Weekly Story: Likkutei Sichos Transformed My Life                            

by Rabbi Sholom DovBer Avtzon

I heard this story a few weeks ago. A Jew from Cleveland, Ohio, was speaking at a gathering commemorating 60 years since the Rebbe began teaching Rashi in his unique way, and they are known as the Rebbe’s Rashi Sichos.

As always, your feedback and comments are greatly appreciated and most welcomed.

Rabbi Meilich Muskal related his personal story of how he came to know of the Rebbe and how it ultimately led him to become one of his chassidim. He began by stating his family history. 

While his grandfather was the fourth son in the family, his parents recognized his higher level of intelligence and decided to send him (and not his older brothers) to the nearby Yeshiva in Siget. He learned under the tutelage of the future Satmar Rebbe, Reb Yoel, and showed tremendous potential.

But then the war broke out and he was of the fortunate ones that survived.

He came to America in his late teens and settled with relatives in Cleveland, Ohio.

While he personally survived, his attachment to yiddishkeit was one of the many casualties of the war. However, he decided to keep some traditions, such as making kiddish Friday night and having a cholent Shabbos afternoon. This was called Kosher-style.

In order to support himself and then his family, he became a handyman. Around that time Telshe yeshiva also opened up in Cleveland and they hired him to fix various things in the yeshiva, so he was on very friendly terms with the administrators. 

When his son, my father was around 6 years old and was about to go to public school, the Roshei Yeshiva of Telshe convinced him that his son should go to the local Hebrew day school called Hebrew Academy. The dean was Rabbi Dessler and he accepted my father. 

As my father grew up he brought his family closer to Yiddishkeit and had decided that his own family will be completely shomer Torah and mitzos.

Reb Meilich continued, my father indeed became a full baal teshuva, and I went to the local Hebrew day school and for mesivta (high school) I learned in a Yeshiva in Baltimore and when I graduated, I learned in Eretz Yisroel for three years. I then returned to Cleveland and shortly afterwards I met my future wife, and we got married.

The yeshivos taught me well. They gave me the necessary tools and more importantly the desire to continue to grow in my learning. However, there was one thing that I always felt was lacking.

In almost every Yeshiva I heard of, the emphasis is on understanding a thought in the gemora or perhaps halacha. Even in the yeshivas that are known as mussar yeshivas, relatively speaking, little time is spent on focusing on mussar in comparison to lomdus. Without question, very little time is spent on delving into and understanding the chumash.

My problem with that was and remains that I was fascinated by trying to understand chumash and Rashi and other commentaries. The only time I was allowed to pursue that interest was at night, after the 14 hour day of learning gemorah and davening. So I would jot down in a notebook my questions and observations, and when the opportunity arouse, I would ask other students or my teachers.

Too often my friends dismissed my questions by saying in yeshiva we focus on lomdus, not on chumash. Some of my teachers would direct me to some commentaries that clarify the topic I asked, but it was  noticeable that they too didn’t understand my fixation on trying to understand chumash. So by the time I finished learning in Yeshiva, I had a few notebooks with my unanswered questions on  chumash and Rashi.

One of the closest shuls to our house was a chassidishe shtiebel. The Rov was a brother of the Alexander Rebbe, and one Shabbos I decided to daven there. The davening had a certain lebedikeit to it which I enjoyed and hadn’t experienced in my yeshiva years. So I decided to daven there regularly. 

One day I saw that the shul was almost empty, so I decided to use the opportunity and ask the Rov one of my questions on the weekly parsha. 

The Rov discussed it earnestly and I was thrilled. Focusing on Chumash is important to him, it was not as if I am wasting my time on trivial matters. Paying more attention to his droshos, I realized that the chassidishe short sayings he mentions are constantly probing for a deeper understanding of the possuk. I realized that this is where I will feel at home. 

