I was recently at a cousin’s wedding in Crown Heights and absolutely enjoyed every moment. My cousin married a fine, frumeh Mentch - AKA chasidishe Bochur, I was with family, the music was Jewish and the dancing was energetic. The joy was authentic and palpable.
So? Big deal! What’s there to write about?
Op-Ed: Jewish Dancing
I was recently at a cousin’s wedding in Crown Heights and absolutely enjoyed every moment. My cousin married a fine, frumeh Mentch – AKA chasidishe Bochur, I was with family, the music was Jewish and the dancing was energetic. The joy was authentic and palpable.
So? Big deal! What’s there to write about?
Well… I had recently attended another wedding in Crown Heights and left nauseated. I thought it was due to my slow regression into the out of touch generation. But the recent wedding proved my point. It’s not me. It’s the clubbing dance genre which is inappropriate and downright ugly.
Music and Dancing are forms of expression. Jewish Music and Dancing are expressions of authentic joy. It propels us into true joy and allows us to experience the moment and being present; it opens us up to the joy of being a Yid.
The clubbing dance genre along with its music does the exact opposite. It’s numbing and masks all soul felt expression. When life – as good as it may be on the surface – is emotionally and spiritually painful then the only form of expression that is somewhat pleasurable is letting go and being numbed. Nightclubs are where this genre should stay, not at a Jewish wedding r”l – a seudas MITZVAH.
Worse yet; the clubbing dance genre has an element of tayvah. The non existent mechitzah and the “tension” it creates are directed at tayvah. It is completely contrary to Torah but, “it’s what sells”. At a frumeh wedding where men and women dance separately and guys among themselves use the clubbing dance genre, grinding and gyrating hips there’s an element of nausea that is worse than the nightclub. It’s downright dysfunctional!
Dancing at a wedding is a mitzvah. The act of dancing is an expression of joy. Let’s at least set Jewish music and dancing as our ideal. You’ll enjoy it!
This Op-Ed reflects the views of its author. It does not necessarily reflect the views of CrownHeights.info or its Editors.
A reader that wishes to make his or her voice heard on any topic of their desire is welcome to submit his or her Op-Ed to News@CrownHeights.info.
totally agrea
Yeh like the BARmitzvah I went to the other day.
It was more BAR then mitzvah.
sick and tired
I was at a wedding were the chossons family being that they marriying off their last kid they played this “last weddinf dance”
What hurt to see was all the brothers sisters and inlaws and so on hand in hand mixed dancing.
I braught my issue upto varios people asking why is this allowed in ch???
My answers I got were doging and the only “valid” resoning was the fact that that simchas are private afairs the halls and music gets paid for by the family and there is no controle over it.
See the problem is… More then this. Now days every simcha became public with photos being posted on news sites so everyone who didn’t go to the simcha can still see what went on in this “private” event
mark
i definantely agree
Ella
A wedding should be exactly how the bride and groom want it. If they would not enjoy a wedding the way you would thats just too bad. They should be allowed to enjoy their day and dance however they’d like..
sunny LA
i was at a hachnosos sefer torah at a “hip’ chabad shul and some of the ladies dancing could make you cry. I rubbed my eyes to see if i was seeing what in fact i was seeing. who are these women fooling and just who are they trying to impress? their psyche is way off kilter and dont think for a moment that this behavior dosent affect marriage. ladies we have to bring moshiach and shaking our bodies aint gonna do it. its really not even ”cool”. its prost and your marriage deserves better.
agree
I agree with this writer 100% its just a shame that there isnt much to enforce it?
Is it possible to tell the musician that they will be banned from playing in CH??
So - a problem finder....
Not that your wrong or something…..but go get a life.
not a dancer
I must be very stupid, but can someone please explain what the “clubbing dance genre” is? I don’t think I’ve been to any weddings where people dance in a lewd way, but maybe I have & I didn’t notice (too busy at the Viennese, maybe???)
takkeh
are you talking about the females or males?
Hasidic and Proud
True enough.
