Family, what does it mean when we say this word? Is it just a name for people who happen to be our parents or siblings? Is it a way to refer to those who share our blood with whom we speak to on occasion? Or is family a network we need to lean on in times of crisis or tragedy?
Letter: The Lesson I Learned from my Younger Brother
Family, what does it mean when we say this word? Is it just a name for people who happen to be our parents or siblings? Is it a way to refer to those who share our blood with whom we speak to on occasion? Or is family a network we need to lean on in times of crisis or tragedy?
As I sit in the air, 31,000 feet above the Atlantic Ocean, I reflect on my recent trip to Berlin, Germany, a voyage taken for a Bar Mitzvah of my brother’s only son, our nephew Dovid. Yet, truthfully, this flight was no easy decision. My wife and I pondered, should we leave our five children and travel close to 5000 miles to participate as guests, two of seven hundred, at a Bar Mitzvah in Northern Europe?
As a Rabbi, I constantly encourage others to value their families – I marvel to them of the close proximity of their grandparents, uncles and aunts. The family is a circle of warmth, giving closeness and strength to one another. Take the time . . . I would say.
Yet not always did I. As there were times when my community called me, and when their needs took preference. My brother who is the Chabad representative in Berlin, Germany, persisted.
Living so far away, in a country known for its dark history, he personally requested that for his Simcha all of our siblings unite and be present. As the eldest brother I did not feel I could let him down.
What started out as a gift to him turned out as a lesson of a lifetime. The angle captured in my mind’s lens, was a new perspective, a never seen before photograph.
I see the shining faces of my parents, eleven of their children and six of their sons and daughters-in-law, partaking in what turned out to be one of the most joyous moments of their lives: The celebration of the Bar Mitzvah of their first grandchild. I see the beautifully decorated ballroom of the Intercontinental Hotel in Berlin, illuminated by tall Menorahs that brought a glistening light of radiance. I see the American Ambassador to Germany and the guests of the German community wowed by the proud Jewish music and the true authentic joy in the room. I see among it all the glow on my parent’s faces, who in two weeks will commemorate the 20th Yahrtzeit of my sister Mina, of blessed memory. I see my families Nachas.
I know that to experience this joyous evening was worth every effort it took. I couldn’t have been any happier as we all danced the night away, and my brother put his arms around us all, and with a twinkle in his eyes said “Danke” – “Thank You to my brother and sisters for joining me here tonight.”
Today I say thank you to him. Thank you for showing that a family’s love and warmth transcends oceans and seas. I know from my heart that we are all spread out in different parts of the world, answering the Rebbe’s call to share, teach and inspire. Yet I and my siblings too, can find a way to led by example to overcome obstacles, to be present for one another, and to learn to share and treasure the gift that G-d gave each of us called: Family.
Rabbi Yitzchok Tiechtel
Never forget your family!
What a beautiful article. Family needs to make the effort, however hard, to share in each other’s simchas (since unfortunately when it comes to the opposite we do so, however reluctantly).
Boruch Hashem I am blessed with a wonderful family too and have seen over and over again how we pull through for each other in times of need, but even more important, make the effort to join in as many simchas as possible.
:)
i see meir;s stroller..
only in simchas!
Anonymous
I understand this situation so much. This week is the fifth yartziet of my husband and my only sister came to America only after I had lost my husband. Not to the wedding that we so much wanted her to come to. My sister and I both married our daughters the same month She in South Africa and I in New York, I could not go to hers and she not to mine. My husband had a stroke at my daughter’s wedding and my husband died five days later.Then my sister surprised me during shiva. Four years later I married off a son and she was there for the wedding. We had a fantastic time together.
knish
Beautiful. Just one sentence really bothered me: is he a Shliach of the Rebbe or a “Chabad representative (whatever that may mean??)
ayr
Dear Yitschak,
Reading your article brings back memories when I stayed with when you were a shliach in Southern California, your open home and hachnosas orchim illustrates what your parents taught you and I can testify what a warm loving family you all are, going to each others simchas is so important as each guest makes the the simcha greater. I constantly read articles online about your success in Nashville and may G-D bless you and your wonderful family with gezunt, simcha and hatzlocho in all you do.
Levy
What an Amazing family. I remember, as bochurim, we would congregate in the Teichtel house on Crown street. There seemed to have been a magnate there. We all felt we belonged and were expoected for Shabbos etc. Rabbi Teichtel would sometimes come downstairs in middle of the night to get a bottle for the baby. Always a kind word, Always a gut vort. A special family indeed.
To Knish
To knish:
This was written as an email to Rabbi Y. Tiechtel’s community in Nashville; hence the term. Of course he is a shliach, in every sense of the word, Baruch Hashem.