Posted to Op-Ed on

Op-Ed: What’s Wrong with a Non-Jewish Nanny?

by Anonymous

After reviewing and pondering some of the recent articles and associated comments on this website, I felt that there is a significant problem in the Lubavitch community that must be addressed. The problem is the prevalent practice of Lubavitch families employing non-Jewish (predominantly Hispanic) women to work in their homes assisting with housework and/or child care.

This practice has extremely harmful effects on the mitzvah observance of the entire family. Some of these effects are:

A. Kashrus – the non-Jewish worker is likely to make errors in mixing milchigs and fleishigs. Also, the non-Jewish worker may offer non-kosher candies to the children. Furthermore, there are issues of bishul akum if the worker prepares food, and possible issues of yayin nesech if the worker looks at wine that is not mevushal.

B. Tznius – the non-Jewish worker almost invariably wears clothing that is grossly inappropriate for a Jewish girl to wear, yet the fact that Jewish girls are continually exposed to a person dressed like this in their own home make it seem somewhat okay. In addition, when Jewish men see scantily clad women in their home, it certainly does not add to their yiras shomayim.

C. Non-Jewish influences – it is quite likely that the non-Jewish worker would sing non-Jewish songs, particularly when trying to soothe a baby. The non-Jewish worker might also talk about her experiences doing things that a Jew should not do, e.g. about observance of non-Jewish holidays.

When prominent Rabbis have such workers in their homes to help with housework and/or child care, the effects on the community are all the more damaging.

The profound effect of a child’s surroundings can be seen from the mishna in Pirkei Avos (2:9) that states, “Rabbi Yehoshua ben Chananya – happy is the one that gave birth to him.” The commentaries explain that from the day he was born, his mother kept his cradle in the beis hamidrash, so that he would be immersed in a Torah environment from day one.

There are reasons why Jewish families might feel compelled to hire a non-Jewish worker to work in their homes. Perhaps both parents must work full time in order to meet basic financial obligations. Perhaps a family has several infants and toddlers, and the family needs help with household chores. There are many other possibilities as well.

As the Rebbe stressed many times, “ayno mevakesh elo lifi kocho” – Hashem only asks of us what we are capable of doing. So there must be some alternatives to having non-Jewish workers in the home. Here are some possibilities for having Jews help in the home:

– Children in the family can help with chores – they often enjoy helping in the home
– High school girls in the community may need to fulfill a requirement for “chesed hours”
– Post seminary girls may be looking for an additional job to earn extra funds
– Retired women, or women with grown children, may be looking for a job to earn extra funds

In the merit of our efforts to provide the best Jewish environment in the home, may Hashem right away come back to His home on earth – the third, eternal Beis Hamikdash.

– A Concerned Mother

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70 Comments

  • ANONYMOUS

    Thousands of years of Jewish history with a Shiksa in the kitchen and a Shabbos Goy around the corner and all of a sudden we are to frum.
    Ch.info do us all a favor and please dont publish this drivel, or at least attach a name to it, dont post in anonymously

  • Myname

    Dear concerned mother,children are smarter than you think. All you have to do is teach them that different people dress in different ways, and we dress this or that way for this or that reason. There’s no need to ask your cleaning lady to wear a skirt like some frum people do.Just set some basic guidelines ex. no tank tops. Mode of dress is no excuse for not having non Jewish help. Le’hephech, it can be educational.
    Exposing your children to other cultures is going to make them more wordly and confident, as opposed to closed minded and ghetto.

  • moshe

    The Rashab or the Tzemach Tzedek was taken care of for some time by a russian shiksa.
    A pity this all-knowing “concerned mother” was not there to put them right.

  • yitzchok c Jerusalem

    I agree 100% I wouldnt want a goyte watching my precious little girl. If money is a factor just offer a Jewish woman what you would pay a hispanic woman. I’m sure many would be willing to work at those wages in today’s economy.

