Due to the economic crisis, and with donations declining on a regular basis, I began looking into credit repair and loan modifications, first as means of helping many of our donors who were facing difficult times, and more lately, as a means to supplement my personal income, while I continue to manage directing Global Jewish on a greatly reduced salary.
Day by day, I am shocked to discover local families who outwardly seem to be faring well, to actually be on the verge of home foreclosures, tanking credit, over burdened with debt, etc.
Op-Ed: Taking Responsibility for your Family Finances
For the past 18 years, the Global Jewish Assistance & Relief Network (GJARN), an international humanitarian assistance organization I founded in 1992, has helped hundreds of thousands of people throughout the Former Soviet Union (FSU) and since 2000 in Israel.
Due to the economic crisis, and with donations declining on a regular basis, I began looking into credit repair and loan modifications, first as means of helping many of our donors who were facing difficult times, and more lately, as a means to supplement my personal income, while I continue to manage directing Global Jewish on a greatly reduced salary.
Day by day, I am shocked to discover local families who outwardly seem to be faring well, to actually be on the verge of home foreclosures, tanking credit, over burdened with debt, etc.
There are many ways people can help themselves in these difficult times, and obviously there is no one across the board solution for everyone. Some people are legal and can apply for food stamps, WIC, Medicaid and other entitlements, while others cannot. Some are young enough to go out and find a new job while others are already retired or semi-retired. Some have skills or a basic high school degree or GED while many do not.
Over the next several months, I plan to submit on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, various articles of interest on how people can detect financial trouble early on to various forms of assistance or jobs that are available but perhaps unfamiliar in the frum environment. I will also provide available resources where one can apply for assistance as I check them out and ascertain their qualifications and effectiveness.
Today, I am sharing with you a Family Budget, prepared in Excel format, in which husband and wife need to sit down with each other and enter their real life expenses. Doing so, will not only help you understand your actual costs of living, but will also save many marriages. One of the biggest problems I face on a daily basis, is the lack of understanding between couples on their actual living costs, hence a lack of understanding of their spouse’s pressures and frustrations, etc.
Lines of credit, home equity lines, free credit at stores, new credit cards, etc are all part of history. Most frum couples have been living on borrowed money to make ends meet, but the financial noose is tightening day by day.
As such, this exercise is a must for every couple. I tried to include all possible expenses the average couple might have in their lives. If I left something out, please feel free to email me. If you are unable to fill out the Budget Sheet on your own, please feel free to email me as well. A free 20 minute consultation will be provided for those who seek assistance and all information will be kept in utmost confidence.
The enclosed Budget sheet has already been used by numerous friends over the past several months, and by looking at their expenses, many couples were able to cut some of the extras they had been accustomed to and are now much closer to living within their means.
One cannot negate the values of Bitachon and Emunah and how important a role it plays in our lives, but at the same time, we owe it to ourselves, and especially to our children, to take financial responsibility of our lives.
Click Here to download the pre-prepared Excel Spreadsheet.
This Op-Ed reflects the views of its author. It does not necessarily reflect the views of CrownHeights.info nor of its Editors.
A reader that wishes to make his or her voice heard on any topic of their desire is welcome to submit his or her Op-Ed to News@CrownHeights.info.
A friend
absolutely incredible article, and the download is priceless. I thought a good idea would be to post instructions how to use it. so here goes.
1) fill out the amount for each line in column B (it can be approx but estimate on the higher side)
2) Fill out the number of months in column E (if its not a monthly expense, then put the times per year you spend)
3) All the amounts will add up AUTOMATICALLY. See the total at the bottom of the sheet for your yearly budget.
4) Seperately calculate your salaries/incomes
5) If the total of your expenses is more than your salary, go thru the list and see where you can limit your expenses. Keep cutting until you are comfortably below your income. The remainder should go into savings.