Unfortunately, the degenerate dancing is not the problem; it is a symptom of the pervasiveness of a perverted culture and way of life, that has, unfortunately seeped into our wonderful communities…
take care of yourself, lady, man
not all op-eds have to be published!
i aree
youre right some of the girls in crown heights, come and take over the wedding in a untznius form
MaddinBklyn
With all important really disgusting things going on throughout the jewish world & Crown Hieghts, it’s amazing how someone is so stupidly disgusted by a decision by a chasson and kallah as to the music that should be played at ‘their’ wedding that he takes the time to write an op-ed stating that it makes him “nauseas” (mabey the music was just too loud). Typical of those that bury their heads in the sand at the things that they don’t want publicized or that doesn’t directy affect them, because who cares right? but the type of music and dancing at a wedding? oh my! forget about everything else for this we are definitely all going straight to hell.
Chosid in a modern world
does this mean that the only form of kosher dancing is one that would fit neatly it your out of touch world? why not look at the bright side of this, instead of going to dance clubs people, you folks, have an opportunity to express themselves. instead you advocate people suppressing their joy, because it doesn’t fit into the little circle style dancing you used to do back in Russia. Try and look at other people l’kav zechus and maybe will all be break dancing till the coming of moshiach.
P.S. i hope you don’t have to through up from all that nausea.
arnold
you have a weird way of thinking!!
surprised
I do not know what he’s talking about – all weddings and all simchas in CH are frum, chassidish, Jewish and I believe everywhere else not only in CH
dave
maybe the excessive hours you’ve been spending in the wrong places listening to music with the “clubbing dance genre” has affected the way you think!
: P
Crown Heights Weddings are the best.
Shame on you for bringing up the negative
The way I see it
I think every Chossan and Kallah has a responsibility to uphold the standards of our community at their wedding ( and even in general). Anyway wouldn’t they want to start their new life in a proper and uplifting manner?
A Chasid
To Ella
Just to extrapolate your thinking and if the Choson Kallah want to serve treif they should be entitled to that as well and it’s just too bad! To all the Naysayers the proof is in the pie the boys & girls dancing in this manner are not Chassidish by any stretch of the imagination and many are not oservant!!!My accolades to the writer the situation is totally out of hand and much of the mannerisms are otright GOYISH and has nothing to do with Yiddishkeit or C”V Chassidus. And NO!!! it’s not that way in all communities.
Totally agree
As was pointed out, a wedding is a “Seudat Mitzvah” with special care taken to preserve its holiness. We all know exactly what the writer is referring to, and just puting him/her down with poking fun or riddiculing will not take away this very obvious Hefkeirus.
Would we dare dance this way in front of the Rebbe, should he have been physically present at a wedding? This is where the bottom line is. If you’re comfortable dancing this way in front of the Rebbe, based on all the above mentioned “arguments”, then – nothing will convince you otherwise. However, if you’re honest to yourself, you will recognize that this is NOT the proper way. Nothing to do with being “out of touch” or hooked on “the old ways inRussia” etc… There are lines in our Chinuch and behavior NEVER to be crossed. While many weddings are very Freilach and Lebedik in the appropriate way, some are just unacceptable.
Yes, each Chosson-Kallah and families are entitled to choose their style etc…, some of us lost somehow the proper sense of right and wrong, and got it all mixed up.
GO ELLA
GO ELLA!!!
men please stay out of the women-s side
men please stay out of the women’s side-
that means at all times-
even while you are waiting for your wife,sister etc…
I know so many who feel so uncomfortable to dance because there’s these guys hanging around in the ladies section,
or they’re at the doorway of the ladies section hanging out…
some of them are officially pretty chassidish too…
we don’t want you there-
and it’s against halacha too !!!!!!!!!!!
shimon cohen
you r right. what a shame
reese
webby, i’m glad u stuck in the disclaimer that this article does not reflect your opinion. lol.
A member of this community
The day of the wedding is ‘Yom Kippur’ for the Chosson and Kallah. All their sins are forgiven. Is it proper to disturb in such an unholy manner on such a holy day?
Too much shnops
It seems when the shnops really starts flowing everything goes but I put my foot down when they start the chicken dance.