  • fp

    I have been a nanny for 38years working for many families and seeing so much in homes Parks and elsewhere we cannot judge others but our children are having to suffer we have to work to pay our bills times are hard for us all I made a choice years ago to stay home I found a way to babysit and be there for my children not everyone can do this but know this as you leave you’re children with a non Jew that person is raising you’re child every moment she is with them they watch and learn do you want this for them?how do you know what they do when you’re not looking how can they be trusted?.I have seen them in the park talking on cell phones eating talking to other babysitters I cannot write all of what I haves seen leave it at that please I beg you all try to find another way there are girls Jewish women these are your most prized children and we all get only one chance to raise them

  • Avraham Yosef Follick

    There are many great Gdolim through the ages who have had non-Jewish servants and or employees in their homes. My wife and I have avoided using non-Jewish nannies because we believe that it is not best to do so, but if we had to employ someone to watch very young children, as some families have to do, it would probably have to be a non-Jew. We also employ a non-Jewish cleaning lady when we can. Most of the problems you list with a non-Jewish nanny would also apply to a non-Jewish cleaning lady.

    As for your four alternatives: Children can help with chores, when you have old enough children and they are not in school or doing homework and it is before their bedtime. Not a lot of babysitting time there. The same applies to other’s children doing Chesed hours. They can be helpful, but only for a few hours a week that aren’t during school hours or too late at night.
    Your other two suggestions are the same, find a Jewish woman to be your nanny. There are Jewish women in the neighborhood who do babysitting in their own homes. But as far as finding a Jewish woman who will work in your home or who will do cleaning as well as childcare, I don’t think you will have an easy time finding someone. We’ve looked for a Jewish woman who would do occasional babysitting in our home for us and haven’t had much luck finding anyone. As far as finding a Jewish cleaning lady? I’ll believe it when I see it.
    I can understand that families who need to get a nanny, for whatever reason, would have little choice other than to hire a non-Jew.

  • never understood

    I have never understood how parents of young children will leave their children overnight in the care of non Jewish sitters while they leave town.Is this the best they can do put themselves first and their children secondary?
    There is another issue that is often overlooked, of meat being left unsupervised. When a non Jew is left in the house alone. If the the food is unsealed cooked or frozen can one use it?
    Concerned mother, you are 100% correct.

  • AGREE

    I agree 100%. It is a big problem leaving even Cleaning Ladies in the house alone.

  • Busy mom

    It’s amazing how views are changing. It’s starts first that non Jews should not watch your children & it’s moving now that they should not even clean your house. The Rebbe was very encouraging that women should have help in the house – he even told someone about one should have a Goye to help clean the house. I know for myself – I work part time from home, have a lot of little children B”H, a child with special needs & kids that need a happy & calm Mommy. If I wouldn’t have the daily help in my house I would never manage. Yes kids have to learn how to help – but kids don’t have to scrub toilets & do heavy work. My cleaning lady comes she helps with cleaning, laundry & yes helps me with giving dinner to the kids. I’m the Mommy who takes care of my kids but I only have to hands & there is nothing wrong to have my cleaning lady help feed one of my toddlers or hold a crying baby so I can devote to feeding or talking to my older kids. There is nothing wrong with her bathing my younger kids while I do Homework with the older kids. She is not mechanech my kids but she helps me with my daily juggle.

