39 Comments

• wow!

  Thanks for sharing this! There isn’t anything as clear as a direct quote from the Rebbe. What a shame to think that the leaders of our mosdos chinuch probably never learned this, as evidenced by the tolerance of so many things contrary
  to their values…

• The 4 sons.

  The Rebbe once explained (don’t know where the sicha is) that the reason for 4 sons by the seder night is to teach us that educating children cannot be with a cookie cutter style. Each and every child is different and needs a different approach as to how to educate them to be yirei shomayim.

  There are too many boys and girls that went thru the “system” and are now not keeping shabbos or kashrus. They are not going to be helped by the above letter from the Rebbe. Just like they are not concerned about keeping some of the 10 commandments. This article does not address their needs.

  Then there are many parents who are shomer shabbos and keep a kosher home but they still have a relaxed attitude towards certain things. This article and its approach does not speak to them either. They will still go to movies and hire videos and other things that is not in the ruach of a tomim and tmima. I do not condemn them nor will I suggest that they are to be looked down upon as inferior. Rather I would treat them with love and hope that my behavior will one day influence their behavior not the other way around.

  I believe that Crown Heights has come of age and of substance and now it needs several different yeshivas and girl schools so that we can cater to the many different levels that already exists in our community. Smaller schools also has the benefit that each child is given the attention they deserve and need.

• First Step

  It seems Chabad is split into two groups which are four: Chabad-lite/meshichist, Chabad-lite/anti-meshichist, Chabad-dark/meshichist, and Chabad-dark/anti-meshichist.

  [I’m tempted to use the terms “Rebbe-centered” and “G-d-centered” instead of meshichist and anti-meshichist, but that’s another topic.]

  As much as I disapprove of the practice, I’ve been wondering why I haven’t seen citations from commenters on previous Op-Eds in this series (not that I’ve read them all) who tell us that they know exactly what the Rebbe “demands” simply on the basis of opening a Sefer Michtovim at random…

  Granted, the author seems to be going a bit more than that, citing from the Michtovim a section that is relevant to a discussion of education – but like many other things, it may be understood in many different ways, and it does not provide direct guidance for the present situation.

  As the author himself writes, “I am not going to get involved directly in the pros and cons of this discussion” – so what then is the point of his whole drosha?

  I suggest, instead, as a first step, turning as much as possible back to G-d, becoming more “G-d-centered” in our prayers and in all facets of our lives, especially in education, and becoming ‘dugma chayas’ to our families and communities.

  Once that is done I am confident that a respectable middle ground can be found to better facilitate a genuine, Torah-true education.

• the BEST source

  phenomenal piece! kol hakavod! thank you Rav Raichik! thank you Rebbe!

• The 4 sons again.

  To comment no. 3. The tzad hashave (similarity) between all 4 kinds of chabad that you mention is that like the 4 sons they are all still sitting at the seder table. Which in your case means that they are all sitting at the Rebbe’s table and one way or another are taking their guidance from the Rebbe.

  You are suggesting that one should leave the Rebbe’s table, and begin doing avodas Hashem each one according to his own way of understanding daas Torah and minhagey Yisroel.

• How?

  How do we inspire them to a higher standard?

• The 4 sons again.

  To no. 3.

  The similarity between each kind of Chabad that you mention is like the 4 sons they are all still sitting at the Rebbe’s table and taking their guidance from the Rebbe.

  You are suggesting that (chas v’shalom) one should leave the Rebbe’s table and begin to search derech avodas Hashem each to his own way of understanding.

  I hope that you will realize your mistake and make an about face. nothing personal.

• chl

  this reminds me of why I want to stay in Chabad.
  THANKYOU

• Kan Tzivah Hashem Es Habrochoh

  BH CH has two schools that teach “al taharas Hakodesh”. Send your kids to the girls school on President and Troy or Or Menachem. In these two schools you will not have an issue with “Chabad lite”

  For anyone else that believes that these two schools are not in the best interest of their children there is always beis rivkah, ULY, Bnos Menachem, OT.

  Perhaps that is why the Rebbe said CH is filled with such brochohs. Parents in other communitites do not have that many options and need to settle with what’s available.