Just wondering: connected?
B“H
I wonder if the ”taam“ for this kind of dancing starts (in part) with Beis Rivka Production, where break dancing moves have been the norm for at least the last 8 or so years?
Actually, even that is not so problematic IF the girls are clearly made to understand (while still of school age) that this kind of dancing is not to be done at simchas, because our mechitzahs are not so complete and the men’s and women’s sections are right adjacent with only that incomplete mechitzah between them.
Within a true ”all female“ atmosphere, such as at Production, I have less of a problem with this kind of dancing. However, I’ve seen Production from other girls’ schools which don’t include this kind of dancing, and these productions were just as meaningful if not more so — and the girls were also really ”into it” even without the break dancing.
Hanhalahs and parents — take note.
GIVE ME A BREAK
TO SUNNY LA.
YES, THE BRIDE AND GROOM SHOULD MAKE THEIR WEDDING THE WAY THEY WANT IT, BUT IF THEY WANT IT TO BE A “GOYISHE STYLE” WEDDING THEY SHOULDN’T MAKE IT IN CROWN HEIGHTS, THE REBBE’S SHCHUNA. LET THEM MAKE IT ON 42ND STREET OR THE LIKE. IT IS AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE WHAT THE YOUNG PEOPLE ARE DOING TO THE NAME OF LUBAVITCH WITH THEIR DOING THINGS “THE WAY THEY LIKE” EVEN THOUGH IT IS TOTALLY AGAINST EVERY CONCEIVABLE DIN OF TZNIUS ETC. AND THEY CAN ONLY GET AWAY WITH THIS IN CROWN HEIGHTS. ANY OTHER FRUM NEIGHBORHOOD WOULD NOT ALLOW IT IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM WHAT SO EVER.
organic food only from now on!!
musicians are PAID to play what the people who hire them WANT.
Why don’t we start blaming caterers for serving food that is not 100% organic??
I have been to a wedding one night where the musician was playing hip and wild music, the very next night SAME musician played very chassidishe nigunim. obviously very different chosson and kallahs.
If you notice, almost all musicians will NOT take requests from the crowd, the music is already decided by the chosson kallah or whoever pays the $$
indignant
so i was not minding my own buisness and i heard some people on the street saying some really not chasidish things, they were talking about …… R“L!! what are we gonna do about this problem lets write OpEds on CH.info and see how many comments we get.
some of the responses to this peice are hilarious. are people really that concerned with ”the dancing” or is it just another so called problem this community has. all these problems that allow so called chasidishe folk to avoid the real issues. things that really tear a community apart like, machlokes, loshon hara, moitzy shem rah. fix these problems and you might see many other so called problems fall by the wayside
MODERN THINKERS
There may be alot more and worse things to pick on in our holy neighborhood, but there are several points here; there is the old expression, “vee men shtelt zich avek azay fort men” is this the way the young couple want to live their new lives together? in this fargoyishte lifestyle? and while there may be worse things than this music, the fact is it pollutes the neshama of the person to a horrifying degree. and last but not least, whilst this may not be old time Russia, wasn’t it the frierdike Rebbe who proclaimed and engraved on our hearts and minds that AMERICA IS NISHT ANDERSH?! and yes, that includes “MODERN” america. so all those who are trying to redeem this hefkairus, including the “Chosid in a modern world” are only trying to excuse themselves for being a part of this sic sic sic mentality. May Hashem have mercy on us.
looking forward to the next C;H wedding
please carry on all this non-sence. am having a blast. just dance nicely with out any wiguls and every one will be happy
Dancing Jew
Just keep Dancing!!!
Live, and let live.
Ella you are so right. Why is it that everyone in this community feels that they have the right to tell everyone else what they can and can’t do at their own wedding? If you don’t like it, don’t come. You can have your wedding as you like, and I’ll have mine as I like.
ceo
Ella,
I hear your point.
Only doing that, would be like buying apple juice concentrate which calls for 4 cups of water, and putting 14 cups of water. You change halacha a bit, and then a bit more, and it keeps going.
