The Crown Heights as we know it today, is diverse on their opinions in many matters. One of which is the Tishrei Orchim [guests]. Most are well aware of the great kiruv the Rebbe gave to his orchim, and many are in admiration of all those who spend of their hard earned money to be in 770 for Tishrei.
And perhaps in the point of being the Rebbes Orchim and orchim to 770 is precisely where the dissention amongst Crown Heights residents finds itself. If all of these people would truly have this matter ingrained in the depths of their hearts, that they are in Crown Heights as the Rebbes Orchim then much up of the pent up uneasiness amongst the locals would subside.
Op-Ed: The Tishrei Guests
The Crown Heights as we know it today, is diverse on their opinions in many matters. One of which is the Tishrei Orchim [guests]. Most are well aware of the great kiruv the Rebbe gave to his orchim, and many are in admiration of all those who spend of their hard earned money to be in 770 for Tishrei.
And perhaps in the point of being the Rebbes Orchim and orchim to 770 is precisely where the dissention amongst Crown Heights residents finds itself. If all of these people would truly have this matter ingrained in the depths of their hearts, that they are in Crown Heights as the Rebbes Orchim then much up of the pent up uneasiness amongst the locals would subside.
It would be highly rude of me, if I were to come and visit my father in Crown Heights, only to spend my time meandering about the fashion boutiques and electronic stores that Manhattan has to offer.
Furthermore, the bitter taste in some residents’ mouths is not born out of disgust for the visitors. It is just that the presentation and appearance of the guests just seems to strike a raw nerve by many. Neglect is a word that comes to mind, when one sees a young disheveled guest strolling aimlessly down Kingston Avenue. It strikes a nerve by all those who care for their children, as to whether these parents are fully aware of the day-to-day schedule and care for their children.
Sweeping generalizations and all encompassing stereotypes is not the way to go either.
It is contentious to say it, but it is true that the Israeli life is for more restricted and lest I say depriving in comparison with an American upbringing. It is fair to say that in Israel, children are youths and youths are adults. In light of this we must understand that a visit for Tishrei is the experience for many of a lost childhood.
Most visitors are grateful for the hospitality offered to them by the magnanimous people of Crown Heights, they simply are not quite sure how to express their gratitude, and actions that seem to express the opposite of gratitude are not intentional they are borne out of the extremity of the situation they find themselves in when they get to Crown Heights.
When they think about Tishrei in Crown Heights, they think about dancing on the corner of Kingston and Montgomery, they think about Mivtzoim on the back of SUV’S. They do not think about the nitty-gritty of having somewhere to eat every meal, nor do they think about where they are ought to put their bags until they are provided with accommodation.
For young people it is an extreme situation to be in, and therefore their actions may seem discourteous and unsightly.
Problems need solutions, situations need understanding. Let’s try and understand them albeit the neglect that may be evident on behalf of their parents, and hopefully those that influence them will influence them to be courteous and understand us.
This Op-Ed reflects the views of its author. It does not necessarily reflect the views of CrownHeights.info nor of its Editors.
A reader that wishes to make his or her voice heard on any topic of their desire is welcome to submit his or her Op-Ed to News@CrownHeights.info.
go home!
There is no need for them to come here!
Waist of time and Money!
This money should go pay for Yeshiva etc…
tired of it
You make some good points. However, before Gimmel Tammuz the Orchim behaved on the whole far better (I’m not talking about the pushing & shoving to see the Rebbe. That was horrible [but understandable] if you were the one being pushed!) They didn’t DEMAND, & they didn’t abuse the hospitality they were shown.
My point is…why are they here? To spend Tishrei with the Rebbe? We know the reality. If that’s the case, they’d be at the Ohel for Yom Tov. They come for a shnorr at OUR expense. They think we are all rich Americans, they run up huge phone bills, drain all the hot water without a thought for the family needing to bathe before YT (girls, the guys don’t care),attack food in the fridge that was prepared for YT, slam doors & gab loudly when they roll in at 4:00 AM; we all experience it to some degree or another.
Of course there are guests who are a pleasure to host. You have to get lucky. I have learned to say no to strangers & to give all these rude, ignorant & selfish people a wide berth. Let’s not forget the ones who don’t obey the law & get arrested for driving illegally/fighting/being drunk etc. The strain on our community resources to deal with idiots from overseas (Hatzalah, Shomrim, lawyers) is tremendous.
