Op-Ed: The Respect That The Rasha’g Deserves
In psychology there is something known as “the missing tile syndrome”. The idea (in short) is that a person brings another person into a very large room that has 1000 ceiling tiles. In the middle of the ceiling there is 1 tile missing. The host asks the visitor to look up at the ceiling and then asks him to share with him the first impression of the ceiling. In over 90% of the time, the person – does not mention the fact that there are 999 very nice looking tiles, rather the person – mentions the one tile that is missing.
Why am I bringing this up? In the history of “the seventh generation”, there was an individual that was an incredible and dedicated Chassid of the Frierdike Rebbe and our Rebbe. This person is Rabbi Shmaryahu Gurary – the “Rasha”g” (whose Yahrzeit is quickly approaching on 7 Adar) – the Rebbe’s brother-in-law and the dedicated menahel of Tomchei Temimim for many decades. Yet – despite his great merits – when people talk about the Rashag, inevitably the singular focus is the “missing tile” – the events that took place for a relatively short time after the passing of the Frierdike Rebbe.
It is very unfortunate and it is indicative of a much larger problem, in which young Chassidim have a tendency to enjoy judging and rating the “hiskashrus level” of older Chassidim. The fact that many of these older Chassidim lived a life of self-sacrifice, and we – the younger generation are the “chocolate and ice-cream generation” – is simply ignored.
The summer of 5750 was the first summer that I went to overnight camp in Camp Gan Yisroel, located in Parksville NY. I was 9 years old and every part of camp was new and exciting. I had some friends that had been in camp the summer before and they helped me understand the language and culture of camp and what to expect to happen in camp.
One of the things that I was told to look forward to was the weekly “shmaryunkee” show. What is a “shmaryunkee show” (for those that have never been in American camps)? Every Shabbas evening – between mincha and Maariv – some of the staff would make a comedy skit about what happened that week in camp. They would tease the head-staff and other silly things.
As I got older, I realized how completely out of place this type of show is: Instead of using the holiest time of the week “Rayva D’Rayven” to sing Chassidishe niggunim and give over a spiritual message, it is being wasted on silly comedy. Yet, it was only when I was in Kollel that someone actually explained to me the history of the name “Shmaryunkee”: It was an attempt to degrade the Rebbe’s brother-in-law, Rabbi Shmaryahu Gurary (Rasha”g), who used to say over Maamarim of the previous Rabbeim during this time.
This piece of knowledge appalled me. While it is obviously true that right after the histalkus of the Frierdike Rebbe the Rashag did not accept the Rebbe right away as the new Rebbe, but very early on he did accept the Rebbe and became one of his strongest and most devoted Chassidim! Without getting into all the details, it is important for one to reflect on the story of “Hey Teves” – when the Rashag’s immediate family and only son was in court against the Rebbe – and the Rashag firmly stood with the Rebbe!
I would like to share a – relatively – unknown story that brings out the deep hiskashrus that the Rashag had for the Rebbe. This story I heard from my dear father who personally witnessed the event and was the only Lubavitcher present – other than the Rashag – at the event.
Some background: It turns out that both my parents spent time with the Rashag. My mother worked as a secretary in his office in the main Lubavitcher Yeshiva on Ocean Parkway and my father would occasionally drive him to meetings. These meetings were with donors of the Yeshiva as well as the general meetings of “Gedolei Yisroel and Roshei Mosdos” that would meet to discuss certain policies that all Yeshivos should follow (usually in relation to receiving Government funding).
One day there was an important meeting and – due to traffic and some other technicalities – the Rashag (driven and being assisted by my father) ended up arriving late and the meeting was almost officially over. My father walked into the meeting behind the Rashag and heard one of the big Livitshe Roshei Yeshiva (my father told me his name but it is not important in the context of this article) tell the Rashag the following statement: “Rabbi Gurary: These were the decisions of the meeting and tell your brother-in-law (the Rebbe) our decisions.”
Without missing a beat, my father heard the Rasha”g respond: “In Lubavitch we don’t give conclusions to the Rebbe, he tells us what the conclusion is. I will tell the Rebbe (he would not use the words “my brother-in-law”!) your suggestions and he will decide accordingly.”
These words were not said over at a late-night farbrengen between Chassidim. This was a natural response of a Chassid – to one of the biggest Litivishe Gedolim – that was completely dedicated and given over to his Rebbe. The fact that the Rebbe was his younger brother-in-law did not matter to him at all. He knew what a real Rebbe was (afterall he was by the Rebbe Rashab and spent countless hours with the Frierdike Rebbe!) and was completely given over to our Rebbe.
The time has come for the Rasha”g to be given the proper recognition that he rightfully deserves (and “shmaryunkee” should be cancelled). The Rasha”g should always be spoken about with reverence and respect. Instead of focusing on “the missing tile”, the focus should be on his dedication to the Rebbe for many decades.
PS – Today, 28 Shevat 5785, is my birthday. I would like to take this opportunity to wish all of you all Brachos in Ruchnius and Gashmius. Together; may we merit to be reunited with our dear Rebbe with the Higalus of Moshiach now!
Please feel free to share your thoughts on the above with me by sending me a personal email: rabbiavtzon@gmail.com
