My Mother: A True Eishes Chayil

By Mushkie Roness

My mother, was a true eishes chayil, a woman of valor, she exemplified the words Kol Kvudah Bas Melech Pnima. She lived her life in a modest way, always acting and dressing with Tznius. There’s so much to write about my mother, I could write an entire book and still not finish! With her yahrtzeit approaching on the third night of chanukah (zach kislev), I would like to share a few things that stood out to me most in my mind as a little girl.

The thing I remember most about my mother was her utmost respect for everyone, especially for my father ob”m. My mother was always there to support him in any way possible and always lovingly standing by his side. My mother was also attentive like this to all of us eight children. My mother truly cared for everyone she met, and this was especially apparent when it came to shabbos and yomtov candle lighting. My mother taught us the special power of prayer by candle lighting. There’s an Eis Ratzon during this time, it is a time that women can ask Hashem for anything. As far back as I can remember I would watch my mother as she lit the candles looking like a shabbos queen standing so regally with royal grace and whispering to the King of the universe behind her covered face for nearly to 40 minutes praying for her family as well as everyone she had come in contact with.

My mother did a lot of Mivtzoim wherever and whenever the opportunity arose, even making an effort to hand out sheva mitzvos cards. I remember going with my parents to a park in Flatbush that was popular among Russian Jews. While my father would educate the men to put up Mezuzahs and encourage them how important it is to enroll their children in yeshivas, my mother would inspire the women to light Shabbos candles. It was amazing for me as a young
child to watch my parents engage with everyone they met, spreading their enthusiasm for yiddishkeit. The people they met naturally picked up on their excitement and joy.

My mother was constantly doing Mitzvos to make others happy. She ran a Mesibas Shabbos for many years for the children on our block, for boys and girls ages 4-10, where the kids would say Pesukim, play fun games, enjoy some nosh and sing songs. This was done in memory of her dear mother, my Bubby Rochel ob”m. Arranging the Mesibas Shabbos every week took hours of her time with a different house hosting each week. When no other was available, my mother would host at our house. As I grew, my sisters and I helped out with leading the Mesibas Shabbos. But there were many times that we weren’t able to do it, and my mother led it on her own. She did this so other parents would have a Shabbos break for two hours.

For a period of time, every Motzei Shabbos, my mother would invite girls and women to our house, to fulfill the Rebbe’s instructions of women bringing Moshiach through Shira V’Zimra, singing and dancing. So Motzei Shabbos our house would be full of music! Women and girls would flock to our house for a Melava Malka with song and dance.

Music was a huge part of my childhood. My mother played piano by ear. Sometimes in the morning, when I or one of my siblings were having trouble waking up, she would enter our room and start playing Modeh Ani and other Jewish songs, to cheerfully wake us up.

My mother loved the Mitzvah of Hachnosas Orchim. For many years we had a French family as our houseguests for Tishrei. My mother made sure that they were comfortable, had enough food, comfortable bedding, etc. One story in particular sticks out in my mind. My parents had just bought our house, but we hadn’t moved in yet. A man came to Crown Heights from France and needed a place to stay for Tishrei. The only furniture that we had in our new home were a few filing cabinets. This man slept on two filing cabinets placed flat on the floor. I’ll never forget that! Even though my mother couldn’t supply him with a proper bed and we weren’t even living in our new house yet, the only thing my mother was concerned about was that this man should have a roof over his head!

During the Sukkos Simchas Bais HaShoevah, while the men were dancing on the streets, my mother would invite women to our house to participate in our own Simchas Bais HaShoevah, with singing, dancing and music.

Chanukah was always so festive. My father lit the menorah and we would all stand around and sing Haneiros Halolu as well as many other Chanukah songs, my mother elegantly playing along on her keyboard. After singing, we would all sit together and play dreidel, using peanuts instead of coins. (My father would always lose, having eaten most of the peanuts before the game was halfway done!)

Our Pesach seder was so beautiful, I vividly remember how we sang thru the haggadah all night sometimes until krias shma shel shachris. After working hard to clean meticulously, we really enjoyed her signature egg drop soup.

Everyone has their mission to fulfill in this world. It is written that a Neshama can be brought down for 70 or 80 years just to do a favor for another. I believe my dear mother’s mission was to raise her family with torah and good midos. She taught and instilled in us how to be proper frum yiden, showing us by example. My mother molded me into the woman I am today. I look forward to the day when I will pass on my mother’s legacy to my children.

There is no doubt in my mind that my mother was a true Tzadekes, “From Sarah imeinu till my mother Sarah there arose none like Sarah”. Her warmth for others, excitement for Yiddishkeit, joy in doing every Mitzvah and her passion for doing chesed had an effect on everyone she met, and she continues to influence us every day. May my mother, Sara bas Reb Shimon haKohen’s neshama have an aliyah. This galus is lasting way too long, oh Hashem send moshiach already so we can all be reunited once again!