To be honest, I’ll be glad when they leave. In the meantime, parents, make sure you know where your younger kids are. Do you really want them standing staring at a pro v. anti fight in the middle of 770, the Rebbe’s Shul? That’s the memory you want them to have of “Tishrei by the Rebbe”?
David
They can do what they want, and I wish them a lot of Hatzlocha. The only thing I beg of them is to take a shower daily. I went into 770 last night, and the fumes nearly killed me!
Perverted Article
Don’t kid yourself about your noble and altruistic intentions in writing this article. It is a useless waste of words, with no other purpose and which will have no other effect than creating further rift and dissension. Some things are better left unsaid.
I am also turned of at the sight of scruffy bochurim sleeping under the coat racks in 770, the sea of untucked shirts and misshapen hats, and I’m also somewhat cynical about how many end up in Old Navy instead of shule. But I never talk about it, because it’s frankly none of my business. These people have parents and educators of their own, and though their method of doing their duties is somewhat askance in my opinion, I keep my opinion TO MYSELF and try to LIVE AND LET LIVE. Try putting the shoe on the other foot – Let’s say someone wrote an article in Nachlas Har Chabad about how Megushemdik Crown Heightsers are, and they have no interest in what the Rebbe wants because they don’t open up their houses and put mattresses on the living room floor for random guests. Think about how ticked you would be; you’re an intelligent human being, you make YOUR decisions about YOUR life, and you take advice from family and friends not strangers – why does some nudnik across the ocean think he can dictate how you should act.
My I suggest, that if for what ever reason you have no need to spend your time doing tshuvah like most people, please occupy yourself with harmless entertainments such as and Xbox or Nintendo, not with writing harmful words.
Disgusted
I don’t understand the point of this. What exactly are you trying to say!? Being understanding is one thing, but someone has to teach these kids that we, the residents of Kan Tzivos HaShem Es HaBrocho are the ones who have to cean up their mess after they leave and deal with the bad feelings they cause with our goyisher neighbors. No one is taking responsibility for that in the same way that no one takes responsibility for the Israeli kvutzim who have turned 770 into a zoo.
Londoner
As you can read I am from England, I know where you are coming from when you wrote this article. I think it must be so difficult to live in CH during Tishri. I have never been for Tishri, but it must feel like a “take over bid” living there. (all those Israelis and French…..) I still think you all do such a great Mitzvah putting up (in more words than one) Orchim. Incase any Orchim forget to say it, Thank You.
es
The Bal shem tov’s father was visited by a scruffy, unruly and unappreciative guest. The guest arrived on Shabbos – demonstrating his lack of observance. R’ Eliezer still treated his guest with utmost respect , forebearance and love. This is how he merited the Bal Shem as a son. The Bal Shem’s legacy exists right now in crown heights. I know its hard but lets try to live up to it.
running a hotel
To es
You are right, but sadly, we are not on that madreigo. The fact is, we in CH ARE abused by our “guests.” I have a pretty much open house…there are always Bochurim staying here from all over the world, not just at Tishrei but year round. All we ask as that Tishrei guests are respectful & considerate & that they remember that when they leave, as “Disgusted” wrote, WE have to deal with the broken (& sometimes STOLEN) things in our home & our neighbors’ wrath over broken fences, trash, noise etc.
We get very upset about the Labor Day parade & with good reason. True, there are many more people. However, the parade, as awful as it is, is 1 day. We have 6 weeks of this filth. Many of these visitors are dirty & their personal habits leave a lot to be desired. They don’t care how they act in private or public.
Londoner, what you wrote was very nice. Thank you! (But I expect good manners from the British – LOL!!) If we got more appreciation & consideration, perhaps more people would open up their homes.
Lastly… why don’t the organizers of trips for these hoards of people teach them how to behave when they get here? And they should organize appropriate activities, including sightseeing tours (why not??) so they use their time wisely.
disgusted
Come on, when should they come? Pesach, are you going to open your seder to other people? Even if you for some reason don’t hold of 770 during Tishrie, if an Isreali wants to come to NY once a year or once in two years, when should he come? Most bochurim do learn in yeshiva and have seder all year round, even in the summer.
Are you serious?
When your children are in Israel for Yeshiva and Seminary THEY are the ones that open up their homes for our children.
When I was in Israel for seminary, these same Israelis opened up their homes for us. They would take in 5 – 6 girls, sometimes more! We would eat their food, and also come home late if there was a farbrenghen. (And yes, we sould go shopping in malls too – – is that really such a crime that you are making such a big deal about it??) They would make us feel as if we were the ones doing them the favor by staying by them. Everything was done with a smile. THe only reason someone would have said no to hosting us would have been because they already had guests staying there.