  • A few reasons why

    Here is a few stories that I witnessed that validates the writers points: 1, I was upstate where one of the families employed a Polish non Jew as a nanny/ cleaning lady. , who she claimed “loved” her children. One day when the nanny was watching the children (while she was by the way away in the city, leaving the nanny with them for 2 days by herself) a older lady who speaks Polish saw the nanny watching the children. Since she speaks and understands Polish she said the nanny that “loves ” the children was cursing the children in Polish which as she realates“ the worst Polish curses that I cannot even repeat to let these words out of my mouth” 2. As to the argument about kashrus i will tell you what happened to me. It was erev Yomtov and I had a house full of guest and was evidently very tired. I had just cooked a huge roast and wanted to pour out some of the boiling hot roast water. I took the pot and poured the boiling water into my MILCHIG sink!!!!! WHy? because I am human and make mistakes. Of course I had to kasher my sink. Point here: I , who grew up with kashrus ingrained in my soul made this mistake. But I knew to correct it by kashering the sink. Now dear readers, do you honestly think your shiksa would even think to tell you about a mistake she made in kashrus. And the argument that you all have “ My goyke knows everything about kashrus ” It’s called being in denial to the facts. 3. And as for singing non Jewish songs: My friend had a nanny who spoke French as she was from Haiti. One day she had a French guest who told her that her lady was rocking her baby to sleep not only with French non Jewish songs but the French songs that they sing in church. 4. My daughter’s friend employs a non jew to watch her daughter while she is at work from 8 to 4 each day. One day when she was out with her daughter , she needed a rest room so she went into a Mcdonalds to use their restroom, whereupon her daughter told her… “oh I went here with x (the nanny) to eat. Of course she was horrified and when she asked the nanny about it ..her response: Dont worry ,, I didnt give her the pork… Just the beef and the fries….. We try so hard to instill into our children souls only holiness and kedusha.. The Rebbe told us not even to expose them to a non-kosher animal. Not even to put the picture of it in their room.. And here we intentionally bring this into our home and into our hearts and soul. I am with you. Get someone to wash your floors and bathrooms etc so they should be clean. But keep our childrens souls and our kosher kitchens holy

  • too extreme

    Agree – a shiksa should not be raising our children.

    As far as housework is concerned, hiring goyishe help has been practiced for hundreds of years among yireim ushleimim , in fact the Rebbe himself recommended to many that complained about being overwhelmed to higher goyishe help.

  • ploinee ben ploinee

    this one is good ……..its all about $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    live rich and pay bobkiss

  • John Doe

    Your concerns are valid, but unfortunately these issues are not limited to the non-Jewish nanny these days –

    B. Tznius – It seems like more and more women and girls in this community are wearing clothing that is grossly inappropriate for a Jewish girl to wear, yet the fact that Jewish girls are continually exposed to a person dressed like this in their own home make it seem okay. In addition, when Jewish men see scantily clad women in their home, it certainly does not add to their yiras shomayim.

    C. Non-Jewish influences – Non-Jewish music is becoming the music of choice in more households, and the walls that used to be lined with shelves of seforim are now dominated by giant TV screens. Parents and older siblings talk about there experiences doing things that a Jew should not do, e.g. about movies, going to bars etc.

  • so grateful

    Gee that’s so helpful. Thank you so much. Thank you for helping me see the error of my ways.

  • Ridiculous

    Do you know of a frum woman who wants to work as a cleaning lady??? For $10/hour??

  • working mom

    What do YOU do, concerned mother???
    Do you work? Managing a home is a full time job. If youre working, someone needs to be managing your home. High school girls, seminary ladies and retired women looking for a little something on the side are not going to do it. Children helping with chores is all on the mother who needs to be on top of them to do it.
    For those of us who need to work, having a cleaning lady in the house is a necessity, not a luxury. And I havent yet met a Jewish woman who will do this work.

    Why write such a self righteous article??? Why publish it???

  • open your eyes!

    The way these children are looked after in the park is absolutely DANGEROUS. The children are left alone to look after themselves. scarey . Parents please look after your treasure appropriately. children are more important then money.

  • Mendel

    I need a Jewish nanny to watch 1 healthy baby from 8am-4:30pm 4 days a week and pay $1000 a month. In the last 2 months, I was not able to find one Jewish person ready to take this job.

    Meanwhile, there are literally dozens of non-Jewish women ready to work for less than that.

    What is the solution?

