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Op-Ed: Equality in Every Bunk – Rethinking Camp Practices

by Chaim Gravitzer

In the tranquil embrace of a Friday afternoon, when the sun’s gentle rays linger over the camp, a bustling scene unfolds. Activities cease, and preparations for Shabbos commence. Yet, amid the serenity of the sports fields and the routine in the bunkhouses, a stark contrast emerges at the camp’s entrance. Here, amidst the lush Catskill Mountains, parents converge to deliver elaborate Shabbos packages—challah, strudel, even sushi—anything to spare their children from the perceived horrors of camp cuisine.

Picture this: Friday night, as campers gather around tables, voices ring out, criticizing the food served with disdain, while devouring home-cooked or store-bought delights—kugel, cake, schnitzel—the very fare they spurn in camp. And amidst them sits Mendel, perhaps quieter than the rest, his parents unable to make the pilgrimage upstate, either due to financial constraints or because they live out of sate or on shlichus. For Mendel, this means facing each Shabbos with the stark reality of camp food, left wondering silently if his parents’ absence of packages equates to an absence of love.

Little does he know the sacrifices they make—struggling to afford camp fees, juggling expenses for Sechar limud, and sparing what they can for his modest pleasures. But in Mendel’s world, the absence of a weekly package stings—a tangible reminder of his difference from the more ‘fortunate’ campers.

The question begs: why this relentless need among parents to micromanage their children’s camp experience? You send them away for weeks on end, knowingly entrusting them to the care of others. What purpose then, does the ceaseless delivery of parcels serve? Are we nurturing resilience or reinforcing dependence? Is it not enough that they departed with pockets laden with canteen funds and snack boxes aplenty? What lessons are we imparting by perpetuating this practice?

Consider, too, the children left without such luxuries—the ones whose parents cannot afford weekly shipments or the time for Friday visits. What message do we send to them about worth and equality?Camp rules stipulate no Friday drop-offs, aiming for uniformity and inclusivity. Yet, many parents say: “we are exempt”, undermining the very ethos of communal living that camp strives to cultivate. If rules are made, should they not be upheld for the collective good? Imagine the child who, year-round, lives in cramped quarters, a small apartment in Crown Heights, finding solace in camp’s promise of equality, same bed, Bunk, Food, etc.—only to have it marred by disparities in parental contributions.

Let us, as parents, reconsider our actions. Let us honor the rules set forth by camp administrations, for they are not arbitrary but grounded in fostering a community where all children feel valued. Let us teach our children resilience and self-sufficiency, not dependency and entitlement. And for camps, enforce these rules consistently, for the benefit of all campers.

In closing, Mendel and countless others like him deserve a camp experience unclouded by disparities in parental resources. Let us bridge this divide, fostering a space where every child can thrive, equally and without exception. It’s time to embrace change, to shift focus from material indulgence to the nurturing of independence and camaraderie. For Mendel’s sake, for all our children’s sake, let us make camp a true haven of equality and growth.

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33 Comments

  • a parent

    Oh, please. So now we’re supposed to just let our kids suffer through subpar camp food because a few can’t get packages? If I want to send my child a little comfort from home, that’s my business. Camps are supposed to make our kids happy and healthy, not turn them into soldiers. And honestly, if some kids feel bad because others get packages, maybe it’s time they learn life’s not always fair.

    • staff member

      the food is really not that bad and the kids are definitely not suffering

    • Crown Heights

      Parents like you who think everything has to go your way and turn everything around the other way are the ones making the problems. Just don’t send food and your kid will survive!!!

    • Levi B

      This comment is super self centered. This comment seems to be coming from someone without a heart or mind.

      This is terribly sad to read this remark!

    • Shmuly

      What would you say when chas vashalom your son is the one who is not receiving food from home because you can’t afford it ?!
      Some sensitivity for another will do all of us good.

    • what on earth

      as a mother who sends her kids packages, doesn’t this post give you a little empathy? what a selfish comment

    • Another parent

      Shocked at your self-centeredness.
      Maybe teach your own child that consideration for others is more important than food ? And that life’s not always fair…

  • zevi Greenberg

    Spot on! Camp should be about equality and building independence. Extra packages just create unnecessary divides. stick to the rules so everyone has the same experience, regardless of their parents’ means.

  • not in my sons camp

    that is also why we send out kids to CGI Montreal, aint no way anyone is schlepping there to Drop of Shnitzel, and amazon packages are also way less common there.

  • Mom in ch

    We aren’t wealthy – in fact the opposite. But camp packages show we Care. Thanks to Amazon the $5 camp package exists. It cuts down the home sickness. I don’t see the problem.

    • you may have it but other dont

      what about the parents that dont have the extra $5
      and the more you send the more you are feeding into the homesikiness.
      let hem grow up!
      will you hold his hand when he is 25-30 -45 years old??

  • BT

    I completely agree!! At my camp 60 years ago, a few rich, privileged parents dropped off huge packages for their kids, and the rest of us were upset and insanely jealous. Guess what? The camp director retired and the new director strictly enforced the rule of No Parents Bringing Packages!! This made a huge difference in the morale of campers, and of staff, too!!

  • Yechiel Baumstein

    Let’s start with the parents!

    Why force this equality on the children while the parents practice this all the time?

    No more Amazon packages and lavish BBQ’s at bungalow colonies.

    Many families saved up the whole year to afford a summer getaway, but in the meantime you have many families getting Amazon packages all day and going to non stop restaurants.

    Same goes for Shul/community. cars etc

    • grow up

      GORW UP!!
      SOME HAVE MORE SOME HAVE LESS!
      we are not living on kibbutz

  • Bubbie

    Side note.
    There seems to be no policy for Bar mitzvahs in the summer. Our grandson wanted to have his first Aliyah. If there was a set policy my kids would have followed it to the letter. Getting him to CH was a nightmare and cost a fortune. Thanks to 2 great counselors, he made it. Boys aren’t always born September-June

  • are you kidding?

    So now we’re supposed to punish kids with parents who actually care enough to send them packages? This article is a joke. Let’s penalize those who go the extra mile, while others do nothing and get a free pass on “equality.” What a twisted sense of fairness.

    • Zev w

      I think this reader missed the point of the article.
      Unfortunately some soul searching will help.

    • Parent

      This comment sounds like it’s from a child.
      Very immature.

      Yes, it’s more important to care for others feelings than the food u eat.

    • Mom

      You can show you care and love and miss your child with a daily email. No need to make others feel less than. Be thankful you’re not the one that can’t afford it. Remember the same G-d who gives also takes, and the wheel of fortune can spin the other way. So don’t be so haughty.

  • that boy was me

    Reading this makes me feel even more left out. I remember feeling like I was missing out because my parents couldn’t send extra packages like other kids. It’s hard to see the fairness when you’re on the receiving end of this. Maybe we should be talking about how to make every kid feel included, not just worrying about the rules

  • We eat it all!!

    It’s not true, we give the kids nothing. we the staff get the packages and on Friday take about a 3rd for ourselves (delivery fee) and your soon can have the rest.
    Thanks for the food keep it coming!!

  • Kop Doktar

    Send the packages, BUT each bunk will pool all the packages together and divide their contents equally amongst all the campers of the bunk. So, keep the packages coning, but be smart about it. Better restaurants do this with tips to keep everythingfair and equal.

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