• Moshe

  B’H

  I agree with comment number 3, and I will go further: the day we will once again accept to be Chasidim like the others, as was the case before the “Shlichus” became the heart of the Lubavitch movement, we will be healed of the ills that beset us. For a moment, forget about the “Rebbe’s Army”, the “Rebbe’s Soldiers”, the “Rebbe’s Shluchim”, and those “Rebbe-this-and-that”, and refocus on G-d and your Avodas Hashem as Chasidim, and not as “Modern-Orthodox-Chasidic-Jews”, and it will be the first step toward healing. We have enough Shlichus institutions around the world, but what about caring for our own? The same way we develop many mosdos which included not frum-yet families (with some success but also with many failures), we should multiply Lubavitch mosdos aimed at LUBAVITCH and frum yidden. With all that hysteria about bringing back the lost sheeps, Lubavitch is neglecting its own. The result is that there is feeling that it’s not great to be a frum from birth or worse, that being a Lubavitcher with high standards is a crime and old-fashioned, R’L.

• chabad

  Hu? If G-d centered and Rebbe-centered are two different things, then your definition of both G-d and Rebbe is way off the Chabad teachings!

  Also, the above letter is not in any way contradictory to loving each Jew. The Rebbe made a big point of teaching us to be mekarev people to Torah. Not chase vsholom to be mekarev (lower) Torah to people. We need to have standards in our mosdos. Standards that are value based, Torah and Chassidis based. If we stand for everything, then in essence we stand for nothinga

• shlomo

  ut only one things clear! Rebe O”BM always told, don’t explain me,don’t defense me . don’t speak instead me. ! isn’t so? last time i see lot of people any level of education, that exactly do this? why? hutzpa? dumbness?

• LA MORAH

  to 4 sons-the letter is about the moisdos and chabad as a whole not lowering it’s standards. i know personally the deep pain of children going off the derech but everyone and everything else going down is not the answer cvs.i can only speak with knowledge about my own situation and that is i love my kids and dven day and night for them.

• LA MORAH

  moshe,you are way off base,especially since the rebbe placed such an emphasis on slichus.honestly you sound like sarmer from 30 years ago and even the sarmer rebbe acknowledges the gadlus of shlichus now.we have to do a lot of in reach now but one is not a steera to the other.

• Looking for Shlichus??

  Many new Shlichus positions available!
  No need to move anywhere!
  They are in Crown heights!

• so....

  So it still seems to boil down to how we approach the “Lite” folks and how we understand them. I see no place in the above article that wishes them away, says “Lites” are pushing their ways on them, or whatever other negatives were in the original article. Yes, I see a teaching about the subject, but not a slant toward exile, sarcasm, or hatefulness. See the difference? That difference is why some people see a disconnect between the expression and the reception of the authentic principles of Lubavitch, Chabad, Tanya, etc., etc. Maybe we need to take a step back and revisit with our hearts instead of our negativity. Where does the negativity come from? Really,where does it come from?

• out of context

  this is so stupid, really. its not hard to find “excerpts from the letter” to try prove your point for YOU. yes, you are right regarding yourself, so this letter was written to someone like you. as for others, i too can take letters and pick out what i need to prove my case. our rebbie said allot more.

• Milhouse

  The Rebbe was very clear that we have to be “ohev es habriyos UMEKORVON LATORAH”, not chas vesholom the other way around. Under no circumstances can Lubavitch lower its standards in order to bring the Torah close to the briyos. If they refuse to come to the Torah then it’s sad, but the Torah is not coming to them. If someone is less than 100% in his standards we must love him and encourage him, but NOT give him the impression that it’s OK, that he’s still behaving like a chossid, that this is just another legitimate way of being a Lubavitcher. It isn’t.

• i have a black but and eat on yom kippur

  yes, we are to climb always but we cannot fight someone who is on his or her level, even if you think they have gone down you may never tell someone in anger to get higher unless your a friend etc tanya 32. and for all who say they are going downhill,,,,,,how do you know what level they were on before, a black hat does not make you frum, your soul is what does.