So what makes us children of the Rebbe and Bnei Yisroel then??
Ella again
To A chasid.. what are you thinking? Comparing treif and kashrus to dancing at a wedding. So what’s the big deal if girls or boys come to a wedding and enjoy the night and dance like crazy? As long as woman and men are separate and its jewish music??
What people like this writer dont realise is that this is how you push young chabad kids away.. because nothing is ok, eveythin they do is not acceptable, not chassidish, not tznius.. dont you realise that your crying wolf? When something is actually really not ok they dont even listen, it has no meaning because they’ve heard you say no, not chasidish so may times before unneccesarily.
So in conclusion, no offense to you op-ed writer, but look into the community and find the real problems and use your energy to help fix those things, instead of finding problems in innocent good people who are just having a good time and being sameach chosson v’kalla how the chosson and kalla like it..
wtvr
…..you come off as a tyrant
Authors name withheld upon request
Grinding hips, you say. Oh My quite vivid descriptions. I can imagine you are flabbergasted at the few gray hairs you have seen of late, but unfortunately your clubbing days seem to be over, and alas you will have to stand in the sidelines seething with jealousy at the moves you once were able to achieve and are no longer attainable. If my comment seems to poke fun at you, I have merely read the vast spaces between your lines. Next time you want to write an op-ed, look long and hard into the mirror and choose your words carefully. By the way I am so awfully glad your family are such wonderful wonderful people who wouldn’t dream of sinning like the rest of the lowly souls that inhabit this deteriorating society.
disturbed from your comment
ella what u thinking what r we dancing about u think its hollilus there is a SHULCHAN ARUCH u better speak to ure mashpia to get your hashkofos straight
to ceo
right on!
if last generation was wearing mid – calf skirts and this generation is wearing ich veis nisht vos, last generation – chassidishe music, this generation follows the misnagdishe,nauseating music or even goyishe music — my dear community, where will next generation be holding R“L????
i mean moshiach is coming but if C”V, C”V NOT, THEN WHAT???
to Chosid in a modern world:
If you are so modern, maybe you can learn how to use the “new and modern” spell and grammar checks (or is the lack of grammar and spelling the chossid side of you kicking in?)
NOT SO BAD...
As one of the regular wedding musicians here in CH, it is not as bad as you make it. 95% of the weddings here are eidel, lebedik and fun and I RARELY see “club dancing” (at least on the men’s side).
You should go to more weddings before you write an OP-ED which is pretty much “motzi shem ra” because it gives the impression that we have a problem, when we don’t.
nauseated
the writer probably can’t dance and is much more comfortable walking around in a circle or jumping up and down.
as long as the mechitza rulea are kept, watching someone able to use their body to speak to and from the music is invigorating. it is an art and godly.
is hup cozak dance kosher because some hasidim mastered it? where do you think that dance came from? a pub.
the writer’s distinctions between good and bad dancing (er, holy and club) are so senseless, there’s no where to even start.
you’re a guest at a wedding. leave if it makes you nauseous.
To Ella-
You write:
A wedding day should be exactly how a bride and groom want it.
That is a very dangerous statement. Just because a human has a tayva is not a reason to allow that tayva to be acted upon. This is why we have a Hashem/Torah, and not a human deciding what is right and wrong for a Yid.
If someone has in mind to have everyone at the wedding shoot a gun at one other person should that also be allowed? Or how about if all guests are given water balloons and told to please throw them on their fellow guests.
These examples may be far-fetched, but they may help you realize the actual meaning of your statement.
Certain music and dance are just inappropriate for various reasons. Also, a bride and groom should pay attention to the fact that their wedding would not be the same if there were no guests and they should respect the location of their wedding and the lifestyle and customs of the majority of their guests.
If they don’t care about their guests let them write straight out ontheir invitation: We are planning to have wild music music and wild dancing, if it bothers you please don’t come. It may sound funny to you Ella and others who think likewise, but I do not want to have to go to a wedding that has the atmosphere of a place that I would never step into-especially when that wedding is officially from one of our own in thecommunity and especially when I am bringing my children.
