Weekly Letter: Higher Education of a Daughter
As we begin the new school year – we share a letter of the Rebbe regarding the higher education of a daughter, some important factors to keep in mind and the question of college.
By the Grace of G-d
Mrs.
Brooklyn, N.Y.
Blessing and Greeting:
I am in receipt of your letter, in which you write about the future studies of your daughter.
It is hardly necessary to mention that all parents desire the maximum good for their children, and if this is so in regard to the material good, how much more so should it be in regard to their spiritual good?
It is also self evident that if Jewish parents have always tried to provide for the children the best spiritual environment, this is especially imperative nowadays, when the environment and the society in which Jews live, as well as many other factors, are not at all healthy for Jewish children, and are likely to have an undesirable influence upon them. Under such circumstances, parents must make a double effort to strengthen the children against such abnormal difficulties.
In light of the above, the answer to your letter should be self evident, namely to do everything possible to provide the children with maximum Jewish education, especially where it concerns a girl, and furthermore where, as you note in your letter, her education and upbringing will have a direct influence on the younger children.
From the above, you will readily understand my clear and definite opinion in regard to your daughter, namely that the best thing would be that she should go to Eretz Yisroel to study in the Bais Yaakov Seminary there, which would also provide the natural continuity in her education in Bais Yaakov here. And although this may entail homesickness and the like, this is a very small price to pay for the benefit and happiness of your child, and is quite insignificant by comparison to the loss which would result if she were deprived of this opportunity.
The above does not mean at all that there is any basis to believe that your daughter requires special entrenchment. It is merely a realistic approach, seeing as we live in a time when each and every one of us requires special strengthening in matters of the spirit, and certainly the younger generation who have yet to make their way in life. For them it is particularly important to take the right step and to continue along the right path, for every benefit during this period in their life will eventually be multiplied when they will reach full adulthood, set up their own home and raise their own family. I have mentioned in this connection the well-known illustration of a young seedling which requires particular care and attention at that stage, and every extra effort will be amply rewarded when the seedling becomes a fully grown, fruit- bearing tree.
As for your mentioning the idea of her attending college etc., it is most surprising that a person living in New York, who no doubt reads the papers and knows what is going on at the colleges, should still entertain such an idea, especially for a girl. Of course, I know that there are parents who think that their children are different and that their care and the home background, etc., are sufficient guarantee that their children will not be influenced at college adversely. Suffice it to mention that every Jew, even a perfect tzaddik in his old age, says every morning, at the beginning of every day, even before prayer, a special prayer in which he asks G-d, “Bring me not into the hands of temptation.” No one can be sure what the outcome can be when it comes to a test or temptation. Certainly parents should try their best to spare the children any tests and trials which are not simply a one-time occurrence, but a matter of being subjected to trials and tests day after day.
May G-d, whose benevolent Providence extends to each and every one individually, grant you the wisdom to make the proper decision in light of the above, and I am confident that you and your husband and all concerned will be pleased with and have true benefit from the proper resolution, and that you will have true Yiddish nachas from your daughter and all your children.
With blessing,
