Lighting the Way of Tradition

NEW PORT RICHEY, FL — With gifts wrapped in Tinkerbell paper, an array of cakes and cookies, and lollipop centerpieces, it looked like a birthday party for a little princess.

It was that and much more. Yet this party didn’t have pin the tail on the donkey or clowns or inflatable houses to bounce around in.

It did have candles, though not birthday candles. And 3-year-old twins Chana and Zelda Eber celebrated the night of Nov. 16 by lighting the candles and saying a prayer, not by blowing them out and making a wish.

It’s a Jewish girl’s rite of passage that she light Sabbath candles when she turns 3.

According to Jewish tradition, matriarch Sarah lit the first candles for Shabbat the Hebrew word for the weekly day of rest in her tent. Miraculously, her candles burned from one week to the next. The same happened when her daughter-in-law, Rebekah, began lighting the candles after Sarah’s death.

Women are traditionally charged with lighting the candles that usher in the Sabbath at sundown each Friday as they are responsible for bringing peace and joy to the home. Single women light one candle; married women light two, though some also light a candle for each family member. Candles must be lit no later than 18 minutes before sunset. (On this Friday, that time was 5:20 p.m.) Candle lighting after sunset violates the prohibitions against work, which includes making fire.

After lighting the candles, the woman covers her eyes with her hands and recites the following: “Blessed are you, Lord our God, king of the universe, who has made us holy through his commandments and commanded us to kindle the Sabbath light.” Private prayers for family may follow. Then she uncovers her eyes and looks at the light.

Rabbi Yossi Eber, 31, and his wife, Dina, 27, wanted to mark the girls’ milestone with a community event. So they rented a banquet room at the Quality Inn and Suites and invited anyone who wanted to come.

They operate a chabad, a Hebrew acronym for the words wisdom, comprehension and knowledge. Chabads aim to reach out to Jews, especially in areas where little Jewish community exists. The Ebers, who live in Trinity, came to Pasco County from New York more than a year ago. They are among the 4,000 emissaries around the world.

“We wanted to involve the community,” said Eber, who also held a public menorah lighting for Hanukkah last year. “Some (Jews) don’t light candles or have stopped lighting the candles. We wanted to show them what it’s like.”

The ceremony began with the girls, who turned 3 on Oct. 24, sitting up front. Their parents explained their names: Chana, who is named for the mother of Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the spiritual leader of the Chabad movement, and Zelda, for Dina’s sister, who collapsed and died at age 18.

The girls each unwrapped a handmade silver candlestick, a gift from Rabbi Eber’s parents. Eber gave a brief message about the meaning of Shabbat. He related a story told to him by fellow rabbi who got a call from a woman who had breast cancer. She wanted to enroll her son in Hebrew school and bring him to a Shabbat dinner. The rabbi encouraged her, and they came. She died shortly thereafter.

“She wanted her last moments with him to be at a Shabbat table,” he said.

After the speech, the women all lined up to light to Shabbat candles.

With Dina holding their hands, the girls also lit theirs.

After that came songs, reading of the Torah, a blessing, and a dinner of fish and salads. Fish because they don’t have eyelids, so their eyes are never closed, Eber explained. Just like God’s eyes are never closed.

But all was not solemn, as the girls frolicked around the room and ate cake and candy. At one point, Zelda had a lollipop stuck to her navy jumper, prompting a laugh from her father.

“They ended up very sticky and very happy and very overwhelmed,” Dina said later. “But that’s what’s supposed to happen at birthday parties.”