A wedding night is holy and the atmosphere on that night, has far reaching effects.
It’s not the night to messa round with “if I want to do it, then I can…it’s no one else’s business…”
Moshiach NOW!!!
MP
If the author doesn’t have the backbone to write his/her own name, why give this article any credibility.
No feelings should be hurt.
No chossanim/Kallahs should feel badly.
Just like you or I,
this “No-Name” writer has an opinion and lucky for him; got it published.
dont get you!!
i dont get why there are ppl who always look at the bad side of everthing!!you went to a wedding to be bsamech choosen vkallah not to look how the ladys (mind you) are dancing so keep on your side of the mechitza and stop being such a pessismist.
Avrahom Gilman
There is nothing wrong in people trying to fix a situation that makes a wedding party into a disco club. To play Jewish music at a rock and roll beat at a Jewish wedding makes it into a Moshav Laytzim. In addition the music is played so loud that it can harm babies and children’s hearing. Anyone who sees no problem with the current situation IS THE PROBLEM.
trembling
unfortunatly the alien and very goyishe atmosphere that seeped into our community totally engulfing everyone is so sad and heartbreaking that it is beyond words. The influence and poisen of the goyim is so strong that our children and teenagers and young couples are drowning and when someone tries to speak up and talk some sense,someone makes sure to stand up and shut our mouths.
want to do it right
i’ve always wanted to dance in a chassidishe way but i feel so uncomfortable dancing in a circle. i get dizzy from going in circles and it’s such a weird way of dancing i can never get used to it. and i grew up in crown heights. i’m serious.
Annoyed
Obviously the write of this Op-Ed needs to get a life. I read approx 2 paragraphs before realizing that this writer is one who needs their own opinions to themselves. If you were to pay for every simcha that goes on , then you may have the right to have the dancing in whatever fashion you may please. Until then, zip it, and if you dont like it, dont partake and leave. Like a previous commenter said, The chosson and Kallah have the right to have their wedding whichever way they went, it IS after all THEIR wedding, NOT yours. So please, shush! and cover your eyes(and ears.
Also, NOT EVERY OP-ED needs to be posted. hint hint
Eli
I think I’ve lost count of the number of non-lubavitcher family members and friends who have told me that they would never again set foot in a CH wedding hall after being absolutely revolted by the level of hefkeirus that is prevalent during dancing — on both sides of the mechitzah. Likewise, even totally non-observant wedding musicians have remarked again and again about the kind of perverted dancing that goes on in CH that has no parallel in any other frum community in the New York area.
I hope you’re all proud.
Chaim
It’s important to eat organic food. It helps the body and thus the soul.
The animal industry is a real travesty nowadays. In addition to being inhumane, it poisons the meat we eat, thus making it essential to either eat organic meat or become vegetarians.
Levi
From most of the comments here, it seems like you people are the people on the side looking at the people dancing. I like to call them the onlookers, these are the people who look and complain that your shirt wasn’t covering your chest or they dancing wasn’t frum.
We, the people who dance, find it enjoyable to go out there and make the chassan or the bride happy. Its not the way we dance thats the problem. The problem is the Chabad “onlookers” who just want to make problems with everything!!!!
Simon
The writer of this article is ignoring historical facts.
for generations the frum world dancing has been influenced by the outside world.
just think of those Chassidim doing the Kazzatzke dance. i remember the first time I saw a Ukrainian dance troupe doing the same dance – i though they stole it from us, how naive I was then.
look at it in the positive sense how amazing is it that we hold within us the power to elevate and purify.
think about it.