6) KEEP TO IT. The trick I use is to throw out your credit cards at home. (You can carry a debit card for emergencies). TO control our household expenses, I have a few envelopes and write the amounts and descriptions for your expenses. Then pull out cash and fill the envelopes with exactly the right amount every month. (this also encourages saving)
PS. As a last word, if you are even $1 in debt then remember it’s not worth trying to be a chochom and get miles and points on your credit card. they don’t give you miles because they like you, they do it to make you get into debt and MAKE MONEY OFF YOU! (I only use credit cards for large purchases and always pay them in full – instantly)
tired of being pressured to spend big
Lazar, should we still have bitochon and send girls to high priced sems, kids to pricey sleep-away camps, have huge amounts of yomtov guests and serve them only the best, give large Purim gifts to our 250 closest friends, leave no one off the simcha guest list, make a flieshig meal at a l’chaim, buy $2000 sheitels and spend $50 to $75 keeping it styled, give large gifts to everyone who invites us to a simcha, buy European couture baby clothes, etc.?
cma
Brilliant. The spreadsheet is VERY good.
I’d like to know from people living here in CH, how much it costs to live in your own house with six children, including all expenses. Please fill out the spreadsheet with your approximate expenses and post the result. It would be appreciated if you could include in your result whether you are on medicaid, food stamps, or are getting any other major discounts or benefits.
Thank you!!
Getting out of Debt.
Two thumbs up. Very well thought out in logical subcatagories.
Yesherkoiach.
wanting to raise frum kids
sending kids to yeshiva today puts every family in major debt. and there is no choice!!
suggestion that works
Here’s a suggestion of how to figure out how much you actually spend each month on all of the listed categories on the spreadsheet (instead of estimating):
For two months, jot down all money spent on everything DAILY. Do it at the end of each day or as the day goes by; you can round it off to the nearest dollar (to make it easier to remember) and write down exactly what it was for. For example, a daily review might look like this: $12 bakery, $34 groceries, $22 meat store, $2 tzedakah, $23 diapers and baby cosmetics, etc. etc.
THEN at the end of the two months compile all the info – add it all up to see what you actually spend.
me
The problem with all of these budgets is THEY ONLY WORK WITH A FIXED INCOME! Neither me nor my husband get a fixed salary (he did at one point, but only a part-time salary) and so you can’t work out how much you can spend. If I spent based on what came in per month, we’d be living in tents in Central Park…
ceo
when you get hand me downs, you saved at least $10 per item, correct? Put some pennies, or even a dollar for the $10 you saved, into the pushka. Makes sense, right?
Make sure that someone receives your hand me down clothes and furniture. The extra few minutes it takes you to find someone to take it, is helping another yid in the end.
there are many ways to help, and we have it in us!
Also
Bankrupcy or morgage reajustment is anouther way to go which is getting more popular.
WOW!
Thank you Lazer! What a caring mentsch you are!
a light comment on a serious article
Anyone else smile a little when they read “GJARN”? Say it out loud once… you know it makes you smile, and you have no idea why :)
That said, as someone who used to always be a little behind on money, I want to testify to the benefit of creating and keeping a budget. If you can make yourself do so, keep track of your expenses and receipts (quicken and ibook are great), and you’ll already be half way to fixing the problem.
We all live with some measure of financial stress and worry about our future, and trust in Hashem to provide. Just remember, He can not fill a vessel that does not exist or has holes in it. And if you spill the water on the ground, you’ll still be thirsty. See this as a chance to figure out how big of a vessel you NEED and to determine if you are creating it properly.
Hatzlacha to all, Moshiach Now!
ZachKessin
<i>sending kids to yeshiva today puts every family in major debt. and there is no choice!!</i>
There are choices, they may not be ones you like, but they are definitely choices. Find a way to earn more money, put the kids in a cheaper school, put the kids in public school and tutor them in Torah after school or home school or cut back on everything else to fit it in the budget.
