Weekly Letter: Dealing With A Dispute

In connection with the parsha – where we learn of the dispute of Korach and his congregations – we share a lettter in which the Rebbe  gives some guidelines and practical advice on dealing with a dispute, based on the Shulchan Aruch.

By the Grace of G-d

Rosh Chodesh Kislev, 5740

Brooklyn, N.Y.

Dr.

Woodland Hills, Ca. 91367

Greeting and Blessing:

I am in receipt of your letter in which you register a complaint against two persons in your community.

I trust it is unnecessary to point out to you the rule of the Shulchan Aruch, which is also an accepted principle in any civilized society, and is also a matter of common sense, that one must not pronounce judgment in a dispute, without hearing first both sides. Besides, in the present case, I am confident that both parties involved will readily submit to the judgment of a Rov before whom the dispute can be submitted, and he will pronounce the proper judgment in accordance with our Torah.

I will take the liberty to make a further remark, namely, that the above ruling refers not only to a third party who must not make a judgment without hearing both sides, but also to the involved parties themselves, who must not prejudge their positions. For a person cannot be objective in a situation in which he is personally involved and, therefore, cannot make an objective judgment, not to mention an accusation, until he has heard the objective opinion of a person not involved in the situation who is fully knowledgeable of all the facts from the viewpoint of both parties to the dispute. And among Jews, a knowledgeable person in such a situation is one who is not only aware of all the facts, but also is knowledgeable in the Torah, which is called Torah Or, because it illuminates all things in their true light. 

I trust you will not take amiss the above remarks, inasmuch as the purpose is not to find fault or defend, but since by hashgocho protis you brought the matter to my attention, I must state to you what I think is the proper approach in such a situation.

May G-d grant that, together with your wife, you should bring up each and all of your children to a life of Torah, chuppah and good deeds, and have real Torah nachas from each and all of them, in good health and happy circumstances.

                                                                                    With blessing,