Keep our standards
I can’t believe that there are people who think that the chosson and kallah have the right to decide how to have their chassuna whether or not it is acording to halacha. Yes, they can decide on the color scheme, flowers, menu, musician etc, but not with things that have to do with hashkafa when having a wedding in Crown Heights. I live on shlichus and my husband was recently mesader kiddushin for a couple that literally drove my husband crazy with all kinds of requests that they wanted to have at their chuppa because they believed that they have the right to decide how their chuppa should be. The chosson wanted to give the kalla a ring under the chuppa, he wanted to hire a reform chazan to sing by the chuppa, he wanted the crowd to stand mixed by the chuppa and more such requests. Do you think my husband gave in to these requests? – NO WAY! If they asked an orthodox rabbi to give them chuppa, then certain standards have to be kept. And I believe that if a couple has their wedding in Crown Heights, then there are also standards that have to be kept. We can’t keep lowering our standards.
yehude
now I understand why ,when I came a few moths ago in C.H. for a wedding ,and the kalle was from France the people where so happy to see and participate in a vareme chassidiche chassene with only chabbad nigunim and nicely dancing, and saying that thy just loved the chassenes when the chosen or kalle was from France, the C.H. people just didn’t want to explain to me the reason but now I understand . The Rebbe say’s that,the way you start your life, the way it will be so……..
Devorah Leah- mother of three
STOP ARGUING. Arguing won’t prove you right. Take OFF the blinders and think, “Would I want my child to be like me? Have the same thoughts? Actions?” Because you are in for a nightmare of a surprise if your unthought out answer is yes.
Don’t be so open-minded that your brains fall out, please. There is a reason why Yidden from all over want to come and join in Simchas Torah dancing in the Chabad Shuls. The pure, unadulterated joy that comes through dancing, hands on shoulders, round and round in a circle, just cannot be found elsewhere. If they wanted to see and be part of your free thinking, free moving dancing that DOES come from another place, deny it though you may, they would go to that OTHER place to see and be inspired.
To Ella and her same- minded friends. Are you married? Would you like to be one day? Would you feel comfortable having your husband look at people dancing the way you purport is right and good and happy?
You want to express yourself through dance in your own way? That’s fine. Do it in front of your mirror, not my children.
You really want to make the chosson and kallah happy? Let THEIR day, the holiest and most influential day of their lives, remain that way in thought, speech, and action. Give them the honor of having that gift and they will bless you…
anonymous
the fact that in the past goyish folk dances were adopted by Jews is missing the point. Jews have adopted a long list of things from oher cultures, but it has always been understood that we have our borders and anything that crosses a line we won’t adopt. So, yes, I will cook kosher french fries in my own home and order them at kosher restaurants, not withstanding that McDonald’s makes french fries, too. I will not, however, cook cheeseburgers–even though i have already adapted other goyish recipes and use them in my own kitchen.
Lewd dance styles are not appropriate, even when they happen at a Jewish event and even when there is separate dancing. Some things we can adopt, b/c they are not inherently bad. but when something in its core is bad, we don’t copy it.
ch resident
yes, there are some weddings where the music and dancing is not appropriate. However, the person who only goes to these kinds of weddings is obviously friends with these kinds of chosson and kallah. I have been to many many wedding in CH. most weddings in CH and found that they are appropriate and chassidish. The person who wrote that she knows people who would not go to CH weddings because of tzinus etc. is obviously promoting this type of conversation. I see him/her as a wanna be. He/she is someone who has no friends and does not dance and yearns to be popular and thinks if he/she has an opinion he/she is a mentch with something to say. You just wish you could dance in any way and then you would not care how etc.
Why does everyone’s stupid opinion and insecurities have to be put on the blog?
shimon. h
VERY TRUE point!
my beliefe is that half the comments missed the point
this article sounds like a, manis updated.
most weddings are beautiful...
most weddings are beautiful…
it is true that there are some that have inappropriate or extremely loud (OW!) music.
ATT: Devorah Leah Mother of 3
ATT: DL Mother of Three:
Well put :)
Esty
To Eli
I would really like if you can put a number to the amount of people who told you they wouldn’t come to a wedding in CH. I highly doubt it’s as many as you are making it seem. I’ve been to B”H many weddings. There may be a few wild people in the crowd, but on the whole the wedding’s are beautiful. Why bash a Klal for a few wild dancers?
CL
I think there is a time and place for this type of dancing. I don’t think that it’s appropriate at a wedding since it is a time for kedusha but take a Zumba (dance/fitness) class and have the same fun but in a private setting.
Rifky B.
