Op-Ed: It’s Time To Talk About Shluchim Working For Shluchim
by Rabbi Gershon Avtzon – Cincinnati, OH
Two years ago, just before the Kinnus Hashluchim, I wrote an article (Found Here) discussing the difficulties that Yungeleit are going through to find a place to go on Shlichus. In that article we discussed the idea that it could be that we have to shift the expectations by Yungeleit and to redefine what it means to be on shlichus of the Rebbe.
After that article was published I received a call from a very respected educator. He told me that he has read what I wrote and he agreed that there is a very big challenge for Yungeleiet that want to go on Shlichus but he fundamentally disagreed with the suggested solution.
He said that it is obvious that Tomchei Temimim needs to put a focus on shlichus, and Talmidim need to be instilled with that passion and fire, but there is one thing that needs to be figured out: How to convince Yungeleit that working directly for a Shliach, even without developing their own area, is considered shlichus. If we could figure this out, he continued, we could have hundreds of more Shluchim.
I am a person that tries to be objective and open to listening to other views and opinions, and what this person told me resonated with me. I spoke with many Yungeleit about this concept – why are they looking to be alone in a small city (which has so many challenges) if they can work for another Shliach in a bigger city and seemingly affect so many more people – and I was shocked by the answer.
I had expected the answer to be that they simply wanted to follow the “shlichus dream” and “conquering another city for the Rebbe”, yet I received a much more practical answer: They are simply protecting themselves and their families in the long term.
In simple words: There are too many stories and young couples putting their energy and life into communities and then things fall apart (for various reasons) and they are forced to leave. There are stories of couples that have worked for 20 years for other Shluchim and when they are “let go”, they are left with big families and limited options. Seeing these scenarios make Yungeleit decide that it is worth the struggle of developing their own shlichus and they can protect their own future.
After hearing this, I realized that this can’t continue and there must be awareness of some of the pitfalls that have caused the breakdown of these relationships, so that it can be prevented in the future. After hours of discussion with Yungeleit that have been fired by other shluchim (and discussions with the shluchim that fired them), I would like to share this feedback and understanding:
To the Shliach that is hiring: While it is true that you are bringing a new Shliach to your institution, you must act like you are bringing an employee to your institution. Thus:
1. A very clear job description must be written and agreed upon. In addition to the clarity that it brings, it also allows the young Shliach to measure his success and feel that he is doing what is expected of him. It also creates the proper red line of what is expected and what is considered extra. It also allows you to give clear feedback to the new shliach (they really want to hear that their boss is happy!) and even constructive criticism.
2. Don’t expect Mesiras Nefesh: There is a good chance that the shliach which is hiring went through years of hardships and struggles and he is available to his community 24/7. While this is admirable, it should not be expected of the young shliach that you are bringing. It is very natural for the hiring shliach to feel that “shlichus is Mesiras Nefesh and we are all in this together”, but it leads to tremendous frustration and conflict. By realizing that you are hiring an employee for a certain part of the shlichus, it will prevent these negative feelings from arising.
3. Don’t hire a “couple”, rather hire the husband and have no expectations of his wife. She needs to be the support of her husband and family and too many issues develop (between the couple themselves and the institution) when they both have shared responsibilities to the institution. If she wants to be involved in the shlichus, it is with a separate agreement.
4. Create built-in possibilities for financial growth for the shliach you are hiring. This will create motivation as well as preventing the feeling of “being stuck” and burnout as the years go by. An example: If the shliach is hired to run a day-camp, there should be agreed-upon raises when certain benchmarks of registration are reached.
[5) In a case where there is a father-son team that is hiring another shliach it is vital that all know clearly who the hired shliach is answerable to. If not, it will definitely cause confusion and dysfunction.]
The shliach being hired:
1) Understand the years of struggle and toil that the hiring shliach went through to be in the position that he is today. There needs to be a true sense of bittul and respect. This includes, but not limited to, giving updates on your activities and including him in big decisions and events.
2) Always be aware that how you act, speak and interact with the community-members can affect the entire Mossad. Relationships can take years to build and cultivate but can be destroyed in minutes or seconds. The senior Shliach has invested years into his institution and you must act accordingly.
3) Stay “in your lane” and take ownership of your shlichus. Your best “job-security” is excelling to a point that the hiring shliach can’t think of running this part of the institution without you. You make yourself indispensable to the institution.
4) Have an agreed upon intermediary, or mediator, where small issues can be openly discussed and settled before they become too big. If you are bothered by something, communicate it to the shliach that has hired you.
[5) Be aware: There is a good chance that the senior shliach will be living a better lifestyle (Gashmius) than you. He worked hard, experienced times of hunger and desperation, and has earned the right to live well and provide for his family. It is actually something that you would like to see in someone that is hiring you. If they are taking care of their family, they will understand your need to take care of yours.]
May we all do our best to give the Rebbe Nachas and to fulfill the shlichus of getting the world ready “Lekabel Pnei Moshiach Tzidkeinu B’Poel Mamash!
Please feel free to share your thoughts on the above with me by sending me a personal email: rabbiavtzon@gmail.com