If that means that you have to eat beans and rice to pay for the schools then do it.
times are hard
Unfortunately with the astronomically high price of tuition today, it is nearly impossible for most families to stay afloat. We can budget and budget but it just won’t help when the total cost of tuition for many families is higher than the monthly income. We can only turn to Hashem to help us.
Shaike
To ZachKessin…
Sending our children to public school is not an option, it is called spiritual scuicide. You part about eating rice and beans makes more sense.
This idea of a spreadsheet is an excellent idea. You have to remember though that the budget and job is making a keli (vessel) for HAshem to give you parnossa. Hashem has many Shluchim for sending this parnossa. We have have to have bitachon and keep our head above the water. The major part of making a keli is also ruchniyus… Davening with a Minyan 3 times a day, Kvius Ittim LaTorah without compromise, Tznius at home and on the street for men, women and children, this includes behaviour and talk as well.
Life is tough! And as a frumer Yid, even more so. We have to work hard for Parnossa and we have to remainstrong in our Yiras Shomayim, Hiskashrus to the Rebbe etc. This might be extremely difficult, but try it, you will be amazed at the results, and you will feel amazing about yourself.
From personal experience, I have seen that both the gashmiyusdike keli and ruchniyusdike keli go hand in hand!
Remember, don’t go to sleep tonight till you finish Chitas, Rambam and Hayom Yom!
Hatzlacha!!!
in CH
Sending 6 children to yeshiva while also feeding them (right now we are on low budjet meals which are still a lot of money for 8 people) is imposable on any salery I am not an athlete making in the millions. We dont balance our check book since it is logicly imposable. we cant skip Yom Tov cuz it is very expencive. how do you think we can survive?
G-D helps
Others pay...
CH, do you mean that other people are picking up the tab? Someone has to cover the tuition for your family. Maybe you should think about homeschooling your kids, which should free up a lot of money.
How does it really work? At the very least, this should get your to be able to cut out the fat. No one needs nosh in the house at all. Kids don’t need birthday presents. Clothing doesn’t have to be expensive. Use coupons to cut costs majorly.
CSC
Ironically one way I’ve cut back is by tossing out a lot of the tzedakah mail, including GJARN. I have also, sadly, had to rely on caller ID to screen out the appeals. Many of these chesed organizations, which have cropped up like mushrooms, should either merge or pool their resources.
People like me who are on wallet diets — and often in need of charity or loans themselves — just can’t give, or at least generously, to everyone, no matter how worthy the cause. Yes, I know Hashem rewards in the end, but the sad reality is, there are limits. I have unfortunately become, if not more stingy, then more judicious.
sara
thank you for the spread sheet – its great
just a note: you forgot to put in salon care – such as waxes, facials, haircuts – all are necessities…
get smart
Fortunately there are enough gvirim to carry all of Crown Heights for the next 50 years. Unfortunately the gvirim think they are entitled to be gvirim and let everyone else suffer.
Not so smart
To Get Smart:
If you were able to articulate your thoughts a bit better you could be the next Obama.
What we don’t need is a welfare state or welfare community. Tzedokoh is critical but teaching a man how to fish is 100x better than giving him a fish. Hopefully Lazars budget method and upcming articles will give us tools to catch more fish.
Hatzlachah to you and may you never have to rely on the ‘givirim’ for your financial responsibilites.
to SARA
TO SARA
Did you look at Health & Beauty
Not every little thing can be mentioned especially as minors view these sites as well
PS. waxes, facials etc are all important if you can afford them, but if not, they must take a back seat to other life necessities
TO CSC
to CSC
Please call the office at 718 774 6497 to have your name removed fromour mailing list so we too can save on postage and mailing costs
We pride ourselves on spending less than 10% of our funds for administraive purposes so we are not looking to waste money.
AshMan
This is a big help. My wife and I developed a similar tool when we were first married. Should be part of all chasson/kallah classes, or at least a series of lectures given every year in CH or on the web.
Still, the biggest costs in our budget are housing and tuition. We live in a modest southern city to keep our housing costs under control. But tuition, well, it’s like you need a $15,000 raise (at least) for each kid you have.
