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Open Letter: To the Real Mother of the Child

Your child, about 4 years old, was seen walking alone through Atlantic Center, and out towards the subway station below. My wife noticed him and quickly alerted me. I ran over before he made it through the doors and asked him: “Where are your parents?”. He looked confused. So I asked again: “Who are you here with?”. He motioned with his hand, pointing upwards at the crowd of people who were leaving the mall.

Just then, a middle aged non-Jewish black woman about 10 ft. up ahead, turned around and snarled at me, “I’m his mother!” She yanked your child by the hand, out of the mall, and headed in the direction of the subway landing.

I had a moment of disbelief, and then came shock and horror. I was reminded of the chilling events of last July when Leiby Kletzky was walking just a short few blocks, home from camp. I was reminded of what took place last August when Gloria Suarez, a maid hired by the Chayempour family of Great Neck, abducted their child of 6 months, even making it to a train station, only there to be apprehended. I thought, “Who is the real mother of this child, and how can she be contacted?”

I got a very cold vibe from the person claiming to be the mother of the child. My wife and I both felt there was something very wrong. “If something is indeed wrong about all this,” I thought, “this woman has to be stopped before she disappears onto a train with that child!” That’s when I asked the women if she had any form of identification.

I could have imagined her loud response even before asking her that question, but when I turned to the 3 police officers who were standing there before the steps, asking them if they could prompt her for some identification, her yelling that she’s the mother of your child had only intensified. The police disregarded my request, and – tugging your child along – she walked right by and down the steps.

Describing to the officers the terrible tragedy the Jewish community faced just one year ago did nothing for my case. Instead they went on with accusatory statements, saying my request was fueled by nothing but racism, simply picking on her because she is black, and that if she says that’s her child, there’s no reason to question her.

I answered back saying that “this ‘so claimed’ mother and the child she’s holding by the hand are clearly from two different communities! Aside from his white complexion and his blonde hair, this boy is definitely the child of religious Jews!” I pointed to his yarmulka, his peyos, and his tzitzis, which clearly identified him as that.

Their ‘racial profiling’ argument continued. As if to prove a point, one of them even asked me how many other people I had stopped in the mall to make sure that the children they were walking with were truly theirs. “She claims to be the mother of this child, and she is clearly not! This is a Jewish child.” I repeated.

My arguments went unanswered and so did my requests. Here, this woman was walking right out of the mall, and they didn’t even see basis to question her or to even ID her. She was holding your child’s hand! The police refused my requests on the basis that your child was not crying.

In all the ruckus created, my wife and I were extremely relieved that your nanny immediately turned around, back into the mall where we found you (at the very opposite end.) We hope you can re-examine this event, as the safety of your child is first and foremost.

Please understand the reason for my great concern: your young child was seen walking alone in a very busy, public area with no adult supervision. Your nanny was walking several feet ahead with her back to your child, and I shudder to think what could have happened and she wouldn’t have even noticed. In addition, your nanny claiming to be the mother of your child can create a very scary problem. Had she answered me truthfully that she is the child’s nanny, and not be insisting (and even becoming defensive about it) that she’s the mother, this would have not created the scene that it did.

Sincerely,
An aware community member

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21 Comments

  • Milhouse

    The police were right. To you it was obvious that this woman was not frum and couldn’t be the mother of a frum kid. Had she been the child’s mother you would have immediately seen the subtle signs, both in her dress and her demeanour, and you would not have worried. But the signs that are so obvious to us insiders are not at all obvious to outsiders such as the police. There was no way for them to know that there was anything suspicious about her, and without reasonable suspicion they have <i>no right</i> to stop her.

  • amazing

    everything is blamed on keltzky, remember him? yes we all do but we can not live in fear that any second our children will be taken away and cut up!!

    live and let live the leiby kletzky does not happen every second of every day but car accidents do so maybe you should write about that

  • Bochur

    as long as the kid was in sight of the care taker i do not see what is wrong about this, no reason to scare the mother

  • perspectives

    among other issues, I want to say that I understand that women need to make money and have fulfillment through a job. No judgements, but thats what it is.
    So I just suggest that women try to get trained for jobs they can do from home or when their children are in school. This is way out of proportion.

  • aizeh hu chochom? haroeh es hanoled

    To say this is a racist article is an understatement. I can understand your fear and bewilderment when you saw this child following someone who was identifibly not his mother. But once you saw that the mother was in the mall and the child was with the caretaker, why are you still parnoid? What if it was the mother or the caretaker looked frum? Would you have still contacted the police? Imagine the police would have responded to your to your call. Would you have paid their salaries when this would innevitbly become a racial profiling story and a chilul hashem of massive proportions?

    Anyone who is still concerned do not hire caretakers or babysitters. Stay with your kids so you can watch them 24/7.

