The Rapid Fall From Grace
His tragic saga was all too familiar; His mesmerizing talent rapidly captured the world’s attention. His impeccable image of integrity gained him the respect and affection of multitudes. His solid control of the media and other intruding forces was deeply remarkable. His balanced composure along with his unequivocal success became the silent envy of his countless admirers.
Op-Ed: The Tiger Woods Saga… And Its Jewish Lesson
The Rapid Fall From Grace
His tragic saga was all too familiar; His mesmerizing talent rapidly captured the world’s attention. His impeccable image of integrity gained him the respect and affection of multitudes. His solid control of the media and other intruding forces was deeply remarkable. His balanced composure along with his unequivocal success became the silent envy of his countless admirers.
Everything was picture-perfect until the day of doom caught him by surprise just a few weeks ago. Suddenly, his illustrious image exploded, his dignified reputation sunk, and his once-shining light dimmed. Tiger Woods’ life is now shattered because of one singular sin: infidelity.
Tiger Woods is not alone in the increasingly long list of ‘icons’ that have recently fallen from grace for the identical reason. Some prominent names include the infamous governors, Elliott Spitzer and Mark Sanford, and television personas such as David Letterman and Jon Gosselin. Yet they all beg a resounding one-word question: Why? Why did their hearts lead them astray? Were they truly miserably married? Was it the great influence that they gained? Was it the abundant wealth that they accumulated? Or was it the national stages that they conquered? Why would a seemingly happy, moral and prosperous person consciously bring irreversible destruction to the essential fundaments of his life?
Power’s Best Friend
It appears that the climb to power brings along a frightening yet indissoluble friend: solitude. People with power are indeed lonely. The distance that they are forced to maintain by virtue of their lofty positions enwrap their world with an uncomfortable sense of solitude that is very difficult to handle. After all, the innate nature of the human being drives him to interact with society on a regular basis. This phenomenon is evident both when children are afraid to sleep alone at night, or when adults spend an exorbitant amount of time and financial and emotional resources to create bonds with strangers for the sole reason of escaping their state of solitude. Aristotle put it best: “Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god.”
Yet if solitude stands as a contrast to the basic human characteristic of social interaction, how can people cope with it efficiently? Should we battle it and strive to eliminate it? Should we compel ourselves to continuously engage in social activities and hope that our state of solitude eventually dissipates? Or should we embrace our inner lonely state, regardless of its sense of discomfort?
Two Misleading Paths
History has shown that both paths are misleading. Those, who throughout the years have chosen the path of social detachment, have oftentimes fallen into the traps of futility, hopelessness and despair. Because when one chooses to be alone in the world, he thereby rejects the mission that G-d has given each and every human being: to make the world and all of its inhabitants a better and more divine place, specifically through social interaction. This idea led the Talmudic Sages to exclaim: “Either friendship and peer study or death!”1
In contrast, the second path encourages a person to battle solitude by actively interacting with society. The followers of this path hold that a man must ‘go out of the bubble’ and fully interact with his surroundings. Yet, despite the superiority of this approach, there lies within it two prominent dangers. First, society can influence a person’s conduct negatively. Maimonides, the medieval 12th Century scholar writes: “It is natural to be influenced, in sentiments and conduct, by one’s neighbors and associates.”2 Second, if not morally and emotionally equipped, it is very easy to fall for the illusion of love offered by the opportunists of our planets. Tiger Woods’s plunge epitomizes the vulnerability of human beings when faced with seducing exploiters who wear fake masks of love and care. Unfortunately, by the time Mr. Woods and so many others discovered the real faces behind the masks of their exploiters, it was all too late.
The Winning Path
So what is the secret formula to human interaction? How can we mingle with society without being influenced or exploited by it? Perhaps, the answer is found in the fascinating biblical story of Joseph3.