  • you dont get it no. 19

    To number 19. You miss the point . Get your cleaning lady for &10 to clean your bathrooms. Just don’t use her to dirty your childs neshoma. Everyone is ok with cleaning ladies that are not Jewish. You are missing the point. Or you are just in denial and want to justify leaving your children with a shiksa

  • That-s not all

    Illegals aren’t helpful in the big picture either !
    The paying of wages to illegal workers has a detrimental effect on the futures of the family members !
    Yes it is true !
    The affordability of some services and goods is hard to comprehend !
    Tuition at private schools is a perfect example !

  • Go-ds right hand man

    Oh Mendel # 22 the olution is a community baby care that Manages it’s finances !
    Duh ! Communities exist to improve the quality of life, you shouldn’t have to. Work harder and longer for less ! The economies of scale should help you rsituation !

  • Who cares

    Really a lot of the world is a stoopod waste of time, yet if you do it with your friends,relatives and neighbors it’s kind of fun !
    Don’t hire undocumented aliens !

  • Devorah

    For all those who are defending their non-Jewish help, perhaps for cleaning it is ok as long as they know that you can come into the house at any moment. As far as babysitting is concerned, I worked at home and still was careful to have Jewish babysitter.Yet,one time a non-Jewish cleaning lady took 2 of my kids out and took them to eat at a non-Kosher restaurant. I only knew about it later when my kids told me this restaurant was kosher since that was what the cleaning lady told them…Both of these 2 children suffer spiritually more than the rest of my other children. Not worth the gamble. Think about it!!!

  • SUPPORT JEWISH BABYSITTERS.

    I HAVE NO PATIENCE TO READ ALL THE ABOVE COMMENTS BUT DID READ THE FIRST TWO. TO THE FIRST ONE I SAY REFUA SHLAIMA AND TO THE SECOND ONE I SAY WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE. I LIVED OUT OF TOWN WHERE, UNLIKE NEW YORK WHERE YOU CAN EASILY FIND A NCE JEWISH WOMAN TO HELP WITH HOUSEWORK AND CHILDCARE, I HAD NO CHOICE, AFTER COMING HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL WITH A NEWBORN AND A SICK HUSBAND, I HAD TO HIRE A NON JEWISH HELPER IN THE HOUSE. SHE LASTED UNTIL WE DISCOVERED THAT SHE WAS BRINGING HER OWN MEAT TO COOK IN OUR POTS. I WAS TOLD BY A CROWN HEIGHTS WOMAN THAT SHE WAS IN SHOPRIGHT IN BORO PARK AND OVERHEARD TWO POLISH LIVE INS TALKING TO EACH OTHER IN POLISH (WHICH SHE UNDERSTOOD)SAYING THEY ARE JUST GOING TO BUY NON KOSHER MEAT WHICH IS CHEAPER AND THEY’LL KEEP THE CHANGE. AND THE PARENTS WILL NEVER KNOW THE DIFFERENCE! YOU CAN TELL YOUR KIDS FROM TODAY UNTIL TOMORROW THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE ETC. BUT HAVING A GOY IN THE HOUSE HAS AN ABSOLUTE NEGATIVE AFFECT ON THE ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD.TO HAVE THEM CLEAN IS ONE THING BUT TO TRUST THEN WITH YOUR CHILDREN IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT AND VERY DANGEROUS STORY.

  • Nobody

    People who have left their house unattended for defined amounts of time (to go to work, for example, let alone overnight) should ask a Rav how they have to Kasher their kitchen. It isn’t a question of if, it is a question of how. This is basic halacha.

    That being said, I think the tznius argument is rather silly. You can dictate what they wear, even get them a uniform. What you can’t do is leave them alone in your house.

