Posted to Op-Ed on
by Anonymous
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Open Letter: To the Mother Who Left Her Children in the Car During a Heat Wave

Dear Mother,

I am writing this open letter to you because I feel it’s too important for you and your children to ignore what I saw. I meant to approach you and speak with you yesterday, but my utter shock rendered me speechless, so I am reaching out to you this way.

Yesterday, you left your three children inside your car for over half an hour while you shopped in Empire Kosher. I say at least half an hour because I don’t know how long they were there in the parking lot before I arrived.

It was over 90 degrees outside, and I can only assume that it was at least 10 degrees hotter inside the car, where your three children, an infant and two toddlers, sat hot and sweaty waiting for you.

I’m sure that whatever you were doing in the store was very important, but I don’t know if you are aware of what could have happened to your precious children r”l while you were inside. So I have compiled a small list for you:

1. About 40 children a year die in the U.S. alone from being left – accidentally – in a vehicle on a hot day. It was thoughtful of you to park in the shade and open a couple of windows, but that doesn’t make it okay.

2. Someone could have called the cops, who would likely have arrested you for reckless endangerment and instructed CPS to remove your children into protective custody.

3. Since you left the keys in the ignition, a car thief and/or kidnapper could have made off with your car, along with your precious cargo in the back.

When you strolled up to the car after your shopping spree with a full cart, it seemed from your callousness that this wasn’t a onetime occurrence.

I am writing this letter to you with the hope that you will realize your mistake and it will have been the last time.

Sincerely,

Anonymous

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64 Comments

  • 1st to respond

    I think more and clearer info is needed, like how fast death can occur in the condition she left them in. Maybe someone could provide link to more info so all those who read this will see how dangerous this is. Wishing all Busy Mothers and Fathers a healthy Nachasdik summer.

  • Anonymous

    I am sorry but the police should have been called! Safety is first!

  • ahavas yisroel

    The mother placed her children in danger. However, why didnt this letter writer actually do anything? Have the store make an announcement and if necessary take the kids inside?

    • Right

      I was thinking the same thing. Even though it wasn’t a test to see how long mom would be/ how long before the kids get ill, the writer should have done something. Too cowardly? Maybe.

  • student

    thank you for your special letter.
    I do not understand why people have children if they can not keep their safety.
    I wish someone would take it to the attention
    Just last week, a child dies forgotten car.
    And I think you had to say something even if she was angry about it.

  • anon

    It is naive to assume the mother will read this post. Had the children been injured or perished, you could have prevented it by providing shade, calling Shomrim, having the store page the woman.

    Modest confrontation is a understandable but not when the lives of others are at stake. You have to have courage and be vigilant.

  • Yosef

    I am trying to figure out why you, the writer, didn’t seem to do anything but wait, and watch. You had an obligation, it seems pretty clear, to jump in and do something as soon as you saw this scene. What on earth were you thinking, just waiting?

    You should have taken the kids out, stopped the police, or run into the store to have the mother paged.

    Anyone who sees children, or even animals, in a car in the heat, must step in and do the right thing, and not stand idly by.

  • duh

    Dear anonymous letter writer,

    can you please explain why YOU didnt call the police or, at the very least, approached the manager of the store and asked for an announcement to be made for the parent to be responsible for the children before police are called? Because you didnt want to get someone in trouble? wouldnt you feel somewhat responsible if c”v something would have happened? Yet you just watched in astonishment; but sat on the sidelines and did nothing. except write an anonymous letter.

  • Anonymous

    Call child protective services instead of writing anonymous op eds…

  • Don't shoot the messenger

    I’m sorry but the Op-ed write is under no obligation to explain his/her actions.

    Don’t transfer blame away from the abuse and neglect that has occurred.

  • the mother

    my husband was resting in the car at the time, you are a fool for not making a fool out of yourself yesterday !

    Thanks for nothing you idiot

    • ummm

      was the car running with the AC? or they sat and sweltered in the car? you could have killed your husband too…

    • apparently no one cares about the fact

      just goes to show, ppl need things to get riled up, over! as long as you know you did the right thing….

    • Excellent tips

      Why are you being so obnoxious? She didn’t call the cops – should have, because who knows if hubby was in there, but unseen for 1/2 an hour. The windows were open, so a/c probably wasn’t running. A child could have C”VS passed out in the back and snoozing hubby wouldn’t even know about it. And besides, 2 parents are present and you still didn’t take the babies inside for a breath of fresh air?
      Now who’s the idiot?
      You should really reconsider your negligent actions. Because if I see your kids in the car, I WILL call 911, before asking for you to be paged.