Sometime later, his daughter became engaged and married a Lubavitcher. Until then, I had no interaction with any Lubavitcher. I really did not know too much about Lubavitch, all I knew is what I was taught that Lubavitch has different customs than most Jewish communities, and the best thing is to stay away from them. But being that he was very available, I decided to try and ask him a few questions on the weekly parsha. To my utter happiness, he felt very comfortable discussing it, often mentioning that he had recently learned that very question in a sefer.  The thought process of the answers he gave me challenged my whole mode of thinking. I was blown up away at the brilliance in his answers, as well as his vast Torah knowledge. 

Evidently, the negative comments that people spoke about Lubavitch was out of ignorance, as this Lubavitcher is indeed a great Torah scholar.

This went on for a nice few months, every week I presented him with a few questions, and he answered them with clarity and innovative thoughts. One week, as we talking, he said to me; you heard me reply to you quite often, that I found your question in a sefer, and the answer I gave you was from that sefer. However, you never asked me for the name of the sefer and I intentionally did not say it. The reason was because I knew you learned in Litvishe Yeshivos and you probably heard negative remarks about Lubavitch, which is then a reflection on what they think about the Rebbe. I was afraid it might prevent you from listening to the explanations with an open mind.

But as the months passed and I see how much you appreciate the Rebbe’s answers and approach on how one is supposed to learn a Rashi, I believe it would be beneficial to you if we learn the answer to your question in the Rebbe’s own words. 

I replied, I am definitely willing to learn the Rebbe’s explanations from the sefer and in fact I desire to. He then said he will order a set of selected sichos on each parsha, called Oitzer Likkutei Sichos. We then made a commitment of what day and time we would learn every week, once I have my own set.

The shipment finally arrived, but by then I had already made plans to be out of town on a business matter.

But I was a stickler to keeping my learning schedule, so I told him, although I will be out of town, the hour we agreed to learn is designated to learning, and if he doesn’t mind we will learn it over the phone or internet. He agreed and I took the sefer he gave me with me.

While I was already exposed to the Rebbe’s way of learning a Rashi, learning it inside was fascinating and an eye opener. The way the Rebbe explains why he does not agree with answers from other commentaries was unbelievable, as well as his additional questions on that Rashi that I didn’t even contemplate on. The learning extended longer than our allotted time, but he had other obligations. 

I reviewed that sicha every night for the rest of the week, each time gaining more insight.

This weekly learning has been going on for five years. While we learned all the selected sichos in that set, once we finished learning them, I asked him to review them again, instead of beginning to learn other sichos.

Slowly the sichos caused that my entire way of thinking started to change. As my profound admiration of the Rebbe grew, I wanted to become closer to him. So I was thinking of adopting a few customs of chassidim. However, I would never do it without the full support of my wife, and without any hesitation or qualms, she gave it whole heartily.

The first one was the easiest one, as it was not a statement that I am coming close to chassidim and particularly to Lubavitch. I would go to the mikva erev shabbos. This is something that many Litvishe had begun doing.

But after that initial change, I accepted many other customs, such as changing my tzitzis and tallis, following the Lubavitch customs and then I began to daven from the Lubavitch siddur etc. The most noticeable one was when I decided to wear a kapote on Shabbos and Yomim Tovim, because I am a chossid of the Rebbe. 

I now came to New York to go to the Ohel to thank the Rebbe for illuminating my eyes and to truly appreciate the beauty of the Torah (Chumash) and allowing me to become a chossid.

When I repeated this story at a shabbos kiddush farbrengen, I asked, why is it that the person in Cleveland was so inspired by the sichos that it changed his life completely? He changed his nusach, his way of dress, affecting some friendships etc., while by others meaning some of the Rebbe’s own chassidim, may remain the same? How is it possible that it doesn’t affect us in an apparent way?

The answer is, that person is learning the sichos with a thirst and desire, he sees them for what they are, eye opening. While it is possible that some chassidim don’t get swept up in enthusiasm to learn them. Rather they learn it out of respect or a sense of obligation. 