• David Abramson

  What is a Lubavitcher?
  What is dark? Or stark?
  My opinion as a BT is that this article gave no solutions it was just an opportunity to have a go at guys who cut there beard or wear shorter Kapotas. Whats the point? It is clearly known that as anash we are losing many kids due to the intensity of the system. The system must adapt to prevent out children from turning away. It may be that we need better educators who can engage better with children without diluting. Rabbi jacobson speaks about the different children Yackov and eisav. The lamb or the goat both has equal potential so let’s stop ignoring our Lubavitcher goats , they need love
  As for current Moydos they need to focus on basis morals which will help with the spirituality needsed for the children

• To #17

  If you are saying that someone’s input is stupid, thanks for the proof that you are not really spiritual. Secondly, you apparently did not understand the point, because others can pick any point they see to support their viewpoint. That doesn’t mean they think the Rebbe said NOTHING else. Who said the Rebbe said nothing else? Please try not to insult yourself by saying another’s thoughts are stupid, because when you do so, you insult yourself and the principles you supposedly stand for. Sorry to buy into the sarcasm trap, but alas, when someone uses insulting language to another, I take offense.

• Request

  Could those of you who went off and came back, could you please tell us what helped?

• to #21 from 17

  are you saying that what i said was stupid was stupid on my part? if not, then what was is? (i assume you are a spiritual human) i do however think that pepole can say stupid things, it does not make me less spiritual to aknolodge stupidity. as i see by your words, you were somewhat stupid in missunderstanding what i said. i said the rebbi taught us much and to just pick out what you want, to prove your point means nothing as i too can prove my point by taking SOME words the rebbie said. i might have not made mysellf clear, i am sorry i hope this was better. again, it may be ok for some but not the ones he is talking about.

• to #22

  for me it was the spirituality that i never seemed to find in the chabad schools i went to. i am not saying there wasent any i am saying i did not see it in that way. i found books and other sects that taught me that jewish religion has spiritualty (yes i know this seems obvious but evrything i saw seemd habit and cult-like) i found that i can have a personal path to hashem on my own level. i am now chabad and happy to be. i embrace the spirituality of it as well as the ritual to get me closer. i try.

• The wondering jewess

  I think what is most helpful in the journey back is to realize that Chabad is not the only derech in avodas Hashem and in connecting to ones’ Judaism. Getting out of the black and white framework that says the only way to be frum or to remain connected is the Lubavitch way was the first step for me to create meaningful Jewish observance for myself and my family.

• CR

  When I first came to Lubavitch more than 25 years ago the thing that attracted me most was that only the Rebbeim of ChaBaD addressed the issue of how a Jew should relate to G-d. No other derech addressed it as robustly, at least as far as I could see. And, unquestioningly, to be considered a Lubavitcher in those days meant an unyielding adherence to those peniminusdike principles. The chitzonius naturally followed from what was contained inside the person.

  Unfortunately, in the years since the Rebbe’s first stroke, that message has been lost. Today our community “leaders” are more concerned with Aguch vs. CL, Meshichist vs. Anti, and Insular vs. Worldly. The importance of ultimately serving G-d, “Dirah lo yisborach b’sachtonim”, is not given the same level of emphasis today as it was then.

  Rabbi Raichik, with all due respect, your careful cherry-picking of the Rebbe’s letter completely misses the real problem in our communities. Merely addressing matters of dress and diet will not fix the gaping hole in the heart of Lubavitch today.

• To Millhouse from The 4 sons again

  I am not advocating that the Lubavitch moisdois should compromise in any which way. I am saying is, that the reality of today is, that not every student will prosper and grow in his or her Yiddishkeit if they are simply thrown into the “system” and pushed thru the system year after year.

  There is a need to create many levels of education and if they can all be run by chassidishe administrators and teachers and still teach the children on their level then that is great. If there is only chabad lite or similar level that will take it upon themselves to educate the children in their way of connection, then that is second best.

  But it is not fair to everyone if a child which is up to listening to goyishe music, who spends hours on facebook, knows every connection on youtube and downloads movies from the internet should be pushed into a class with boys who are really into learning and are not addicted to the internet (or at least not to the shmutz on the internet)and enjoy a chassidishe niggun more than a radio tune. That is not fair neither to the chabad lite nor to the chabad shtark.

  It is time for some people to take their head out of the sand and as they say smell the coffee. Know that indeed we do have different levels, (and it is not based on yichus or money) teach everyone on their level, and everyone will grow and be their own personal best.

