Child Abuse Survivors confront Past at Miami Event

A large crowd from the Miami Jewish community gathered at the JLC in Miami Beach on Sunday evening for an emotionally charged evening to raise awareness for child abuse in the Orthodox Jewish community and learn what Jewish Community Watch (JCW) is doing to combat it.

The crowd heard from rabbis, survivors and therapists. By the end of the evening, which many described as ‘raw’, ‘vulnerable’ and ‘emotional’, over a dozen victims of child abuse stood up and publicly acknowledged their abuse – some for the very first time.

The MC for the event, Rabbi Schneur Kaplan, introduced the opening speaker, Rabbi and Licensed therapist Chaim Drizin. Rabbi Drizin shared some of his experiences working with victims of abuse referred to him by JCW. Drizin also discussed some lesser known facts about the types of homes victim of abuse often come from.

Founder and director of Jewish Community Watch, Meyer Seewald detailed how after the death of his best friend at the age of 17, the father of his friend set up a youth group and built close relationships with a number of young boys who he then took advantage of. When Meyer, who himself was a victim of child abuse, discovered the depth of the abuse in the community, he realized that his mission in life was to battle it. “We must unite to confront this evil amongst us,” said Seewald. “We are slowly coming together to end the cover up; we are sending a message to survivors that they are not alone and that we stand with them.”

The next speaker, Dr. Norman Goldwasser, spoke about the deterrent power of the “Wall of Shame” on JCW’s website, where confirmed abusers names and photos are posted. He recounted a number of occasions where the fear of being listed on the Wall of Shame had caused abusers to agree to participate in breakthrough therapy sessions with their victims.

Miami businessman and philanthropist Eli Nash had many in tears as he shared his story of the horrific abuse he had suffered from age 8 to 11 – he spoke about the lasting effect it had on him into his adulthood. With the help of extensive therapy and the support of JCW, he had confronted his abuser and began to heal. He is now a leading supporter of JCW and a voice against child abuse.

“There is no middle ground,” said Mr. Nash “you either publicly stand with the victims of abuse or you allow victims to continue to suffer. When an adult is taking advantage of a child, if we do nothing, an adult continues to take advantage of the child.” He declared that he will no longer be ashamed and urged others in the crowd who had been abused to stand. Over a dozen people stood up to thunderous applause from the audience.

A short film produced by JCW entitled “Speak up” was shown and as the evening wound down, kosher restaurateur Baruch Sandhaus, who was sitting in the audience, took the podium  and revealed that he too had been abused decades before. “Be ‘alivers!’ by you being here, by continuing with your life you have proven yourself stronger than those who hurt you. You have the power to live successful and meaningful lives, he said.”

One of the attendees, Shainy Toron-Federman, posted afterwards on JCW’s Facebook page: “Last night’s event was probably the most important one I’ve ever been to. The honesty, rawness, humanity and bravery that was shown by every single speaker and survivor affected me so deeply I really can’t describe it. Eli, Meyer, and Baruch–who were so courageous in sharing their stories straight up just saved countless lives. I have never been prouder to be Jewish than I was last night, when we all stood together and [sent a sent a message] to the abusers and cowardly murderers who will never again lay a hand on anyone with the help of JCW.”

A similar event will be held on September 15th in Brooklyn, New York. Visit www.facebook.com/JewishCommunityWatch.Org for more information.

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16 Comments

  • Want to embarass Lubavitch?

    These were the words of a Miami Rav, many years ago, when someone wanted to take action, regarding someone who took advantage of his kid.

  • Where can abusers get help to stop

    Would someone who really knows, please provide a lead where abusers can go for real (with a track record of) success in stopping, and can this be publicized, please.

    • CH resident...

      I don’t know of a person or org. with a “track record” of helping abusers stop abusing … other than getting an Order of Protection. An inability to feel empathy is common to people who use others to satisfy their own desires. They don’t really feel that what they are doing is hurting someone else. The abuser needs help in understanding how his/ her actions are impacting others, and not many people say to themselves, “Gee, maybe I should speak with someone about my lack of empathy.”

      However, given that virtually all abusers were themselves either abused or otherwise mistreated or come from difficult, unhappy circumstances, it is very possible that s/he might decide that s/he needs help dealing with their own traumas. That’s really the only way, I think.

      An excellent Jewish referral agency for mental /emotional health problems is reliefhelp.org (718.431.9501)

      Kol tuv.

    • Gavrial Fyglin

      If he really wants help he should go to SAA Meetings or even Gavriel Fayglin treats molesters that really want help.

    • to number 4

      Abusers can be helped ! They only need to deal with the issue . I know abusers that see a Doc. its a curable problem. Who to go to ?! its worth the money and shame to talk with a Doc . even for one session that way an abuser will get a lead to his healing process . If you contact the Dr. Goldwasser above , he can help .
      Even someone who is not an abuser but has the feelings and desires for such a thing should talk with a Doc….its hard to open up but undoubtedly worth the moments shame…not everyone needs to know our struggles and ailments but a Doc should .

      Hazlocha

    • Dr. Miller

      The research shows that abusers with long track records of abuse have a very low rate of success in therapy. Please keep in mind that even those therapists with “high” levels of success will likely have rates that are actually quite low. Once someone has been abusing for a long time, they need to be locked up and never ever given access to vulnerable potential victims.

  • To number 2

    Everyone knows that a lot has not been done in the past (even actively). At this point, instead of using this forum to bash that past, use it to strengthen a good and needed development.

  • was at the event

    Bs”D
    Thank you to all the survivors for standing up and helping us fight this war!!! May HaShem bless you all with the ability to overcome what happened and be “alivers” like Mr. Sandhaus said!!

  • Doneg Chastill

    This Meyer Seewald is a attention hungry misguided young man.
    It is inappropriate to plaster peoples photos with derogatory profiles simply because Meyer Seewald and his cohorts decided they have the authority to do so.
    Also, victims blaming childhood abuse must realize that finding the cause of current problems is more intensive than simply attributing the affect to events of decades past.

    • Mendy

      You are living in a fantasy world. The day your kid gets molested and you watch the downward spiral, then you may change your opinion.

      Most issues victims of abuse suffer are a direct result of the abuse they suffered and the years of keeping it a secret.

  • V good!

    So important! We should speak out and not let it continue. I was abused by a member of my shul. I still am suffering the effects while he leads a regular life.

  • to #12

    Its people like you who allow the abusers to continue abusing, and hold back the victims from coming forward. Shame on You!

  • Anonymous

    Very odd that after so many years of me ditching Yiddishkeit, Chabad/Lubavitch is finally addressing long-outstanding issues. Funny, now that the widespread abuse is out in the open, what are the people who actually left the frum lifestyle supposed to think? “Oh, I can just walk back and be a part of my family and their community again?!”