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Op-Ed: Confronting Shlichus Addiction

by Boruch Y.

The other night I received a call from a friend. He was very conflicted and under a lot of stress. He works for a company and receives just enough money to cover his most basic expenses. Worse yet, he sees no room for growth within the company.

He would like to move on, yet what if he launches an entrepreneurial bid for success and it succeeds? Sounds great, no? He wasn’t so thrilled to contemplate such an eventuality because if he would launch a business and it would succeed, and then a shlichus opportunity would become available, would he have the wisdom to make that proper life-crossroads decision? This gem of a human being suffers from paralyzing insecurity in silence. A misplaced insecurity, I may add.

This person’s struggles aren’t unique in Lubavitch today. This widening crisis that isn’t adequately addressed festers and festers with many negative consequences. Many yungerleit have this image in their mind that was painted early in their yeshiva years that one should always strive to pursue shlichus, irrespective of suitability or eventual shlichus availability. When was the last time a mesivta requested an accountant to farbreng with their bochurim? Doesn’t it matter that he can positively influence the bochurim being that he is ibergegeben to doing the Rebbe’s inyonim when he can, and truly is a chassidishe yid?

Yeshivas mean well, and try to give of their best to the bochurim, yet the Yeshivas must refocus on instilling darkei hachassidus and yiras shomayim. They must address the avoidah of a baal esek as well and not only avoidas hashluchim. Every free moment of a baal esek ought to be Torah, Chassidus, kvius itim and mivtzoim. This is what we must impart to bochurim and with siyata dishmaya, the rest will fall into place. That is what we stand for; true chassidishe yidden of the likes of Reb Yitzchok Nemes, Reb Zelig Katzman, etc. Though they were businessmen, they never missed an opportunity to be involved with Mivtzoim, and thus served the youth well in modeling a chassidishe yid.

Shlichus is a very convenient way to bring the Rebbe nachas etc. but is it the ultimate mission statement of a chossid? Is it either shlichus or modernity? Of course the yeshivas don’t teach that, but many of their students draw the conclusion that if they already have nothing to show for themselves in their ‘ruchnius portfolio’ they may as well refocus their energy on creating an impressive gashmius portfolio. Yeshivas must begin building deeper foundations to ensure that the primary message isn’t being lost on their students.

Once married, the yungerleit that are still optimistic about finding a shlichus by the time their year in kollel is complete, see no clear direction while in limbo. Do they take a job after months of fruitless shlichus hunting? A shande oif di gantz mishpacha! The emotional damage experienced by these fledgling mishpochos are heartrending. Why should wives suffer with an insecure husband who constantly laments that he’s a shmateh unless he finds a shlichus? A husband ought to be vibrant with a real joy that he has the ability to bring home parnosso. If he exerts enough effort to convince his wife that she married a loser, she’ll start believing him! An eishes chayil would respect her husband if he had a strong willingness to work hard, remain very committed to chassidishkeit and yiddishkeit, etc. so long as he is willing to applaud his own accomplishments and to display a sense of pride and self worth.

If a yungerman is in a perpetual state of “seeking a shlichus” and he refuses to [at least temporarily] entertain other ways of serving the aibishter (i.e. earning parnosso whilst keeping all of the values of Chassidishkeit and yiddishkeit intact), his fixation with shlichus must be treated as any other addiction. An addiction to shlichus if you will. At first one ought to be strongly fixated with shlichus if that’s one’s passion. However, as months roll by and it starts becoming apparent that the fixation is causing much harm to the family, how is that not an addiction? I’m convinced that if Rabbi Twersky (famous addiction specialist) was aware of Chabad yungerleit’s excessive obsession with shlichus, he would classify this addiction as such. I find it important to reiterate that I am a big fan of shlichus and applaud those who pursue it with much sacrifice, but after how many years of meeting no success at shlichus placement does this pursuit stop being a virtue?

This Op-Ed reflects the views of its author. It does not necessarily reflect the views of CrownHeights.info or its Editors.