• Milhouse

  Of course not every child is suited to learning full time gemoro! Only a fool would claim that. And of course a child who is off the derech, whether just the chassidisher derech or even the Jewish derech, and whether bedakus or begasus, must be cherished and loved, and we must try to bring him back, rather than throw him out like a broken appliance, chas vesholom! That is not “Chabad lite”. The topic, though, is the lowering of standards so that behavior that was never accepted in Chabad becomes accepted as a normal thing, and people who behave that way don’t even realise that they’re doing wrong. They think that one can be a chossid and a frummer yid like this too, and they don’t even aspire to improve themselves. They have to know that, im kol hakovod that they TRULY DESERVE for the good things that they do, the bad things that they do are actually bad, and they must at least aspire to change them one day, or at least look up to those who behave better in those respects, JUST AS those other people should look up to these ones for those things that they do better. (E.g. a person may trim his beard but have better ahavas yisroel and give more tzedokoh than his neighbor who has a full beard; each should look up to the other and aspire to raise himself up to the other’s level, but not chas vesholom to lower himself to the other’s level in that aspect in which he is higher.)

• To MILHOus

  Your #18 comment is Gut Gezokt”

• BT17

  Chabad is great at making people frum but not nearly as strong in helping people to stay frum – when the deeper issues or troubling times hit, Chabad rabbonim rarely have the life experience or insight to address these issues. With many of these issues now affecting even frum from birth families, we’re seeing the same problems manifest. I don’t think the answer (or the Rebbe’s answer, for that matter) is to simply “tighten our belts.” Truth will always be truth and ultimately, Jewish children respond to truth. If our intellect is pure and our hearts are not, then the standards will be irrelevant. I believe the Rebbe’s answer is to expand our compassion. The Rebbe was intensely concerned with the 5th son. The 5th son (and daughter) is among us…
  The other “elephant in the room” aspect of this discussion is how abuse of our children leads them off the derech. Nearly a decade ago, in Rabbi Raichik’s community, a teacher was arrested for molesting children – hundreds and hundreds of children, over a period of many years, it turned out. Eventually, help was given to the children. But the first round of discussions mainly demonstrated concern for the pedophile’s kashrus in jail. This is a knee-jerk reaction – well within the Lubavitch FFB Rabbi’s comfort zone. The other, the ikkur of the issue being compassion and concern for the CHILDREN who were spiritually and emotionally destroyed on so many levels, was slower in coming. Now, we are entering a new era, with the recent psak from the Crown Heights rabbonim concerning abusers and child abuse. (See CrownHeightsWatch.com) Why is this relevant? Because the correlation between abuse and lessening of frum standards/going off the derech is astronomical. There can be no discussion of the current state of chinuch without taking this into consideration. Keep standards, but more the point, what ahavas yisarel, chesed, and empathy are you adding to the schools? This is where Chabad can truly stand out in leadership and adding more light.

• to # 3

  The reason for the unfortunate amount of kids that come out of our system “damaged”, has nothing to do with the high standards that are or should be in place. Rather, it is solely due to the wrong approach, apathetic attitude, unfocused efforts, unprofessional educators, and worst of all predators that are not overseen and properly dealt with, who are all rampant in our schools (I hope that the latter is the least quantitatively). All teachers (and staff) must be put through a training course on how to educate children while imparting confidence and a love for G-d, Torah, The Rebbe, Chassidus etc – and they have to know that if they prey on our innocent children emotionally, psychologically or sexually, that they will be severely dealt with..

• To #31

  I would love to watch how you educate your children

• To 32

  And you are clearly one of those unprofessional, deficient educators who infest our system! From Rabbonim who are utterly dismissive to halachic sha’alos (I have experienced this first hand) to “melamdim” who publicly berate children in class who have trouble understanding an inyan it is small wonder so many have taken a Forget You attitude to CH.

• yaakov shallman

  I completely agree with Rabbi Raichik about the importance of maintaing our standards as described by the Rebbe. Frankly, I think every jew on the chabad spectrum agrees too. However, he did not address the issue at all. The question is not whether we can compromise our standards – we all agree and are familiar with the approach of our Rebbeim to keep our standards intact.
  The question that the original chabad lite article raises is whether associating with and including people that are currently not living up to the holy chabad standards poses a threat or in some way dimishes the standards set by our Rebbeim. This is really the issue that has to be addressed and discussed.
  Personally, I don’t think there is any threat at all – we have to trust the eternal truth that chabad stands for and trust that ultimately it will be this truth that will stand us in good stead. Being inclusive in a non judgemental way and teaching our kids with honesty about the challenges of life will be the tools to help us hold strong and maintain our standards.