  • A Working Mother in CH

    Childcare is always an issue. I have always used a Jewish babysitter, with one exception. When my babysitter suddenly needed to return home to Europe, I turned to my very trusted long term cleaning lady to babysit for 2 weeks while I found another Jewish babysitter. I’ve had many non-Jewish cleaning ladies, and I’ve learned to trust my instincts – some will be G-d fearing people, some will not.

    BH, we have had the same babysitter for almost 3 years now, and we are extremely happy.

    There are plenty of older Jewish women in the community who would love to watch your Jewish children for a few hours a day.

    The difference here is that there is a mindset that it’s cheaper to hire a non-Jewish worker to babysit AND clean your house for one set price instead of paying a Jewish babysitter and a separate cleaning lady.

    While it certainly might be cheaper, it’s definitely the longer shorter way.

  • Anonymous

    What about the woman who saved the little boy in Mumbai?Also, just because a nanny or house cleaner might be Jewish doesn’t mean she knows anything about kashrut,etc.

  • CH mom

    I don’t get it & I never will. As a working mother I have NEVER left my kids with a non-Jewish babysitter. I find jobs that cater to my chidrens’ schedule & if they don’t there are plenty of frum women who babysit in their homes & their hours are usually from 8-5/6pm so there’s really no excuse! I’d rather my child keeps catching a cold because they are with a bunch of other kids than hire a private nanny for my house.

  • why not to have non Jewish nanny

    number 32 says it best. Please click on the link

  • RESPECT NON JEWS

    I don’t think you can generalize because every circumstance is an isolated event and you can’t say “all non-jews are bad” and “all jews are good” first of all I would like to say that people are people and a human being is a human being regardless of whether they are jews or non-jews. I believe that the subject at hand it of an extremely close minded cult mentality person who has lost touch with reality and believe that jews are superior on race and color just like the nazi germans used to believe. People are people EVERYWHERE and there are terrible just terrible jews and ultra orthodox jews out there that come across like very pious men who wear all the beard and the hat and they could be the worst criminals on earth and do terrible things to other jews and other human beings and disregard other persons lives. I will dare to say that as member of the jewish community at large I will say that pitty on you for not looking at the reality of the situation…or maybe you aren’t very smart – I do believe that non-jews could be a tremendous asset on helping a tired mother to make a better home,to feel healthy and strong to be able to take a nap and to sleep a little bit while the other children play and could spend good quality time with the children instead of scrubbing bathrooms or even would say that the housekeeper could give the baby a bottle while the other children are enjoying mommy’s attention. And also when the husband’s don’t help to have someone watch the children for a little bit so the mother can take care of herself and go to have a manicure or for a little stroll and know that the children are safe and taken care of – those are important issues to have on mind and a happy mother is a happy home – I don’t see the point of it. You can teach and explain your kashirus rules to the cleaning lady and ask her to be careful and if she is a respectful person she will comply. Look at Leiby Kletzky who went to ask for a favor to a jewish man who ended up killing him – please do not be so close minded and think outside of the box.

    On the other hand,“ANONYMOUS” and “CONCERNED MOTHER” when was the LAST TIME YOU DID A FAVOR TO YOUR NEIGHBOR? the last time that you babysat someone who needed help with her children and how do you think that people would react to your caring. Yes the kashirus and all the religious activities are important but when there’s a dysfunctionality in the household and the mother is overwhelmed and tired or sick because she doesn’t take care of herself how would that affect the children negatively and maybe hurt them even worst and make them hate orthodox jewish life because there’s not a happy home but a home where everyone live in fear and stress. If a housekeeper / cleaning lady could help to make seder in to the home why not?. I think that your concerns are coming from the lack of knowledge you have about orthodox judaism. Raising children is a very demanding job and women need help.also the truth it is that Sandra saved little Moshe in Mumbai. PLEASE AGAIN don’t be close minded. NON-JEWS are not animals,but people like me and jew with a different religion. Learn to respect.

  • awacs

    When we became parents of multiples, we looked – and looked! – for Jewish night help. NO ONE was available in CH. We had to hire help from BP, pay for a car service both ways, and probably pay double what a shiksa would cost.