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40 Comments

  • ex ch-r

    Well said and very well timed… Hazman gromo when we are at the precipice of a massive (ka”h) influx of shluchim and an extended weekend of nothing but the glorification of shlichus which can be a time that many who werent zoiche to start thinking that maybe if they hold out a little longer they too will be one of them

  • Beis Rivka graduate

    So true! Sometimes the chassidishe businessman is doing more mivtzoyim yhan the modern Shliach. But this is not recognized and causes much stress to the aishes chayil whose shlichus dream( opening a Chabad house) was not fulfilled exactly how she dreamed it. Yet her husband is an example and Shliach more than the local Shliach- there has to be more credit given to these upstanding yungerleit who put in a hard days work and then continue as a Shliach in the evening hours by learning with others etc…shabbos meals with students not frum yet etc

  • Moish

    About time that there be a chasidishe anash whi dont go on shlichus but rather form the core of our anash communities across the globe & stop allowing modern forces to take over our shuls & schools

  • Tayabrider

    Lchaim ulvrocha to the writer and all those on their own shlichus, official or not, kinnus goer or not, doing what Hashem created you for…Keep up the good work everyone. There is a Baal HaBoss in this world.

  • CH-er

    This article makes some very valid points, but has an edge to it! The very name of the article has an edge! It appropriately addresses the fact that yungerleit need to face the reality of their family’s situation and realize that although they may have wanted Shlichus, there needs to be a plan B if it doesn’t work out. I also strongly agree with the fact that Yeshivas should teach our boys how to be a Chasidishe Baal Esek as well as prepare them for going out on Shlichus, as we all know that not everyone is going out on Shlichus. There should not be an either/or situation of Gashmius or Ruchnius(Shlichus) portfolio.
    But…to call the wish to go on Shlichus an addiction is disrespectful to the Rebbe and extreme!! What it really is can be called “unresolved internal conflict”.

  • Shlichus not for everyone

    What these people do not realize that they can be shluchim when they are in business also. You can speak to colleagues about tefillin, kashruth, shabbos, etc.
    Yeha, you don’t have the chabad house or you don’t have to raise funds, etc but you can be just as successful.
    I have been in the business world for quite a few years & I managed to get people to put on tefillin, explained kashrus, sheva mitzvos bnei noach, etc & I have been quite successful.
    Not everyone is going to find an officiak shlichus so people have to wake up & say ok i’ll get a job or go into some kind of business & make sure that an integral part of this occupation involves shlichus with my colleagues & others.

  • z.l.

    But my child’s shidduch!?! Who will want to marry our bochurim if they aren’t the best? There will always be some condescending attitude towards those who don’t call themselves shluchim.. Let’s not fool ourselves. Our dogmatic lifestyles have led us to focus on “shlichus” “chassidishkeit” and various other stigmas. Meanwhile the many of those in lubavitch have completely forgotten about real life. That is, life’s difficulties as they present themselves. Ironically, this article reffers to shlichus as an addiction.
    Well addiction just happens to be one of those “issues” that get slipped under the rug in our community.
    Quit fantasizing. Get a job. Those who should get shlichus will in fact do just that. Everyone else, provide for your families some other way. Don’t worry, your’re not bad if you don’t go on shlichus. Hashem’s plan is always better than ours.

  • rivkie

    well written, i also think nowadays many young people want shlichus but there simply are not so many shlichus positions available..and not every person is going to make a good shaliach. there are plenty of shluchim in a wrong position who cause a lot of suffering to people…that is a matter for a separate discussion. But in general the main thing in life is yiras shomayim and middos tovos. shlichus is not the only way to serve Hashem. a person who earns a proper parnassa, can give tzedaka and do good in his life is also a shaliach. everyone can be considered a shaliach in their environment and on some level. so i agree students need to see an alternative to shlichus and they dont have to be looked down at or made to feel worthless if they do not choose the shlichus path…especially nowadays when there are not a lot of positions left in the world for official shlichus.

  • Is this Lubavitch?!

    Words cannot describe the pain caused by reading this op Ed, I will not even get into it’s contents but one thing for sure:

    If this article was written 20 years ago (bechaim chyusoi of the rebbe) and printed in a public manner, the only newspaper that would print it would be the Yated nemman (a vigilant anti Lubavitch magazine), the fact that a Lubavitcher can write such a article and subsequently post it on a Lubavitch newssite, brings out in a striking manner, how deep in golus we find ourselves in a time where everyone does and says what they want, and the worst part of it is that they dont even have “yedias hmachla”. Umisaymim betov

  • Boruch (the author)

    To CH-er:
    If I disrespected the establishment of shlichus I bet mechilah full heartedly, but I think you misunderstood my use of the term addiction. Addiction is really another word for fixation. Some things are good but when one becomes fixated upon them they share the qualities of addiction. For example, four lchaims at a farbrengen is great. 8 lchaims with breakfast is an addiction. The fact is at a certain point the pursuit of shlichus can hinder the functionality of a mishpocho which probably isn’t what the Rebbe wanted.

