Rabbis, Addicts Skip Wine for a Sober Seder

MIAMI [AP] — Around the Passover table, people drink red wine, swallowing a symbol of freedom, deliverance, redemption and release. But not Joe Nevenansky. Not this time.

On Wednesday he and his family celebrated the ancient Israelites’ liberation from Egyptian slavery, but he drank grape juice instead. Years ago he would have doubled or tripled the four glasses of wine traditionally imbibed during the ritual meal on the first day of the Jewish festival.

“It could be tempting,” said 33-year-old Nevenansky, a recovering alcoholic who has also kicked heroin and cocaine habits. His brother supported his 18 months of sobriety by also drinking grape juice.

Around the country, Jews have begun organizing gatherings for those who might struggle with the way Passover is traditionally celebrated. Observances swap grape juice for wine and surround recovering alcoholics with others who have endured similar battles.

They call them Sober Seders.

“It’s a whole different meaning,” said Rabbi Meir Kessler of Boca Raton, whose gathering has grown from 10 participants four years ago to 100 this year. “It’s relieving of the bondage of self.”

Jews drink four glasses of wine at Seder, a tradition set by Haggadah, the religious text used for the holiday. A Passover guide on the Web site for the orthodox Jewish Movement Chabad-Lubavitch tells those questioning a fourth glass: “Yes, you can handle it.”

The intention isn’t to get drunk, and anyone can opt out of using wine if they wish, Kessler said. But the custom can be hard to avoid, providing a test that may prove too tempting for some.

Kessler began the alcohol-free observance among his congregants after hearing that many were battling addictions. Other rabbis have found the same, and this year Sober Seders were hosted by the Chabad-Lubavitch movement in California, New York, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Montreal.

The gatherings offer an outlet to a holiday quandary that’s not limited to the Jewish faith: feeling unwelcome among one’s family, feeling miserable when those around you rejoice. Many recovering addicts eventually feel comfortable in such surroundings again, but avoiding proximity alcohol altogether can be helpful for those new to sobriety.

Some even find they prefer it.

Shelly Kompel was addicted to drugs and alcohol for two decades, but she and her husband, a former heroin addict, have been clean almost as long. She credits her faith with her recovery and says she can handle being around alcohol again, but prefers surrounding herself with others who have similar stories, as she did this year at a Sober Seder in Los Angeles.

“The energy of the people,” Kompel said. “We look around and say, ‘My God, we should be in jail, locked up somewhere in a mental institution, and here we are enjoying (the Seder).’”

The rituals are the same, but Rabbi Yisrael Pinson, who hosts a Sober Seder in Detroit, said the revised Passover celebration offers unique insight on the holiday.

The story of Exodus is just that, he said, a story one can only read about. But a modern-day Jew seeking freedom from his or her addictions can find it among supporters at Sober Seder.