Is it really that difficult for us to show them the same hospitality that they show OUR children?? C’mon, its the most holy time of the year, and this is how we are acting??
been there before
More of the “problems need to be exposed”. Why you ask? That is how things are fixed. I am sure many do not realize that they leave things in disarray, are rude etc… Perhaps some will read and realize.
sara
that’s why i stopped coming… i realised i dont act like the daughter of the king! so i dont deserve to go to the rebbe… :)
i’m really thankfull to all the hosts who receive us!
love the guests
I realy love what all the orchim bring to our neighborhood during Tishrei, and it is my pleasure to host them and to feed them. However I feel that the guests need to be more respectful to CH residents. Guests need to allow women to come to shul (in between cooking/feeding/cleaning for our guests)without being pushed shoved sat on etc. They can’t sit in my seat and not move because they were able to secure MY seat from 7:00 am I only got to shul at 10 or 10:30 (remember I was at home preparing the meal).
ch
I had a relative visit (not Israeli) who was appalled at how dirty 770 was when he visited. At least when people come to 770, they should treat it with respect, including no excessive drinking. The gabbaoim of 770 should ensure that 770 is treated as a makom kadosh.
john
i think its a bit ironic that they have a 100% crownheights bochur as the image of a scrufy dib
How Times Change
Now that we have “new gabboim” in 770 maybe they will take responsibility for being m’sader the shul of the Rebbe MHM as is fit.The old ones have absolutely failed in this matter. And, being that one of them still remains, he should be aware that people who would cross the street after Gimmel Tammuz when they saw YK coming toward them are now thinking that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if AGUCH could clean up the mess.
770 resident
Come on be real who are you calling “orchim”? crown hights is the home of every lubavicher and there is no nee for you to tell them what and when they should do!!!
ab
If someone were coming to visit their father and the person had a brother or sister in the same town, would the father be happy if the brother or sister complained in public about how their sibling spent their time while visiting or how the visiting brother or sister looked? Hashem should judge us with a sweet year and we shouldn’t complain in public about our brothers and sisters.
ZD
To 770 resident:
I used to live in Crown Heights but have moved. When I come back to visit I am aware of the fact that I am now simply a guest in a neighborhood I don’t live in.
It has nothing to do with whether one is a Lubavitcher and if CH is open to all Lubavitchers all the time..even if they’re criminals and act terribly.
This issue has to do with people showing respect to 770 when they visit, respect to the neighborhood and the country, and ultimately take responsibility for their actions.
I have found that when I lived in CH, the Israeli guests completely ruined anything good that this neighbhorhood tried to do…but got a pass because they were the “Rebbe’s guests.”
So, 770 resident, just as you would not like it if a “misgnagid” came into 770 and made noise, even more so a Lubavitcher should be expected to realize that he is simply visiting Crown Heights and should act properly
lubavitcher girl
Last year I went to a Farbrengen and heard 2 inspirational points that kept me coming to 770 throughout Tishrei even though it was pushy and uncomfortable for someone used to coming every week and having my space to sit and daven…
1)We want all Brachos we can get. The whole situation makes us a better keli to receive the Brachos for the new year.
2)Before Gimmel Tammuz everyone also pushed and davened in that same uncomfortable setting, because they wanted to be by the Rebbe, to see the Rebbe. Now we are in the Rebbe’s Shul and hopefully Moshiach will come now and we’d all want to be there to see the Rebbe smiling at ALL of his children!
I hope this will inspire other people as well! Kesiva Vachasima Tova and Moshiach now!
to go home!
and you expect moshiach to come??? how do you talk?? have hachnosas orchim! welcome them to CH!!
didnt see it anywhere
you crown heightsers are purely selfish
VERY ODD
I find it very odd that the ones who voice complaints about the orchim are most, if not all anti-moshiachistim and anti-yechi people. While those who defend the orchim are pro-moshiachistim etc.
What does not make any sense is why do the anti-moshiachistim still live in a place where – according to them – the rebbe doesn’t live anymore, why are THEY living there now? What significance does Crown Heights still have without the rebbe? If, as I pointed out, the moshiachistim believe and feel that the rebbe is still there – why can’t they do what they want? How does thier belief affect the non-believers? If you are 100% solid rock-strong in YOUR faith – what difference does it make to YOU who says what and who does or doesn’t do the same as YOU?