    I don’t regret doing it. Every cent was well spent. I would definitely do it again. But if we were poorer, what would we have done? Dunno.

  • chaim

    In your problems with a non-Jewish nanny, you described a lot of people in CH.

  • Kashrus

    what about Basar Shenisalem Min Haayin
    Kitchens are probably treif because of it

  • cs

    # 14 I agree with you 100 percent. It makes my stomach turn when I see these non jewish ladies out with the precious kinder; on the phone, texting,giving food with no Bracha but it can also happen if you have a Jewish babysitter I have seen that too. Not to point fingers but alot of todays mother’s go to work full time so they can have 150.00 shoes, 1200.00 baby carriages and the latest phones and high end children’s clothing and I have heard them say that it is easier to go work then to stay home with the kids

  • tough subject

    a cleaning lady can be taught where things go, just like a worker can be taught this is where the paper goes, this is where the toner goes. its the same thing. yes i agree non jewish people should not be watching our kids. i have a jewish nanny who i am bh blessed with! but if you cannot find one , then a working mother can still be cautious about what the nanny does. for example, negel vasser, shema, brooches, etc, these are all things that you do. there are ways to work with what you have. the main things is, that they children should know that you love them, and take care of them, and are there role model of what they want to be. good luck to everyone!

  • Jewish babysitting

    Well, I have a problem with the
    Jewish babysitting groups. The ratio of children to caretakers and the space is horrible. And the babysitters who say “I have a very small group” then you find out later in the year how many more kids they took on one by one without telling you, disgusting.

  • yerachmiel schneider

    BS“D
    You people should get real. Speaking as a single father of 2 k”a“h wonderful children, trying to find competent Jewish babysitter is nearly impossible.

    They would rather shop/”I have a simcha to go to tonight” etc., than babysit and the ones that do babysit complain. My last baby sitter said she would work for $8.00 per hour but would have to charge me $10.00 if she had to cook!

    A Spanish girl shows up for work on time–9:00 sharp, whatever, works like a dog, and is kind to the children.

    So here is the challenge—-Here is an ad: I would pay $12.00 for a Jewish girl to babysit 4 hours a day and I will work her from 12 Av (Aug 1) thru June 2013
    rockmeal@me.com—Put up or Shutup

  • mom

    I had a non jewish lady helping me, when I was in bed rest with my 5th kid. The oldest was 5. I saw “almost” everything she did and guess what just when I did not see she gave treif candies to them, she drove around in her car on shabbos when in truth she said they will go to park. my oldest girl bh told me all of this. Why I’m telling you this is you can’t trust them not because they are bad or anything but they just don’t understand why not or whats wrong with driving on shabbos she can with the “kids”.

  • Rabbonim

    To the author of this article. Please do Teshuva! Please stop judging other people. Every case is unique. The Mishna tells us that we can not judge until we are in that person’s shoes. And nobody can ever be in another person’s shoes.

  • working mother

    why not give some parnasa to the frum women in our community, there are plenty of single mothers with children who can come to your house to clean, yes i said clean or help out with the children, there are plenty of them. I actually hired a frum mother to help me and even if i pay a little more i feel i am doing a mitzvah at the same time

  • rabbi lets not be radical

    many you should lock yourself in a room all day b.c you might get negatively impacted..this is the biggest b.s(besides when are you going to find a super frum jewish nanny(or for you a manny)lol

  • #46

    you’re no Rabbi. Probably not even frum!
    Yes, the Holtzbergs had a non-Jewish Nanny. But she was there in the house. That was her shlichus.
    Why don’t you call a REAL ORTHODOX RABBI, and tell him you want to leave a goy in your house alone with your babies from 8:30 to 5:30 daily. Tell him that she will watch the baby and cook your meals. Then ask him to put his psak in writing and post it on line.

