Suicide of Haredi Teen in Israel Raises Questions
Y., the child of a Hareidi family in Jerusaelm, took his own life a few days ago. Family members are pointing fingers at the Yeshivas he attended – and those he didn’t.
According to an exclusive Kikar Shabbat report, Y. was kicked out of the reputable Haredi school he attended throughout his childhood five years ago. His father was hospitalized with a serious illness during the same time period. Apparently, the directors and staff of the yeshiva simply ignored the child’s difficult situation at home, and this is when the child’s situation began to deteriorate.
Y.’s parents, however, remained determined to do their best for their son, and they tried to get Y. into another school. During this time period, the father was still hospitalized, but nevertheless he learned with Y. to assist in preparing him for the change of schools.
When the new school informed the family that Y. was accepted, they felt there was finally a ray of sunshine, a new hope. Unfortunately, their happiness was short lived; they learned that a principle of the old school phoned the new one informing them the child is “very problematic,” and the acceptance was reversed to rejection.
At this point, Y.’s condition began to deteriorate more rapidly, and it was not too long until he went off the derech and moved to the north. Despite his change of venue he remained in touch with his parents and the family. Two weeks ago, Y., now 19, called and asked if he can come home for Shabbos. His parents were thrilled, and they all enjoyed the special Shabbos. Y. was singing zmiros and even got up for davening on Shabbos morning.
After davening he asked his father to open the Aron Kodesh, he placed his head inside between the sifrei torah and wept bitterly. Two weeks later, he was gone; he took his own life. The teen left a note, which he had written two days before that Shabbos.
At the levaya, one of the maspedim, Rav Binayahu Shmueli spoke. “Woe is to us, that teachers destroy talmidim and now we see the result. I personally know the deceased and the family. The problem is that today, anyone looking to earn a livelihood becomes a teacher. Today, not every teacher understands education, and it is most unfortunate. Because of the failed system – he fell.”
In a conversation with Kikar Shabbat, a brother is quoted as adding “His rabbonim killed him. I learned in the same school and I know the situation first hand. The teachers killed him. I remember that period very well, when he wanted to come back to school and they did not permit him to. Even if a child is a joker and troublemaker, they must know how to deal with him – not to break him.”
“Perhaps our tragedy will shake the community, awaken someone, and everyone seeking to earn a living will not be hired as a teacher,” he said.
cws
was there possibly any molestation either going on at the time, or even years ago which may have haunted him?
How utterly painful this is.
Feel their pain
What a terrible tragic story!How heartbreaking!
My heart goes out to those poor poor parents . . . how many of us have children, who have been destroyed by their so called ‘teachers’, who had no idea how to handle them, if they were even slightly ”out of the box”;How many of us parents can relate to that???
What a terrible tragic story….again;
Hamokom Yenachem Eschem
Andrea Schonberger
This is so tragic.
s.tahor
i live in the same neighborhood.what i see is that in all charaidi yeshivas and seminars some children are made to feel unwelcome.their are those with the brand names and their are those that are barely tolerated.this can happen as early as 3 years old.a parent sends their child to cheder with dreams that he will be a talmid chacham,a yirat shimimim and almost immeadatly they see a change in the child.he has learned to be unhappy.multiply this until age 19 and its a recipe for great dispair.parents ,dont be unhappy if your child goes off the derech.at least he is alive.accept him or her,laugh,have fun and there is always hope
SKEPTIC
While I dont know the person, case or Yeshivas, this is only one side of what appears a quite complex situation. Just because someone voices his/her opinion, it does not mean that it is necessariry factual.
mendel
Goluse,,, we have to much trust in Money today more then life itsellf.
If this boy a child came from a family with Money the child would still be with us today, and he is now in shomaim propebly davening for us.
we have a yeshivah ketana in London that dose things like this, when will they stop, when its to late
Something very wrong here
Very sad extreme case. Really sick. A point of truth in article
is for sure kids are being turned off by horrible teachers who don’t
are not qualified. I have a son , not frum today. Totally embarrassed
By a teacher because he couldn’t memorize a text.
To the teachers credit, he apologized to my son a few years later and is no longer
A teacher.
System needs more help from professionals with training
Hirschel Pekkar
BH. The Lubavitcher Rebbe said, when you do a Jew a favor, you are doing a favor to all the generations after him.
The same – Chas vsholom is true also in the opposite.
zalman
some claim he was killed, and made it look like a suicide
YYt
Teachers, and family as well, must take notice of their kids’ emotions. If something is not going right with them, then they can talk with them. I am not chas veshalom pointing finger at anything in particular but it is noticeable sometimes and then one can take the kid/person to a professional or a rov. Important to watch for these mood changes.
how heartbreaking,HaShem should comfort the mourners, and we should learn from this to notice what people are going through, maybe it is an opportunity or a message to help them…….
HaShem, oy vehz
the truth is
I agree with the problems of our teachers. I had been working in a pre-school and I know first hand that many girls become teachers because the hours are good for them as mothers of young children and they get summers off. They have no patience for children and chose this profession for all the wrong reasons. And it is shocking to me that principals hire them in the first place. Not enough thought is put into who they hire. And then it is our children that suffer. Even if they are not Chas vsholom dangerous to our kids, they are depriving them of good motivational teachers. How sad.
to skeptic
how could u speak like that- u most probably don’t have children of your own – rebbeim can really damage children and we wish the schools had more power to deal with it. A Rebbi who is getting tired of teaching or who does not know how to teach should stop teaching. Parnassa is important but our children’s future is more important!