When Potiphar’s beautiful wife allured Joseph, he strongly hesitated. But, at the last minute, he overcame the immense temptation of fornication as a result of an omnipotent revelation that suddenly captured his sight: “The face of his father, Jacob, appeared before him,” Rashi’s commentary states4. It was the vision of his saintly father that pulled Joseph back to his roots and values. This sheds light on the exemplary education that Joseph received. The image of one’s father does not appear to him by coincidence. It can only appear and have such miraculous effects if it has been established in a person’s mind, over a long period of time, as a loving authority that shiningly personifies G-d’s finest values and ethics. Joseph’s triumph was a powerful testament to his father’s extraordinary education, and a strong reminder to all parents and educators that education is not about the words you preach or the love that you cultivate. Rather, it is about the ethical values that you embody and the authority of divine morals that you establish deep within the conscience of your children and disciples.
A Brilliant Advice to a Young Man
A few years ago, a talented young man sought the advice of my dear mentor, world-renowned scholar, Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz on how he should grow and succeed. “My wife says you’re skilled,” Rabbi Steinsaltz complimented the young man, a rising Rabbinic leader. “But be cautious of the illusions that you may encounter. People will invite you to speak and provide enjoyment and pleasure. They will even smile at you and pay you a decent compensation, but, at the end of the day, many of them really care for their pleasure more than they care for you. Therefore, always surround yourself with a base of people that really love you and care about you. And it is that base that you must cultivate and trust!”
Tiger Woods’ recent saga, must compel each of us to cope with solitude by dedicating ourselves uncompromisingly to the ethical morals and divine values of the Torah, and by nurturing our relationships with the foremost bases of our parents, spouses, children and those who truly care for us. And it is our embodiment of these values that will appear in the minds of our dear children, if they ever face life’s arduous tribulations and seductive temptations. Our everlasting image will then undoubtedly enable them to thrive where Woods and others have tragically failed.
So which self-image are you going to build for your children today?
This Op-Ed reflects the views of its author. It does not necessarily reflect the views of CrownHeights.info or its Editors.
A reader that wishes to make his or her voice heard on any topic of their desire is welcome to submit his or her Op-Ed to News@CrownHeights.info.
thank you
beautiful lesson to a controversial topic! Thank you Rabbi Allouche for the well-articulated, inspiring message.
Editor
Writers should take your piece as an example that one can write (even an op-ed) with humility – bringing in outside sources to formulate your opinions.
Shkoach.
inspired
thank you for sharing this piece of wisdom on a overpublicized subject that we had yet to hear its jewish lesson.
L.A. Morah
i’m wondering if solitude alone led to these men’s downfall or was it their own ego telling them that since they’re so great,they can get away with it. that it’s somehow coming to them because the rules of the regular people just don’t apply to them.
very well brought out
very beautiful, thanks!
lot more simple
oh perlease!!!! he was just greedy simple!hwe wanted his cake and and the whole bakery.You dont need to do a deep psychoanalysis on why he strayed.He simply had no morals -not he was lonely powerful…etc
chana
thank you for your insightful commentary….hopefully our children and grandchildren will see that all the madoffs and woods of the world with all their millions, sparkle and glitz, and woods not only with his millions, but a beautiful wife and family as well, are all gone,vanished! Their castles are built out of styrofoam,vacuous and easily demolished. Let’s pray and hope that the legacy which we impart to our children, continues to be built on a strong base of Torah and chassidus; not merely words and theories but action, Further,as their parents especially in these confusing, conflicted times, may we continue to be successful in being a clear living example to our children as we have learned, massei hu ha ikar; yasher koach!
yaacov
Why do we put articles of sick lowlives and the lessons we can learn from them???? Put an article of a tzaddik and the lessons we learn from them. How low did we stoop to learn from such people. Can u imagine??????
Besides there are many people that never heard of the story of tiger woods (yes there are normal people that don’t have radios and just go on the web to check mail, mazaltovs, and lubavitch updates) so why expose them????
Granted I do know, but what about others??
how we can learn from the low...
cuz the Rabbeim said that you can learn from everything!