    BTW I am a professional woman, who left the work force for 15 years to raise my kids. I babysat during that time to support my family. Our families grew very close, and now that the older children are getting married, B”H, when I go to their l’chaims and chasunehs, it’s like a family reunion! I was like an aunt to them. There was love, real love, in their lives. I helped then learn Alef Beis, said brachos with them, just like with my own kids, because my own kids were with me after school.

    There are many Jewish women who want to watch your kids. Maybe CHCC can maintain a list of babysitters.
    Find them, instead of looking for excuses.

  • major halachik problem

    If a non-jew is alone in your house for over 6 hours, al pi halacha u may need to kasher your kitchen & all your dishes. Shulchan aruch rules that a person normally eats every 6 hours. therefore we assume the cleaning lady/ nanny made herself some food after 6 hours and your kitchen is now treif. this is a often overlooked halacha with serious ramifications for anyone with a live in maid. there are ways to get around this, i.e. providing her with her own stove, but a competent rov must be consulted.

  • Concerned in MA

    In reference to the “hispanic” help, I have a question. How well does the person understand you? Many are in the catigory of ‘English as a second language’ which means some can barely understand the basics & rely on smiling & nodding to get by while some are extremely fluent.
    Is the problem a lack of understanding? Someone who is well paid & well treated is far more likely, I think, to comply with your directions/expectations.
    Respect & trust are two way streets. Perhaps those who complain the loudest should take a look in the mirror?
    #31…good point. If Sandra Samuel had been treated like a second class citizen because she was not Jewish….do you think she would have risked her life to save little Moshe?

  • Arieh

    Well, every case is unique. I agree with 46. Our nanny is very careful and warns my in-laws to constantly wash their hands and put away fleishig food when our children are eating milchigs. She also warns the children not to touch lights, etc… when Shabbos starts.

  • Nobody

    Of all the responses, the notion that I can’t get a Jewish nanny for X dollars bothers me the most.

    Imagine you were trying to convince someone to keep Kosher and their response was: “Find me Kosher chicken for $2.50 a pound. Otherwise I just can’t do it.”

    You are saying the same thing. Your kitchens are treif, you just fool yourself into thinking otherwise.

    If you have to (#30, #44) there are ways to prevent that from happening to the kitchen (closing off the ability to cook before you leave), speak to a Rav about how exactly to do it. If you don’t care about the issue, don’t pretend it is OK. That closes off the path to Tshuva.

  • another concerned mom

    Just a few weeks ago I saw a shvartze lady walking on kingston ave pushing a baby in a fancy stroller. As I’m about to turn on carroll st I hear a car noisy stop. It was a nes goluy! A little girl on a bike just cross the intersection of carroll and kingston on red the car was able to stop about a foot in front of her. It turns out, that lady with the baby was supposed to be watching her but got distracted. Her reaction? She grab the 2 year old girl and pushed her to the building at the corner yelling at her.
    Yes, it could happened to anyone, but she couldn’t care less. And I know a yidishe babysitter would be more in tune with the children. I do have cleaning ladies but for just that, cleaning. I mother my children and hire jewish people to babysit.

  • Tired of the fighting

    If a goy said, “We don’t want any Jews watching our kids,” wouldn’t we all be screaming that we are being persecuted? What’s that you say? That’s different because we are superior? Oh,I understand now. NOT!!!!!!!

  • Just don-t get you

    I cannot believe the money argument to justify having a non jew watch your children. we are talking about watching your children and cooking your meals when NOONE is home. We are not talking about a cleaning lady. As for the money argument to justify your claim to have a non jew watch your children and cook for you because its cheaper. Answer this: NOn kosher food is cheaper …public school is free

  • To number 53

    To number 53… Did you read no. 14 where she writes how she made a big kashrus mistake but…. she knew to fix it. You write your lady knows everything. THe woman no. 14 knew everything and she made a mistake. Do not have illusions that if your lady made a kashrus mistake she would know to kasher your kitchen. You would forever have a traif kitchen. That is the facts and don’t try to change reality to make yourself feel better

  • mottel

    To #36 you are offensive to baalei teshuvah.
    There are some good points in the article.
    I think you owe an apology to us baalei teshuah.
    Thank you

  • awacs

    We had a Jewish babysitter for a while, when my wife wasn’t home. She was VERY Chassidish. A great disposition. And she treated the children like dolls.