We spend about $6-7000 a month on total living expenses in that spreadsheet; that’s close to $75-85,000 a year, after tax.
My guess is that we spend about the same as other people. If you paid all your bills on time and in-full, what’s your monthly number?
May HaShem bless His people with a good life, may we struggle to find people who need our abundant tzedoka, and may Moshiach come now!
mikveh man
why are mikveh expenses in utilities?
chana
Thank You for this article. It is very neccessary for our community. As a young married couple with three kids, who grew up in crown heights, no one ever taught me how to deal smartly with money. I have no idea how to save money. I hope this helps.
Also, it seems that making under a certain amount of money that allows you to be eligible for govt. programs seems smarter than working. Unfortunately, it’s become more logical for me to sit at home and keep my governemtn assistance, then to go get a job which will make me lose all my benefits, not be at home for my kids, and have to pay a baby sitter. by the time i am done, my entire salary will be gone. so why should i work? on the other hand, i don’t want to be stuck in a tiny apt relying on public assistance. I feel stuck!and i’m sure there are many others in this situation.
Busybody
Chana: I understand your dilemna. However, you say you are young. You need to have a long-term perspective. Maybe now you don’t have that much earning power so you feel like you would not be better off financially by working. However, once you get more training, and job experience, your earnings should go up. In other words consider the years working at a break even wage as an investment in your and your family’s future. Also, you won’t always have young children at home. It is much harder to enter the job market (particularly if you want to earn more than minium wage) if you stay home until you are 35, 40 or older. If you aren’t going to work for a few years, perhaps try to take some courses (potentially even on line) and stay current in whatever area you eventually want to work in. You can also develop some skills and build a resume through some volunteer work. Part-time work or training for a field that allows some telecommuting might also be an option. It’s not easy, but there are options to explore, particularly if, as you say, you don’t want to sit in a small apartment and take government assistance.
chana
busybody, thanks for your advice. Believe it or not, I do have a degree, and it’s still not worth my while to go out and work. I added up how much I am getting on govt. assistance, (food stamps, section 8, headstart, medicadid, wic) and it barely cuts even to bringing home a salary. :(
It’s ridiculous that the poor are better off than the middle class.
a fellow ch neighbor
One thing that was ommitted is husband’s/sons’ haircuts!
Chosid Living a Reg Life... No Luxury!
Living in Crown Heights…
I live in crown heights and after filling that sheet i spend over 150k per year on my expenses.
that does not include any taxes… and yes I pay taxes…
Here are my big expenses..
Mortgage Taxes and insurance 40k
Groceries, Food etc 30k
Health Insurance and co pays 25k
Tzedokah and Maaser 15k
Cleaning help 10k
Rest clothing car ins life all add up to about 30k more
My kids are very young so I dont pay major tuition.. Dont know how im gonna manage that… I dont drive a fancy car just a stripped low end lease… I am greatfull for what i have…
I need to work 3 jobs to make ends meet…
BH Hashem sends but i feel bad for all the people that suffer and cant afford to spend on groceries!
Thats life in the big city people!
LF
These spreadsheets are irrlevent to most families.Id doesnt matter what the numbers are .If you have a family of 6 or 7 kids once you add up tuition and camp,(both of which are not optional despite what anyone thinks)even the very, very ,cheapest ,there is NO WAY you can make it. You can have all the rice and beans you want ,it wont make a diffrance. The solution : Option A ,we ignore The Rebbe and stop at 1.5 children. Option B,we all register our kids in Public School which will get the Gov. to give us vouchers. Option C ,we get the Givirim to underwrite the Moisdes which will allow the masses to earn a decent living ,budget and live with dignity.
got my credit fixed by lazer
lazer is brilliant! my credit score tumbled from 740 to 530 and for a year I haven’t been able to figure out what went wrong. Didn’t lose my job B”H, paid every bill on time and yet everyone was slashing my incredibly high credit limits. I was stumped. Until I went to lazer. In just one consultation he told me exacty what went wrong, how to fix it and now just two weeks later my credit score is back where it was. I’m thrilled!!!! His consultation is worth every dollar, this guy knows his stuff!!!