Everything is a lesson in Avodas Hashem.
Do NOT be like Tiger Woods, read this article!
CT
“Tiger Woods’s plunge epitomizes the vulnerability of human beings when faced with seducing exploiters who wear fake masks of love and care. Unfortunately, by the time Mr. Woods and so many others discovered the real faces behind the masks of their exploiters, it was all too late.”
This implies that the fault lies with the seductress alone and not with the one who allowed and placed himself in a situation that enabled him to be seduced. One might argue that one of the important lessons to be learned is not to blame our mistakes on others regardless of how they contributed to the situation. When we make a mistake it is imperative that we look at our own actions, as those are the ones we can control. We alone are resposible for the choices we make in life. Lonliness, wealth, and other external factors are merely influences – persuasive ones perhaps, but we are ultimately responsible for our decisions and should never be allowed to blame those influences.
MH
thank you Rabbi Pinchas Allouche,
you are a true inspiration.
may G-D bentch you and your family with arichus yomim veshonim tovos.
a true chossid
Balancing the Cosmics
Tiger reminds me of Leib Tropper.
If only Tropper would play golf and Tiger would control ger’us – life would balance out.
s. arzi
Dear Yaacov,
thanks for your insightful comment. I wish you posted your full name, so I’d know who you are. Then I’d come over to your home and tickle you.
Why would I tickle you?
Because your comment tickles the mind. And the hearts of crownheights.info readers.
Information?
Dear Yaacov,
You are so right! I am one of those people that don’t listen to the radio and just go onto sites like crownheights.info and such to keep up with Mazel Tovs, the news etc. I had no I idea about this story until I read this. I don’t think it is a wise idea to post these type of articles. There are plenty of other informative things to post. (and Yaacov about learning from others: We can learn something from everything that happens. Wether they are a tzadik or the opposite. There is always a lesson to be learned!)
who cares about him?
Sick degenerates like Tiger Woods are lucky. If he was a menial inner-city worker behaving as he does he’d have fathered 3 kids before he was 20, married (maybe) divorced & would probably be in jail.
But because he has a rare talent (that means nothing to me, sports is at the bottom of MY list) the world treats him like a King. And he behaves as if he rules the world.
This article is unnecessary. We all know that “power corrupts, & absolute power corrupts absolutely” (Lord Acton) To a lesser degree we see it here in CH every day.
A moral degenerate is always a moral degenerate, no matter his or her station in life.
Fore?
Maybe it’s no coincidence that the 18 holes on the golf course is Chai. If we taught our kids to be golf pros they might win enough money to pay their tuition’s and black hats do a good job of blocking the sun.
We Want Moshiach Now
I fell like I’m in a chabad house with a story like this.
chana
yacov, you are basically right…but guess what in this society, all the pure stores of tzidikkin umfortuantley don’t make too much of on impression on teens…unless of course they were read continously, when they where little.
Regrettably it is the news of today, and the modern day happenings or unhappenings that make the most impression…we can thank the net for that……when we log on…it is the tiger we see and read, not some water carrier named faivel in Potlava with his piety…the roar of the tiger is very pervasive..let’s learn the lesson in 2010…the Eibsther sends many shluchim to get the message, or would we rather be bumped over the head with a sledge hammer so that the message gets through…these low lifes quiver in the dirt and humiliation of all their misuided actions and the consequences and it is these consequences that do make an impression on all of us; let’s pray our children as well as ourselves (as no one is immune) gets the message….
ceo
Chabad has a test, that we became involved in media and the world, but with the Rebbe’s directives. I can’t imagine what anyone was thinking to put this in. What if the Rebbe would see this? The message is true, but who needs this guy’s picture on the front page here? Did anyone hear what YY Jacobson said this past Shabbos in Bais Shmuel?
This is really sick.
When I opened up the website, I thought I had opened up the wrong website to see that picture right smak on the front.
Don’t you have some mashgiach for your website?
