Friends Through Happy Occasions

by Dovid Zaklikowski for Hasidic Archives

It was a tragic accident on the Jerusalem highway when the Ludmil family car flipped over. The young mother, 45, was killed on the spot. While the other family members survived, the shock of her sudden passing brought many people to comfort the family.

Rabbi Pinchas Menachem Alter, the rosh yeshivah of the Sfas Emes Yeshivah, where the Ludmil children studied, came to console the family. While there, he comforted her father, Rabbi Yaakov Shaul Weinfeld, and her brothers, Rabbis Sholom Yosef and Shmuel Yehudah, who together were the publishers of the famed Eshkol publishing house.

Not long before, Rabbi Yaakov Shaul had been in touch with Rabbi Alter, who would later become the Rebbe of Gur, regarding a scholarly volume that was ready to be published. Rabbi Weinfeld had asked him to write an approbation for the forthcoming volume, and the head of the yeshivah gladly agreed.

When it was ready, he called the Weinfeld home, but the publisher said he was not feeling well and asked whether he could send his children to pick it up. When the two teenage children of Rabbi Weinfeld arrived, Rabbi Alter greeted them and invited them in. As the children of a publisher, and as members of a family that “loves Torah books,” Rabbi Alter shared with them stories about the printing of Torah works and about publishers. At the end, he wished them well, and the scholarly volume was soon published with Rabbi Alter’s approbation.

At the house of mourning for his sister, it was then that Rabbi Yaakov Shaul met Rabbi Alter in person. A short while later, an invitation arrived at the Weinfeld home to the wedding of Rabbi Alter’s son, Rabbi Daniel Chaim, to Hinda Rochel Borzikovsky.

Rabbi Weinfeld did not know why he had been invited, and he felt that he was not needed among the many thousands who would attend the wedding, where he would most likely not even be able to approach and wish Rabbi Alter mazel tov.

A few weeks later, one of the Weinfeld teenage sons was standing at a bus stop one morning when Rabbi Alter passed by on his daily walk. The boy, who had met Rabbi Alter when he came to pick up the approbation, approached him to greet him. The head of the yeshivah raised his dark glasses to see who he was and recognized him.

“The Rambam,” Rabbi Alter told him, “at the very beginning of the laws of mourning, states that Moshe Rabbeinu instituted seven days of mourning and seven days of festivities after a wedding.

“Why did he write about a wedding in the laws of mourning?” Rabbi Alter asked.

“When a person experiences a death in the family, he feels as though his entire world has been destroyed. The Rambam is telling us that while it is very tragic now, in the future there will be occasions of joy.”

At one point, he said to the teenager, “Surely you were surprised that I sent an invitation to my son’s wedding?” The teenager replied that his parents could not understand why they had been invited.

Rabbi Alter told him, “I had recently been in touch with your father regarding the newly published volumes. However, the first time I met him was in a house of mourning. I want our friendship to be built through happy occasions.”

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