BD E
bs”d
boruch dayan ho’emes
hamokom yinachem eschem b’soch shar avelei rziyon v’yerusholayim
btw. what was in the note??
How True!
How true! My son was embarrassed by his teacher in Crown Heights, and then thrown out unjustly. When the principal realized it was a mistake he never said anything or apologized! B“H he is gone now. My son went off the derech, but B”H returned. But so many others have not, and we can only pray for them to return!
Aussie
Thank you for bringing this article out. I just want to point out if you know someone in the community is going through a hard time. Convince them to get professional help. There are plenty of organizations or individuals that deal with these kind of cases. In desperate situations we could learn from this hero who passed away this week.
THE “Angel of The Gap”, Sydney’s Don Ritchie, has died aged 85.
Mr Ritchie spent 50 years coaxing desperate people back from The Gap, the notorious cliff at Watsons Bay where hundreds have died or thought about taking their lives.
He helped save 500 despairing souls – usually with little more than compassion, a warm smile and a hot cuppa.
http://www.theaustralian.co…
Uber Chochom
The melamdim nowadays do not know how to handle kids. So said the maspid. (Hesped? Is that the minhag in such a case?)
Aha. So 100 years ago they were experts in handling talmidim.
Hmmm…
The Rejected
Rejection is the bane of my existence. I don’t recall the Baal Shem Tov or Hillel the Elder ever rejecting a single soul. Rejection has put more people off the derech than any other factor.
???
I heard that LY gave pink notes and detention
to boys who asked to go to the bathroom more
Than 2 a week… Who oversees their policys?
Ditto to #17
Honestly too many yeshivos around have this issue. You are ruining any bochur’s future as a frum jew doing this. Same applies to girls! Yeshivos and Seminaries need to know not to reject because of standards. Who the **** are you to judge what this boy or girl is capable of or even if they are not capable of ….. why not give them a chance and you can change their entire lives for good. Yeshivos and Seminaries out there, you fail to live to the baal shem tovs and the way of Chabad Lubavitch and it is entirely your fault that there is such a downfall in the youth of today. SHAME ON YOU!!!
NOT EVERY JEW IS MADE A MACHINE
BS”D
Not every Yid is made to be a learning Machine!
Its not just the teachers, its the system. By High school students should find a trade, something they want to do, and study it. This DOESNT mean they must go to college, but at least think about their life. I AM a bochur that LOVES to learn, but I also think of those who don’t. Its not an aveira. Ki Hem Chayeinu. He can learn 2 hours a day regardless. EVERYONE SHOULD, but it can’t keep on like this.
YESHIVAH ABUSE
WWE DON’T NEED TO GO TO ISRAEL FOR SUCH ABUSE BY YESHIVAS. RIGHT HERE IN CROWN HEIGHTS WE HAVE A WHOLE GROUP OF BOYS WHO ARE TOTALLY NOT FRUM TODAY BECAUSE OF THE PRINCIPAL OF THIS WELL KNOWN LOCAL YESHIVA. ONE BOY WAS REJECTED AFTER 11 YEARS IN THE YESHIVA BECAUSE HE WANTED TO LEARN ENGLISH (NOT TAUGHT IN THIS YESHIVA) A SUBJECT BEING TAUGHT PRIVATELY TO 25 BOYS OF THIS YESHIVA BY THIS PRINCIPALS WIFE! MAY HASHEM HAVE PITY ON HIS SOUL WHEN HE WILL HAVE TO GIVE A DIN V’CHESHBON FOR ALL THESE PRECIOUS LOST NESHOMOS!!!!!!
Mean spirited!
When my child was trying to get into a new school to learn, after being shunned by her current school, a certain rabbi told me he was very proud of himself for interfering and preventing acceptance into any other school. He should rot in Hell—
terribly sad
this is such a sore subject, teachers can be very manipulative, and verbally abusive, even within our own neighborhood – dear crown heights- but they will never blame themselves when bad outcomes happens. there must be something parents can do. There is great teachers out there, but some others must go.
how sad it is to read #1
how sad it is to read #1
some people are really fixed and cannot open eyes. there are other problems to address not just blame molestation
le
How many people have told me refering to a particular individual at a Yeshivah in C.H. that he KILLING away bochurim.
He meant beruchanius but as you can see it is also begashmius.
I rest my case.
Helen
anyone could be a teacher today, in some of these yesivas you just get out of high school and you can become a teacher all for the wrong reasons just to make money, you dont even need a Bachelors Degree.
of course this is not the way to go,
however- some parents purely blame the school for all their kids issues when it is CLEARLY home-made. so yes, it is a partnership but blaming the schools for your imperfect child is not the solution either
Mother in Los Angeles
Mothers and fathers have to be very aware of what goes on and be your child’s advocate. Principals and teachers are not in touch with the youth of Today.. What ever happened to Chinuch al pi Darko?
Ted
A yeshiva should never push a student away with
two hands like the prophet Elisha did to his student
Gahazi.