myself “who cares!” I want to know why I say it. I learned that the first part of Hodu is Dovid Hamelech’s Tefillah about the Aron’s return from the Plishtim. And I’m still left wondering, why am I reading this, every, single, day! How is this relevant!!!

Boruch Hashem I found what I was looking for. I see there’s a group of likeminded people, who don’t want to continue the literal “lip service”. There’s a course called “Bais Medrash Iyun Tefillah” (iyuntefillah.com). What a mechayeh! I can breathe, I can finally know what I’m doing every single day. 

So now, I don’t hate davening anymore! Now davening is a comfortable experience. I know what I’m doing and where I’m going. The Kollel influenced me so much, that I started giving Shiurim on Davening (11am every Tuesday at “Aliya”).

When Davening is tough, which to be honest is every day, I know I have a lifeline, if I only focus. So the focusing part is on you, but the tools are all there. The shiurim are a three pronged approach on conquering Davening (שעת צלותא שעת קרבא). The first shiur with Dayan Raskin explores the wonderful substructure of Davening. While the Second with R’ Klein shows how davening is personal, my neshomas song to Hashem. With the third class, with R’ Farkash, who uplifts us above this world, shooting us above the limitations and showing us the Chassidus hidden within the words. 

This is my story, it has only just begun. 

Davening is a paradox. The Possuk says:

“סֻלָּם מֻצָּב אַרְצָה, וְרֹאשׁוֹ מַגִּיעַ הַשָּׁמָיְמָה” 

This Possuk is used as the Possuk for Davening. Davening starts from the bottom, and reaches the heavens. “The heavens” though are infinite, הַשָּׁמַיִם וּשְׁמֵי הַשָּׁמַיִם לֹא יְכַלְכְּלוּךָ, thus teaching us that the work is never ending, the job is never finished.

So Hatzlocha Rabba on the journey of a lifetime. 

The Rebbe mentioned many times that a Yid is not Shayach to Golus, and that the Geulah is right in front of us, it is within reach, the Avodah of Birurim is over. Now we only need to make Yichudim, connecting our world with HaShems reality. This is exactly what is done during Davening. 

So may we be zoche to make this truth ours, to open our eyes, fusing our life with Hashem, with the revelation of Moshiach now! But for real, now!!!

HaTomim Levi Maximov 

Yud Tes Kislev, Rosh Hashanah of Chassidus, Chag Hageulah 5786.

To reach out for comments email Leviymaimov@gmail.com

For more see iyuntefillah.com