Sad… that’s how I felt after reading the comments. Someone points out something that he feels strongly about, and instead of thinking if perhaps he’s right, people here react emotionally, as if he pointed an accusing finger at them. I loved what one of the writers asked: With your hand on your heart, would u really dance that way in front of the Rebbe? We all know the truth, but it’s so much easier to yell and whine than to do something positive about it. And that’s what’s sad here: The total lack of Achdus, missing that great feeling of “we”re all in this boat (of golus) together, let’s work together to get out of it.”
A Dancer
Many of the young ppl dancing in a more free manner, have never stepped foot inside a club, and don’t even listen to non – jewish music. For some reason anyone that dances outside of the “circle” is considered goyish. If you actually look at these people most of them are not moving in a prost or not tznius manner. Yes some are, but you have not tznius ppl everywhere. There is no need to generalize on the degeneration of our ppl from simcha dancing. Unlike you these ppl are simply more free with self expression. Go fight for something real.
we can improve
author has a point, we can definitely improve in the tznius at chasunas: dress, dance, and keeping to mechitza, and eidel music.
Me
The Jewish community has always been in a state of evolution. The idea that this community will remain stagnant in perpetuity is a figment of this authors imagination. Yes, don’t cover your ears, this community has changed and will continue to evolve over time, no matter how hard certain people attempt to live in the past. This is not to justify the change, only to acknowledge its inevitability. The misplaced outrage at the expense of more pressing issues like the hundreds of youths who are leaving this community, only perpetuates the problem. Maybe its time to focus on why that is happening instead of obsessing over gyrating hips.
Elki
An anonymous article cannot be called an op-ed. You can’t have a nameless opinion. What’s the danger in signing your name — shame? fear?
No opinion on the kind of dancing — just after all the tzaros klal yisroel have gone through over the last year,r“l, and particularly in Chabad, I’m happy to hear about simchahs. So should we all instead of jumping on something to critcize.
By the way, as is almost always the case, a few commentors pointed their fingers at the ”untzniusdig GIRLS.” We evil wicked shameless females. If you chased every girl out of CH, then who would you blame?
STOP JUDGING
It always amuses me that people will find anything to criticize. STOP looking and judging others. You dont know the situation of the chossen and kallah at every wedding and in some cases you should just be happy they have separate dancing. I applaud everyone for doing their best and atleast getting in a Jewish hall with Jewish music etc.
The Bais Hamikdash was not destroyed because of improper dancing.. it was destroyed because of Sinas Chinum……..
a very old fashioned lubavitcher
The major problem is a lack of basic yiras shomayim and common sense fundamental cornerstones of emunah and chinuch which are unfortunately running amok throughout Crown Heights.
When simple tznius rules are cast aside, when the concept of shaving is equal to not keeping cholov yisroel & pas yisroel, etc. etc. Then you invariably advance to copying goyishe dancing, behavior, talking, etc.
It is NOT an issue of being dan-l’kaf-zechus – because there is no “zechus” of being an ois vorf.
For chassidim: Shaving, trimming, “touching” your beard IS NOT OK! (For misnagdim maybe, but even today, more and more litvish are having full-un cut beards).
For Chassidim: Wearing “tight” clothes, etc. No foot/leg coverings IS NOT OK!
These are just a few of many issues that we need to address, and then you can move onto dancing.
Authors Response
You’re vitriolic personal attacks are case-in-point.
I brought up an issue. I don’t attack anyone personally. There isn’t a single post that defends the “clubbing dance genre,” at weddings, on its merits. The dissenting posts have no substance. All they post is personal attacks and yell like pubescent teens “I’ll do whatever I want”! They don’t address the issue at hand.
The inability to look at an issue objectively is terribly myopic and is reflective of a shallow small-town narrow mentality.