    (She also helped herself to my wife’s checkbook and cashed a few blank checks. But, hey, nobody’s perfect.)

  • Nobody

    #52, we are often concerned in Halacha that the non-Jew will get around Kashrus to be nice to you, not to hurt you. So for example, they may not want to upset you about a mistake, or they may not want to cause you to not have food.

    It has nothing to do with respect. Someone who doesn’t keep Kosher just doesn’t relate to the problem, and can think that they are helping you by not revealing problems. Not to mention cases where they don’t even think there is a problem.

  • Andy

    Using religion to justify your bigotry? I’m pretty sure there’s already a church for that …

  • a concerned 15 year old

    While there are reasonable points brought up here (why not to hire a non-Jewish nanny/cleaning woman)…I believe that many of the circumstances mentioned are rare and in the few. If one does hire a Goy, then they should simply explain to them the Jewish laws, customs, beliefs, etc…It is all about the individual, if they’re respectful (which most of them are), they will honor your wishes, as long as you are respectful in return. We are not anymore superior to anyone and cannot treat anyone as if they are inferior. We cannot generalize an entire group of people–they are human beings with neshamas. Also, I believe Hashem would not like us speaking badly of his creations, specifically the word “shvartze,” which in today’s society holds very negative connotations. Please, remember we are all children of G-d.

  • Milhouse

    #35, #56, #63, Chassidus teaches us that nochrim and bnei yisroel are NOT the same. Go learn what chassidus has to say about it, or ask your mashpia. Hamavdil bein yisroel lo’amim, the difference is as great as that between medaber and chai, or between chai and tzomeach, or between tzomeach and domem. Veniflinu. This isn’t a matter of opinion that you can accept or reject, this is what Torah says, so by definition it’s true and you have to accept it.

    #39, The halacha is that bosor shenis’alem min ho’ayin is muttar; worrying about it is a chumra. Therefore there’s only a problem if we have to worry about substitution. If there’s no reasonable likelihood that the nochris took the kosher meat and left treife meat in its place then it’s not a problem me’ikar hadin.

  • Nobody

    Milhouse,

    The issue is not Basar Shenisalm Min HaAyin. The Kitchen needs to do something about its Kashrus in that circumstance.

  • awacs

    “The issue is not Basar Shenisalm Min HaAyin.”
    So, #66, why did you say the opposite in #39?

    What *is* the issue, then?

  • M Carv

    I can not believe the close minded bigotry on this web site. It makes me sick. This sort of ideology is so damaging to the whole human race. But I guess the human race is not important here….only those who are Jewish and live the accepted lifestyle are important, forget everyone else! This article and subsequent comments are spouting nothing more than narrow minded bigotry and ignorance, it’s shameful!

  • awacs

    To M. Carv:

    I’m sorry you think of our comments as bigoted. However, a non-Jew cannot take care of our children as they are supposed to be taken care of. Period. The end. That’s not saying anything bad about them. They just lack the skill set needed.

  • Tiffany

    Honestly, this is all kind of offensive. To assume that a non-jew wouldn’t take proper measures to follow all kosher guidelines is ridiculous. I am not Jewish but I nanny and clean for two Orthodox Jewish families. (One dad is a Rabbi) and I am so careful to follow all the rules and learn about them. I also am learning jewish songs by choice. You shouldn’t hire any person, jew or not, to take care of your children or house if they’re not capable of learning a few basic rules.