    • Appalled

      Police should have been called. I do not believe you are the actual perpetrator. I’m sure the writer would have noticed the keys in the ignition and little kids, she would also have noticed a full-sized man. The mother of these children must be jailed.

  • dude

    guys stop criticizing her not nessecarily did she do something but at least she said { wrote } something

  • RESPONSIBILITY

    the police should have been called! This mother is clearly not responsible! Just imagine what happens at home…this is 100 percent neglect to the highest degree!!! I

  • Phone the Mother!

    I implore you to call the mother in question and explain to her how dangerous her actions were. If we defends her actions and thinks that she was right, than for the safety of her children Police must be called!

  • CH mom

    There is no excuse for leaving the children for that long. How hard would it have been to throw them all in a wagon and shop. I have done this on many occasions and while it is definately a pain it there really is no other option for a mother w no place to leave kids while shopping. Really really negligent on the mothers part.

  • mothers HAVE been arrested for this!

    this has been on the news time and time again- women levaing their children in a boiling hot car- and yes people rightfully call the police and intercept a life threatening situation and the kids were taken away from the parents! We obviously dont want that to happen to anyone but come on, use your common sense!

  • A Mother

    Dear #12 who claims to be the mother:

    You husband’s tolerance of heat is not the same as a child’s. If my husband was asleep in the car, I would insist the air conditioner be on for that 1/2 hour or so that i’m shopping.

    Please don’t ever put your child’s life in danger like that again. If chas v’shalom something did happen, your life would never be the same.

  • shmegegi hoopla

    sooooooooo u just stood there for a half an hour watching them?

    maybe there WAS someone else in the car?

    otherwise the mother shud think……

  • contact the mother

    Please contact the mother directly–you don’t know if she will chance upon this article. It is important that she know that her behavior is dangerous.

  • rivki

    dont call police, jewish children can be put in castody of goim. call SHOMRIM

  • Don't worry, be Orthodox

    The letter writer is no better (if not worse) than the negligent mother. If you see something, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT on the spot! This is the same messed up frum attitude that allows power hungry rabbis to protect pedophiles while we all walk on eggshells. The next time you see this kind of thing, grow a spine and call Shomrim, cops or whomever and save a life!

  • Citizen Berel

    This is very good advice.

    Certainly the police should be called. The Government will take good, good care of the young ones.

    Government loves the children :)

    Your papers please!

    • Papers please, Berel dear

      Better a Jewish Kid in an Ohel Foster home than lo aleinu near the ohel. Understand?
      Was it u snoozing in the car while your wife shopped?

  • serel chana maness

    THE WOMAN SAID HER HUSBAND WAS IN THE CAR WITH THE CHILDREN!

  • Windows?? Husband??

    Were the windows up or down? If they were down, I really think this is overblown—especially since the husband was IN THE CAR!

    And if the windows were up and you didn’t see the husband, then you are as much to blame.

  • my piece of advice

    if anyone sees children in a car unattended, left alone with the car engine on or with the car engine off, it doesnt matter these children are in a dangerous situation speak up call the police or call shomrim Dont watch from afar do the right thing say something
    then write something

  • Come on and be serious

    Who are we trying to fool? If the father was in car the other woman would have seen him. He is definately bigger than the kids and she saw them clearly. It is just someone writing that thinks this a joke which it clearly is not! I wonder what that mother was thinking and when else she leaves the kids by themsleves,

  • CHLEAKS.COM

    “The mother said her husband was in the car with the children”

    How do I know this is true?

    I read it in a comment and look its clearly says
    “the mother”.

    Now how do I know that this op-ed is true?

    I don’t, but even if it’s not a true event, it still carries a true message.

  • don't call the police

    call shomrim
    the police will take away the kid
    and in most situations that is a terrible terrible thing for the children
    you are ultimately NOT helping the child if you call the police
    youth protection usually does more harm than good, they are often insensitive and go about their job like bulldozers without truly assessing what is better for the child, and are often anti-semitic to boot

  • Andrea Schonberger

    Some parents are so irresponsible it’s pitiful. A few years ago I heard on the news about a father who left his child in the car during a heat wave while he was inside an immoral establishment. Luckily someone noticed the child and called the police. The child was dehydrated but survived. The father was charged with child endangerment.

  • in Canada

    Two kids died last week cuz they were left in a broiling lockd car…………………please………..

