Maybe there is no Shidduch Crisis. Maybe there is a bigger crisis, a crisis we cannot fully control.
Is Shidduchim the only default we are up against? How about our community, anyone see a crisis there? Look at the heads of our community, is everything smooth on top? Look around you. Look deeply at your neighbors, friends, teachers, family, is everything else REALLY at peace?
Face it; we are in Golus and therefore have a dark cloud hovering around us. That is the source of all our crises.
Op-Ed: The REAL Crisis
There is not a day that goes by when I do not hear about our “Shidduch Crisis.”
Maybe there is no Shidduch Crisis. Maybe there is a bigger crisis, a crisis we cannot fully control.
Is Shidduchim the only default we are up against? How about our community, anyone see a crisis there? Look at the heads of our community, is everything smooth on top? Look around you. Look deeply at your neighbors, friends, teachers, family, is everything else REALLY at peace?
Face it; we are in Golus and therefore have a dark cloud hovering around us. That is the source of all our crises.
So before we put blame on anyone, be it a Shadchan, community council, a Rov, a single or married friend etc, how about we focus on the real problem, the way to get out of this Galus. Let’s focus and point the fingers at ourselves.
Are we truly the person we want to be? Are we acting the way we should? Are we doing what is expected of us?
We are currently in the 9 days and Tisha B’Av is around the corner. The terrible day when our Beis Hamikdash was destroyed. Why was it destroyed? Because of Sinas Chinam. Every child knows that. Do we know that? Do we realize how that translates to us in 2009?
Why can’t we be examples to our children. “Is it REALLY going to be the little Kinderlach who are going to bring Moshiach now?” How can we make them responsible when we ourselves are not showing them how?
Why is there Sinas Chinam? It happens when someone feels they are in the right, they need to be in charge, they have to roll the dice. Power. POWER.
Look around us. Why have we allowed the situation to get to this point? How did we let it fall so low?
How can we continue to live with fights between our neighbors, friends and family? How can we continue to face each other if not in harmony? Why is there no unison between Rabbonim? Why is there no complete Council who we all know and see do many things for the good of the community? Why do volunteer patrols who genuinely want to volunteer have to fight for justice?
How and why did everything turn to power?
If we were to take one moment and realize who really is the One in Power, we would see that we cannot match up with Him.
So let’s practice Ahavas Yisrael. Let’s relieve ourselves of the burden of being first. Of being right. Of being in charge. Let’s be humble. Let’s remember that everyone has what to offer in this world. Let’s give others room to exist too.
Let the car behind you cut in if he’s in a rush. Let the man with one grocery item get in line ahead of your full wagon. Don’t look angrily at the woman with a tantrum-throwing child. Don’t blame the doctor for being late etc.
Let us learn to appreciate the ones around us and then TRULY we will merit the coming of Moshiach.
Your neighbor who wants to make peace.
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Amen!
Amen!
inspired
Well said! Truly inspiring.
David
Heavy duty, but so true. Just what is needed in these sad 9 days. Thank You.
Kol Hakavod!
Thank you for standing up and opening our eyes. i could not have said it better. maybe between now and 9 b’av, people will really take a good look of themselves, and do a real cheshbon nefesh- only then can Moshiach truly come, when we are at peace with ourselves, our neighbors and communuity.
A Mother in law
yes, yes, yes. May we all hear and answer Omein. Thankyou.
right on the button
Wow Heavy stuff. OUCH! in all the right places!
Who better to teach our children if not we??
Amen, Moshiach now!
ceo
good points, and you are offering yourself as the person to start it. This is what we want to see……makom sh ayn adom, tishtadel lehios adam (mensch).
In big and small, let us make peace, let us make a Torah environment….not just to dress like a Torah person, but to have the middos of a Torah person.
We need more thoughts on HOW to do this. It seems like it could just be DONE, but no, we need the skill of how to DO it.