Sorry to offend you, I do offer therapy! Actually… why go for therapy? Go dance! it’ll numb all your internal strife and dysfunctional emotions. (Now that’s personal:)
what defines jewish music?
just because the singer is jewish does not make the music kosher at all,in fact 50% of all these “jewish” songs originate from goyishe singers,which in turn make the style of dancing to it different,and also to those that say dancing is a gift it is but there is mentchlech dancing cool dancing and repulsive dancing and that is what he is talking about.
just a person like you and me
people. exactly that, you are just ‘people’. live the ‘only’
life you have as you see fit. and notice how even as adults you argue like children. and the same way you are so convinced about your opinion and ‘no one can alter it’, so is the other person… so at the end of the day, save your time. (something i wish i did), and go dance at a special occasion, and have a good time :)
be happy with what you have
be thankfull that you can at least go to weddings,
I am on shlichus and have never been to even one wedding.
To Rivky B
With your hand on your heart — since when do we frum Yidden swear on our lives – I think I’ll write an OP-ED about how CHers are not just dancing prost, but talking prost.)
That said, with your hand on your heart, would you eat in front of the Rebbe? Would you talk to your friends in front of the Rebbe? Would you talk loshon horo in front of the Rebbe? My point is that it is a silly argument, as you do these things (and worse) every day.
CLUUUB!
You would only know this dance if you have been in a club.
Therefore you should not be writing this.
Get a Life,the club dance is awesome and adds a FUN vibe.
More important issue in CH than this
If you dont’t like the music that is being played at a wedding, leave. You’re not doing anyone any favours by staying. Who are you to tell couples what type of music they can and cannot play at their wedding. Don’t like it, leave.
There are mre important issue in Crown Heights then this.
NO more important issue in CH than this
If I am inviting people to a simcha, I want to make my guests comfortable. If I know that my guests don’t appreciate wild music, I won’t subject them to it. If they are coming to my simcha, they are coming to besomayach the baal simchas and are giving up their time to come.
If the attitude is “like my simcha or leave” I am surprised that you have any chaverim who even want to come. If someone is not ready to consider the comfort of their guests, they might also not be ready to consider the comfort of their new spouse. Maybe they are not old enough or mature enough for marriage. Marriage is for grown-ups.
Irony
I like the google dance ad at the end of your comment section.
Aaron Bless
to Chosid in a modern wold your title is a total give-away b/c a chosid is in a chasiddishe world, so much for your title.
On the subject matter itself we have our dictates from our dear Rebbe in reference to a wedding that the music should be in a manner as if the Rabbeim were present (look it up in Igros Kodesh and you’ll find many a reference to this subject -and some other directives- and the Rebbe writes this is directly pertinent to the future of your marriage.
now Mr. MODERN; throw-up is spelled as I wrote it NOT through-up
Aaron Bless
To Ella
If we allow everyone to do as the see fit by their Simchas what is to stop someone from ordering disco-lights and the like for their Simcchas ( ukvar hoyo poi )and if you think that’s o-k well then you are right b/c we live in a free country and no one including our holy Torah Chv”sh will tell us how to conduct ourselves.
May you make many Simchas with Simcha Amitis.
A recent Baal Simcha
LA MORAH
once again we see from so many of these comments how strong the yaitzer hara to go against tzneeus is.attacking the messenger won’t change anything. sadly so many are so numb to pritzus that they simply don’t recognize it when they see it or care for that matter.please wakeup;everything we do in public reflects on the rebbe.sorry if some don’t accept that but truly,that’s the way it is.
let-s get on our dancing shoes!
Anyways, I love CH weddings.
And focussing on the positive, hopefully, IYH, there’ll be a lot more to attend!
Dance all night long!
Shmuel Friedman, Cleveland OH
May I suggest that everyone who feels that their oppinion is invalid use nicknames while everyone who truely believes in what they are saying should use their full names.
There is no shame in sharing an opinion on the most popular Chabad news site. So lets talk straight.
My opinion: The author of this article is bothered andhas expressed his frustration in public. Disagree if you feel hes wrong (which I don’t) but respectfully and openly – otherwise your opinion is an anonomous shot in the back.
I also agree with the commentor who said Chassanim and kallahs should have their way at their weddings – all we can do is try to influence the young men and women in our community about the beauty of pure Jewish joy.
That being said, let’s stick together even if it means putting up with bad music selections.