    It’s like some people are ‘addicted’ to giving tzedoko and you shouldn’t take money from them. [Unless you are insanely rich] up to 20% is a huge mitzvah to give and 10% is mandatory but some people have no discipline because of the greatness of their hearts and though they only make, say $30,000 a year, they give $10,000 to tzedoko. They will get gan eden for having the greatest hearts, but their good quality of chessed becomes a liability when it comes at the expense of their family.

    What really bothers me and motivated the writing of this article is that it seems that Lubavitch became like the times before the baal shem tov again. Back then there were the talmidei chachomim and then everybody else. Today in Lubavitch, it seems like we are retreading that road when we celebrate the Gvirim and Shluchim, yet the baal esek who’s struggling can’t get any time of the day. There is so much a [genuinely] Chassidishe yungerman can teach our youth whether he is a Mashpia, Chabad House Shliach or a plumber.

  • Chatzkel

    Side point: There is no such word “yungerleit”. It is a yungeRman in the singular, but yungeleit (without an R) in the plural.

  • To #14

    YOU are the essence of the sickness.

    The author has written what has been on my and everyone else’s mind for the last 5 years.

    It’s about time somebody had the courage to speak out publicly about it!

    Here is the deal, Mr or Mrs or Ms or whomever you are:

    The Rebbe did NOT send everyone on Shlichus, the Rebbe SELECTED certain people for this. As for everyone else, it’s Avodas Hashem, Yiras Shomayim, Mivtzoim and EARNING AN HONEST LIVING. (and being a “mentch”)

    The Mashpi’im who instilled this “everyone must go on Shlichus” syndrom are the ones causing the Rebbe pain.

  • 22

    The Rebbe almost never selected anyone to go on shlichus the way it worked is you would ask for a borchah to go on shlichus and the Rebbe would answer Brocha Vhatzlocha that was it (or some other answer) There were some rare cases where the Rebbe asked specific people to go a shlichus mostly in the earlier years later on it was very far and few in between

    The times that the Rebbe selected the Shluchim were the Bochurim Shluchim going to Eretz Yisroel and and othere places

    The Rebbe spoke many times about what aauses him pain (Machlokes, Bochurim not being Shomer Sedorim, etc.) and it was never that there were to many people who wanted to dedicate their lives to spreading yiddishkeit THAT WAS THE REBBES GOAL THAT EVERYONE SHOULD SPREAD YIDISHKEIT

  • The system will kill itself.

    One of the best descriptions of “the shlichus system” that I have heard is explaining it as a ponzi scheme. The basic idea being that along time ago there were plenty of not frum people to mekarev and plenty of money so everyone was happy and shluchim were able to hire other shluchim, but now that there are not as many willing “mikuravim” to chabad and for sure not as many places with out shluchim, the scheme is coming to an abrupt end and can not grow anymore or it will collapse. This is how a non-lubavitcher explained it to me roughly.

  • antonio

    to #14

    Dont be a nahr today is not 20 years ago, if the rebbe was with us begashmius today yesh oimrim he would have written this article.

  • Long-time Shliach

    As a long-time shliach, I commend the author on his heartfelt article. The Rebbe often said that every single Jew is G-d’s shliach, something that must always be borne in mind.
    At the same time, being the Rebbe’s a shliach is, in fact, a singular zechus and carries with it an awesome obligation.
    No, not everyone is required to be such a shliach, but it is something that bochurim should aspire to, while at the same time not disparaging other forms of a Jews’ singular shlichus. To berate a mashpia for desiring that his charges eventually become shluchim, is like berating a Rosh Yeshiva for his desire that his talmidim become true lomdim. However, it behooves mashpi’im to realize that not everyone will eventually “go on shlichus,” and therefore they should encourage their charges to realize that whatever their eventual circumstances, “harbeh shluchim laMakom.”

  • CH-er responding to Baruch the author

    I appreciate your clarification that you did not intend to be disrespectful. The points you make in your article and comment reflect your genuine concerns. I totally agree with the points you make about the time before the Baal Shem Tov. Yes, we need to recognize the importance of being a Chasidishe person, as well as responsible to provide for one’s family – whether a Shliach or not.

    Connotation here is the key!! The word “addiction” generally connotes something negative. You apparently did not mean to put Shlichus in a bad light. It was just the wrong choice of wording.

