Shazak Parsha Post – Parshas Yisro

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Midyan Priest Converting?! To Judaism?!

Yisro, the famous priest of Midyan has stunned the religious world. The grand priest announced in a press conference, “After careful deliberation and soul-searching, I have decided to convert to Judaism and join the great nation of Israel. Hearing about the grand Exodus Out of Egypt, the miraculous Splitting of the Sea, the overwhelming victory over Amalek, I can clearly proclaim – the G-d of Israel is the true and only G-d.”

Religious authorities world-wide are not convinced that Yisro will go ahead with the conversion. “It’s all a publicity stunt,” said Abdul Hakachainik. “Yisro will never give up his fame and fortune to become a member of the tribe.”

Quest for Torah Keepers Ends

After endless days searching for a nation to accept His Torah, HaShem finally found the people who agreed to keep His laws: the former slaves of Egypt, a.k.a. the Jews.
Other nations reportedly flat-out rejected the Torah, claiming it had preposterously high expectations. “How can anyone make an honest living without stealing?” a member of Bnei Eisav told reporters.

A member of another faraway nation was overheard saying, “The Torah commands us to honor our parents every single day of the year? Forget it! Father’s Day
and Mother’s Day are more than enough!”

In contrast, the entire Jewish nation immediately accepted HaShem and His Torah wholeheartedly. “Na’aseh V’nishma,” they proclaimed. “Whatever we are told we will do! No questions asked!”

The Jewish nation are excitedly and nervously preparing for Matan Torah, the Giving of the Torah, which will take place at Mount Sinai.

Catastrophic Calamity Calmed

At the Giving of the Torah, the thunderous sound of G-d’s voice was too holy and intense for the Jewish nation to handle. With each of the first two commandments spoken, their souls left their bodies and then came back. To prevent this from happening again, Moshe was commanded by HaShem to relay the remaining eight commandments.

“I never died before, but believe me, it wasn’t pleasant, and I sure don’t want to go through this again anytime soon,” commented Tsvi Tsoohakt. “We couldn’t handle HaShem’s voice in its purity and mightiness, added Tanchum Tsooshmettered.”

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