NYPD Officer Summons Target: His Bar Mitzvah

Mark Schwartz brought an assortment of cakes and cookies to work—to his New York City police station—that had been freshly arranged for an event earlier in the day. He had just reached a milestone he’d been considering for nearly a decade: his bar mitzvah.

“I was always saying, ‘I never did that before; I think this is something I’m missing in my life,’ ” says the 27-year-old (no relation to the author). “It’s a rite of passage I never received, something I missed.”

Jewish observance was not a strong focus when Schwartz, who works for the Borough Patrol Queens North, was growing up. Schwartz explains that Hebrew school would have meant more learning and classroom time—and on the weekends, of all things. At that time, he says, “I didn’t understand the point and wouldn’t have wanted to go.”

As a child, he sometimes went to Shabbat dinner at a friend’s house, he recalls. It’s nice to be able to do this again as an adult, he says, this time atChabad of Forest Hills North in Queens, N.Y.

A Queens native, Schwartz met Rabbi Mendy Hecht—co-director of the Chabad center with his wife, Chaya—at a Shabbat dinner last summer at the rabbi’s house. A friend he knew through work invited him along. He was explaining to the rabbi that he never had a bar mitzvah but wanted to, and the rabbi and Schwartz’s friend, Dr. Louis Philip Rotkowitz, helped put it on the calendar.

Preparing for the Milestone

Schwartz went online and found recordings to memorize the tunes for Torah reading, and read through website texts to prepare a bar mitzvah speech based on the Torah portion for the day he would have had his bar mitzvah at age 13. He also wrote a letter to take to the Ohel, a complex at the Old Montefiore Cemetery that houses the resting places of the Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, of righteous memory, and his father-in-law, the sixth Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneersohn, of righteous memory.

“It was a very deep, emotional feeling walking into the building. It felt like I belonged,” he says. “I felt proud to be a Jew.”

On January 27, the day of his bar mitzvah, Schwartz, Rotkowitz, and Rabbi Mendy and Chaya Hecht went to the Ohel at 7:30 a.m., where Schwartz recited the Shema prayer, washed his hands and then lit a candle just outside the Rebbe’s resting place. He stepped in, read his letter and tore it up, as is customary, then walked backwards out of the space.

Soon after came the bar mitzvah itself. Close friends and family gathered to take part in the event. “Having them sharing that moment made it so much more special,” says Schwartz. “I wasn’t doing it alone. I was doing it with my friends and family, and that’s what made it better, made it even sweeter.”

Schwartz’s father was there and to his son’s surprise, brought a yarmulke from some 50 years ago—from his own bar mitzvah. It was orange with his name on it. They also discussed his father’s tefillin, which Mark Schwartz never even knew he owned.

And then it was his turn. Schwartz donned tefillin and a tallit, and was called to the Torah for an aliyah blessing and the Torah reading itself.

“At the end, everyone’s yelling ‘Mazel tov!’ and throwing candy,” he says. “I didn’t expect the candy,” symbolizing the sweetness of the moment and of life.

They danced around the Torah, took pictures and distributed the bar mitzvah yarmulkes. Attendees scrawled good wishes on a photograph of Schwartz in his police uniform, and he was given his own prayer book, among other gifts. Schwartz dutifully sat on a chair and was lifted 27 times, in accordance with his age, after which those gathered enjoyed koshercakes, cookies, wine and more.

A Personal Celebration

Schwartz says he came away with a stronger sense of responsibility as a Jewish adult. “I don’t read Hebrew yet, but I’m going to start studying so I can read it one day. I’m a guy who doesn’t know anything about the religion, but I’m Jewish; I was born into it. I didn’t have the opportunity to really practice it, but now the Chabad House gives me opportunities I never had before.”

The following week, Chabad hosted a Shabbat dinner dedicated to the police officer’s bar mitzvah. The invitation went up on Facebook and drew about 50 people, who packed in to the Chabad House in honor of the event. Dinner included all the staples, like Chaya Hecht’s homemade challah, chicken soup and kugel.

Schwartz gave a speech on the week’s Torah portion—the same one he would have read if he had become a bar mitzvah at age 13.

He notes that his current age allows more perspective to the situation. “I’m not doing it because my parents made me. I’m doing it because it’s what I want to do and what I feel is right for me. I’m able to understand what I’m doing and why I’m doing it.”

His friend Rotkowitz, an emergency-room physician who lives in Queens, first got involved with Chabad when he attended the University of Delaware and stayed connected while in medical school in Central America. That involvement continued when he returned to the United States and eventually met Rabbi Hecht, with whom he started the Young Jewish Professionals of Queens, an organization to help bring this segment of the community together.

Schwartz and Rotkowitz became fast friends when the latter served as a volunteer auxiliary police officer for the New York City Police Department. Rotkowitz says he convinced Schwartz to come to the events, “and he started reading up on things and started going to Shabbat at the Chabad of Forest Hills North.”

Rotkowitz says he admires his friend’s determination to move ahead with the bar mitzvah, as well as his dedication to the work that preceded it. “He really took it upon himself; he wanted to do it,” he says. He helped coordinate the gold-imprinted yarmulkes for guests and the sign-in board, in addition to getting a navy-blue, velvet yarmulke made for Schwartz with his Hebrew name—Mottel Yehudah—on one side and the NYPD logo on the other.

“The bar mitzvah was perfect,” he says. “The coolest thing was Mark’s dad came, and went up to [Mark] and said, ‘I’m very proud of you.’ ”

Alan Wolfe, who volunteers with Schwartz at the Forest Hills Volunteer Ambulance Corps., says he was glad to celebrate with his friend of 10 years. He’s been to bar mitzvahs before—his own and his cousin’s—but this one was different, he notes. “I expected to sit in a synagogue, and very systematically” see him go through the typical ceremony. “I was shocked; this was a much more personal celebration.”

He adds that Schwartz met an important goal: “I think Mark finally got to close a chapter in his life that he’s been looking to close for many years.”

And by being there, Wolfe gained something valuable as well. “Even as a spectator,” he says, “I was able to get more from watching and being a guest than I did having a bar mitzvah myself.”

4 Comments

  • from Melbourne

    Hatzlacha Rabbah!

    Keep up the great work we’re very proud of you!

  • Shver/Tatty

    Rabbi Mendy and Chaya Hecht we are so very proud of you keep up the good work and may the one up above give you HATZLOCHO RABOH in ALL your undertakings to be a nachas ruach to the Rebbe

  • moshe

    Gevakdig!
    So wonderful and beautiful.
    Keep up the wonderful work.
    BTW who looked after the kids at 7:30am?!