  • Shalom

    I am amazed at the misinformation in this posting. I believe that the miscommunication between you and this woman prompted the event to escalate and thus, racial profiling. We are all too aware of the horror that has been done to other children. While we are very thankful that someone ACTUALLY took the time to confront the non-Jewish black woman…please, before posting something, I urge you to write the actual events. Again, THANK YOU for taking action and being concerned.

  • to #3

    the reason he wrote this article is because the caretaker was NOT watching the child properly, she was way ahead, and her back was facing the child… If I were the mother and someone was watching my child I would want to know if my child was not properly watched!!!

  • To #2 and #4

    Hello are you so blind???? There are crazy people in this wold! and yes it can r“l happen to any child on any day…you HAVE to live in fear but you do HAVE to live out of your box and watch your child every second!
    to #4…the author writes that the ”nanny” was 10 feet in front of the child…her back was facing him!

  • hand that rocks the cradle

    Well done to the aware community member…we need more people like you! If you see something, say something…isn’t that right? (Say something to whom???) The police in this case were too blinded by their fear of racial profiling (although it happens every day in hundreds of instances) to listen and act upon a concerned citizen’s report….this story ended well, granted. If it hadn’t, chas vesholom, and you hadn’t spoken up, you’d never forgive yourself….rather err on the side of caution…..mother! Take heed!!! To #2: yes, it doesn’t happen every day…it just needs to happen once to be too many times…as long as it wasn’t you that was affected, you have the gall and arrogance to say that. Go tell leiby’s parents, their son was an isolated,infrequent “incident”, go on.

  • a mother in CH

    Hey, I commend the writer of this letter for GETTING INVOLVED! It’s so easy to just take the safe route, esp when continuing to press your point and express your concern earned you the charge of “racist”. Thank G-D for people like this writer!!

  • Chana

    The police were wrong…they should be educated enough about our community to know what Jewish children and their mothers *usually* look like (although there are many Black frum Jews and Black or interracial frum kids, it’s still not generally the norm)…at least to ask for some ID wouldn’t have killed them and could potentially have prevented a tragedy. BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY!

    Personally, when I was sick and stuck at home, our housekeeper took my kids to the local grocery, and I appreciated that the people in the grocery were concerned and wouldn’t let her leave with them until they called me and verified that the kids were with the right person. I appreciated having a caring community watching out for the welfare of my kids — no, make that *OUR* kids. You did the right thing to at least try to make sure that child was safe! It’s all of our responsibility, not just the parents of the child.

  • Think before you speak!

    I am a mother of a special needs child and I have a non-jewish res hab worker who has been approved and fingerprinted from a reputable agency that takes my child out to the park, museums and when bad weather the mall. While it is ok to look out for children’s safety don’t always assume such negative things. Maybe you could have asked in a nice way if she was a caretaker or a babysitter. We need to show the world that we are not judgmental and that we are a caring and nice group.

  • To #1

    There was definitely reasonable suspicion. Anybody, even not from this community, could see the difference between a black woman and a white child with obviously Jewish religious dress.
    This is just common sense…

  • Sara

    This is about the safety of our children! Why is it becoming about racial profiling? If the ‘caregiver’ was not facing the child and was a number of feet away from him is that not the point in question here? Also, when the ‘caretaker’ chose not to tell the truth (obviously!), why were the policemen (our caretakers) uncomfortable? Kol Hakavod to the writer of this article. May we all learn from you and may you be blessed.

  • thank you

    Why would the caretaker say that she is his mother? Is this her attitude about the child’s parents? #15 How would you feel if your child’s caretaker said she was your child’s mother?It doesn’t sound like the writer of this article was being judgmental-she was being concerned and should have been thanked.
    Did the police ask the child his name or if she was his mother? It seems like the police could use a lot more training in communication, etc,

  • Milhouse

    #14, do you imagine that the police can just stop someone at random and demand ID?! They cannot do so unless they have reasonable suspicion that a crime has been committed.

    #16, there is no reason a black woman could not be the mother of a white child, and that does not create reasonable suspicion for the police to stop her. The reason the author was correct to be suspicious is because we know what a frum lady (white or black) looks like, by her dress, hair, and demeanour, and we would all know that a woman who doesn’t fit the profile wouldn’t have a son (white or black) who looks like a frum kid. She might be a relative, but not the mother. But the police don’t know that, and it’s unreasonable to expect them to be trained to pick out the signs that distinguish a frum lady from a non-frum one.

    To both of you: What would be the point of asking for ID anyway? How would it show whether she was the kid’s mother or not? It’s not as if the kid has ID to compare it to.

  • neglectful mothers!

    if you REALLY loved and cared for children’s wellbeing, you would not hire goyim! of course if all you cared about was their physical wellbeing -that makes sense-like if you need to work so they wear designer clothing, nice vacations, nice house etc. but plz dont say its for their good cuz your in denial

  • nd namirovski

    if you cant watch your kids, dont have them. people live their children with goyim then they wonder why their children are not like they want them.