  • AC was on!

    if keys were in the ignition, can we not assume the AC was on?

  • Shocking

    The writer is more responsible then the mother! Clearly the writer knew better and did NOTHING!!! You know what? This all doesn’t add up…if the writer knew better and was SHOCKED by this she would have done something…someone wrote this to send a message to everyone to prevent something like this from happening…kudos!!

  • Mother

    This mother has no business raising kids. They should be taken away for their own safety. The father was not in the car or he would have been seen.
    The woman should have called shomrim or at least gone Into the store and made an announcement that whoever left 3 kids alone in the car please go get them before they are taken awy from you. This might have embarrassed her somewhat. Do not blame the woman who wrote this article when the irresponsible mother left her kids alone. She is most likely self centered and is only thinking about her own comfort.
    Hatzlocha in everything in the future

  • ATTENTION ALL MOTHERS -AND FATHERS

    THIS IS JUST A FRIENDLY WARNING FROM A CROWN HEIGHTSER WHO IS DISGUSTED WITH THE NEGLECT OF THESE INNOCENT CHILDREN. IF I EVER SEE YOUR CHILD IN YOUR CAR ALONE I WILL IMMEDIATELY CALL 911. I have a relative who was actually arrested for leaving her child in the car alone for FIVE MINUTES. They had to pay a hefty bail to get out of jail and then had to appear in court etc.
    LEAVING A CHILD ALONE IN A VEHICLE IN THE SUMMER IS M U R D E R!!!!

  • Mendy Hecht

    About 15-20 years ago there was a frum woman in Lakewood who simply forgot her baby in the car while running errands. People need to know that car interiors can heat up to life-threatening temperatures in very short times. If you’re going to leave your kids in the car and (only) if you’re in a relatively safe neighborhood like Monsey AND will be mamish in and out of the store, roll down the windows.

  • Maureen

    Mrs anonymous you are just as guilty if not more! not doing anything about it is לא תעמוד על דם רעך” – if i were you i would go into empire kosher and call the mother and if she won’t come than i would call Shmira and Hatzala asap. the mother is plain stupid and reckless but you are cruel for knowing the danger and just blogging about it. coward!

  • Florida

    Just FYI, a frum woman in Fl was arrested last year erev shabbos for doing the same thing, although she was parked literally in front of her car, could see the kids from the cash register, and was in the store for about 2-3 min.

    The cops did NOT care and she spent shabbos in jail.

    This is SERIOUS people. Whether it is true or not doesn’t matter!

  • OMG

    About a year ago, a man took a photo of another person right before getting hit from the train.
    The man took the picture rather then help the person getting hit.
    Lady, if you stud their and did nothing, then it is just the same as the mother who left her children in the car (By law, and halocha).
    Now to the story.
    1) The keys where inside the car, maybe she left the a/c on?!
    2) Windows open, makes it less then 10f degrees hotter in the car. Probs. The same as outside temp.

  • oh sure

    interesting way of making a point while getting hits.

    the story never happened.

    but it makes the point to not leave kids in a car in the heat.

  • CH mom

    2 weeks ago a mom left her children in a double parked SUV on kingston and crown outside the cleaners, i stood by the open window of the car and waited there for 18 min till the mom returned to the vehicle… double parked engine off!!! i was furious!!! i was about to dial 911 which i decided i would do after 15 min and then i saw her…i was soo mad i couldnt say anyything i just walked away without her noticing me..but i saw who she was…and was not shocked at her actions…and i would have no issue reporting her…she does not deserve to have those children..the oldest was 4 if even!!!

  • Yitzchok

    Who the heck leaves keys in the ignition? Even if the husband was there he was asleep. Aparently the mother is “asleep” too. If i see a potentially dangerous sitch too bad if I will make a scene. Its better a little embaressment or a misinderstanding than a lost life. ok #12 lose the ego! If you are the “mother” shes looking out for your kids lives apparently more than you are. If your not the mother you are just a loser troll.

  • Here's a chart outlining how the temperature raises in a car

    https://www.avma.org/public/PetCare/Pages/Estimated-Vehicle-Interior-Air-Temperature-v.-Elapsed-Time.aspx

    While this comes from a veterinary website, the numbers don’t magically change for children.

    Yesterday, 7/8/13, the high was 88F. Based on this chart, with an average of 85F outside, within 30 minutes, the temperature inside the car will have risen to 119F – hot enough to kill.