Let us renew our learning of the Rebbe’s Torah with a sense of anticipation of what discovery am I going to observe this time, and then when the Sicha becomes alive, I too will become alive by it.

A Taste of Chassidus ViHikrisom Luchem Uhrei Miklut 5734

In this week’s parsha, we learn about the three Cities of Refuge in Eretz Yisroel. The fact that we always read this during the three weeks, and especially based on what the Shalah says that the parsha is always connected to the time period that it is read in, we have to understand what is the connection and relationship between the Cities of Refuge (for one who killed someone by mistake to be able to go there and find safety), to the message of the three weeks, which reminds us of the destruction of the beis hamikdash and that we are exiled from Eretz Yisroel.

The midrash explains on the possuk, Hashem is good and straight, therefore he guides the wicked on the way (Tehillim, 25:8 ), that Dovid Hamelech said to Hashem, Your kindness is so great, that although You warned Adam that he will die on the day he eats from tree of knowledge, but because of Your kindness, instead of killing him You banished (exiled) him from Gan Eden. The same thing is by one who killed unintentionally; they are exiled. 

This is the connection to the three weeks, it is a kindness of Hashem that He exiled us, instead of giving us a harsher punishment, because of our sins. And as is known that the eating from the eitz hadaas, is the source of all sins.

So we have to understand, how can we correct our situation that we no longer remain in golus (exile). In simple words, any “punishment” that the Torah gives, is not to punish, but rather to rectify the cause of this “punishment”, i.e. the behavior that led up to it.

The possuk says that Hashem placed Adam outside of Gan Eden and then He placed the sword to protect/watch the Tree of Life. [While the simple explanation means, that it was to prevent Adam from eating from the Tree of Life, Chassidus brings out a deeper explanation.]

The Tree of Life is referring to the Torah, [as we say when the Torah is lifted from the bima, Eitz Chaim he…]. So Hashem instructed Adam to watch/guard the Torah, and that is the way for him and all of us to get out of the exile decree.

This is also the concept of a city of refuge. In Hebrew it is called MIKLUT, which has the root of KUHLAT, which means to receive and absorb, until you and the item become one. And that is the concept of learning Torah, as the Alter Rebbe states in the Tanya, that when one truly understands the Torah, he becomes unified with it, and that unification is unparalleled by any other unity.

Furthermore, the halacha is that if someone has to flee to a city of Refuge, we have to make sure that not only does the person survive,  but they should thrive [to the extent that if he has a teacher, we instruct the teacher to join the student and continue teaching him.]

So we see that the purpose of exile is not to punish the person, but rather to correct their shortcomings.

And the reason why the six are divided into three in Eretz Yisroel and three out of Eretz Yisroel, is because three represent the three capabilities of thought, speech and action. This is significant because, when one truly toils in learning Torah, they use all three aspects.

Our sages tell us that the proper way of learning is to speak out what you are learning. But at the same time, one must concentrate on their learning, in order to delve into it deeper, and that is the aspect of thought. Additionally, the way one knows that they learned properly is if it comes out in action, through the actual fulfillment of the mitzvos, action.

So every aspect of the cities of refuge are related to learning Torah, which atones for one’s sin.

However, we have to understand, why when Moshiach comes will we need to add three more cities of refuge as then there will be no evil spirit, and subsequently no sin and definitely no murder, even an unintentional one?!

The word Cheit, which is normally translated to mean  sin, also has the meaning of lacking. So if one did not fulfill a mitzvah in its most proper manner, it is a cheit, a sin. And to correct that lack, that flaw we need the concept of three cities of miklut, which as noted means learning the Torah with our thought, speech and action to the point that we become unified with Hashem.

Rabbi Avtzon is a veteran mechanech and the author of numerous books on the Rebbeim and their chassidim. He is available to farbreng in your community and can be contacted at avtzonbooks@gmail.com.