Op-Ed: Engagement Pictures and What the Rebbe Wrote About Them
by Yosef F.
In the Lubavitch community, the words of the Rebbe carry a lot of weight. One thing he advised against was taking engagement pictures. The Rebbe believed it was important for couples to keep their relationship private and modest, especially before marriage.
Yet despite this advice, some people today ignore it and go ahead with elaborate engagement photoshoots and social media posts. As some might not realize they’re going against the Rebbe’s teachings, prioritizing showing off over respecting the Rebba..
Altogether the Rebbe’s advice isn’t just about following old rules; it’s about valuing privacy, and especially in today’s times. Knowing that In a world where social media often dictates what’s normal, it’s tough to resist sharing every moment online.
On time Rabbi Leibel Groner related that the Rebbe also asked him to publicize his displeasure with the following: It recently has become endemic that Chossan and Kallah come together after their engagement party for pictures. Very much further, they even take photographs together in a photo studio.
Lastly the Rebbe once told an individual during Yechidus ‘In heaven they are ashamed of the fact that Chossan and Kallah are photographed together before their wedding’.
I might add that engagement pictures might seem harmless, they represent a bigger struggle. But choosing tradition isn’t about being old-fashioned; it’s about finding strength and beauty in values that stand the test of time.
Entirely there is no need when people go to the Ohel for their personal time, that they have to be bombarded with phones and shouting etc…
Respecting other people is highly important. Outwardly it might not seem a big deal but it can affect more than you think.
We should all merit to make many many simchas and Mazel Tovs.
Yungerman
Great point!
I also heard from Rabbi Groner to go to the Ohel on the day of the wedding, but if Rosh Chodesh, that The Rebbe said to go Erev Rosh Chodesh. Obviously, this means Chosson and Kallah at different times.
(Seems strange that a few people think The Rebbe said to go to the Ohel on the day of engagement instead.)
Mendel
Your absolutely right
CH Resident
Please post what year this was, as when I became a kallah (1980s) , there was no such issue. We took a few pictures at our “vort”, it was not a no-no, or we never would have even thought to do so
Dina
Thank you for your post. I wanted to write about this myself. Today what we didn’t do 15 years ago is the new norm. It is very sad that – the Rebbe’s words are ignored because that is what everyone else does. We need people to make a shturim about this until the new norm is what the Rebbe wants aa the accepted process.