  • On Shlichus

    The Baal Esek supporting a Shliach or Shluchim gets as much or more Schar
    as they do. #18 is correct .

  • Shliach

    I think that a person who saw the special attention that the
    Rebbe would give to Shluchim and understands the big zechus
    Of “shluchoi shel odom kemoisoi”, that is enough of a reason to
    want to make sure that he ends up on shlichus instead of being in
    business. And to #14, people used to curse out Shluchim who went
    on shlichus before gimmel Tammuz also for leaving ch etc.

  • Mi hu shliach

    To #24 Please give me break.

    Every Lubavitcher is a Shliach – period!

    We all have this “singular zechus” and “awesome obligation” so please get off your high horse and stop pounding your chest.

    We open our homes to Yidden for the whole Tishrei in crown Heights

    We are constantly having guests over for Shabbos etc, Pegishas etc and the real proof is that “Shluchim” send themelves, their mekuravim, baalei batim, and even their own kids here for inspiration.

    We are constantly giving Tzedaka, with an open hand, to this or that Chabad house etc., we go on Mivtzoim and Mivtza Tanks, hand out Shabbos candles, put on Tefillin and give classes etc

    I can’t tell you how many times we have had to counsel Shluchim’s kids and/or fix “real” shluchim’s screw-ups with people.

    There are many fine Chasidim in every community who earnestly do the Rebbe’s inyonim, many times surpassing that of the “official” Shliach

    So please, we all are the Rebbe’s Chasidim and we all have this zechus of being “such” a Shliach.

    In fact, every resident of crown heights etc should be given a special invitation to the convention. WE actually deserve it.

  • Shliach Oseh Shliach -A new Model with a

    A new model which is a win-win should be encouraged by Shluchim office & adopted by shluchim. A model that would fulfill the dream of Shlichus with the practicality of a parnnosah.

    Encouraging CH yungeliet to go start a ‘kli kodesh’ business (sofer stam, mohel, book store) in the Shliach’s local area becoming Chabad BaalBatim but as working person, and then are given a title of “Assistant” “Associate” Shliach and share in the workload of Chabad Hse activity as well the “glory”,

    This model works in a few cities , quite strongly in Paris under the auspice of Rabbi Aszimov.

    If this was more widespread it would spread the Shliach’s work around and bring more ppl into the fold. Even more so, it would fulfill the dream of Shlichus with the practicality of a parnnosah.
    Am sure there can be individual variations of this theme in different communities.

  • Dear shliach (27)

    “Rebbi mechabed ashirim”. Hey, we should be telling youth they have to become gvirim, right! Each and every last one of them.

    Also, To be talmidei Chachomim is very important, so lets start denigrating every person who isn’t, right? Comes Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov and unites all Jews under one single class. Shluchim are amazing… that’s not what is being discussed. When yeshivas teach that you are a “farmer” and “void” if you don’t go on shlichus, they are practically saying one of two things; A) Please fry out one by one so that we can reasonably assign the remainder on shlichus, B) Please allow us to taunt you with a job we’ll never offer 90% of you.

    How is it mathematically possible that the thousands of Lubavitcher bochurim should all have the zchus to be shluchim? It’s not! What IS mathematically possible is they can ALL become chassidishe yorei shomayim, who assist shluchim / do their own mivtzoim etc. That should be the focus.

  • We have degenerated into idiocy

    Arguing about who is better and who is worse is completely ridiculous! Its a subjective choice, Evryone must use their skills and abilities to bring yidden closer to yiddishkeit in whichever work they are able to do. The fact that the Rebbe chose some people to go on shlichus and others not, makes no one better or worse, it just means they have different missions. This complete lack of appreciation of every persons unique value is destructive and comes up many times in Chabad society. The Rebbe didn’t make an army of carbon copy chassidim. So why are we trying to make ourselves that?! We have degenerated into idiocy.

  • Avrohom

    A commentator mentioned that one should have a “plan B”, I say that finding a Parnossoh should be “Plan A” and Shlichus “Plan B”.
    I am a Yungerman, a few years out of Kolel. I also felt unaccomplished when reality hit me, and I realised that I would not get Shlichus (a symptom of the broken Shlichus system, wherein the unqualified get the positions and the “unrelated qualified” remain in Crown Height and termed by Shluchim “Farmers”). I got a job working in a grocery store. Working in a grocery store did not make me feel great, but I was able to feed my family.
    Getting a job should be the norm, and Shlichus the exception.

  • Y.R.

