The calls come in frequently to South Florida's rabbis: A relative demands to be cremated, contrary to Jewish law, while the family wants a traditional Jewish burial.
Shliach Starts Fund to Prevent Cremation of Jews
The calls come in frequently to South Florida’s rabbis: A relative demands to be cremated, contrary to Jewish law, while the family wants a traditional Jewish burial.
What to tell the family? Jewish leaders say the precedent is clear: Dead bodies should be buried, as Abraham buried his wife Sarah in the biblical Book of Genesis. Still, rabbis say they understand the burden: A traditional Jewish burial costs thousands of dollars, compared with less than $1,000 for some cremations.
As rabbis and congregants wrestle with the realities, Rabbi Sholom Ciment is trying to tackle the problem with a new approach. He is starting a foundation for indigent Jews who had planned to be cremated to ensure there is money to give them a proper Jewish burial.
“In Jewish law, everything must stop and this takes precedence, without expecting anything in return,” said Ciment of Chabad Lubavitch of Greater Boynton Beach. “We need an entity to stand up in a discreet way, meet with the major players and put some passion behind this.”
Ciment wants to gather rabbis, funeral home directors and Palm Beach County morgue representatives to make clear that Jewish burial should be a priority. He said a recent incident spurred his decision: He called the wife of an occasional visitor to the congregation after her husband died, only to find out he was going to be cremated. Ciment managed to raise money quickly for a traditional burial, which includes ritual washing of the deceased, a watchman staying with the body until it is buried and family members assisting with shoveling dirt on the burial plot.
Of the three main branches of Judaism, only Reform, the largest branch in the United States, accepts cremation, although its rabbis still express discomfort with it.
“Individual Jews choose how to integrate Jewish tradition into the lives we lead today, and while Jewish tradition frowns on cremation, these decisions are immensely personal, and many Jews choose cremation for a wide variety of reasons,” said Rabbi Dan Levin of Temple Beth El, a Reform synagogue in Boca Raton.
Often these reasons have nothing to do with religion, rabbis say, including cost, discomfort with being placed underground, a lack of family members to visit them in the cemetery and not wanting to take up valuable space in the earth.
Cremation’s popularity continues to grow among people of all faiths. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the cremation rate in the United States has risen from 9.72 percent in 1980 to 38 percent in 2009. At the same time, the average cost of a funeral increased from $1,809 to $6,560.
Jewish funerals are even more expensive, as much as $14,000, said Keith Kronish, a director at Gutterman’s, which has funeral homes in Florida and New York. This includes $7,000 for the burial plot and the same amount for the religious service. Gutterman’s charges $2,300 for its least expensive cremation.
South Florida has a high Jewish cremation rate, about 9 percent, but not the highest, Kronish said. Los Angeles averages about 10 percent, he said, while New York and Baltimore come in at about 7 percent and Washington, D.C., about 5 percent.
Kronish said he expects the Jewish cremation rate to continue to rise as Baby Boomers face financial problems in the tough economy. He said for the wealthy, burial in a mausolem, which Kronish said costs $10,000 for two lower-cost spaces, plus funeral costs, is growing in popularity for those who do not want to be buried underground. Above-ground mausolems are not approved by the Orthodox community.
Rabbi Efrem Goldberg of Boca Raton Synagogue, an Orthodox congregation, recently posted on Facebook about the challenges he faces when Jews want to be cremated. He said later the problem comes up most often when his observant congregants ask him to call their non-religious parents who choose cremation.
“I tell them the soul feels comfortable when it sees the body returned to Earth,” Goldberg said. “Then there is the emotional argument. The Nazis cremated the Jews; why would we want to do the same to ourselves?”
how can we participate?
Ailu devarim…Halvayas hameis…
I want a part in this mitzvah. Where can we donate?
Complicated issue, not just about money
We have dealt with this problem in our family, and it did not go well. There have been a lot of conflicts about it.
One added factor for many is not even the money, nor the other reasons cited in the article. Believe it or not, oftentimes, the nonobservant surviving spouse of a nonobservant Jew wants to avoid the attention, and calling-of-people, and the generally “public” aspects that go along with having an actual funeral and burial, especially so soon after the death occurs. They are overwhelmed and just want things to be very very simple for themselves, and R“L, the decision to cremate is very very simple and much more private for the surviving spouse than is a funeral, burial, shiva, matseiva, etc.
I am not advocating cremation here — just explaining what else was involved for the branch of my family who presented these arguments to us when we begged them to reconsider. When we offered to pay, we were told, ”It’s not a matter of the money, dear….“
We couldn’t adequately intervene because we were notified of the death (and the surprise plans to cremate; we’d been promised years before that there would be a burial!) right before a 3-day Shabbos-going-into-Yom-Tov, and by the time those 3 days were over, the surviving spouse’s wishes had been carried out!
I am certain that this surviving spouse, who R”L went ahead and cremated — much to our enormous dismay — has felt huge guilt and conflicted feelings since carrying out their decision. Our relationship has changed dramatically with this person, who clearly carries a grudge against us, even though they “got their way”! I think it’s a sort of displacement of their conflicted and guilt feelings about what they did after their spouse died; they’re taking it out on us — “shooting the messenger” of what they deep-down know was truly the right thing to do, which they went against.
Only Chabad
What a smart idea to have a fund for Kosher burials.It takes a Chabad Rabbi to think of helping another Jew, even after death.
Like Chabad needs another expense added to all the activities they do. But when it come to the importense of saving a soul (not a Chabad soul,just any YID’S soul) they are there.Noe thats real Ahavas Yisrael!!!
its being done cant chabad work with
in florida chesed shel emes has bee n doig this for a while and they pay for it and have funds and they fly the body to ny for burial in liberty
why all the fuss cant he work with chesed shel emes and leibel miller
great idea
I would like to know who will be overlooking this FUND so I can feel comfortable donating to it.
Many times these funds start with good intentions and then end supporting other causes the Rabbi (not necessarily this one) might be involved in.
LO ALEINU
A suggestion : There are some very graphic videos online about the process of cremation – it takes a long time, is often ended before the body is completely burned, and is VERY VERY violent.
People are misinformed and think that cremation is some kind of “clean” & “natural” event. Perhaps those cosidering cremation for themselves or a family member should educate themselves as to what really occurs in those ovens before making any decisions. Those in the business admit that the remnants can never be 100% cleaned out, and so ashes / body parts from several people are often mixed together & given to one family.
Ironically, those who are ecologically concerned are often swayed and impressed when they discover that the Jeiwsh way is completely “green” – no poisonous embalmimg fluids & just a simple wooden box.
LO ALEINU
THERE ARE ALSO SERIOUS HALACHIC QUESTIONS ABOUT SITTING SHIVA FOR ONE WHO WAS CREMATED, G-D FORBID
beautiful.
BS”D
This is AMAAZING :)
Chessed Shel Emes
Rabbi and Dinie Ciment- you are amazing! what an amazing mitzvah this is . Hatzlacha rabba with this and all your events!
Avrohom
Another practical suggestion is for frum relatives to gather from the inspirational literature on Kosher burials and speak with aging relatives long before it becomes practical. Rabbi Elchonon Zohn of queens Chevra Kadisha came to Kolel in Crown Heights a few years back and made this suggestion. He also has literature to help the conversation. To break the ice on this difficult to broach topic he suggested mentioning that there is a Segulah for long life for one who makes their burial arrangements early.