Chavs
To ZachKessin:
I agree with you 100%. We need to live within reality and buy what we can afford. Education is the parents’ responsibility. While I would never send one of my children to a brick and mortar public school, I also do not 100% buy into the idea that not to go to the community’s schools when you can’t afford them is spiritual suicide. We’ll be homeschooling our kids next year (to get out of debt) using public school charter funds (they pay for us to buy materials), and using SOME money for tutors in limudei kodesh. Like the beans and rice reference too…
#1-record every penny that comes in and goes out
#2-make a budget and stick to it!
#3-don’t be scared to take drastic steps to create a positive future
Every month you stay in debt you dig yourself in deeper and deeper!
ZachKessin
To the person who mentioned not ballenceing his (her?) checkbook
just remember every time the bank returns a bad check they charge you, it maybe anywhere from $20-$40 PER CHECK. If you are short on cash the last thing you need is to be giving the bank $250+ a month in bad check fees.
And in some cases passing bad checks can in fact be a felony and result in jail time.
Jobs, Training Programs, Resume Writing
Just a note. This past week I sent a Press Release and a flyer to two of the well known websites,of the Job Fair and Career Workshop event that we hosted, this past Tuesday July 21st at KingsBrook Jewish Medical Center. The flyer was also posted in the CHJCC for several weeks.
As a Community Liaison for NYC Council Member Darlene Mealy, I personally spent many weeks researching job fairs, and companies that are hiring and or training to bring well needed resources to the entire Crown Heights community and to the other neighborhoods that make up the 41st Council District. In addition, we had a speaker on Resume and Interviewing tips as well as a motivational speaker to encourage individuals on how to persevere in this difficult and changing job market.
Anyone interested in viewing some of the materials that were presented at this event, including, job leads and free training programs is welcome to come to the our office of Council Member Darlene Mealy at 1757 Union St., between Utica and Rochester from the hours of 9am to 6pm, Monday through Thursday and 9am-3pm on Fridays. Our phone number is 718.953.3097. Arna Lipkind, Community Liaison
curiouser
I dont know how people manage..with tuition, camp, shabbos clothes, food, pocket money for the children (you dont want them taking anything in the nosh store without paying!)
please enlighten us.
thanks
Avi
We’ll be homeschooling our kids next year (to get out of debt) using public school charter funds (they pay for us to buy materials), and using SOME money for tutors in limudei kodesh
can i get more information on this part please. how do i go around getting this funds. we were looking into similar solution so every penny will help
To: Chosid Living a Reg Life
If you’re spending $30K a year on groceries and food, there should be a way to cut down. That’s your most flexible number, and if you plan menus and use coupons etc. you should be able to get that down to half (if not less) which would free up enough to pay one or two tuitions.
If you’re not sure how to cut down, for one month try writing down each individual food or grocery purchase, and see where it’s going. That should give you some ideas.
Chavs
Avi,
We are living in CA. Do a google search on charter schools in your state. Or go on Yahoo and post messages asking about these kind of schools in you state on a homeschooling message board. Join the Jewish Homeschoolers board and get more info if you are interested.
In CA, an Educational Specialist (teacher) meets with you at a local library or whatever monthly, at which time you show documentation of what you have done as far as learning. the school we are going with allows us to spend $1200-$1500/year on materials per child. Their mission is parent-choice in education-they even respect hose with an “unschooling” philosophy. Good luck. I don’t see this as a permanent solution for us (except maybe for my more “special” kids), but for a year or so I actually think it will be an amazing vehicle for intellectual and spiritual growth-i.e., taking responsibility for yourself!
homeschooling
i homeschool my kids and really enjoy it. there are many books on homeshooling and unschooling.
good luck