I do appreciate this article!
i suck
I have looked at myself, and i decided im the bad one, im the one who voted, im the one who cares about what the counsel does and doesnt do, im the one who hates the volenteers bc i think they are not tough anough to stand up for themselves, im the one who is picky when looking at girls, im the one who hates the fact that with all the rabonim in town i cant get my questions answered,
its me
all me
oh well, time for me to move out of CH and all its chaos were ppl hate when you smile, and when u wish them a good morning they look at you and ask, “what is so good about this morning…
Attn: Elected Officials
In this climate, we can’t afford to fight. V’dal. Please settle or stop the lawsuits at all costs. No one cares anymore what past ppl did, especialy if persuing this will hurt many.
We actualy see how no achdus means distruction. Stop this now! Talk to your elected official, let him know how you feel before its too late!
Ad Mosai!
RIGHT ON TARGET!
WE NEED TO WORK ON ONE GOAL (GENUINELY!!! FOR REAL!!! NO FAKING
!!!!) AND EVERYTHING ELSE WILL JUST FALL INTO PLACE
reb yid
no no no moshiach is here
mickeyblue
again more fluffy talk avoiding real issues.OF COURSE we need to be better people but that still doesnt take away from what the REAL problem with shidduchim exists i cannot therefore see how this tries to resolve the problem??
antimesira
True words, true words indeed.
Let us remember, the people who are victim of Mesira will be
suffering (or having to deal with) way past the three weeks or nine days!
I think What was written above is truly Emes, but I think we are way past this already. unfortunately we are not dealing with Mentchim (human beings). its time we (as a community-together) start taking ACTION, against Mesira and Machlokes!
Talking with these people (who do Mesira0 in a complete waist of time, the reality is they only want the power and are willing to do what it takes, even if it means burning the community down the ground.
Again, NO MORE TALKING, TAKE ACTION
me
kol hakovod
ELI
YES vary well said!! may we marit to be with the REBBE now with Moshiach before T’ishah B’Av!!!
the other neighbor who wants to make peace.
hoping
Most of the responses were wonderful and you could see that these people were truly inspired by the “very well expressed” article.
Let’s just ignore the remaining ones and simply focus on that which will bring light.
Hashem does not need us to point out the mud – He put it there.. He wants us to dust, clean and get rid of the mud so his diamonds can shine. Then the malachim will cry out to Hashem “look at your kinderlach” and this will usher in Moshiach’s arrival, may it be now!!!!!!!
say hello
The real problem lies in our self by each individual taking care of himself making sure what he does is right. In addition, if we would be nicer to one another friendlier. not with the “stiff neck hello” it would be a better place for every one.
With out the title crises which means to some hopeless. Therefore, the next time you see someone in the street say hello regardless if you know the person.
want peace???
Your preaching to the choir.
You want peace?
Get rid of the trouble makers, the mossrim and baali machlokes, then you’ll have true peace.
Nice articles wont bring true peace.
We already know and live by the things you write above.
Trust me, we already know there is a problem (boy do we know), the question is are we going to just talk about it or do something about it?
Your preaching to the choir.
You want peace?
Get rid of the trouble makers, the mossrim and baali machlokes, then you’ll have true peace.
Nice articles wont bring true peace.
We already know and live by the things you write above.
Trust me, we already know there is a problem (boy do we know), the question is are we going to just talk about it or do something about it?
want peace???
0
good vs. evil
You shall not come in the way of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil.
Avoid it, do not pass through it; turn away from it and pass.
For they will not sleep if they do not commit evil, and their sleep will be robbed away if they do not cause stumbling.
For they eat the bread of wickedness, and they drink the wine of violence.
But the way of the righteous is like the light of dawn; it shines ever brighter until the day is perfect.
The way of the wicked is like pitch darkness; they do not know on what they stumble.
(Mishlei Chapter 4 Verses 14-20)
Mesira has been happening for the last 30 years.
The victims of Mesira are the type of people who read the above and get it. To them you don’t even need to write such things, they know this.
The people you are writing to (speaking to), the Mossrim, they don’t care. They are sick, reckless and hateful people with no g-d.
We as a community must unite once and for all and fight Chutzpa with Chutzpa!