    To #24 while I can appreciate your feelings in this area, I would have to say from the tone of your comment that you would he part of the problem. Shlichus is indeed a gray thing to he doing, but for someone who is not doing it and working instead, it is Better for him to be a working man, then a shliach. And its not tha he just “wasn’t” zoiche to he a shliach. That’s elitism and it makes me sick and disgusted.

  • Social Services connected to shlichus

    I can see the need and placement of shluchim double in a very short while if there would be co-operation. That is that Chabad can get into many new areas of social services. Chabad is already doing that with friendship circle, smile on seniors, and some other social services. Once a person has a job an a social service area he is already involved in the community and will be doing shlichus. There can be a Chabad Volunteer Service org. or if someone wants he can do a Jewish Volunteer Service program in his city and will have lots of work and opportunities to get involved in shlichus. Existing shluchim need to co-operate and let this happen.

  • Chabad Munt Pnimious

    The main problem is Lubavitch has become very superficial. During a long period of intensive learning of chasidus I realized something. After learning many mamorim and sichos of the Rebbe, spanning decades of the Rebbe publicizing and inspiring Chasidim to the Chabad vision, I decided to learn Sefer Hashlichus (which is a great sefer I recommend shluchim and anash alike to learn). When I learned through most of the sefer, it occurred to me the sefer is so short considering how much focus there is on shlichus. Five or six volumes could be published if the focus is on what an ehrilicheh businessman should focus on. The sichas and mammorim where the Rebbe focuses on tardos haboreh, being kovieh itim, the haroyas we should learn and take it into the everyday corporate world, what an ehrilicheh and chasidisher yid should focus on is vastly greater than the focus the Rebbe put on hafotzoh.

    The velt turned Chabad into an outreach program and we bought into this narrow definition of what the Rebbe stands for. No doubt hafatzah is a key focus of what we should all look to but Chabad thought and practice is much grander than this limiting scope of our mission.

    It is much easier for the masses to admire the new state of the art $50 gizzilion dollar jewish community center that was built 100 or more miles away from where you live and has little impact on your life. I can’t remember the last time someone looked enviously at the elderly baalhabus that heads out of his home before 6am with talis&tefilin in hand learns chasidus with his chavrusah before daavening with an ol of being at work at 9am. This yid never misses a minyan, is a degumah chaya to all his work colleagues and clients of what a mentch should be, etc. etc.

    IMHO, most of us have lost the plot. Yaakov avinue lo mes means learning his torah and keeping his legacy alive. Learn Toras Menachem in its purity and forget all the social peer pressure of what the Jonses are telling you of what a Chosid should be.

  • work is good

    Treat finding a Shlichus like trying to find any other career. Set yourself a time limit, like until you end your year in Kollel, and do everything you can to find a Shlichus. Meet with Shluchim, talk to your friends and build a network. Don’t just sit around waiting for a phone call. Do something.

    And if it doesn’t work out by the time you said it should, then stop. Apply that same energy to finding something else and let that be your shlichus.

  • case in point

    I just saw something that inspired me. Some Lubavitcher driving a big old white commercial Dodge van in Crown Heights (apparently a baal esek) with a farbrengen of the Rebbe playing on his stereo system. Didn’t seem he was rich or A plus rated by shadchonim but it was very impressionable. Good Shabbos.

  • a shliach

    Very important article and point being made, though i disegree with the packaging.
    An addiction is for negative thing, an addiction to Chessed for example is a good thing.
    that said, the language needs to change. instead of everyone needing to go on shlichus, everyone needs to recognize that whatever the hashgocha elyone wants them to end up doing, official shlicus, working in a grocery, or an accountant, they are a shliach if that is thier frame of mind. true they wont get a seat at the kinus hashluchim, (that is reserved for people doing it full time) but they are the rebbes chossid and shliach. so yes, farbrengens saying shlichis (full time) is the only path to hiskashrus, are not healthy. Farbrenging about being shassidishe yidden, whatever path in life we take, should be the new langouge
    a shaliach (full time) who has been singing this tune for a while

  • nice story

    An old man lived alone in a village. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison.

    The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:
    Dear Son,
    I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren’t in prison.
    Love,
    Dad

    Shortly, the old man received this telegram: ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dad, don’t dig up the garden!! That’s where I buried the GUNS!!’ At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.

    Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

    His son’s reply was: ‘Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad.. It’s the best I could do for you from here.’

    So it doesn’t matter where hashgocho protis places you, you can always find your shlichus…