My other point is; What EXACTLY is so special about Crown Heights? Did you ever travel into Boro Park or Flatbush during Tishrei and see the hordes of people who come to visit family and friends – and the mess THEY make in the process? You don’t have any problems with them. OK, I’mm not saying “mess” is OK, but, really – if, according to those who ascribe to NON-YECHI etc. What difference does it make to you what they do in 770? According to you – the rebbe isn’t there anymore? or is he?????
to ZD
I had the opposite experience of you, but same idea. I used to come to CH only as a guest, like in high school for 22 shvat, etc, and that’s how I thought crown heights always was – busy, happening, loud, people everywhere, farbrengens going on at all hours, and of course, being young, I loved it. (I still do love the ruchnius part.) I would hear from friends how the ch’ers all “hide” in their houses when their neighborhood is being overtaken by guests, and I used to think they’re nuts for missing out on all the action.
But ever since I moved to crown heights myself, I began to identify with the locals. Now I’m the one who feels like staying home, because the 770 that I love to go to all year round, and the streets I walk every day, are now full of sights and smells that I’d rather not experience. And I know it may not be so ahavas yisroel’dik to say this, but yes, i do feel like my space is being invaded.
My last comment is that everyone, all the guests, but also a reminder to the locals, need to remember that 770 is a shul. And it simply is not kavodik, appropriate, (and possibly even against halacha in some cases) to eat, sleep, make a mess (and not clean it!), climb on benches and shelves, and step on or over sefarim and people in a shul. So please, eat somewhere else, if you have garbage, throw it in a garbage can, return sefarim to shelves after using them, and politely ask others to step aside if you need to get by. (Ok, politely might be too much to hope for here, but these really are characteristic behaviors of civilized people, believe it or not!!)
Chabad
The best time was when Udi Elkin and Dudu Marash came to my house for Yom Tov!
nos
the main problem is shemini atzeres and simchas torah when almost all israelis are drunk when the rebbe said not to drink more than four cups and then they throw up all over the floor and to very odd i believe what i write AND i AM a moshichist
CS
I live in Israel. For most Israelis… coming to the Rebbe is an exquisite experience of Yiddishkeit. Many BT Bochurim become stronger and more connected to Chabad through their experience in 770 and in CH during Tishrei. (this can ONLY help the Shidduch crisis)
I know that it is difficult to understand and relate to.
Consider this an annual Shlichus of stregthening our Chabad brothers and sisters in Israel. Many are dirt poor and are going into SERIOUS debt for this experience.
Going to Old Navy is their only opportunity to buy affordable, “quality” clothing, since clothing is overpriced and terrible quality in Israel.
Most of the Israelis come to NY with real Mesiras Nefesh for a spiritual cause. Do you think they WANT to sleep on cold benches under a coat rack?
Hashem should bless all of you in Crown Heights for opening your homes, your hearts, your shuls and your neighborhood to people who from a different culture but essentially your brothers.
May we all merit Moshiach now… so that we can host you on OUR turf- in Jerusalem… (and then maybe I will open my home to some spoiled Americans :)
godsrighthandman
Well g-d works in mysterious ways and yup most places places want guests/tourists with big budgets as I know from my recent time in the state of Israel where a woman that represented the Ministry of Interior demanded How much money do you have before i got approved to visit/look into Israel for a pilot trip contemplating aliyah she hollered onto a phone at 5 am HOO BA EEM GROOSHIM I was detained for four hours until someone woke up yeah I know how the mitzvah hachnossos oorchim works here and there so why travel for a holiday/occasion is a good question who can really afford dealing with answers like “my kishkes like _____(that place )””my hearts service is appreciated _____(that place)
You never know!
It was just before Yom Tov when the phone rang. Can I accept a couple for Yom Tov? I said yes with no rhyme or reason. I put the phone down and wandered what had gotten into me. My house was full.
… unbeknowist to me, I had just saved my son’s life.
Motzei Yom Kippur my two year old son ran to me, his eyes wide and scared, his mouth gasping for air and a high whistling sound coming from his mouth. He was choking. I tried everything I knew, but to no avail as his lips became tinged with blue.
I yelled, “My son is choking. Someone help!” My guest heard and immedeatly knew what to do, not a moment to soon as my son was losing consciousness. He dislodged a tiny piece of pretzel from my son’s throat and my son took a gulping breath of fresh air. This was 7 years ago.
Every Tishrei I have four people staying in my house, and the gratitude I feel for them far surpasses the slight inconveniences which may occur.
Agreed
Azlas lekarta haleich benimuso, when you go to a town you must follow its rules, that is what chazal say, and that does include respecting your host and their rules.