Let’s show the mossrim that we will not except this anymore (not now not ever).
best oped EVER!!
yasher koach! very well said!!
Where did it all begin?
AH…….. Now what do we do? Let’s try to go back a little .. like several years ago.. just after Gimmel Tammuz………What did we do?? We made a new school for girls, Bais Rivka was the Rebbe’s Mosid and the Rebbe was quite aware of what Bais Rivka was all about – if he thought we needed an additional school he would have suggested it. Kaparos – again, did we need another place? – up until gimmel tammuz we did well with one place and here too we never heard the Rebbe suggest an additional place.
Camps? Ah……
there again – we all know the Rebbe was totally concerned with Gan Israel and Camp Emunah – somehow gimmel Tammuz again brought on the extreme urgent need for additonal camps etc etc etc
The author of this op ed is definitely diagnosing the problem but he or she is totally unaware of when it all began.
The problem we have now is largely due to the fact that most did not attempt to put a stop to the Breakaway Institutions – The Schools, camps and so on. Now that it has infiltrated into every single entity it seems to hurt more because it is so very apparent and touching many more.
It did not seem to bother the regular guy on the street when it was being done to the well established Mosdos that were all established with our Rebbe’s brachos and haskomos – That my friends is the cause of what we have now.
It is a very important lesson to remember – do not sit by silently when you see a wrong that needs to be righted because eventually it will eat you up too.
I fear that some might have been somewhat pleased when the breakaway places were established with great urgency just after gimmel tammuz – I fear a bit of jealousy may have been the issue – that along with our good old friend “Mr Apathy” and puff this is what we have.
In spite of all this – We all pray for Moshiach’s arrival and in that unity/achdus we will be zoiche to see the Geula immediately!!!!
to Were it all began who
“Gan Israel and Camp Emunah – somehow gimmel Tammuz again brought on the extreme urgent need for additonal camps”
“We made a new school for girls, Bais Rivka was the Rebbe’s Mosid and the Rebbe was quite aware of what Bais Rivka was all about – if he thought we needed an additional school he would have suggested it”
Let me ask you this question.
has CH grown in size since then, did your kids camp and school live up to is mission???
Competition is a great thing, how are you able to say “break away” why did they break away???
why did more institutions open up?
Why are more moisdos still opening up…
THERE IS A NEED, and the current moisdos are doing there best but they cant do it all.
to: where did it all begin?
instead of focusing on how it happened y not work on making it right, in present tense.
if every1 to focus on what they are up to now and not cry over spilled milk, maybe wed see positive results and obvious the final result of moshiach now
yes i want peace
to: want peace???
we gotta work with what we have, cant let power people run us down. our problem is the biggest politicians and faces of our community are the ones holding us back.
but we as a community can be stronger. we can strive higher, do better, start with one persn at a time. ourselves. our family. our friends. start a union. create a strong force.
and then we will ride high.
hachlotas?
so wut is it gonna be? is some1 gonna come out with a way on self improvement? some shiurim.workshops for girl/boys women/men?
any1 have the tools and know how to make it happen?
so many talents in our chabad community, can some1 enact an achdus corp or the like??
a seeker of peace doesnt need to falisfy
to where did all began:
even those arguing agaisnt mosrim were sort of ok
complaining against objective evil done
to claim all the trouble began by comptetion when the rebbe allowed competition before gimel taqmuz and those who blcoed it tried LYING in the rebbe’s name (for example;kolel kaporos, until some do gooders forced them to shut down
for example ohel soro class competing with bais rivka reporting to the rebbe of all their activities until beis rivka cleaned up their act so the class shut down
camp:OT yeshivas kayitz for example, until they drove r’ michoel crazy that supposedly the reason the rebbe waites for a few months before answering him was becuase of the yeshivas kayitz even though everyone know it happened many tiems before and was standard practice and the rebbe wasnted yeshivos to remain open in summer.
etc etc
but propoganda machines work and the writed may be convinced becasue he may be young enough to not remember the truth