• Never misses the opportunity

  As always, Rabbi Raichik never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity. Its why the 150+ young couples in SoCal love and respect him so much.

• What?

  #17, I do not understand your point, or your spelling, or your grammar; therefore I can not respond to either of your comments. Sorry, no offense. I just wish that if you want others to understand what you write, you check your words. I hope you were taught that in writing class one should always proofread before publishing. If you weren’t, I offer that lesson as a teacher.

• To #31

  Thank you for understanding that the issues are complex. Thank you for understanding that what can go on in our schools can damage young people for a lifetime. Thank you for reminding us of the hypocrisy that can exist therein. Thank you for reminding us of the ignorance of ridiculing young people. Keeping those pathetic educators is such a pathetic situation, and yet these very people are ones with the charge of preparing us for the future. And people wonder why some of us turn away? I wonder how the leaders of the educational system enable this horrendous situation. I am angry and hurt. I do not want to be part of a group who hides behind a name without healthy action. I have been abandoned for the sake of hypocrisy and saving face. That is wrong at every level. And if they do not know that, then they are not Lubavitch,Chabad,teachers,menches, representatives of the Rebbe, or anything else they claim to be as positive role models. They are destroyers. Thank you for understanding.

• Come on, Y-all!

  Put a little love in your heart (and in your communication)! What are we about? Can we express ourselves without sarcasm and intolerance? It looks like some of us need a good dose of time out to reflect and daven. As I asked, what are we about?

• Phyllis Mann

  There is a saying….“Principles above personalities”…What does this exactly mean? The principles of the Torah are the truth…they are real. The principles of The Rebbe are the truth and are constant…neither ever changes. When the personalities…the egos and arrogances..self righteous judgments come infront of those principles…THAT is what seriously confuses and angers everyone, especially young people. Children and young people seek the truth…always. And when they see hypocrisy, when they are embarrassed and called out in front of others…when they are judged by the same teachers who they see not walking the walk…why should they stay? Why should they respect them if they themselves are shown no respect? The Rebbe NEVER threw anyone out! His sincerely loving and seeing the good in everyone is what brought so many back to the truth. Unfortunately, people are just people. Even the “rabbeim” put on their pants the same way. Shame on them for not doing The Rebbe’s work. Shame on them for not putting children before their own needs; their own agendas; thier own grandiose authority. Children have rights…the right to be safe especially in schools. And not teaching a child according to their own way…not recognizing their individual talents, but wanting them to be little robots is what has ruined so many. If the essence of each child was actually appreciated, then it would be evident that there are those who have more desire and capabilities to learn and there are those who want to develop some other side of themnselves. Get married…have a lot of children…but how will they earn the living that it takes to raise them???? How will they put food on their tables and pay for a roof over their heads? Instead of steering them like cattle, stop judging those who want to do it differently. nnection with the Al-Mighty is what is needed to be emphasized. “Put more faith into G-d then you do in your fellow man”. Simple…yet easily forgotten! People will disappoint us…G-d gives us what we need, even when we don’t want it or don’t know how we will handle it. Who is anyone to judge? We are certainly not G-D! The Rebbe wanted us to have ahavas yisroel…and to do more acts of kindness. It isn’t kind or loving to throw a child our of school. It isn’t kind or loving to make victims the victimizers! Ten years ago, the Chabad Los Angeles community had a golden opportunity to be a shining example not to just the Jewish Day schools and Yeshivas in Los Angeles…but they had an opportunity to stand strong and create a zero tolerance for child abuse. They missed a huge opportunity that would have had a ripple effect throughout the country and the world. This I beleive with all my heart! What did they do instead? They masked the issue and now there is a wanted fugitive that they sent away so they wouldn’t have to deal with it. They did this so that their daughter’s could get the right shidduch…So their “name” would not be tarnished. Shame on all of you who continue to judge and continue to speak about others when you have not walked in their shoes! And remember…people who are searching for the truth are not just a bank account. May it be thy will that in the end, everyone faces their own judgement day!!!