    Even at yesterday’s low of 72F, in 30 minutes the temperature inside the car would have risen to 104F.

    PLEASE! Your children’s lives are so precious. DON’T LEAVE YOUR KIDS IN THE CAR!

  • Sechel, people

    It seems clear that a woman who took the time to write this op-ed did not just stand outside counting them minutes till the mother would return. It seems that the writer noticed the children in the car upon going into the store herself. She probably assumed that the mother was right nearby, but then upon the store, she saw the car and children exactly as she had seen them when she entered the store! That’s when she became disturbed by it. She says she was speechless and couldn’t bring herself to say anything to the mother, which means she probably caught a glimpse of the mother returning to her car at exactly that time.

    It seems to me a big waste of time and energy to berate the writer, when the mother did so many things that need to be addressed. Even best case scenario–husband is resting and the car is air –you must realize that any small child capable of climbing into the driver’s seat could have put the car in reverse and injured or killed someone, ch”v!

    This scenario is problematic on a number of levels, the LEAST of which is that an observer couldn’t bring herself to say anything at the time, but said it a day later on a public forum.

  • To the mother (#12)

    I am a professional (therapist) and i am legally mandated to call the authorities when a child(ren) is in danger. I’m telling you right now, if i had seen this (i dont live in crown heights) i would have called the police IMMEDIATELY. Yes, they would have taken the children away from you and have arrested you but in all honesty you deserve that to happen as you were highly irresponsible. It seems to me that you need to parenting classes.

  • Anonymous

    If this letter is a “fake”, the writer should come forward and say so.If this is a real letter, I am astounded at the number of people that say do not call the”goyish” police but to call Jewish police. Don’t the Jewish police have the same obligations to call Child Protective authorities? If not,why are they above the American law? We live in America.I’m sure this will get many people angry but I do not live in an area that has this Jewish police system so I have no concept of this.

  • yaci

    if u see kids in a car call 911 right away in a second the kids can die from heat then maybe try to break a window

  • Anonymous

    What the hell is wrong with all of you ??????? Children in a car with a parent in heat that had windows open and had keys to put on air conditioning if they needed it…… Stop the nonsense!!!!!!!!!!!! How pathetic that we are all brothers…. And not one of you were Dan licaf zechus!!!!! Yep we want mashiach now …… Keep waiting!!!! How ironic that this happened in Crown Heights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • responsiblity

    The heat is bad enough, but leaving children alone in a car~just because you’re parked in Empire Kosher lot is a false sense of security. Even if the mother was approached, she would probably have said it wasn’t the other persons business. That’s how most people are around here; especially the younger ones.

  • Anonymous

    Many people say “maybe the air conditioning was on”.How do they know the car even had air conditioning?

  • Shocked

    So many people here are so eager to take away children from their parents and give them to the Gentiles. Bunch of KAPOS, most of you!

  • Anonymous

    I don’t think anyone wants the children to be given to gentiles.They jusy want the mother to take care of her children!

  • Yossel

    Everyone should be aware that even in an idling car with the A/C on, you risk CARBON MONOXIDE POISONING! This is true especially of older vehicles which may be very small, but dangerous, exhaust leaks. Not to mention a colossal waste of gasoline. No one should EVER leave children in an automobile unattended. EVER! A few years ago I saw a couple of small children left in a car with the engine off but the keys were in the ignition. One child turned the key, moved the selector out of Park, and the car started rolling down the hill. Fortunately the inattentive parent, who was gabbing away with a friend, jumped into the car and hit the brake.

  • IN Canada

    Last Month a grandmother was ‘supervising’ her grandson and forgot the 2 year old in a hot car all day. Needless to say, she did not dare attend the funeral, and the police have charged her with criminal negligence and a family has been torn apart due to stupidity, her daughter will likely never talk to her or forgive her, such a tragedy that could have been avoided.

    The sifrei Mussar and CHassidus have no time for irresponsible poeple such as this and know that the blood of such a tragedy is on the head of a negligent parent no less than if you let your baby sit on an open window sill on the 8th floor.

  • Appalled

    You did not have the seichel to go say something to her??? Protecting yourself from confrontation was more important than protecting children? Better they are taken away from her than dead. You are as guilty as she is, I’m sorry to tell you. Your open letter is foolish and ridiculous. Actions speak, not anonymous words. Shame on you. Search her out and confront her.

  • esty

    i dont understand why you didnt call the cops. why do people wait until the kid dies and then oh i guess that mom shouldnt have been left to care for those kids.