Again…..the content was a good message, but the presentation was really embarassing. I think that these websites are going to teach us how much we don’t know “how” to be in the velt.
YG
yaacov wrote:
Why do we put articles of sick lowlives and the lessons we can learn from them???? Put an article of a tzaddik and the lessons we learn from them. How low did we stoop to learn from such people. Can u imagine??????
Besides there are many people that never heard of the story of tiger woods (yes there are normal people that don’t have radios and just go on the web to check mail, mazaltovs, and lubavitch updates) so why expose them????
Granted I do know, but what about others??
Simple: Eizehu Chochom Halomed mikol Adam.
Disgusted
Woods was exploited????? It appears if we are speakuing of the same Tiger Woods, HE was the one doing the exploiting, your whole op-ed lost the credibility it may have had.
yaacov
To 1how can we learn…
2 S.arzi
3 Information
4 Chana
5 YG
I wasn’t going to write this because I thought it was simple, (thanks chana for agreeing and information too, but..) Imagine you were by a farbrengen with R. Yoel Kahn, would he talk about this. Or better yet Do you ever think the rebbe would talk about this topic???? Just think the rebbe would come out by a farbrengen and talk about this. Its so pathetic how people are just so blinded!!!! YG my yetzer hara caused me to read about tiger woods but I recognize its my issue and shortcomming in my personal life. Recognize it also. Do you want to sit t your shabbos table and talk about tiger woods and the lessons learned??? Come on wake up and open ur eyes. I don’t know if your married but if ur kid comes home and says hey tatty u know what I heard in school about tiger woods how would you react???? Would u say let’s sit down son and see what we cab learn from this??? I hope you wouldn’t!! Why ?? Its not appropriate! So too its not appropriate to talk about it on crownheights website!! Pathetic. I love how all the critics use torah for this ‘ayzehu chochom, halomed mikol odom’ , just for you YG here’s a taste of ur own medicine ‘vlo sosiru acharei levavchem v acharei einechem’ you and ME shouldn’t of read about TG to begin with. Why are people so crazy!!!
Chana,
Its sad that we talk about these things and the lessons ‘learned’ from tiger woods will not arouse the nefesh elokis of our young. Sorry that was a nice try but no cigar. We are unfortunately not learning from tzadikim and holy chassidim b/c parents don’t talk about them or even if they do its by the half time of a game on TV. And now please tell me chana, will tiger woods help???
Sure sometimes people have to be with the times to get non-religous people or also our teens interested, but there’s a limit!!! How about if the article was entitles about one of the women involved and about her? Would u finally realize. I appreciate the posotive comments I got on my first post and hope people will really read the comment objectively as I am writing objectively, like I said I too have mishaps and am just talking to myself.
The main point in life is not to be blinded and to know what’s right and what’s wrong. Where you are holding is another story. At least when you have your priorities right and you know where you are supposed to be headed maybe one day you can reach there. But if we think hey reading about TG and learning lessons from him and focusing on him is ok, (and not only ok but according to YG we are suppose to learn from him as the torah clearly states“…halomed mikol odom” ;) ) then we don’t know where to go b/c we are doing what’s right according to ourselves.
Not Yaakov- Let-s stay jewish
who is tiger woods and why are we using a nonjew and his failures as a life lesson for jews. I think it is disgusting to include nonjews and popular culture, not to mention gossip, on a jewish website.
yaakov, get a life. who are you to preach to anyone?
only my opinion
the entire article and its premise makes no sense. who is to say that anything had to do with solitude. who is to say that anyone offered the appearance of companionship. who says the antidote to solitude and loneliness is interacting with society. why does aristolte need to be quoted and who needs to learn lessons from a disgraced sports figure.
Besides the last two paragraphs the entire article is smoke and mirrors
yaacov
To not yaakov,
What exactly are YOU doing???? Preaching :) that’s what I mean by people that are blinded. I was/am preaching but you say it as if u aren’t :) I just laugh at that